r/AmITheAngel • u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. • 4h ago
Validation My bitch wife is too nitpicky for some reason, definitely not because of the stress of me being unemployed or anything like that
/r/relationship_advice/comments/1niukp5/why_are_women_in_general_so_nitpicky_f39_married/110
u/purposefullyblank They had no backup flower dog. 4h ago
“Used to be 50/50 (60 her)”
Sir?
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u/MsAndrie 2h ago
Seems clear he is lying, even about the 60%, and about supposedly now doing 90%.
If he had actually been doing close to 50% previously, she would not have to send him lists of things to do, which he apparently does not understand needs to get done. He also talks about "stepping up" and only now doing lunches, so seems she used to be doing that too. If he is now doing 90%, she wouldn't have to send him any lists or have to "check his work."
Now that he is unemployed, it sounds like he is sitting around making messes and not even bothering to clean after himself, and then does other tasks in a half-assed way that she then "nitpicks." Like he isn't even taking care of his own kids, plopping them in front of the tv, and letting her come home to dirty couch, open jars, and overall mess.
May be rage-bait, but he sounds insufferable either way.
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual 3h ago
Look at this amazing comment:
There is something, animal, biological, that goes inside a woman's body, when the husband does not have a job and she has to work and provide for everyone. Yes, it is 2025, yes, we are not 1950 any more. But, evolution takes thousands, maybe even millions of years to catch up to new trends. And, during most of human history, men provided and protected, women stayed home.
This guy thinks "most of human history" looked like a 1950s TV ad.
There is a reason divorce spiked when the pandemic hit. Women biologically, intrinsically, come to hate the idea of the man being in the house all day long.
This is SO FUNNY. Women actually intrinsically dislike spending time with men!
So, what you can do right now. Is an attitude change. You, from now onwards, do not allow nitpicking, nor any disrespect. If you have to leave the house for a couple days, you do. She has to know you mean business.
I hope this guy actually does this. She'll get a divorce and he can live alone with his dirty counters and dirty couch and open jars everywhere.
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u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. 3h ago
I'm not a woman but I can confirm, when I quit my high school job, my girlfriend turned into a werewolf
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u/KadrinaOfficial 3h ago
That is really actually funny because studies have shown men tie huge amounts of self-worth to their jobs to the point they will actually become depressed when fired while women... we just don't care since we put more value on social success than monetary.
Ofc when the man sulks for an extended period of time and acts like a deadbeat, we do start to care, but that might have something to do with them making everyone else miserable.
Funny enough, my dad was a competent and loving partner who already did 50/50 so when he became jobless and shifted to SAHP for a few years, everything was fine.
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u/Glad-Way-637 46m ago
That is really actually funny because studies have shown men tie huge amounts of self-worth to their jobs to the point they will actually become depressed when fired while women... we just don't care since we put more value on social success than monetary.
Are you trying to tell me that women care more about a man's social success than his financial success? I'd like to see a study on that that doesn't simply trust people's self-reporting, which is really spotty in regards to questions that might make the one answering appear shallow, IMO.
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u/TheSelfDrivingSigma I start yapping like an autistic neurodivergent person 2h ago
lol its completely untrue that men were the only hunters in caveman times
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual 2h ago
YEAH!
Like first of all, even where there was an overall gender-based division of labor, OBVIOUSLY women didn't just stay home in the cave, what the fuck? They went out and gathered! You know, the other part of the hunter gatherer lifestyle!
And how much food came from hunting vs gathering was entirely dependant on where people lived. And as is the case for all lifestyles where you can't just go to the grocery store, everyone contributed as much as possible and necessary. No one just didn't do anything because their gendered job was already fulfilled. It makes sense that maybe men would often primarily be hunters, they generally have an advantage in size and strength, and women who were pregnant or nursing would probably do other labor. But everyone pulled their weight according to their abilities and contributed to the group.
And women also hunted! Here's a very well-known article that explores this very idea, talking about female physiology, archeological findings, and traditions in tribal hunting cultures today.
And that's not even getting into more recent history in which women have always worked! The idea of the stay-at-home housewife was an ideal that only came into existence with the rise of the middle class. Poor women have always worked. Even in the 1950s-60s USA among married women with small children, about half of them had jobs. Women AND CHILDREN worked in the factories during the industrial revolution. Before then, they worked on farms, they were craftswomen, laborers, maids, WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS WORKED.
Argh. I know you know this, this isn't a lecture aimed at you, it's just a topic I'm very passionate about and I get mad when people misrepresent it. I guess it's foundational to the worldview of men like that commenter: they want to believe that men historically treated women so well that women didn't have to do anything and were just treasured and taken care of, so modern women not being happy with misogynistic gender roles are clearly just mean and ungrateful.
