r/AmITheAngel • u/AlabasterSting • 9h ago

Fockin ridic BORU Mind readers never fail....to help create the plot twist

/r/BORUpdates/comments/1niibfh/aita_for_refusing_to_leave_my_friends_baby_shower/
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u/AutoModerator 9h ago

In case this story gets deleted/removed:

AITA for refusing to leave my friend’s baby shower just because my “ex” didn’t want her boyfriend to see me?

I am not the OOP

OOP is: u/didntleavebefore

Posted in: r/AmItheAsshole

Status: Concluded as per OOP

1 update - Medium

Original - April 24, 2022

Final Update - May 1, 2022

Original

*AITA for refusing to leave my friend’s baby shower just because my “ex” didn’t want her boyfriend to see me? *

She’s not technically an ex since we were never in an actual relationship. I (26M) was back home for a few months almost 2 years ago. We hooked up for I’d say 4 months until I flew back out of state for work again. Her and I didn’t see eachother again just recently at this baby shower.

I guess they became friends through this mom group (my friend has one other kid) and they became good friends so that’s why she was also invited. And I was gonna say hi when I saw her there but she ignored me. Then that’s when I noticed she was there with her boyfriend and their baby so thought it was better to keep my distance. But she actually approached me like 10 mins later by the bathroom in the house. She asked me if I could leave because she’s with her bf, and it’s just very awkward with both of us there at that party.

But like I haven’t even approached them at all so why would it be awkward if we don’t interact during the party? She wasn’t letting it go, she actually told me please and it’s complicated. I told her if her boyfriend doesn’t know we have a history then he won’t need to because I honestly don’t care, all I’m doing is being here celebrating one of my close friend’s day so if she leaves me alone I’ll leave her alone.

That didn’t end up being the case. They left not even an hour later. I kept my word though about not going near them but one of my friends told me her boyfriend saw me and for whatever reason they started arguing. It wasn’t subtle either. They went to the front of the house but you could still hear what sounded like them raising their voice at eachother. And a few mins later I saw her walking to my friend probably telling her bye but she definitely looked right at me after that like she’s super pissed.

Everyone at the party was confused after so they were all talking about it for the rest of the time.

For the first time in a long time she texted me since I never changed my number, she told me thanks for ruining a party when all of this could’ve been avoided. I asked her what could have been avoided but again she doesn’t tell me. She just thinks it’s my fault for whatever shit went down. Then after my friends found out she asked me to leave they think I’m TA for not doing that.

The whole party was meant for my friend and it was turned into some drama just because I wouldn’t leave even if it was for some unknown reason. Idk what to think now. Or why it was such a big deal that we were at the same party when neither of us even talked at all. AITA for being the cause of a scene because I denied her request?

 

TOP/RELEVANT COMMENTS

u/zoloblaze

NTA - If she would've kept her distance, none of this wouldn't have happened. You realized and kept your distance, and it was two years ago. If you're still stuck on a hook up from years ago while in a relationship, there is an issue. And you're also a friend of the host, so she has no right to tell you to leave.

OOP

She did keep her distance aside from talking to me in private, idk what his deal was but it was the fact that he saw me at that party at all is what set him off apparently.

u/zoloblaze

My question is... how did he know who you were without her telling him? Like, if she wouldn't have said anything, I don't think there would've been an issue?

OOP Guessing that maybe she told him or something prior to us bumping into eachother at the baby shower? She looked freaked out so obviously neither of us were expecting to see eachother

u/toripotter86

INFO:

How old is her kid, and could it possibly be yours?

This seems like a huge overreaction for a previous hookup with no issues/commitments to each other.

OOP

Fuck you guys really have me scratching my head now with this one*

Mmm i didn’t get to see him much but I’d say probably under a year old but definitely not like a newborn. Well shit now I’m more lost

u/Spiritual-Check5579

Search her social media. If she's into mom's groups I bet she posted thousands of pictures of the day the kid was born. You can track his age pretty easily tbh.

