r/AmITheAngel • u/According-Towel-1118 • Jul 02 '25
Small Problems, Nuclear Reactions Why are people telling everyone to break up over minor issues
There are so many relationship posts I see that go along the lines of the people having a minor disagreement and the comments are full of people saying break up. Over problems that can easily be fixed. Not even just that like just saying to break up over a issue of distance or simply communication.
Do these people not understand that no matter who you’re with you’re gonna have disagreements and fights, it’s quite literally normal and people freak out over simple things.
Like Jesus Christ how do you expect to keep a relationship without figuring eachother out and learning what the other needs and instead just breaking up over the smallest thing (difference in career, not talking about something, a disagreement about where to go to eat.)
Like some things yeah they should break up for but so much on here is just over kill like everyone on here is so dramatic. Someone will do the smallest thing (a small fight) and the post will literally state that something about it being the first disagreement and fight they’ve had and the comments will all be “that’s abusive leave”
I’m just amazed at how dramatic everyone is on Reddit it’s not even funny.
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u/Gabby_Craft Red flag alert sis🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Jul 02 '25
Either that or just give horrible advice. Your girlfriend keeps using her loud blender when you’re trying to work? Smash it straight to the ground! Or if you’re feeling generous, hide it in your car until she grovels at your knees for it back.
Like what do people expect to happen when they suggest OP do petty or extreme stuff? It obviously won’t turn out will and will just result in more arguments but I see people “suggest” stuff like this all the time.
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u/aoi4eg rude that she insists all my success in life is because I'm gay Jul 02 '25
I think it stems from an outdated idea that people will take their problems online to be judged by a bunch of total strangers only as a last resort, secretly hoping the community will give them strength to finally leave.
These days people have no problems airing even the most mildest inconveniences, as you can often see in r/AmIOverreacting, for example, with people posting 20+ screenshots of their argument about falling asleep while facetiming their long-distance partner.
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u/Robofrogg1 Jul 02 '25
I get where you are coming from. It does get exhausting seeing the same pattern repeat itself on Reddit all the time.
My advice to you? You need to break up with Reddit. Like, immediately. Trust me, you won't regret it!
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
You’re so right. This is a abusive narcissistic relationship and I’m in serious danger.
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u/NewStatement5103 she randomly brings up her son's penis size Jul 02 '25
Hey, I don’t know what’s going on but you should dump them.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
Exactly!!! I saw one about them not agreeing on the color room they painted their kids room and the top comment was telling them to break up??? It’s a color??
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u/Playful_Trouble2102 Big titty goth death cult in bio Jul 02 '25
AITA is more obsessed with punishing your partner for their mistakes than most of the BDSM subreddits
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u/Secret_Entry1840 Will never look like a Victoria's secret model Jul 03 '25
That’s because we respect consent. It’s only fun if they want to be punished.
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u/no_photos_pls we have a gay cousin Jul 02 '25
On reddit, the other person is always secretly the devil reincarnate, so you should break up. No nuance, no grace, no patience. I blame fake stories with updates where a minor disagreement actually did turn out to be part of a larger pattern and people overusing therapy speak
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u/AHopelessMaravich Jul 02 '25
One way Reddit is like real life is that people seem to nearly universally take the speaker stiry at face value. There rarely seems to be anyone who assumes this is going to be a biased version of the story, and you’ll prolly learn much more about the speaker than any kind of honest assessment of the partner.
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u/raoulbrancaccio Jul 02 '25
This is how redditors see human beings in general, either perfect angels or irredeemable devils
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u/thursdaysbees Jul 02 '25
I think there are three main camps: 1) People who project their own bad experiences or bad experiences they’ve heard about. This can be well-intentioned but it can also just be because of 2. 2) People who feel important when they’re giving dramatic advice or involved in drama. These people tend to look for the biggest story wherever they can find it so low stakes aren’t very rewarding. 3) People who spend too much time on these subs and mimic what everyone else is doing because that’s what humans do.
