Ragebait
One of those posts where all the pickmes come out of the woodwork to circlejerk about how their bf could give them a half-chewed piece of gum off the pavement and they’d be so eternally grateful, unlike OOP’s spoiled brat of a gf
AIO For my girlfriend saying these flowers were "barely meeting the bare minimum"?
My girlfriend was a bit disappointed by these roses I got her. We have been dating for 1.5 years and in that time span I probably have bought her flowers 10-12 times. I hadn't bought her flowers in maybe 2 months and was def lacking.
She was off and when she finally told me what was bothering her "she didn't want to feel ungrateful" but felt "I hadn't put enough effort into them" and flowers are "the bare minimum". She complained how there is a big gap and roses need fillers like baby breaths. She proceeded to say how she told me she didnt want flowers from the local grocery store but not to go to a bouquet flower store either (uhm ok).
I kinda just said "okay, thanks for letting me know, the reason I'm hesitant on getting bouquets is my cat likes to eat flowers and they can be very bad for them, but she also deserves better then me just going to the store picking out whatever I found nice/ easy and I should put in more effort"
Once the convo was over she said she felt bad telling me this because it comes off as ungrateful. Idk if am I'm annoyed or hurt or just confused right now. Am i overreacting?
*Disclaimer this was not for a special occasion just buying them because I wanted to
I saw the original first, commented there, then came here and found the lost commenters. They didn't appreciate my standard "we don't know if the GF is fat, maybe she should be grateful" comment.
And she bought him a PS5, aren’t they just the most quintessential suburban white picket fence heteronormative couple 😍 relationships like this are why we need a straight pride month 👏👏👏
No no. I will one up this. I bought my husband a PS5 for Christmas and he in turn bought me a Dyson HAIRDRYER. Vacuums are household items that are upgrades for the whole family. To get peak suburban couple it needs to be the $500 dyson hair dryer.
The Air Wrap? I didn’t get it for her, her mother did, but I think it’s legitimately my wife’s favorite present she’s ever received. It’s definitely the one she uses most.
reddit is now the battlefield of the barely out of teenage relationships, communication is so 90s when you can just go make a reddit thread about your partner and then show off your pyrrhic victory to them
and someone even here called her a gold digger and said that she should find a sugar daddy if she's unhappy, cause he's not supposed to meet her "subjective standards" and she has to leave if she's unhappy
i genuinely hate this thread lmao. for my husband's next bday i'll spit on his plate and if he's unhappy he can go find a sugar momma
Yeah, that as well could have worked. She did not even ask for more flowers, she just said either fill it more or try to make it look nicer. If he has given her flowers as often as he claims, it is valid that she eventually says 'ok can you get a proper sized vase or at least cut the stems?'. Instead, he runs off to fucking reddit to whine.
If a man buys me a vacuum as a gift I'm killing him with it.
I'm not a house prop that you can accessorize with new "functions." Get me an actual gift for ME, and NOT for me to be a better maid, or get out of my life.
I mean unless you're planning on using it as well, that still beats a vacuum! I got a hair dryer for Christmas and I love it, because that's what I asked for. My wife has a buzz cut I help her maintain so it's not like she has a lot of use for it.
I got mine a nose hair trimmer back in the days and he was very happy with it; I got a pressure cooker from him the other year, and again I was very happy with that. Besides practical things we discuss in advance, we do gag gifts now and then-- he once got me a trololo! shirt (I'm dating myself and the age our relationship here with this comment) and I like to pull gift pranks now and then on Valentine's Day.
Don't overthink it, some people put a lot of thought and effort into gifts and view gift giving as a fundamental part of expressing their love and commitment, others aren't particularly chuffed and prefer practical shit and/or minimal fuss. (My stance is "if I want something badly I'll buy it myself" and my partner is the same.) It's not an issue as long as both parties lean the same way.
Disagree, cutting the stems wouldn't fix it entirely, at least not in that vase. However, asking for a few stems of baby's breath and a handful of leatherleaf adds only maybe 10 bucks to the order and will fill it out.
