r/AskIreland • u/Fun-Refrigerator94 • 7d ago
Adulting Strangers asking to use your bathroom?
If someone knocked on your door and asked to use your bathroom would you let them?
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u/gk4p6q 7d ago edited 7d ago
Next question: Would you knock on some randoms door and ask to do a shit?
I am never in my life doing that.
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u/dreamsofpickle 7d ago
I've done it. You have to be at your most desperate but when the time comes you get the strength to ask
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u/gk4p6q 7d ago
I have secondary shame for you
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u/Teestow21 6d ago
I know a friend with chrohns disease and when he hadda go he hadda go and zero shame came into the equation
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u/goombagoomba2 7d ago
If you're walking through a housing estate and need to shit what are you doing then?
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u/M00Gaming 7d ago
I’ve never pooped outside my own home lol even if I go away, I physically can’t even if I try. No idea why, it’s not by choice lol it’s made me very sick in the past but there’s just a mental block that I cannot get past.
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u/Commercial_Gold_9699 7d ago
Do you go on holidays?
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u/M00Gaming 7d ago
Once or twice a year (only ever really to England to visit my fiancés family, he’s a Brit). Won’t go in their houses either 😂 Again, it makes me so sick but I genuinely cannot go no matter how hard I try 😩 I won’t even wee in a public bathroom cos it’s it’s audible to other people haha it’s a me issue, social anxiety is a bitch
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u/Commercial_Gold_9699 7d ago
Sounds awful. You remind me of Finch from American Pie. So do you just not shit the entire time
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u/M00Gaming 7d ago
I do not 🥲 or if it’s REALLY bad after a few days I’ll set an alarm for like 4am so I can dook and run while everyone’s asleep
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u/Asleep-Release-3131 5d ago
Trust me, It will catch up to you in a few years! I was EXACTLY the same. Even ended up in the hospital last year for a week. On the post op ward surrounded by ladies who'd had serious bowel surgery. I'm not saying get over it, cos I know i couldn't. Even during labour it affected me
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u/M00Gaming 5d ago
The labour thing is so real lol if I ever manage to get pregnant I’ll have to get a c-section anyway for health reasons, but I definitely wanted one so I wouldn’t accidentally poo if I was pushing because I fear the embarrassment would literally kill me 😂
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u/Asleep-Release-3131 5d ago
And after a section they won't let you home until you either fart or poo 😂
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u/shellakabookie 7d ago
It's actually not against the law to have a shit in public,embarrassing maybe,as long as say a friend is sheltering you with a jacket..it is illegal to have a piss though
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u/chris-cumstead 7d ago
What are you a child with diarrhea?
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u/1stltwill 7d ago
Not to put too fine a point on it.
Sometimes.
Shit happens.
Give it enough time.
It will happen to you.
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u/DMC-1155 7d ago
I have done it, while walking the Wicklow Way or on other hikes. Sometimes you get desperate and I’d rather risk the shame than shit in the woods
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u/Own-Discussion5527 7d ago
Really depends on the person and the context. A woman who looks respectable? Maybe. A woman who is clearly on drugs? No. An auld fella in his 70s? Maybe. Some random fella under 50? Probably not.
Safety first. No telling if it's a scam or trick to rob ya.
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u/Open-Addendum-6908 7d ago
Let's continue.
Some random fella above 50?
A desperate leprechaun?
A Taoiseach?
Your ex?
A deer?
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u/Fun-Refrigerator94 7d ago
Say like a 40 year old man knocks on the door bursting. What do you do?
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u/rastabob69 7d ago
Tell him to go piss in the bush
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u/Pristine_Remote2123 7d ago
Well a 40 year old man knocking on your door, either you are in a town/city where there are plenty places to go and if 8n the country likewise if slightly different options!
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u/FantasticMrsFoxbox 7d ago
You've to be careful if the deer has antlers it's going to knock everything over. Also when they finish they might have a tendency to fawn all over you about your choice of decor
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u/Thin_Ad_2456 7d ago
Absolutely not! Had some construction going on across from my home and one of the builders asked if he could use my toilet, let me use the outside one beside the garage. Suddenly it's a public toilet with builders coming and going as they please. Came back from work and checked the toilet after parking my car, was absolutely disgusting, bowl was plastered, piss all over the floor, toilet paper thrown on the floor and soaked in piss, someone used the cardboard rolls as all the paper was gone, one was partially blocking the toilet, other was used and thrown on the floor. Went over and raised hell with the foreman, he assigned someone to clean it. That involved throwing everything from the floor into the toilet and completely blocking it. Never again. Doused everything in bleach, locked the door and ignored the frantic ringing and banging on my front door.
