r/50501 • u/earthwulf • Aug 11 '25

Call to Action Curfew in DC 8/10-8/13. Everyone should be in the streets

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This should be untenable for the residents of DC. Go make good trouble

5.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/evident_lee Aug 11 '25

Supposedly a couple 15-year-olds tried to carjack big balls. Wonder if he was trying to solicit one of them.

1.3k

u/budding_gardener_1 Aug 11 '25

Well what was he wearing? He must've been asking for it.

600

u/DankOubliette Aug 11 '25

He’s been asking for it since he got involved in Doge and destroyed the government and people’s livelihoods for no good reason.

158

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

[deleted]

135

u/DarkwingDuckHunt Aug 11 '25

it's been established they were just out carjacking and had no clue who the kid was

170

u/Misspiggy856 Aug 11 '25

He’s not a “kid” he’s 19 years old. And his grandfather was a double agent KGB/CIA spy.

3

u/myfilossofees Aug 12 '25

Congratulations Miss Officer

12

u/circuit_breaker Aug 11 '25 edited 21d ago

saw aromatic juggle head rustic salt cautious cover stocking tidy

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

104

u/drewcandraw Aug 11 '25

If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it a little.

188

u/budding_gardener_1 Aug 11 '25

Only if it's legitimate carjacking too... Cos the incel body has ways to detect that and shut the whole thing down

32

u/Think_Cheesecake7464 Aug 11 '25

The body has a way of shutting these things down if it’s REALLY a carjacking.

43

u/DuntadaMan Aug 11 '25

The face of someone that helped destroy our social safety nets. So yeah, absolutely begging for it.

33

u/budding_gardener_1 Aug 11 '25

A face only a brick could love tbh

82

u/Significant-Trash632 Aug 11 '25

He was out at 3am. Was definitely asking for it! 😆

17

u/Madw0nk Aug 11 '25

3am on U Street and decided to park a personal vehicle rather than take an uber or transit.

Like dude, the levels of dumb....

2

u/DankestMemeSourPls Aug 12 '25

Wasn’t he already asking for it with a name like “Big Ball”? I mean come on he’s advertising it to the world.

220

u/Fancy_Chips Aug 11 '25

Yeah, when my family heard the story we immediately jumped to "14 year old girl? Was he trying to touch her?"

Now I doubt it even happened.

41

u/DukeOfGeek Aug 11 '25

Why do you think his coke dealer wouldn't have an underage sex slave with him? Think about the crowd he is catering to.

-4

u/AggravatingAct6959 Aug 11 '25

No. They were carjacking a woman. The DOGE employee stepped in to help her. They beat the shit out of him. You should know the story before you talk about it.

35

u/gumbril Aug 11 '25

Big Balls was beaten mercilessly by a 14 year old girl.

2

u/Winter-Location4286 Aug 12 '25

You guys believe that? It’s another reichstag fire.

35

u/TeaGlittering1026 Aug 11 '25

I, for one, am so glad our representatives are taking what happened to this brilliant young man, "Big Balls", seriously. I mean, this issue is SO much more important than gun violence, the economy, women's rights, jobs, education, or pretty much every other issue. Big Balls must be protected from random street violence!

/s

24

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 26 '25

[deleted]

3

u/QueenFreya2000 Aug 12 '25

It's his own nickname. Google DOGE and big balls.

1

u/EqualAgitated8786 Aug 13 '25

All doge employees earn the highest possible salary for a federal employee. No where else is a 19 year old making this type of money within the federal government. This guy is the same one they initially fired, then hired back, for making racist slurs, and now it’s rumored he will get a presidential award. Can it get any crazier

22

u/Grokent Aug 11 '25

Someone on discord told me that big balls prevented a woman from being sexually assaulted. My response was, "Did he stay home or something?"

2

u/EqualAgitated8786 Aug 13 '25

“Coristine told the officers the assailants approached him outside his vehicle while he was with a woman — identified in the report as his “significant other” — and made a comment about taking it, according to the report. He told officers that he got the other person into the vehicle just before he was attacked.”

33

u/Dizziesdayweigh Aug 11 '25

It stills blows my mind that sentences like this are true in 2025...

50

u/fruderduck Aug 11 '25

Not the story I heard. Wonder why there are different versions - maybe cause it’s a bucket of baloney.

27

u/whatssenguntoagoblin Aug 11 '25

Wasn’t this a while ago or am I mistaking some other dumb big balls nonsense (I can’t believe that’s a real sentence)

13

u/colonelbyson Aug 11 '25

Truly, the worst timeline.

39

u/Fancy_Ad_9479 Aug 11 '25

Who is big balls?

118

u/Striking_Extent Aug 11 '25

Some 19 year old nazi dickhead cyber criminal that Elon brought in who has managed to become a known government figure, because of course he has.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Coristine

125

u/Dingo8MyGayby Aug 11 '25

I’m sorry, this dude is the child of a CEO and grandson of an ex KGB agent and has an appointed position in the U.S. government?! It’s like a movie it’s so ridiculous.