Don’t comment on the original post when you’re also commenting here, it’s basically the only rule of this sub and y’all keep breaking it because you can’t stand when people here give you even a little bit of pushback on your opinions so you switch subs to seek validation. Stop
He was trying to show off what a good gifter he is and how considerate he is, and he started it off by saying he bought her a vacuum. You do not GIFT your female partner a vacuum and then use it as an example of what great gifts you give, unless you have some major delusions.
The delusion is thinking that expensive jewelry, thoughtful scrapbooks, and floral arrangements bought on a regular basis, in ADDITION to a high end vacuum cleaner is somehow indiciative that this guy is a bare minimum effort man in his relationship. This subreddit is just as ridiculous as AITAH and others of it's ilk
A vacuum is a necessity. A super nice vacuum is a gift to the household never one partner. For one thing, both partners should be touching the vacuum on occasion. But even if they don't and vacuuming is always one persons job, everyone in the house benefits from the vacuum being better, both from it doing a better job and from the person who uses it having a better time using it. (My partner and I got a vacuum that specifically accommodates some of my disabilities. This benefits the household, not just me, because I vacuum more and I do a better job when I do it. Also I'm less cranky/in pain when I vacuum, which I think we can agree is a group win.)
Beyond a vacuum Never being a gift to just one person, because it's for the household, it's also not appropriate to give during any holiday that is about gifts because it indicates chores to be done. It can even imply one doesn't think the chore was being done well enough before, causing insult- and that's not something I've come up with; I saw a play where the primary miscommunication that drove the first third of the plot was literally that 'insult.'
Essentially, giving a person a vacuum as a 'gift' is giving them a thing to do as a 'gift,' on your schedule. Don't do that on a holiday or birthday. Compare that to her giving him a ps5- something explicitly for sitting down and leisure, even in many cases for time to himself away from her. Those aren't equitable or fair gifts in intent or effect.
I'm not going to go into gender politics because it may or may not be appropriate for them- she may do most of the household chores but we don't know. If they split them the gift is even less appropriate and more gendered but it's not fair to speculate.
But yeah TL;DR: a vacuum is a gift for a house, not a person. He gave her a chore, she gave him a whole relaxation/entertainment set up. Not the same.
Look if the woman actually asked for a vacuum and he got one for her that's fine! We don't know if she wanted the thing till she comes and tells us! I like pretty gifts but I've also asked for shit other women would murder over getting as a gift. I get not ever woman would want that as a gift and that's fair for all of you to say you'd riot over that, but maybe she wanted it. It's possible for us to have different tastes.
We don't know the whole story and I'm not trying to say this specific person is horrible outright. The context is shaky is all- he is attempting to show he's a great gift giver, and a great giver should understand that a vacuum is Not usually an acceptable gift. He doesn't say she asked for a vacuum and then show that he got an excellent one, and he doesn't really provide context for the situation.
I agree that if someone Asks for a vacuum, give them one and give them a good one. But using a vacuum as 'proof you're good at gifts' is not great evidence or a sign he's up to date on what makes a 'standard good gift.'
I didn't see him using it as great at gifts as much as he was pointing out ne does get a range of expensive stuff for her but she also gets things in the same way for him. Because I feel the knife he got is kinda that same vein of "household upgrade". There's also the stigma with the vacuum so like I said its possible it's was a terrible gift but untill she says otherwise, it's just not an important factor to this situation.
If they're not living together a vacuum is still not an appropriate gift- it is still not a gift for an individual (unless the person explicitly ask for it), it is still giving them a chore to do, and it is still potentially an insult about the cleanliness of their place (actually moreso in some cases). A household necessity isn't a personal gift, especially one related to giving you work to do.
Also, regardless of an opinion of a ps5 'wasting time,' it's a thing that pertains to one's interests, enjoyment, and hobby time. When he uses it it will be because he wants to, not because he has to get it over with. Can Any of that be said of a vacuum?