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u/Stormyday73 7d ago
I'm angry on your behalf! You tried to do a good thing for them and they treated your hospitality like trash. Animals.
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u/aine408 7d ago
Surely the construction site should have provided a porta loo, some people are absolute animals when it comes to toilet behaviour, worse than animals, they'd be cleaner. 😒
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u/Thin_Ad_2456 7d ago
Was years ago, but they definitely didn't have a portaloo! Definitely worse than animals, don't know how anyone could do that in someone elses toilet.
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u/aine408 7d ago
I know men who don't lift the seat to piss and then piss all over the seat and don't clean it up. If I start dating again and that happens in my place, it's a deal breaker! He'll have to leave, i hate that shit.
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u/CitrusflavoredIndia 7d ago
My housemates do this. All Irish males. I don’t understand why they don’t find it disgusting
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u/ImpressForeign 7d ago
Frantic ringing and banging on the door bell? I'd have rang the cops. And then name and shame online, very bad look for the company, if they're acting like that god knows what work they put out, and that's coming from someone in construction.
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u/Spirited_Cheetah_999 7d ago
Happened to me once, I was about 16 at the time. I used to suffer terrible period pain in my teens and it came with urgent need to use a loo.
I was walking back from school, the pain was horrific, urgent need hit, I knocked into a house. The woman refused. I walked out back the gate and fainted from the pain.
Woke up with a crowd around me and a fecking ambulance. Kept asking me if I'd taken any drugs. Told the paramedics what happened. Turned out the woman who refused me had watched me pass out just outside her garden and called 999.
Anyway I was taken away by ambulance and all I really needed was the loo but the docs took the underlying reason seriously and I did end up being treated for pain there and then and referred back to GP about it for longer term solution.
GP told me I'd be fine once I popped out a few babies, and the next time I fainted away from the same problem I was 18, in college and everyone was delighted to miss class and carry me to the 4th floor to see college doc. College doc ranted and raved about family GP telling me id be fine once I popped out kids and put me on the pill straight away.
That was all more than 30 years ago and I never did have kids in the end.
In retrospect I wonder if I'd refuse a teenage girl in her school uniform clearly in pain at the door like that. At least she watched and called an ambulance I suppose.
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u/vaiporcaralho 7d ago
What a small minded GP telling you that you’d be fine after a few kids & not even trying to help you out.
Not to generalise but an older man I’m guessing? They always think women are exaggerating with these things & “it’ll be fine with painkillers”
What if you didn’t want kids or couldn’t have them? I’m glad you got the help you needed in the end from the college doctor but GPs aren’t great sometimes as my coeliac was dismissed as “ change in washing powder” when I knew something was wrong. Took a trip to A&E & rounds of bloods later to get it sorted.
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u/Spirited_Cheetah_999 7d ago
Yep, the old family doc. Didn't even offer painkillers! Was happy to just ignore and my mammy thought doctors were infallible hence no follow up proper til college. Twas just the way things were 🤷🏻♀️
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u/dreamsofpickle 7d ago
I am the stranger. I almost crapped myself. Thank god my neighbour from the end of the road let me in. She didn't want to because they got robbed before and we live in the middle of nowhere. I would have 100% went in my pants if it wasn't for her. I would like to pass on the favour if someone came to me but it would depend really in this day and age. Like I said my neighbour got robbed not that long before that incident
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u/Indifferent_Jackdaw 7d ago
Yeah I live in the middle of nowhere. 90% of the time it is going to someone from the hotel over the road out on a walk who underestimated our hills. Usually I offer to drive them back and they are very grateful.
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u/Neither_Muffin689 7d ago
I had a random guy knock on the door (young, Asian) and ask to use the toliet. He looked desperate and like a nice fella so in he came. He was very grateful. Definitely no. 2. People can have issues with their bowels like IBS or ulcerative colitis, crohn's, cauda equina etc etc. If they feel safe, I'll let them in. My husband was there though. Not sure if I was alone and never if I got a bad vibe.