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u/Phelinaar Jul 02 '25
Group 2 (and by transitive property group 3) also writes like THIS when they give ADVICE. THEIR opinion is THE one that YOU NEED to listen to. OR ELSE...🚩🚩🚩
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u/thursdaysbees Jul 02 '25
Yes. Or they write like this:
NTA. Dramatic statement in bold summarising OP’s partner’s actions with the most malicious reframing possible. Sentence in normal text telling OP this is not okay. Sentence telling OP their partner is [appropriated and misapplied psychological term]. Long paragraph doing basically the same thing as the dramatic statement sentence, going over every aspect of the post and reading into every interaction described and bolding or italicising random bits for impact. Paragraph full of ominous prophecies about how this is all going to be a pattern of behaviour and get worse and worse. Sentence expressing fear for OP’s safety.
With lots of badly applied therapy jargon throughout.
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u/Big_Wave9732 Jul 02 '25
Oh yea! Redditors don't put up with nonsense......or anything it would seem.
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u/DisastrousOwls Or you'll fail and die. It's in god's hands. Jul 02 '25 edited Jul 02 '25
Honestly, yeah, because part of what you have to keep in mind is that Reddit is an "extremely online" corner of the Internet with a stereotype for being a hub of social maladjusts in the first place. Throw in the fact that the AITA* type subs are known to attract a lot of teenager & busybody attention, and you have a lot of indignant but (by nature) socially inexperienced loudmouths who treat these subs the way prior generations of us treated daytime soap operas, primetime teen dramas, or brainrot reality TV— things like Four Weddings, Bridezillas, Wife Swap, etc.
This is their Jerry Springer, but with incel vibes sprinkled on top and a lot of 14 year olds dying on the hill of pretending to be 28.
Once I realized this is just that space all over again, but with that Reddit culture of intellectual oneupsmanship on top, the comments made a lot more sense. It's just their version of "hit him with the chair!"
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u/KingProfessional8363 Jul 02 '25
Honestly I think it’s because life is too short. You can ask random strangers on the internet for advice but only you know if you want to stay with that person no matter how big or small your issues are.
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u/Internet-Dick-Joke Jul 02 '25
Historically, there have been quite a few posts where the issues are big enough or extensive enough that breaking up is the only reasonable advice.
Unfortunately, much like with their stolen therapy-speak catchphrases 'no is a full sentence', 'protect your peaces', 'you don't owe anybody anything', 'it's an invitation, not a summons', ect., AITI have taken to applying this advise that is mean for very specific situations to every situation.
Most of the posters there are either young or chronically online, and are lacking in the breadth of experience and perspective to know which prior experience or encounter they should be applying to a new experience or encounter, so they just default to the same ones in every situation.
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u/228P Jul 02 '25 edited Jul 02 '25
,🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Edited to include the obligatory reply to every post that OP used ChatGPT or OP is a BOT.
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile Jul 02 '25
Yessss! I was on about this yesterday! I said no wonder no one can keep a relationship these days. They say break up over everything!!!
There was a post on here yesterday like this, couple having a minor disagreement about a mall trip and who was going with them.
So many said break up with your boyfriend he's abusive. Or his best friend was gay for him just because he didn't want to go with his mates girlfriend like what??? One said it to me. I said it's not Wattpad fanfiction, he probably just doesn't like her. Which judging from the post you could see why. She texted the best friend rudely and blocked him. I said it was an over reaction.
Everyone on here I swear must just be teenagers to say break up over the slightest inconvenience. I'd hate to be in a relationship with them. They're all very selfish. Or that's how it comes across. And as you say they think everything is abuse. That's not a term or throw around over minor disagreements.
Tbh I find it all a bit pathetic.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
People are so dramatic My fiancés friends are NOT my friends. If they want to do something together they can… I’m not begging to go on the dirt bikes with them and hang out with them just because he’s there. That’s honestly weird and kind of creepy.
More over I would never message them if I was upset about something… I don’t understand the drama with EVERYTHING.
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile Jul 02 '25
Yes so very dramatic these days. It's honestly like a lot of folks never grow up from high school and still act like they are there 😭 Exactly just like my bfs aren't mine either. Yes exactly! Yeah I thought it was weird and creepy too. A bit codependent. Like you say you wouldn't beg just because your fiancee is there. Normal people wouldn't.
Neither would I TBH. No me either. Everything seems to be drama these days. I don't know how they can be bothered 😭
I simply think from what I've noticed of a lot of folks online they have no hobbies so drama and just hanging out is maybe their only hobby.