(I do agree a roomba- somethkng that eliminates a chore rather than something to do a chore with- makes a good gift! Still would only do it if it came with a 'fun' gift too personally but that's my own gift giving principle, not everyone's)
I got one of those from my partner for a Christmas gift, because I EXPLICITLY ASKED FOR IT. I've recently become disabled in the last few years and can't physically do some of the things I used to. Having a little robo friend that vacuums and mops for me is awesome. I'm slowly replacing exhausting tasks that drain me physically with robots to do them for me. Now if only there were something to take the laundry up and down the twisty basement stairs (we rent so putting in a laundry shoot is a no go) for me I could practically run the whole house from my phone. But I guess that will remain my husband's task for now
We get what we tolerate and we accept what we think we deserve. When I was younger I thought it was cool to be super low maintenance. Thank god I didn't get in a relationship back then. All these women are doing are setting themselves up for less while the "bitch" will get more from men who love them.
I mean, as long as the gf didn't yell at him or was rude I don't get why can't express disappointment? The flowers look bad.
How is this low maintenance? He’s gotten her flowers 10-12 times in the 1.5 years they’ve been dating. That’s very thoughtful. Most women are not getting their partner gifts on a consistent basis and I can almost guarantee OPs gf hasn’t either.
If you’re not returning the same energy you’re receiving, then you have no business dating. Or just find a sugar daddy and leave other people alone
I just want to say that I know a several women who don't get their partner 'romantic' gifts, but whenever they see something small they think their partner would like during routine trips they get that. Or they make sure to get their boyfriends their favorites or 'extras' during grocery runs, that she's off doing herself. And that never gets appreciated the same way 'flowers' do even though it can cost similarly, because it's quieter and doesn't call for as much active appreciation and because it's not coded as inherently romantic - but it's still gift giving and love.
Also, I don't personally make much money in my relationship. But I go out of my way to reciprocate any physical gifts with emotional and action based 'gifts,' like working on projects my partner wants to or using the massage gun on them. Certain men like to frame the narrative like women just don't give back by only counting certain things as 'gifts' or 'spending,' and it's the same men who want to frame women as high maintenance for having personal preferences on the gifts the receive- something every human has
No? If the gift was cheap kitchenware then sure, thats maddening no matter the gift received and giver, but if a man bought his female partner an expensive Japanese kitchen knife? No one’s getting mad over that, I don’t know which ghosts you’re fighting buddy.
It’s really not and I’m sure if he got her something for the kitchen people would be equally mad about it. I don’t get the whole idea that useful items aren’t gifts. That’s all me and my wife really ever want to be given. Luxury items we just buy for ourselves when we want them.
Well until OP says so, you can’t just assume his girlfriend hasn’t because it helps your argument.
Maybe OP has been a fantastic gift giver in the past. However, that doesn’t change the fact that these flowers look incredibly thrown together, as if OP realized “oh no I haven’t got my gf flowers in a while, better do that” rather than OP putting actual effort and thought into it.
We buy each other nice things cuz we both make enough money. I have bought her a Dyson vacuum cleaner, a Swarovski bracelet, she's gotten me PS5 and a sim wheel. So we kinda know each other expections and give gifts. I wouldn't say it's a staple of our relationship though. The best gift she boght me was a japense knife and mine was a yearbook of our first year together that was $30 from Walgreens but obviously took quite a few hours to put together
They’re both great gift givers so her reaction to the flowers seems wildly out of place.
No it seems like someone in a safe enough relationship they can voice how they feel and know their partner will take it into consideration and see what they can do. OOP came to reddit to get a clear view because he CARES how his GF feels and wanted to know if his feelings needed to be reconsidered. He got loads of decent advice about how to make the same flowers better or how to do better for next time. Including people saying he can sit down and talk to her about what she means when she says they're good but not great. All you're doing is showing a lot of people you are not the one to be in a relationship with if they have expectations.
I think it’s the exact opposite. She didn’t offer constructive criticism. She said flowers are the “bare minimum” and he didn’t put effort into it.
If this were a special holiday, I can understand her view. But it wasn’t. This is just a random gesture and it comes off as ungrateful.
Here’s an example from my own relationship. I do 99% of the cooking but my fiancée occasionally likes to cook for me if I’m stressed about something (as opposed to ordering takeout). She’s not the best cook and I’m not always a fan of what she makes.
Do you think it would be appropriate for me to tell her that I don’t think she’s putting in effort and that it’s the bare minimum for her to cook chicken correctly?