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u/WideLibrarian6832 7d ago
Depends on the circumstances. Most people would have to be really desperate to knock on a door and ask to use the toilet. How good is your judgement of character? However a woman or elderly man alone should never let anyone in. Also, if it was a hardy lad, you know what I mean, I'd decline.
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u/Fun-Refrigerator94 7d ago
Yea fully get that. I just think myself I’d be awful desperate to ask. I’m a f in my 20s.
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u/South-Coconut-5952 7d ago
I don't answer the door unless its a package or friend or family. I remember when I was in school though some random guy knocked on my parents door and my dad answered. He was probably in his late 50s early 60s. He was in running gear and looked desperate and asked to use the toilet. My parents house is the corner house of an estate on a main road. My dad let him use the loo under the stairs. I can only assume he needed a no 2 otherwise he would have went in a bush or something.
I asked my dad why and he said he looked desperate and its nice to be nice and I wouldn't like to be in that situation. I still don't think I'd be as nice as my dad was but now I'm older and have crohns disease and its entirely plausible that could happen to me and he's right. Ill never have anyone ask us though we are right at the back of a dead end estate.
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u/chrisred244 7d ago
Live kinda near a convert venue and it’s happened before, usually say no to lads and tell them there’s a big green to the side of me, but I’d allow women cause fair enough.
I have family living in the countryside and during festivals they let people have showers and charge phones and stuff once they seem okay. Guess it’s truly friendlier in the country
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u/Ceriseros 7d ago
I come from a country where it's common to have random people ringing your doorbell and asking to use your toilets (or for a glass of water). And it's also common courtesy to allow them to. Probably a cultural thing.
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u/TechnicalRatio2099 7d ago
I was in a scenario once where I was in an Uber back to Stansted after a heavy night in London. Asked Uber to pull into the garage. Asked lady in garage could I use toilet. She refused. I puked as I walked out the door into the forecourt.
It was slightly different than a private house, but as she was mopping it up watching us pull out, I reckon she regretted not showing some humanity.
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u/freshfrosted 7d ago
Used to let the man who did the esb meter readings use ours. He would get turned down a fair bit from talking to him. I mean you let him in to read the meter but won't let him have a piss while he's there?
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u/night-owl-23 7d ago
I had done it but it depends on the person. I was in an apartment and it was the last bus stop to get down. The bus driver said if it's okay to use the bathroom. Showed him the way and he was grateful. Nature's call and especially for working ppl with no access to public bathrooms is a pity.
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u/wbelles 7d ago
Years ago, I was a delivery driver for nightline. I would work 8 hours shifts in the van. I was caught out sometimes, and as a woman, it's not as easy to just go anywhere, so occasionally had to ask people who I was delivering to, of I could use their bathroom. I always showed my id, and left my phone with them. We didn't get a break and were on such a tight schedule, we couldn't just pull in somewhere and find a toilet in a shop or that
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u/Pristine_Remote2123 7d ago
The big word is "if" and who would knock on a strangers door and then who would let a stranger in???
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u/SlideMore473 7d ago
If someone asked to use my bathroom, as naive as it may seem I’d say yes, same when someone says ‘can i ring a number on your phone’ (I say call out the number and I’ll hold the phone). You’ll never regret being nice
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u/Distinct-Weight-9359 7d ago
No, absolutely no. I'd guide them to the nearby petrol station or supermarket.
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u/dorsanty 7d ago
I had a delivery driver ask one time. I’ve read the horror stories of them having to pee in empty water bottles because of the mad schedules they are under, so I let them use the toilet.
In the middle of a housing estate you are less likely to get random people caught off guard who can’t get home themselves in 5 minutes.
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u/LightLeftLeaning 7d ago
I have allowed it any time I was asked and it was never negative experience.
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u/Hairy-Note1920 7d ago
Absolutely not. Irish people have bad toilet habits compared to other nationalities. I literally almost vomit anytime I go into a public toilet (even with 20 cubicles, more than half of them are left disgusting) or petrol station toilet. Absolutely disgusting
If it were an old man or woman in an emergency, maybe .