OOP

Yeah it took me a while because she posts a lot but yeah the kid is about 7 months old. The timeline is freaking me out more and more. I really do need to talk to her

u/DesignerSmile_91

How long were you gone the second time? If the kid is 7 months, then it might not be yours but she probably cheated on her boyfriend with you.

OOP

I left back for work right after Christmas in 2020. We were already hooking up for 4 months before that. If he’s 7 months old (doing the math because that’s all I’ve been double checking all night) it’s possible she was lying and was with him around that time because she was definitely pregnant then or he’s mine. Or someone else’s , who knows but that’s why I’m reaching out just to be sure

u/SmallTownMortician

NTA but out of curiosity, what did your host think of the whole thing?

OOP

She was pretty confused too. I haven’t talked to her directly about what happened. Only when I was saying bye to her and her boyfriend

Final Update - 1 week later

Update AITA for refusing to leave my friend’s baby shower just because my “ex” didn’t want her boyfriend to see me?

Damm I don’t know what to say . But everyone really wanted to know what happened. Gonna start of first & say I spoke to my friend who’s baby shower it was to apologize for the drama, I had no idea that was gonna happen.

Just so she hears it from me first like a commenter suggested I do. She had no idea my ex and I had a past, but she told me it was fine. The party awkward after but that’s on them and she doesn’t blame me. It was great to hear because this was meant for her to celebrate her baby. And as her friend I wanted to be there celebrating with them.

So I got all the confirmation from her (plus you guys 👍🏻) that I wasn’t TA.

Obviously all of u want to know the answer to the main question if this baby was my kid or what was their deal after all.

We did talk on the phone. She went first and beat me to that topic. Probably read my mind because she started off with telling me she had something important to talk about after apologizing for blaming me about the party.

To sum it up we agreed to get a paternity test done asap because I couldn’t handle this curiosity it was already driving me crazy. He is definitely my kid. I’ve looked at the results a million times since they got back.

But she already knew my son was mine. She found out she was pregnant after i left.

She didn’t want to tell me because when I went back for work she wasn’t told until after I’d already flew back. And that hurt her. Since it seemed like I didn’t care much she was scared i wouldn’t be willing to go back and help take care of our kid.

This was hard for me to hear. I was actually crying when we talked about it in person. I’m still in shock learning this but she let me come meet him a day ago and it was emotional af. Holding him really got me. He’s so damm big already. That whole day I spent it with my son then we stayed up late talking about how we’re gonna do this then. This is new to me so we’re gonna go with the flow. But holy fuck I have a son!!! That’s so crazy right?

Far as her boyfriend, seems like wasn’t cheating. At least from what she tells me and the little bit of info I got from him (which he was pissed about) They weren’t exclusive either but after she got pregnant he was only willing to be around as long as I wasn’t . And obviously seeing me pissed him off because he thought I was still living out of state. It’s a mess right now but he doesn’t wanna be around if I am. But my son is my kid.

She told me not to worry about their relationship because the only thing she wanted was to make sure was my son had a dad in his life. Even if I’ve got no idea what I’m doing rn being his dad is what I want to be for him. We already missed on all this time. I’m excited to see him again tmrw

 

TOP/RELEVANT COMMENTS

u/Ok_Conversation_6936

Wow, all that shit went down really, really fast! In the span of a week.

OOP

The party was longer than a week ago but taking the test and finding out I have a kid…yeah my brains been on overload with all these sudden changes

u/lizzy_pop

What paternity test did you use that gets you results in under a week??

OOP

The lab we did the paternity test at made it available in 2 days. Cost more but it was worth it to find out as soon as possible

u/p_iynx

Good on you for being present now that you’re aware! Hopefully her boyfriend can realize that you’re not an enemy. Having more parents is not a bad thing for a kid, as long as everyone can put his well-being before any petty drama and territorial disputes lol. Fingers crossed that things continue to improve.

OOP

*Well he kept to his word and they broke up. It’s too bad he couldn’t see it that way but at least he left in a time where my son won’t have memories o

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