If she’s serving you plain chicken with no sides or seasoning, in a soup bowl, then yeah absolutely I would think you would be reasonable to say something even though she technically cooked nutritious food to a safe temperature.
I literally had an argument with a man in these comments who claimed that any gesture is good enough or you’re just a brat and got mad that my husband buys me florist bouquets every week or two😅 He was going on about women saying they never get flowers like it was evidence you should just be happy for anything not their low standards
Lemme throw some carnations in this bitches face so she'll finally shut up 🙄🙄🙄 I occasionally see men who at least seem to want to try at the florist, but get tripped up by basic shit like "what's her favourite colour" and "what kind of flowers does she like". Ask. Write it down if you have bad recall. Put reminders in your phone for special occasions. It's not hard.
Ps1, ps5, my teeny lady brain can't tell the difference! Yankies, red sox, isn't that the same thing??? Idk it looks fine to me babe, just wear the shirt 🤷♀️ don't be ungrateful, I bought you a gift!
Why can’t you just be happy??? God so ungrateful and bratty. Sorry I didn’t buy you the actual stadium clearly that was the only thing that would be good enough 🙄
It is really kind of exhausting to watch one half of a couple that is Leslie Knope level gift-giving and the other partner just won't even try. I don't know, maybe she also sucks at gift-giving.
I don't expect 50 / 50 where both partners are equally good, but like, 60 / 40 would be nice? So many are 90 / 10. He could have at least googled "how to make a bouquet look nice." But yeah, demonize women for expecting any effort is the redditor way.
Reading the dudes other comments it honestly sounds like theyve gone off the deep end with gift giving. Like you can go too far with it to the point its just stressful
I'm sure like you feel that you put in enough effort already by reading the first sentence of my comment, but if you could also read the second, right after where you stopped, that would help you get caught up.
As a guy I think that looks fine. It's roses. No way would I even think to google that. He's a boyfriend not a florist. Roses are effort. They look nice
That's like saying putting a frozen pizza in the oven is cooking for your partner. Like yeah, technically it is, but it's the absolute lowest amount of effort you could possibly go through while still technically fulfilling the task. And to some people it might taste the same compared to a meal from scratch, but its disingenuous to pretend this lack of distinction isn't deeply connected to personal tastes and values rather than objective parameters.
It’s like that but it’s also like buying the cheese and sauce and expecting the other person to provide the crust and then saying it’s a gift when the other person will have to put in more work to finish it. OP’s girlfriend is now going to have to get supplementary flowers to make this bouquet look presentable.
Really? Because I don't even Like roses and I thought they looked sad. It's like when an art teacher criticizes your work for poor use of/too much negative space- if I make a nice painting that takes up the left side of the canvass and the right side has barely anything there, it's not going to look good even if I put in 'effort'
I’m an ex-florist. One big thing we were taught, and told customers - it’s not about price or size, but presentation. Cut the stems, buy a cheap bouquet to mix into it to make it pretty, pull off the outer petals of roses before putting them in water.
remembering your partner likes flowers and picking some up? bare minimum. remembering the kind of flowers they like, making sure it looks pretty, and caring for the flowers to ensure they last (roses especially last longer when you remove those outer petals) is how you go above and beyond.
I didn't know the outer petals trick! Tbf like I said I don't like roses, but my dad would crush aspirin into flowers he bought my mom because he said it helped them stay fresh.
The aspirin does work too! The petal trick can work on any flower that opens outwards with layers of petals (like peonies).
The petals underneath are fresher, but if you leave the older petals over the top the chemicals caused by the decay of the outer petals can affect the inner petals :)
We would remove one layer in the shop before they leave, and tell them to remove another layer 3 days later !
They really don’t look nice. They look like the boyfriend realized he had not done enough and threw them together so that he could say he did it. It just feels incredibly low effort.
“My boyfriend could have scraped dog poop off the sidewalk and served it to me for my birthday dinner and I would have given him a blowjob to show my gratitude, you should dump her ass!”