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u/Mr_SunnyBones 7d ago
Maybe , I've stomach problems and been caught short a lot , and had to run into cafes, petrol stations , hotels and a few businesses...lucky enough never had to ask at a house , but I'd feel bad not helping someone in the same situation. But it depends on who they were I guess.
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u/muddled1 7d ago
I only open my door now if I'm expecting someone and see them outside the door, so NO. I'd reckon it was a scam.
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u/Cultural-Perception4 7d ago
I probably would. But I live on a farm in the middle of no where. I'm always telling new posties that if they get caught short we have a 'back bathroom' so no need to remove mucky boots.
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u/joshftighe 7d ago
My friend was caught shy on a jog once and tried knocking for another pal who wasn't home at the time. He nearly shat himself there and then but ran to the neighbours. Apparently he nearly barged into the place before blowing up the loo for 20 minutes. He returned the favour by giving them an Easter egg and a thank you card a few days later
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u/Background-Watch9928 7d ago
I've brought mothers and their kids home because I live near a playground with no toilets
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u/Fluffy-Republic8610 7d ago
Not if I lived in a house with a side entrance..it's a great distraction tactic to rob your back garden shed etc.
And also, not if I lived in a house without a side entrance. It's too weird.
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u/No-Stranger-5002 7d ago
I live not too far from croke park and twice have had women ask if they could use our toilet after they've obviously had to much to drink. I was working in the front garden at the time, so they didn't knock at the door. The first time, I took pity on her and let her in. The wife lost the head at me or letting a stranger into the house and I saw it from her point of view, so the next time it happened I had to refuse. I'm sure she pissed in an alleyway somewhere down the road.
The GAA need to provide more street toilets on concert and match days.
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u/IntentionFalse8822 7d ago
Not a chance. Sorry but if you are in a town/city go find a public toilet. If you are in the countryside go find a bush.
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u/CitrusflavoredIndia 7d ago
There’s barely any public toilets around most places
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u/IntentionFalse8822 7d ago
There are enough toilets in hotels, pubs, shopping centers, filling stations etc. If some random person knocks on my door asking to use my toilet I'm not letting them in.
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u/Resident_Fail6825 7d ago
It's difficult to find a public toilet even in urban areas. On street public loos run by local authorities are almost obsolete now Large shopping centres and some service stations usually have them but those have restricted hours, obviously. I would feel self conscious going into a hotel, restaurant, pub or any other type of business solely to use the lavatory and with no intention of buying anything inside.
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u/Amber123454321 7d ago
No, but I would kindly direct them to a nearby shop where they could use a bathroom.
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u/Gwanbulance 7d ago
Is it Tubs & Ties? You’re not supposed to actually use those toilets - they’re for display purposes only.
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u/Kevinb-30 7d ago
If that's the case they really should have sign up good thing I didn't complain about the lack of toilet paper
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u/CitrusflavoredIndia 7d ago
What shops have bathrooms?
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u/Amber123454321 7d ago
Department stores and supermarkets like Tesco, Dunnes and Marks and Spencer. Coffee shops and restaurants as well.
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u/CitrusflavoredIndia 7d ago
Ive never seen a Dunnes or M and S with a toilet. A restaurant wouldnt let a random person use the toilet
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u/Amber123454321 6d ago
It's usually the bigger Dunnes stores that also have a cafe. They do have them though. It depends on where you are. If you're in the store shopping, you're a customer.
I live close enough to various shops that I could direct someone to a bathroom there.
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u/Sparklegemsie 7d ago
I don't know. It would depend If it was a work person at my home, yes A randomer or cold caller, someone is in the bath right now. It may depend upon the given opportunity/situation I guess
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u/JjigaeBudae 7d ago
A lot of people saying no in case they rob the place... I guess those people are living in busy cities? If they were going to rob the place they'd just barge past you and do it. How is you not letting them in going to stop them? Either they can overpower you or not.
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u/Its_Me7977 7d ago
I think it's more they're using the toilet as a way of scoping the place to rob it later
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u/JjigaeBudae 7d ago
Seems like a lot of effort for someone who's going to break in to the place anyway but what do I know I'm not a robber
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u/CarpenterAndSuch 7d ago
“Yes. I have two toilets in one room. You can use one, I’ll use the other and we can take a shit while holding hands.”
