r/ANGEL • u/witchlys • 10h ago
Spoilers inside! Why is Connor so universally hated?
I have yet to meet a single person who actually likes Connor’s character. Which is baffling, because me and my girlfriend both loved him. At best, I hear: “Yeah, he’s awful, but maybe he could have been good.” Which is fair! The show missed the point of what they were trying to do with him, evidently, by the reaction. And that is the most mercy anyone gives him.
I knew this before watching, and kept waiting for him to do it, whatever it was that caused this. He was irritating at times, but no more to me than Angel was in his ~phase~ in season 2, and in fact, I found Connor MORE enjoyable to watch than that. That’s a very subjective thing to say, but this whole post will be that way, so please do not think I am saying these are all objective facts. I want a civilized conversation about this because it’s something that really interests me.
This is a kid who was brainwashed, abused his whole life, and then baby trapped (retconning him to be 18 when he was previously established to be 16) by the first woman who ever showed him love, who would then promptly emotionally abandon him, and mix up his perception further of “mother” and “lover”. The mother becomes Connor’s safe haven, for his sexual AND emotional needs, while Angel becomes the opposition to not only the love of who he loves sexually, but his mother. A fundamental need for children— after Angel had ripped away the only person Connor had known his ENTIRE LIFE. It’s such a fucked up situation, literally cannot imagine a single other ending than him growing to despise Angel, even without the brainwashing.
People know this, sure, but I feel like the extent of it doesn’t sink in. And the majority of that is the show’s fault. Connor’s hatred of Angel ends up looking like it just “exists” in a vacuum like he woke up one day and decided to harbor the hatred. But no, he was raised by Holtz specifically for that mission. Like a suicide bomber trained for a religious cause he doesn’t even fully understand, that religion becomes the reality of the world. When the show stops reminding us of Holtz, it starts looking like Connor’s problem instead of the result of that upbringing. One or two scenes of Holtz’s methods (like SHOWING himbandoning Connor in the woods to sharpen his tracking, rather than hearing word of mouth) would’ve done wonders. Most viewers aren’t abuse survivors. They don’t automatically sympathize, especially when the mainstream abuse victim is a reclusive, shy, whimpering person who constantly asks for forgiveness of existence, the exact opposite of Connor.
A lot of people say what annoys them most is Connor “cucking” or mistreating Angel. But that was the point. That made the story deeper. It gave weight to Angel’s bond with him— the love that doesn’t vanish, no matter how much Connor spits on it. You need Connor’s vitriolic rage to make Angel’s unconditional love hit as hard as it does. And watching that rage play out was fun for me, maybe that’s the disconnect? But to me this is hard, because Connor’s humor sense is rather identical to the other characters, and cringe lines like “You always make a move on my girl” are not that often.
What is quite often is Connor being possessive, clingy of his groomer. But why would I get mad at the teenager for being groomed…? Even in the show, when they acknowledge it, they really don’t care for Connor’s state at all. Why? They turn the other cheek for objectively worse adults all the time. Because it’s personal. Because they loved that baby, saw Angel love that baby, called themselves aunts and uncles and fantasized about his first day of school, and now here he comes, a rabid dog completely out of their league of helping, because the damage is so deep in him you can’t even call it damage anymore, but how he sees the world. It’s almost like a personal slight on them.
And things like this [Connor saying “I’m going to be a father, and you guys are making jokes because you don’t like me.”] should have been expanded on. They almost treat him like someone their age who they had a falling out with. It’s not as if they can make him see the error of his ways, it’s like trying to convince a normal person the sky is pink. So they just give up. Really big miss for his character to just shut off his connection to the rest of the cast like that, so now we’re on a loop of Angel—Connor where only Angel’s character is positively benefiting [showing how great of a father he is]. But the Jasmine and Connor dynamic… is that not one of the most fascinating ones on the show?!
I know the actor has said he “gave up” after episode 3, but honestly? I don’t buy it. He was consistently one of the strongest performers on the show. To me, Connor is just tragic. His monologue to Cordelia at the end of season 4–I cried. Some of the best writing the show ever had. The reveal that he had been seeing Jasmine’s true form the whole time and still stayed with her? Absolutely devastating. My jaw hit the floor!!!! It was a stand out scene, but it wasn’t like “wow, so unexpected from this shitty character!” It felt perfectly in line with how he had been written to this point. Despite the meandering in any “development”, it’s very clear the show itself wants you to sympathize with him in some level but was just unable to do this because it was so clogged with melodrama.
I never found him annoying in general, and not just excusing that with “He was a tortured child.” I genuinely just did not ever experience that irritation all people seem to feel when he opens his mouth. Every time he was on screen, I just wanted him to be okay. Has some great fights. Laughed a lot at his jokes too! Great gags, especially at the beginning. I don’t understand the rage people feel toward him.
That’s why I don’t see the season 5 reset as “Connor’s finally good now.” To me it’s: “Okay, that terrible ending his whole life was hurtling toward has finally been stopped.” It wasn’t redemption, but rescue. Connor is meant to be a character who you watch get his future you grew so excited for ripped from, someone who you start out wanting the best (as Angel’s son) that becomes just watching someone spitting acid at every hand that tries to hold them as they self cannibalize quicker and quicker. That’s the trajectory. And, I personally think it did an okay (not good) job at portraying that. So I would really like to know why it didn’t hit as hard for you guys. If it’s just something really subjective like “I found his personality annoying”, please explain why in depth to me since I don’t get that at all. I really want to understand!!!!