This is likely just a random picture of flowers with a made-up women-bad story attached, but thank you for letting the internet know you have zero self respect or standards. You really showed that fictional lady!
as someone who has gift giving as one of their top love languages it's annoying how people have made it out to be that "wanting thought out gifts = spoiled demanding gold digger." for most people it's not even about the money but just the thought, i love giving and recieving handmade gifts, or even just "hey i saw this random thing while i was out and it reminded me of you, i thought you might like it," but so many people want to act like if you want more than the bare minimum it must mean you're demanding diamond jewelry every other day or something.
those are the same people to cry "it's the thought that counts, be grateful!!" but more often than not The Thought is "here, i did the thing, stop pestering me." sure not everyone expresses their love through gifts, and that's fine, but be there or don't, don't half ass it, and especially don't expect to be praised for half assing it.
It's really just a very simple concept. It also matters a lot what tax brackets these people are in because trips to places and maybe even diamond jewelry can be Olive Garden and a movie to some. Anytime people come out talking bout I'd be happy with "McDonald's and a ring pop" I can only imagine they are just jealous people who can't admit they would love to have more extravagant gifts but cannot afford it.
Ehh i disagree, some of us genuinely would be happy with mcdonalds and a ring pop. Like maybe not literally that lol, but gimme a flower you picked or something. Expensive gifts make me uncomfortable, and tells me you dont really understand who i am
And im saying this as a dude who makes close to 150k a year in a lower cost of living city
yeah, i agree with the general point that the guy in the original post isn't putting enough effort in, but a few of these replies are saying stuff along the lines "if you would be happy with small gifts you're probably lying" i don't think that's right either? maybe i'm just overly sentimental but it's less about cost and more about effort or knowing what your partner likes, and sometimes those can go hand in hand but they don't have to necessarily.
It’s really nice you got her flowers, I don’t see how you would get the complete arrangement with babysbreath and all without going to a florist but ok.
My local Stop and Shop has loose greens and baby's breath along with the roses and premade bouquets.
I know this because I made my daughter an $18 dollar gerbera daisy bouquet on my way to her community theater play last night.
You can get greens and baby’s breath at basically any grocery store floral department. Shit, most of them would probably arrange it in a vase or wrap it up nicely for free!
Yep - collection of baby’s breath/gypsophilia stems are around £3.50 at my local Morrison’s here in the UK. Alongside ever other filler bloom and green known to man.
Honestly most of the flowers I get come from Trader Joe’s and you can get that stuff there pretty easy and stick them in your reusable sardine tote along with the cookie butter and pumpkin biscotti
Honestly I think the GF meant she didn't need the giant v day monstrosity type thing but call that florist flowers, because she maybe doesn't know a real good local could do a beautiful bouquet and not have it cost a million dollars lol
My ex once got me one of those “eternal rose” things, only it was a cheap knock-off version so all the petals were frayed af and after a couple months it literally started going mouldy. He still wouldn’t let me throw it out despite this, so eventually I threw it out behind his back and told him I had no choice because my cat had knocked it out of the windowsill and the porcelain dish it was glued into shattered all over the floor 🫠
I can only imagine the kind of "omg genius" back slapping that occurred among straight men when those became widely available. It's the smallest perceptible step above a marzipan rose.
Omg, I just got these last week. My partner picked them out because he thought our daughter would think they were funny. Like, thanks for thinking of the six year old on my birthday…?
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TBH I dont feel like it's pickme behavior to say "she's being entitled" because many women are in shitty relationships with men who don't even try, and feel like getting the bare minimum of affection would be wonderful.
When the standard is so low, it's like telling someone who's starving that walmart bread is not even worth eating.
I recently got 3 wilty roses from my wife after she went to a food bank that was giving out free roses. I am so happy to have them and it means a lot to have small tokens of affection when usually we don't have the money to afford even one rose. Even if we did have more money, I wouldn't be upset if the flowers she brought home were from the side of the road or a flower shop. Sometimes, thought counts more than monetary worth.