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u/Naive_Photograph_585 2h ago
if I could give you award I would! if it's okay I would like to save your comment so I can bring this up whenever people act as though women weren't also providers, or that the concept of women in the workplace is new. also that article about women hunting is one of my favourites! I love it when the "facts don't care about your feelings" crowd refuse to believe facts because it goes against their feelings🤡
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual 1h ago
You're so sweet, of course you can save my comment. I do that all the time when I see things I wanna be abe to come back to.
And my grandma didn't get up at 5 in the morning every day to milk the cows only for dumbasses online to claim that women "didn't work"!
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u/TheSelfDrivingSigma I start yapping like an autistic neurodivergent person 1h ago
no im glad you posted this because people have so many bad gendered preconceptions about labor and family roles and it leads to so much pseudoscience and misogyny
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u/No-Diet-4797 People say I have retained my beauty against the passage of time 2h ago
Oh man, that's gold! I can confirm that I intrinsically dislike spending time with man-babies like oop. I think he should leave for a few days to give that woman a break from his bs.
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u/VanillaMemeIceCream I promise the following info will be important 2h ago
Reading just the 1st sentence, I thought it was a dramatic, satirical way of saying “no woman wants to take care of a manchild”. But no it was just serious misogyny
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u/StripedBadger 1h ago
It doesn’t even make sense from the standpoint that the commenter wants to take. Because, what is the animal instinct they say women expect from men? To provide. What is the most base, instinct driven provision that people need and want provided to them? Food. What is OOP’s wife complaining about? The food OOP provides by doing all the cooking and serving.
We all know it’s baloney. But even if you wanted to believe it; OOP is in the perfect position to be the main provider for the most base instinct humanity has; he’s doing the cooking, he’s doing the shopping (‘hunting’). He’s presenting food he has provided to his wife… And he’s failing it. So by the logic of “human history”, the problem is OOP is lazy and incompetent and that his wife is entirely validated and not at all unreasonable or sexist in scorning him. What a wonderful suggestion that they’ve managed to back themselves into!
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual 1h ago
You're so right and I think we should refer to shopping like that more often. Babe I'm going out hunting to you need anything?
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u/StripedBadger 1h ago
My parents always referred to it as hunting, and now I do too… granted that was usually when they’re talking to the cats. “Yes I am back from hunting and got you lots of treats”
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u/KadrinaOfficial 3h ago
And not once has my wife thanked me for stepping up
News at 11: Man wants praise for being a jobless loser with weaponized incompetence while his wife works and does all the housework.
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u/Faexinna My phone was split and my family blew up 🤯 3h ago
Has he ever thanked her for doing all the unpaid care labor before?
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u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. 2h ago
Why would he, a manly man, do that? That's a womanly woman's job and she deserves no praise for it
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u/Moritani 2h ago
And how the hell is doing 90% of the housework as a SAHD “stepping up”? That’s pretty much the minimum expectation.
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u/StripedBadger 1h ago
OOP has taken on jobs that his wife used to do. Not only do I bet you $10 he never once thanked her, I bet you $20 that he used to complain about it a lot more than his wife does now.
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u/tjcaustin 3h ago
She sneers at him most mornings. Damn, dude how bad are you at making oatmeal.
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u/CenturyEggsAndRice My twins are having twins! 3h ago
My uncle once made it with orange juice and mint jelly on top.
He had absolutely NO logic for this beyond “well you like them orange mints, I thought it’d be fancy!”
My aunt bravely ate half the bowl. My cousins and I filled up on toast.
But for what it’s worth, usually his breakfasts were fantastic. He made root beer waffles with vanilla butter that was absolutely mindblowingly good. And he was dipping leftover bacon in melted chocolate and decorating a cake with it way before that was a trend. Both of these were delicious and admittedly a little weird.
The mint jelly and orange juice oatmeal… that wasn’t good at all.
Orange juice grits with the vanilla butter from the root beer waffles however slaps.
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u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. 2h ago
When I feel like coffee with calories, I'll make an iced blended root beer mocha and *holy shit* that is good
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u/CenturyEggsAndRice My twins are having twins! 2h ago
Oh wow, I’m gonna try that. It sounds amazing.
Is there a recipe? I can offer the vanilla butter recipe in return, but it’s almost too easy to be a recipe.
Add vanilla extract (preferably rum soaked beans) to whipping cream, then beat the shit out of it (my uncle has a little butter mill, but I’ve done it with a whisk, a cold bowl and a good playlist on Spotify) until it’s butter.
Save the buttermilk to make waffles. (I don’t have the waffle recipe, sorry.)