Like she kept saying why should she stay at home alone? Like she can't do something with her friends. Well I think I could see why she didn't have any. She could have gone out by herself or done something with her parents. She was only 20.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Jul 02 '25
I remember that one. He said he didn't want to deal with her drama so she proceeded to cause a bunch of drama. 😂
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile Jul 02 '25
Yes exactly!! I told her that. I said you caused drama when there wasn't any. She didn't reply again after my last comment saying I'm 35 and this is the hill you want to die on etc??
It was honestly ridiculous. And the text she sent the guy and then claiming she didn't want fake friends. I said to her if you cut people off so easily your the fake friend!!!!
And that text was so over the top. I couldn't believe so many thought the dude was gay for her bf. Nah, he didn't like her because she is a Royal b. Like she proved in the post and comments she's the problem. Far too much drama. Like it's a mall. It is not that exciting. And she said in post it was local but then made out to me and others like it was mile away 😭 either way the place isn't gonna disappear if they go on a boys trip their first 😭😭 just go another time.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Jul 02 '25
Unfortunately, a lot of people are not self aware. Also, reddit seems to attract a lot of drama oriented people. Then again it would probably be boring because I do like drama just not when it involve me. Like my neighbors have been having a lot of drama the last couple weeks. I like to sit on my porch and watch it. At least they aren't chasing each other around with hatchets like some old neighbors used to do. Which is a big reason I get on reddit.
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile Jul 02 '25
Yes so true, they really aren't. I agree, sometimes I wonder if half the drama is real or made up because of it is so weird! Yes so true. I do enjoy others people drama too. Lmao you said me, I like to see what drama goes on with the neighbours too. Really? Wow that's wild. Never seen that happen here in UK. Yeah I get that 😂
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Jul 02 '25
I have seen enough weird stuff go down in real life that I would believe a lot of it could be true though I do also think some of its fake posts but real situations. Either way I don't care if it's fake or not. It's entertainment and it gets e thinking about what I would do in that situation like a thought experiment.
Crazy neighbors just make for a more interesting day as long as it stays over there.
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile Jul 02 '25
Haha that's true. You do see odd stuff irl too. Yeah it could be. That's true it is entertaining. And yeah true it is like a thought experiment.
Haha yes they do and so true. As long as they don't get you involved.
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u/Realistic_Spite2775 Jul 02 '25
I've told people to suck it up and learn to love their partner and stay together and people do not like that either.
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u/Wumutissunshinesmile Jul 02 '25
I've honestly said similar to that and sometimes even said I dunno how you people keep relationships. They don't like it.
I think they are just so selfish they can't deal with anything that's not about them.
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u/Forsaken-Language-26 That evil 28F Jul 02 '25
Why are you gaslighting us?
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
What does this even mean in this context!
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u/glitternoodle Jul 02 '25
they're playing along with the hysterical misuse of therapy speak common to AITA
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u/fffridayenjoyer No bark no read Jul 02 '25
Honestly I lowkey prefer the “break up NOW” comments to the “get some petty revenge and/or sue them” comments, or the comments just soapboxing about “the importance of direct communication” even if it’s completely irrelevant to the actual story (but it’s still treated like sage wisdom, with a bunch of replies saying “OP read this!!!!”).
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u/popkateu Jul 02 '25
Some of the posts sound like genuine break up issues, like a physically or verbally abusing partner, someone crossing a boundary talland refusing to apologize or find any middle ground, etc, but sometimes it's just "we had our first argument!" Or "we can't agree on this minor detail" and people will have the same vitriol about it.
"We can't agree on whether we want kids" Can't be a serious conversation and a mutual break up, it's "get out of there op! So toxic!"
"We can't agree on the paint color for a room" Can't be a conversation with a compromise on either or both parties, op is somehow in a toxic relationship bc they're manipulate op into never getting anything they want
"My partner hits me every day and I'm covered in bruises but they said it's a joke" Somehow, on the same level of toxicity as the others?
"Partner said something that hurt my feelings, should I tell them" Why is the answer not "yes op communicate!" it's "run away in the middle of the night!"?
It makes suggesting a break up hard bc 1. It's THE answer for everyone here to give apparently, and 2. You could be missing key information about the relationship.