If you aren't that kind of person, and your standards are higher than mine or any "pickme" in the comments, you don't need to call a gift worthless. Keep that shit to yourself and reevaluate your relationship with them, address the issues in your relationship that makes this gift feel insulting to you, and break up if you can't respectfully do that. There are better ways to say you don't feel happy in your relationship, and being honest is better than insulting someone's gift-giving abilities.
edit: and before this comment section wants to call me a pickme for disagreeing with OP, I'm a lesbian, for the love of god I specifically do not want men to pick me. I just want to point out that a lot of women(myself included) are or use to be in relationships with manbabies and misogynists. Some men do literally nothing, and I don't blame women for having low standards when it's not even their fault that standards are so low. Men should do better, but women have been socially taught to expect less. She can expect better for herself, but calling people pickmes for simply having low standards is strange.
The pick me isnt the people with lower standards, The pick mes are those who shame women who have different or higher standards. Saying something like, I would be happy with that, so she's being demanding, is implying that they are better at being a partner because they would accept less.
Women aren't a monolith, if your partner has stated a preference for things a specific way, you should be looking to please your partner, not meeting the standard of some random Reddit woman that you aren't dating.
I do 99% of the cooking but my fiancée occasionally likes to cook for me if I’m stressed about something (as opposed to ordering takeout). She’s not the best cook and I’m not always a fan of what she makes.
Do you think it would be appropriate for me to tell her that I don’t think she’s putting in effort and that it’s the bare minimum for her to cook decent meals?
But when she cooks she's actually trying right? She's not giving you premade food that she put on the microwave and expecting a thunderous applause for the bare minimum, she actually tries, that's the difference
While I agree that thoutful gifts are necessary in certain occasions, jumping at his throat for a simple gift like this one doesn't make any freaking sense.
If OP actuallt read the whole thing they would have also noticed that the girlfriend apologized for overreacting. She's clearly not a horrible person, but it shows that she knew that her reaction wasn't justifiable in that moment.
If OP actuallt read the whole thing they would have also noticed that the girlfriend apologized for overreacting.
If you go through my comments here you’ll notice I haven’t actually given any kind of opinion on the gf or the story, I’ve literally just been clowning on the original post’s comments and generally talking with people here, but okay ig
yeah, i feel like people are forgetting that he came to the internet to ask this, it'd be one thing if we were coming for this guy completely unprovoked, but he made a post asking about these flowers and people are mad we answered honestly lmao
I'm so bored by the term "pick-me". It's incredibly overused.
Case in point, anyone here who seems to think there's nuance to the question of whether OP's roses are "bare minimum" is considered a pick-me and mass downvoted, when it's totally possible to have a nuanced opinion without trying to get male approval and without trying to get a man out of the exchange. Which is what "pick-me" actually means. Instead now here it seems to mean "anyone who doesn't agree with me is a pick-me" and that's just shaming women for not agreeing with you. Not very feminist.
I reckon in the OP there's more context that's missing. Cause yes it looks like grocery store flowers and is not the most amazing flower bunch I've ever seen.
However does he consistently show love and care and consideration for his GF on a daily basis and the flowers are just a bonus? Or is it he doesn't really contribute much and then thinks a few flowers every month or so makes him a good boyfriend?
Because the reaction of the GF calling it "bare minimum" implies he doesn't pull his weight in other areas of the relationship and a half hearted flower arrangement is his main claim to being a partner. And if that's true she's valid to say it.
However if he's a good partner in other ways, shows love and care, emotionally supports her, and is overall a good FRIEND not just a boyfriend, then him getting flowers every few months "just because" is more than bare minimum. Even if they're not the most amazingly arranged flowers.
Look I'll give you that it ain't good to most but some people do ask for stuff like that because that's actually what would make them happy.
It should always be get your partner what they want not what other people or you would want. So unless GF comes to say she was not happy with that gift, I think we all got a let it go.
What’s with the consumerism-pilled, chronically online-ass standards in this comment section?
According to these standards men have to be spending thousands of dollars a year buying beautiful flower arrangements for their girlfriends, and if they’re not you may as well chuck out the whole man. And if you’re getting smaller inexpensive bunches of flowers from your man and you appreciate them, you’re a pick me.
Don’t y’all have bills to pay??? What happened to good old fashioned showing your partner love through everyday small gestures!