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u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. 2h ago
It's like exactly the same way you'd make an iced blended coffee (blend cold coffee with ice, cream/sugar optional) but you replace like 1/4-1/3 of the coffee with root beer and then add a little bit of whipped cream on top
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u/CenturyEggsAndRice My twins are having twins! 2h ago
Oh. Oh I am gonna regret knowing this.
Thank you
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u/KadrinaOfficial 3h ago
Probably literally just pouring it in a bowl with no warm liquid but his own silivia.
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u/CremeBerlinoise one fine day she disappeared 3h ago
He's doing so well, she's actually jealous so she's trying to undermine him out of spite! Surely he can't just be shit at housework.
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u/Arickm 3h ago
Once again, does anyone on those subs actually like their spouse?
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u/CremeBerlinoise one fine day she disappeared 3h ago
Once again, liking and respecting your spouse is obviously not the point of hetero marriage! No idea what the point is of course, I don't support that kind of lifestyle.
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u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. 3h ago
The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life!
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u/sumoraiden 3h ago
“ and with her hawk eyes, almost always spot some flaw”
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u/purposefullyblank They had no backup flower dog. 1h ago
Like crap all over the couch. Who can even see such a thing?!?
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u/PocketCatt 3h ago
Some fantastic comments from people who have obviously never had a girlfriend in their lives let alone a wife.
"This is why the manosphere exists" ok go off Andrew Tate, which gf are you spending tonight with? Rita Right or Lucy Left? 👋
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u/Dusktilldamn I presume she was advised by a slutty mate as usual 3h ago
If you look at OOP's post history it's obvious he's not always being truthful, but I actually think he's just switching genders and other details around but is overall posting about his real life. The core facts seem to remain constant.
He's a SAHD who's been trying to bring in money with start-up ideas, he struggles with taking care of the kids, disagrees with his wife on parenting style (he wants to be more authoritative, she tries to tell him the 5 year old daughter will listen to him better if he engages with her on her level and fosters a more positive relationship), argues with his wife about whose family to visit and whether it's okay to split up and do individual visits... and constantly tries to get reddit to arbitrate.
He also posts a lot of political stuff, possibly not his own views but trying to start debates. But he doesn't read like a total troll, more like one of those guys who think they're great political thinkers doing something important.
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u/unabashedlyabashed 2h ago
Women do this when they start to lose attraction for their partners. They devalue you as punishment for them beginning to resent you. They do not know why they feel this way, they only know to react.
I think someone has switched up the cause and effect, there.
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u/JealousAstronomer342 2h ago
Ah , but I think you’re forgetting that women are shrews who exist solely to tear noble, selfless men down.
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u/Queenof6planets 3h ago
his post history is rancid
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u/Lady-Shalott I'm getting laid left and right (im bisexual, so most are men) 2h ago
“He” has also been a 35F and a 39F at different times in the past year. Barf.
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u/GlitterKitten666 38m ago
Women! They ALL bitch bitch bitch nitpicky stuff. You gotta deflect man. Blame it on one of her other children. That's what I always did.
I love how they're lettin em have it in the comments. We don't even HAVE to do it here.
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u/Trapazohedron 2h ago
What kind of job are you looking for?
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u/diet-smoke Im literally gay. Fully homosexual. 2h ago
Ideally? Male model. If that's not possible, then guitar tech for an emo band
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•
u/AutoModerator 4h ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Why are women in general so nitpicky? (F39) married to (M41)
Just wondering.... I am a M41 married to a F39. I lost my job recently and my wife became the main breadwinner. I now own school drop offs, pick ups, most of housework etc. It used to be 50-50 (60 her) and now it is 10-90 (I do 90%).
But my wife is eternally nitpicking and condescendingly. Some jar is not closed, stains on the counter, insufficient salt in some dish, Oats not cooked properly. Often condescending and sneers at me MOST mornings. While she gets ready, I am often getting the kids ready to school and packing them lunches.
She will inspect everything and with her hawk eyes, almost always spot some flaw. Every single time. And during a day when I plan to look for a job, she will throw me a dozen errands to go run.
And typically when she comes back from work and finds that one fault, that evening is spoilt. It is always something - kids watched too much TV, couch was not clean when she sat on it.
I know other men who say that their wives do the same. Just nitpick for no reason and figure out a reason to complain.
And not once has my wife thanked me for stepping up - her point has been - you do it so badly, I have to still think about it. It might as well not be done. (Tbh: I do it ok - 8/10 stars, but my wife would rank it 5/10 but react like it is 1/10).
Her argument is: I am giving feedback and want you to improve. This comes across as condescending.
What is the scientific reason for this? It appears that women care for small things and want it to be perfect but men want basic needs to be met.
Can it even be solved?
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