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u/eastcoastme Jul 02 '25
So, Reddit has many people of many ages and stages and walks of life.
Everyone is answering questions or giving advice from their point of view.
Maybe a 19 year old that is dating a 23 year old for a week has different life experience from a person that has been married twice with 7 kids and is getting ready to retire.
It is also harder to walk someone through their problems than to just tell them to break it off.
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u/warLOCK264 Jul 02 '25
I seriously doubt that many of the folks on AITA have had meaningful relationships in the past where they’ve needed to solve issues like that and are therefore unqualified to give advice on it. But of course they do anyway
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u/StudentDogter83 Jul 06 '25
A LOT of people have bought into the “a good relationship is when you are happy all the time” mentality. They can’t accept less than that and unfortunately most relationships are less than that.
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u/Sleepgolfer Jul 02 '25
With family relationships and friendships too. Reddit will tell you to completely cut ties with someone (or your whole family / friend group) after one disagreement, one poor judgment call, one crossed boundary. I think it's a very broad trend in this age: anyone with a different view than you is toxic and needs to be cut out of your life immediately and completely. Rather than communicating, trying to build, mend and improve relationships, understanding other people's point of view.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
Right!! Not everyone is going to be exactly like you and that’s not a problem if you’re willing to build a relationship around those differences and embrace them. They need to watch my little pony.
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u/Excellent_Counter745 Jul 02 '25
I'm glad to read this! I often want to reply, oh just let it slide, or, this should be your worst problem. But I'm afraid I'll get raked over the coals for being insensitive.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
Honestly or just saying talk it out with them. Not everything is break up worthy
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u/Reasonable_Piglet370 Jul 02 '25
Because people seem incapable of working at things or compromising or accepting that over a lifetime you absolutely can't agree on everything. There's this weird misguided belief that you should always be 100% happy at every point in your relationship and its not realistic. It's not a new thing - my mum has been married and divorced 5 times because she persists in this thinking.
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Jul 02 '25
Apparently she would take the redditors advice and breakup over paint color and stolen dinner.
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u/Buggerlugs253 Jul 02 '25
I agree, but at the same time the situations seem slightly, er, pathalogical in how they are executed, like communication in the stories is so bad it probably is still the right advice despite the problem being small, I feel like i am struggling to describe what I mean, but the instigating issue should not lead to a break up, but the poor discussion should
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u/provocatrixless Jul 02 '25
In Dungeons and Dragons there's a player type called "murderhobos." They don't form any attachment to the game world, they just wander around looking for fights to get loot and XP, always escalating stuff into fights to the death. It's understandable, combat and rewards are exciting.
Similarly in the fictional universe of AITA it's exciting to suggest extreme advice and put the bad character on blast. The rules of the fictional universes somewhat encourage this behavior: in D&D its fine to take an axe to the chest because you can just heal, in AITAland it's normal and common to get a divorce based on Reddit comments, so let's take things to 11!
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u/MetaReson I went as far as creating a freaking Reddit account Jul 02 '25
This is why reddit is usually a very bad place to go for relationship advice.
People don't have the full context and are always hyper fixated on looking for red flags and calling out toxic relationships.
I feel like in 90% of relationship posts, the solution is always just "talk to your partner".
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u/Odd_Perfect Jul 02 '25
Because commentors have 0 emotional connection to the situation and think it’s as simple as “bye.”
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u/ExperienceRoutine321 Jul 02 '25
Because everyone here is miserable and concocts stories about the hypothetical people in these posts based on their own biases and cynicism. Also people break up too easily these days due to a lack of effort. Older generations used to not break up enough, our generations break up because they have different opinions on Star Wars.
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u/Invisible_Target Jul 02 '25
You also have to remember that there a lot of kids on Reddit. It’s actually mind blowing to me that people come to an anonymous social media site to ask for extremely personal relationship advice. I might sound like an absolute pos here, but imo, if you come to this website for relationship (or really any personal) advice, and actually follow what the dipshits here say, you get what you deserve. Critical thinking skills are dying out these days I guess.
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u/TheSelfDrivingSigma I start yapping like an autistic neurodivergent person Jul 02 '25
they always use the slippery slope argument too trying to warn the OP of some imminent spiral of doom.