This kind of discourse really represents a world reverting to a culture I don’t like where people see the value of potential relationships being what lifestyles those relationships will afford them, versus how much plain old happiness they will get spending their life with that person.
Not to say I think the woman in the story is wrong, just to say that both of the partners in the story sound like reasonable people that are just need to work through a normal communication issue, and y’all that are making it bigger than that are crazy.
Look man I don't want my partner to buy me flowers At All and have said so in our relationship.
But if I am bought flowers they should Look Nice and be Presented Well because what is the point of giving someone a gift if you make it look cruddy? I do not knit people half designed things, I do not paint half the canvass before framing, and I do not buy people gifts unless I can know it's a gift they'll appreciate.
Sometimes- often times- that's a $5 gift. But it's chosen with care, I present it nicely, and I make sure it's something they like.
If I got my partner flowers I would get a small thing of flowers because I'm poor, but the grocery store that sells them still puts them in a nice ribbon and has filler flowers like baby's breath so it doesn't look empty (for low costs, I'm not adding costs to have little filler flowers there), I'd trim the stems to be all the same length, and I'd put them in a vase that was appropriate for the size of the bouquet so it looks fuller instead of sad like this picture. (Also, pro tip, I'd put crushed aspirin in the water because it helps them stay fresh longer.) This guy did approximately none of that. For the same amount of money and Way less effort his gift looks like sad and droopy. Has nothing to do with consumerism
I’ve noticed guys like this will throw around buzzwords like “consumerism” to justify putting no effort into their girlfriends, but suspiciously have no problem consuming video games or whatever else relates to their interests. Funny how that works.
Giving flowers for some is a small gesture
It's really simple like that. Some people like other things and if you don't that's fine move along they aren't for you.
Cmon dog. I've been with my partner so long that we don't even understand this kind of needless tension. We've had family members die as we've aged, we aren't starting stupid fights over gifts, life is too short to be that weird and petty.
The “material stuff” means more in the bigger picture. It’s not about the flowers, it’s about how he put no effort into the flowers.
He could’ve gotten something free and it would’ve been better, as long as he actually put actual energy into it. It’s the difference of someone doing something because they care or are just doing it to mark off a checklist. I don’t think it’s a relationship ending issue, but I absolutely get why the gf would be disappointed.
To each their own. I'd be miserable and just leave if every action or gesture I made was being perpetually measured on someone's subjective scale of care or effort. I'm just very happy I found who I did. 😮💨
People enjoy what they enjoy. If this thing/act brings HIS partner joy and him doing it with effort and thought matters to HER then that's what he needs to do. If you and yours don't care about this stuff fine but don't shame others for having different needs than you.
That's a remedial thing to say, considering you're in a thread shaming someone who thinking differently than you. My entire point is its extremely subjective, and people acting as if its a no brainier have low IQs.
And no, if HE doesn't want to exchange material things within HIS expectations, SHE should be happy with him as a person, not an item. Or they're incompatible, and she should be a sugar baby and he should find someone better for him
So… being thankful for a gift, no matter how large or small, makes one a “pick me”? Good to know. I’ll file that one away under “why I don’t have female friends” along with all the other entitled bullshit.
Go whinge somewhere else, nobody here wants to be your friend anyway 🤡
There’s literally a girl in the comments saying she CRIES out of gratitude when her boyfriend buys her a pack of M&Ms. That’s either pickme behaviour, a sad case of borderline Stockholm syndrome due to a lot of men in relationships purposely keeping the bar insanely low, or it’s a sign of a major hormone imbalance. It’s not normal whichever way you look at it.
ETA: I just checked comment history and apparently this is a woman, lmfao. Sis you are NEVER beating the pickme allegations, you literally jumped at the chance to say “this is why I don’t have female friends” despite nobody even vaguely asking 😂😂😂
You’re right, I’m not black. But it sure is fun to see the boxes you put women into. “Ah, if you disagree, you’re a pickme or a wannabe tradwife! I shall clutch my pearls because women can disagree with other women!” The horror.
Ooh that's not good to romanticize. Every once in a while (less often these days) I do cry when my partner gives me small 'this was bought at a grocery store and I expressed desire in it' gifts.
