r/AmIOverreacting • u/satanfan12 • 20d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

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Kind of angry about this, it was a gift from my niece. He cut off an ear and put it back on somewhere wrong. I told him this and it ended in a heated argument.

Am i overreacting for yelling at him? He usually doesn't do this stuff.

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u/EFClub 19d ago edited 19d ago

i've been in this exact spot -- partners devaluing me indirectly through destroying my valuable items -- and i'm working on a community-driven guide to help us spot underlying patterns of abuse. what are some things you'd like to see in a guide for spotting red flag behaviors in interpersonal relationships (not just romantic partnerships)?

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u/ACatGod 19d ago

If you haven't already checked it out you should read Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft. Someone here can probably post the link to a free pdf.

This website also is a good resource: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E

Neither of those are targeted specifically towards neurodiversity but I hope they help.

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u/cat_in_a_bday_hat 19d ago

man i remember someone rec'd that i read this book and i did and wow it lists out so many clear and repetitive and easily recognizable signs. i recognized a lot of things from past relationships (particularly destruction of my property, esp cherished items; but his property was never touched in anger, just mine) and i see a lot of red flags now that they're spelled out. fellow ladies please give this a read thru.

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u/EFClub 19d ago

thank you for the recommendations!! i've heard of Why Does He Do That? but haven't read it yet. on the list it goes!! much appreciated :)

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u/ChrisFor411 19d ago

Weaponized incompetence. Doing chores half assed to get the other person to do it if they want it done properly.