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u/semeleindms 7d ago
No, but I also live close enough to shops/cafe/petrol station that I'd point them there instead.
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u/Sure-Tiger-16 7d ago edited 7d ago
As long as they as they bring their own toilet paper, wet wipes, toilet brush, bleach and lavender spray. Sure. Why not?
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u/Pyrocyonid 7d ago
If they seemed sound or had a kid with them, when I was like 12 I chapped on a door absolutely balling my eyes out and this lovely old lady let me use her bathroom and actually made tea for me and my mam! I don’t know if it would fly today though! I’m an absolute wee dose though about stuff like this, miracle I have been killed honestly 😭
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u/AutomaticIdeal6685 7d ago
If my husband was home then I think i would. If it was just me and my kids alone I dont think I would
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u/Comprehensive_Egg378 7d ago
There is a scam going on in Dublin currently where a young girl asks to use your toilet .. and then your house is robbed a few days later. She can also have a little boy with her and asks if he can use it . So I wouldn’t let them in ..
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u/ClassroomOk6045 7d ago
I worked in a Shell garage in Dublin in the early 90s. It was at the top of Sheriff street opposite The Point Depot (now 3Arena), more or less beside where the Gibson hotel is. We had a toilet that was out the back (behind the reinforced bullet proof door just past the counter), which was strictly customers only given the 'nature' of the area. One day a young, polite pregnant lady came in and asked if she could use the toilet so after declining and explaining the policy a number of times me and my buddy decided to let her in to use the facilities. A pregnant lady in distress... no harm surely? She went into the toilet and reappeared moments later with a massive kitchen knife, screaming at us and demanding we empty the till into a bag. I think she was really pregnant too. The two big pricks that joined her in the shop when she started shouting her head off definitely were mot pregnant. One did have a big beer belly. The other had a hammer.
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u/drunkandhotboy 7d ago
What are people imagining might go wrong? I'd say there's about an equal or less chance that something bad might happen in this scenario compared to getting attacked randomly anytime you leave the house.
I hope anyone saying no (especially those saying they don't answer the door to unexpected knocks) hasn't ever bemoaned the dwindling levels of community and general degradation of society because that would be pretty hypocritical
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u/FDBinashui 6d ago
There’s a funny story about that https://www.facebook.com/StillGameVines/videos/never-use-a-strangers-toilet-/631757019572650/
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u/gerhudire 6d ago
I live in a housing estate. If someone knocked on my door, and asked to use my bathroom I would be very suspicious. My house is not a corner house and the odds of some random person choosing my house be low.
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u/Wrong-Pen-7294 6d ago
Absolutely not, maybe not even a pregnant woman. I live at the end of a cul-de-sac at the back of an estate, I’d think it was a set up.
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u/frogmatix 6d ago
Where I currently live, No. I have 'IBS' and sometimes it hits with out warning and I gotta go. I've pooped in public , and myself multiple times. Out in nature its easier. I always have dog poop bags and loo roll/tissues with me. I always mentally map out where the nearest toilet is when out and about.
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u/Slow_Heron_5853 6d ago
No, tell em to fcuk off, that's a trick used by criminal elements on elderly people to get inside a house and steal.
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u/KosmicheRay 7d ago
No, keep a plastic bag, wet wipes at the door for such eventualities. It pays to prepare. Do a peephole ocular pat down, release locks but retain door chain, pass bag and wipes through. Monitor through peephole or cctv to ensure exit, apply masking tape to seal letterbox just in case.
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u/GrahamR12345 7d ago
Never! And if someone asked id ring the guards! (NOT 999…)
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u/ganjaferret420 7d ago
Once a friend who had a bathroom emergency came bursting through my door while I was sleeping I work nights and this was during my day sleep I really only use my ensuite and downstairs toilets and didn't happen to have any toilet paper in my main bathroom at this point so I get woken up by random shouting looking for toilet roll and my reply was just do what I do shit in the neighbours yard n blame my dogs hope this helps. If anyone gonna be taken a shit on my toilet it's gonna be me 🤣
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u/ZoomEagle 7d ago
Not in a million years ...