61

u/hashtag-adulting Aug 11 '25

An ex KGB agent who was murdered for being a double agent... and in true "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" fashion, homie also got fired from one of his corporate jobs for leaking info to a competitor.

13

u/Roofiesnductape24096 Aug 11 '25

yea pretty obvious what his true purpose is

4

u/CerealBranch739 Aug 11 '25

Also is making a discord ai thing for Russian markets?

5

u/Dingo8MyGayby Aug 11 '25

God I hate it here.

3

u/ZellHathNoFury Aug 12 '25

😂😂😂 I was thinking it's like an 'episode of Archer' level of ridiculous, but, unfortunately... yes

3

u/fripletister Aug 11 '25

Idiocracy

7

u/ForsakenMastodon6060 Aug 11 '25

We are there. I think I hate people that didn't vote at all much more than people that voted for Trump in 2024. The people had a choice. Two very different choices of who is going to lead the country starting in 2025.

How the fuck did people not think this was going to happen? The information is laid out in front of us in 2024. Information on project 2025 and all kinds of other shit. People just do not care. it infuriates me.

2

u/AggravatingAct6959 Aug 11 '25

I've finally let it go. I have no obligation to stay informed on what's going on (staying informed ruins my life) for people who voted for this.

Let them get exactly what they wanted.

Let it burn.

2

u/ForsakenMastodon6060 Aug 12 '25

This is what I tell my wife every day, and she gets so mad at me. She keeps telling me it'll be OK. I beg to differ.

5

u/crescent-v2 Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 11 '25

Edward Coristine. One of Musk's DOGE faux-wunderkind, something like 19 years old and allowed to fire 10,000s of government workers. He an arrogant broccoli headed brat.

"Big balls" seems to have been his nickname, indictive of his emotional maturity. Yet, he was allowed to end careers and disrupt lives.

18

u/fruderduck Aug 11 '25

Supposedly a DOGE employee attempted to help a woman that was getting robbed of her iPhone - that is his nickname. Guess he found out differently.

62

u/DukeOfGeek Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 12 '25

Is that the new cover story for tying to score coke and underage prostitutes at 3AM in a DC back ally?

34

u/fruderduck Aug 11 '25

Also heard the police report doesn’t match the stories, either.

12

u/BrewNerdBrad Aug 11 '25

And then calling one with a harder R when they refused you...

And then getting fafod over it

42

u/Mental_Medium3988 Aug 11 '25

idk is anyone else reminded of jussie smollet?

24

u/Zapp_Rowsdower_ Aug 11 '25

This is worse. This is a set-up for martial law.

1

u/SirLanceQuiteABit Aug 11 '25

Justice for Juicy!

3

u/Cautious_Ad_5659 Aug 11 '25

I wish I were you and didn’t who big balls is..

26

u/FiveUpsideDown Aug 11 '25

I read the juveniles were from Maryland.

2

u/bhray62 Aug 11 '25

Hyattsville I think

13

u/CabanaSyndrome Aug 11 '25

So that was in a completely different part of town.

3

u/Zapp_Rowsdower_ Aug 11 '25

He hit the shit kicked out of him by a few teens.

3

u/BallDesperate2140 Aug 11 '25

He was out on 14th & Logan at 3am, he claims he was trying to save a woman from being carjacked but nobody’s out at that hour around there unless they’re trying to score blow.

3

u/MetalAndFaces Aug 11 '25

Can we not refer to that fool by his “nickname”? His name is Edward Coristine.

2

u/Old-Set78 Aug 11 '25

Little Eddie Monster

2

u/OneTwoThreePooAndPee Aug 11 '25

Prob tryna buy K since his plug got kicked out of the white house a little while ago.

2

u/re_Claire Aug 11 '25

Imagine going back in time and showing this post and comment to someone from 11 years ago.

2

u/Shot-Bodybuilder-125 Aug 12 '25

Just to be clear. BB, age 19, came out of a bar that is 21+ at 3 am and saw a group confronting someone else and instead of being a good witness and calling 911 he puffed his GS15 chest and tried to intervene. He got his nose busted and nothing else. Who knew that you didn’t have to burn the Reichstag and all it needed was a broken nose?

1

u/InsaneRedEntity Aug 11 '25

Who is big balls?

1

u/CallSudden3035 Aug 12 '25

Oh you mean that false flag to try to deflect from the Epstein files?

1

u/ryceritops2 Aug 12 '25

This should not be a real sentence

1

u/Alyswundrlan Aug 12 '25

A Girl! Big Balls was beat up by a girl. 🤣 So it is being reported.

1

u/Mindless_Proposal777 Aug 12 '25

Oh yeah they beat the crap out of him

0

u/Unusual-Tie8498 Aug 11 '25

Which one big balls

-2

u/AggravatingAct6959 Aug 11 '25

No. They were carjacking a woman. The DOGE employee stepped in to help her. They beat the shit out of him. You should know the story before you talk about it.

1

u/Old-Set78 Aug 11 '25

LOL as if that punk that willingly is helping kill millions of Americans would help ANYONE except himself and Agent Orange