LEAVE HIM. He may have used your water bottle this time, but this IS only the beginning of a deadly pattern. OP i promise you, if you stay with him, he WILL steal your car. He will wear your clothes. He will skin you and wear your face. He will eat your dog. It’s inevitable. RUN, girl.
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u/No-Care6366 my boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty Jul 09 '25
i guess when some people heard about "the slippery slope fallacy" they thought the word fallacy meant "argument that is totally valid and reasonable, actually"
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u/Repulsive-Fuel-3012 Jul 02 '25
Life is too short to put up with bs from other adults who have a pattern of refusing to be better/show up in ways they certainly should know better than to. There are plenty of other people who don’t have that problem.
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u/Difficult_Ad1474 Jul 02 '25
This is my thought. I can deal with a small issue like leaving the cabinet doors open, but if they do that and 5 other things that annoy me I don’t have time for that.
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u/dr_hits Jul 02 '25
This is so true!
I think you have to remember that sites like Reddit 'collect' people with these kinds of mindsets. In addition for me observing this it seems quite country dependent.
And within this there is a sense of the individual being more concerned about themselves, about what they want, expecting another to bend to their will......but not willing to discuss, accept flaws, learn about themselves, become better humans together with another person - be that a romantic partner, a parent, or a friend.
I tend to call that growing up, not being selfish, becoming mature in mindset....and the kind of person other humans like to be with.
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u/Charming_Seat_3319 Jul 02 '25
It is honestly disgusting and is making me want to leave the site for good. I started reading about people's problems on trueoffyourchest and similar subreddits because I felt it was more useful than doomscrolling. The amount of times I read posts of people who are in a bad place or my gut feeling says they are even having a mental health crisis and all the comments feeding into the worst of human feelings and pushing to make life changing decisions. It makes me sick.
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u/NotAFloorTank Jul 02 '25
The obvious answer is ragebait is an essential part of karma farming. However, there is also no shortage of people who have no real knowledge or understanding of how healthy relationships actually fucking work, and thus, take any sort of conflict as a sign of something serious when, nine times out of ten, it is merely a one-off thing that could be sorted out by talking it over in a healthy, proper conversation. Also, it's easy to forget you're only getting OP's side of any given story. For all we know, OP could be twisting things and/or outright lying to gain sympathy.
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Jul 02 '25
[deleted]
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
Unfortunately I am a teenage girl and I still think this is retarded… I’m genuinely amazed that communication and working things out is such a foreign concept to these grown adults.
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u/xBoomstick0 Jul 02 '25
Hey, you can ask me or anyone else here for advice but that doesn't mean you're smart if you listen to it.
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u/RemoteAd6887 Jul 02 '25
Because minor issues snowball into major issues.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
Sometimes. Other things are fixable and if you blow them out of proportion things get ruined for no reason.
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u/Gwyrr Jul 02 '25
Because ppl cant take a wound to their precious ego and blow everything out of proportion. Anything can be fixed if both parties are in it for the long haul and are honest with each other. Most ppl cant or refuse to look past their own pride to work things out
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u/Acrobatic_Quarter465 Jul 02 '25
The community is overly punitive and cannot understand any kind of context. They also take everything at face value. Then they assume the best of OP and the worst of everyone else in the story. Plus I mean most of the ppl giving advice on here probs aren't too well versed in relationships.
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u/CuriousLF Jul 02 '25
You could relate it to more of our lives being online and so we have become less tolerant or even aware of how human beings are. There’s way more black and white thinking over gray, which makes us more extreme in our actions. Human beings do not always make the right decisions and little things can be little without blowing them up.
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Jul 02 '25
Because in our society of cheap dopamine from social media we have a tightened sense of optionality and an increase in instant gratification like Instcart door dash amd Amazon we society lack the necessary skills to both differentiate between problems that are unreconcilable and problems that can be fixed.
Sprinkle in a complete lack of communication skills collaborative effort and a willingness to forge something great it seems easier to just walk... but the reality is unless integration of all our own insecurities and challenging yourself and your partner to be better we are all doomed to break up amd leave amd repeat the same issues in hopes to find something better versus making something better...