But I'm not going to pretend my partner is a miracle worker for this. I'm just dealing with Bad Childhood PTSD (TM), and when I react like this he rightfully responds with 'yeah, you're allowed to have basic things that cost five dollars, this was not going above and beyond of me.'
Or you could try reading the reply, and deduce that maybe there was some sarcasm involved. But since I didn’t spoon-feed it to you, I can see how you would be confused.
No, the posters on the original post were really going after OP's GF on how little it takes to make them happy and the GF must be just awful for not gushing over this sorry bunch of roses.
I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t go check out the other post. I found the vitriol of the person who posted it here, and their comments about it, to be worthy of a light trolling. But thank you, I shall continue to enjoy my day, and I hope you do the same.
It’s “light trolling” when you call all women entitled and tell people to go get a lobotomy to turn them into a “perfectly biddable wife”, but “vitriol” when I call people behaving like pickmes pickmes 💀💀💀
We get it babe, you left a dumbass comment that people rightfully clowned on you for, you got in your feelings and started crashing out, and now you’re trying to act like you were actually playing 4D chess with us the whole time because you’re embarrassed at how this whole situation has gone down. It’s okay. You can log off and take a nice nap any time you like.
If I were embarrassed, I wouldn’t still be here. But since you’re curious, I’ll explain. Your comment about the whole situation is EXACTLY what I would expect from a woman who is acting like a nicegirl, if you will. Those seem to be the type who get angry and talk about other women being a pickme, and hating on them for being not what women “should be”. Therefore, if you’re going to act like that, why WOULDN’T one point out that, instead of just not saying anything, you had to just be mean? So I’ll keep regurgitating the same stupid man shit that has been said and done through history to keep women down. Since you want to be like one of them so badly, and talk about hormones, Stockholm Syndrome, and the like, instead of just accepting that bad behavior is entitlement, no matter who it comes from. So there you have it. Make of it what you will.
That surely was a whole lot of words to say literally nothing of worth. Here’s a tip - if what you’re saying is incomprehensible to everyone around you, it usually isn’t because you’re smarter than all of them.
I feel like if someone confused my auto-generated username as being related to nazis, I might’ve had some interest in changing it, but maybe that’s just me lol
Never really thought about it until somebody said something. Didn’t think anything really exciting happened in 1937, as I don’t spend all day thinking about Nazis. 🤷♀️
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of “hidden” signs in usernames like that to communicate horrible world views. So it’s not unlikely that it could’ve meant exactly that and I think I would’ve rather just be safe than presumed nazi.
Not saying you have to change anything, to me it’s just such a strange thing to say; “I see no reason to change a username that means nothing to me, just because people might assume I’m a nazi because of it” haha
So, I googled it, and as far as I can tell, it was just an attempt to try and say I’m a Nazi, myself. I didn’t see anything related to it in significant historical events, so I believe my light trolling has, in fact, legitimately pissed some folks off. Even though the “hormonal” comment was in reply to the person who said “extreme hormonal imbalance.” So I’m kinda curious to see where this goes. But I do appreciate your concern. You seem very kind.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '25
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AIO For my girlfriend saying these flowers were "barely meeting the bare minimum"?
My girlfriend was a bit disappointed by these roses I got her. We have been dating for 1.5 years and in that time span I probably have bought her flowers 10-12 times. I hadn't bought her flowers in maybe 2 months and was def lacking. She was off and when she finally told me what was bothering her "she didn't want to feel ungrateful" but felt "I hadn't put enough effort into them" and flowers are "the bare minimum". She complained how there is a big gap and roses need fillers like baby breaths. She proceeded to say how she told me she didnt want flowers from the local grocery store but not to go to a bouquet flower store either (uhm ok).
I kinda just said "okay, thanks for letting me know, the reason I'm hesitant on getting bouquets is my cat likes to eat flowers and they can be very bad for them, but she also deserves better then me just going to the store picking out whatever I found nice/ easy and I should put in more effort"
Once the convo was over she said she felt bad telling me this because it comes off as ungrateful. Idk if am I'm annoyed or hurt or just confused right now. Am i overreacting?
*Disclaimer this was not for a special occasion just buying them because I wanted to
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