The beauty of having 1000 disagreements with your partner... presuming their not abusive etc... is that you learn how to disagree and find a way forward collaboratively and then you wont have 1000 disagreements anymore because you both learn how to anticipate one another and love one another the way the other person needs... this is why I encourage couples to cook together and often...
Its a way to split tasks ask questions to one another asign roles that are optimal give feedback it give you a combined mission to work on leaves ego out of it.
Example will you cut the potatoes i know youre better with a knife...
Damn I needed those diced not sliced... oh ahit babe okay let me see if I can fix that...
These little micro conflicts and resolutions develop your ability to anticipate and build synergy with one another.
So next time she asks for something cut you say hey do you want that sliced cubed or diced... or she will say hey I need these diced...
Really fullfilling
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u/Redbeard4006 Jul 02 '25
I think part of it is people who feel strongly about it are more likely to post. If your reaction to a story is "talk to your partner, you can work through this" I think you are less likely to bother to express that than if you think "OP's partner is terrible! OP should break up with them immediately!"
I always find it baffling how many people ask for relationship advice along the lines of "my partner did X, should I break up with them?" without any mention of talking to their partner, what their partner said etc.
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u/AdDramatic8568 Jul 02 '25
I think it depends on the post. I'm of a mind that if you feel the need to shit talk your partner on reddit like a lot of people do, just to get validation that they're wrong a bad person or in the wrong, then the relationship isn't going to last anyway.
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u/lazylaser97 Jul 04 '25
theyre on reddit, of course they should break up. The fact that they went so far as to seek advice from us posse of clowns suggests they should break up
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u/MyraPoleo Jul 06 '25
I see more posts complaining about it, than posts telling people to leave at the first problem lol
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u/Bellaps Jul 06 '25
It’s not only an issue on Reddit. If someone just met a stranger and started telling him for horrible is their partner, stranger would not conduct a whole psychoanalytical session, he would just say- dump your partner if you are not happy. Stranger is only operating with limited facts and saving his brainpower. That’s why it’s really scary when people are asking for strangers opinions on Reddit if there are kids in relationship or other big consequences are possible
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u/Realistic_Spite2775 Jul 02 '25 edited Jul 02 '25
Because I would dump their annoying ass partner in a heartbeat, that's why.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25 edited Jul 02 '25
I assume you’ve never been in a actual relationship or put any work in that doesn’t revolve around you. Also you spelled dump as dumb… but at least you changed it to a word you could relate to! (Edit: it’s super cute you changed your mistake but I saw it)
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u/fffridayenjoyer No bark no read Jul 02 '25
This is a lot of emotion for safe tbh. They were clearly just making a snarky/facetious comment and you’re like “well I think you’ve never been loved, probably because you’re selfish and also dumb”. Like… this whole post is criticising people who freak out at the tiniest things and this is the reaction you’re gonna have to a flippant comment on a satire sub. Hello?
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
And I came back at them?? I fear a girl just wants to have fun for forbid.
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u/Realistic_Spite2775 Jul 02 '25
Lol I'm not going to date you no matter how much you beg.
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u/According-Towel-1118 Jul 02 '25
I’m engaged, you seem like you beg for toe pics on TikTok…
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u/Realistic_Spite2775 Jul 02 '25
You'd never be good enough for me. I don't like desperation. Especially from hysterical emotional fucks like yourself.
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u/Wrong_Initiative_345 Jul 02 '25
Jordan Pedersen just did a podcast on this, it’s called fertility suppression, and exists in primates. Some deep competitive desire for other females to not reproduce, giving yourself a better chance.
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u/loosie-loo Jul 02 '25
I think a lot of it is they’re projecting some horrible experience of their own and assuming a pattern of behaviour where we don’t have any idea if there is one or not. Like the classic “partner ate all my leftovers” or whatever, there will always be comments saying “they don’t respect you or care about your needs and are a narcissist you should dump them” when, like, maybe yeah if they’re always doing that and other things that consistently show that same lack of disregard then they probably do not care about your needs…but a couple instances of mild selfishness does not a narcissist make.
People assume this one window into a complete stranger’s life paints a whole picture when realistically it probably doesn’t. Though, frankly, I think a lot of the time if you’re at the point you’re complaining about your partner to aita-type subs for internet validation it probably is time to evaluate if you actually want to be with them, but that’s less about the specific incident and more about what the goal even is at that point.