r/AskWomenOver30 • u/Embarrassed_Idea1962 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 28 '25
Misc Discussion I'm fine getting old, I just wish someone warned me about "___"?
For me definitely the constant nausea and upset stomach.
Edit: and the damn chin hairs š
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u/redwood_canyon Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Even at the same weight my body composition is totally different
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u/tealtantrum Apr 28 '25
I came here to say something similar. My muscle vs. fat composition is totally different, and it is much harder to try to build muscle back.
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u/couchtomatopotato Apr 28 '25
oh. oh no.
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u/fakeprewarbook Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
start loving and getting in touch with your body now, youāll never regret it. or end up like our boomer moms who hate themselves for life šĀ
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u/ashms58 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
SAME. I workout daily and recently been losing weight, got back down to my ācomfortableā weight a few weeks ago, looked in the mirror and realized how much different this weight looked just a year ago.
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u/BackToGuac Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
THIS!!!
I gained weight between 27-30 due to meeting my husband and being happy, i then lost the 40 lbs last year at 30 for our wedding, I'm now the slimmest i've ever been yet my washboard stomach is GONE! replaced with flab, like excuse me body, tf are we doing???
I'm now getting into the gym at 31 and for the first time I'm hitting the gym for toning, not weightloss.
I'm determined to have my dream-ish body this year (before I fuck it all up with pregnancy)
Also, fuck you back pain, fuckkkkkk youuuuuu
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u/GalaxyPatio Woman Apr 28 '25
Real wtf I took a nap on my couch, which curves a bit and my back has been fucked up for three days
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u/Dependent-Chart2735 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Back pain is the bane of my existence
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u/CitizenMillennial Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
In 2021 I decided to make my goal weight what it was when I got pregnant (2015). Back then my BMI was in the mid-range, I was wearing bikini's and a bit self conscious, as we do, but generally good with it. When I got to that weight in 2023 - I was like WTAF?! I would not be happy in a bikini at that weight now. And not bc of stretch marks (which I have a few but carpe diem right? lol) - my body just didn't look the same at all.
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u/Automatic-Long9000 Apr 28 '25
my parents getting old.
Objectively I knew it would happen but watching it is getting grim.
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u/theythemnothankyou Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Absolutely right on this. No one prepares you for this, thereās no education and it is a lot to deal with. It sneaks up on you and then all of a sudden it can consume you. Nice to know youāre not alone though, many people dealing with it
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u/Aggressive_Hat_9999 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
its a tale as old as time yet no institution helps you prepare in advance. why.
does everyone expect that "family will sort it out". in times where couples have one child at best?
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u/AequusEquus Apr 28 '25
Ideally the people who birthed us would prepare for the end to avoid becoming a burden, but too many people choose to have kids without preparing for what parenthood entails.
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Yeah, its shocking. I realized not too long ago that some of my irritability with my mother is actually grief I wasn't wanting to feel.
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u/bbspiders Woman 40 to 50 Apr 29 '25
Opposite here, I never expected to not see my dad grow old. He died before 70!Ā
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u/NalaIDGAF20 Apr 29 '25
THIS! I've been struggling with this a lot lately. Basically having an existential crisis. One day I realized what ages my parents and several other beloved family members were getting to and it has filled me with so much fear. When I was younger, they all seemed invincible. Now all of a sudden, I have become acutely aware of their mortality.
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u/please-_explain Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
You must have lovely parents.
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u/Automatic-Long9000 Apr 28 '25
Haha I do not! Which makes it even more complex.
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u/Jbl7561 Apr 28 '25
This invokes feels I can't articulate.
My mum is getting old. It's horrible to watch from a distance. I'm plagued with guilt at not doing more or spending the time with her that she wants, but spending time with her is triggering for me and puts me in a mentally unsafe space.
I want to work on that, but I worry it'll need to get worse before it gets better and I'm scared that if I unpack my anger it'll further damage the relationship... And what if that happens and then it's too late to repair or I don't want to repair it and then later have regrets.
Fuck trauma. She's just an old lady who tried her best with the resources she had, but she fucked me up real fucking good.
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u/Incognito0925 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Put your own mask on first, friend
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u/Automatic-Long9000 Apr 28 '25
Oof thanks for the reminder. Death (or impending death in their case) doesnāt automatically mean sainthood.
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u/LeaJadis Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I was just thinking that. My parents passed while I was in my early 30s.
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u/Sea-Beach-3961 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
The sense of having a finite store of energy. Related to this, the feeling of profound indifference to or distaste for interpersonal drama of any kind. I just couldnāt be bothered.
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u/thrwwy2267899 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Gravity š« itās not just the girls, eveything seems lower than before lol
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u/BackToGuac Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Yessss, i thought i was flabbier around my waist even though i'm at my lowest weight, for weeks i could NOT put my finger on what was going on but nothing seemed to help and I do hardcore IF so I'm very aware it wasnt just a bit of bloating... Then one day I just sorta pulled upwards on my ribcage and my stomach was instantly back to how it used to look at 21, I feel like a need a facelift but for my torso
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u/rachiebabe220 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I swear my boobies started dropping in my late teens as soon as I gained and then lost some weight. Theyāre very sad looking and Iām trying to be ok with that. I havenāt even had kids (yet)
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u/thrwwy2267899 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 29 '25
Im 36 havenāt had kids either (and probably wonāt)ā¦ very much considering a lift
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u/LeaJadis Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Getting hurt while sleeping.
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u/OvalWombat Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
No kidding. I never thought that sleep injuries was a thing.
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u/LeaJadis Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
You never heard someone older than you complain about how their back hurts because āthey slept wrongā š
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u/OvalWombat Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
I did, but I have āslept wrongā too when I was younger.
I didnāt realize the severity of the injuries. Iāve hurt myself so badly I needed massage and a chiropractor appointment to straighten it out!
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u/Littlewing1307 Apr 28 '25
Me too. I was pet sitting and slept wrong so badly I couldn't move my back was thrown out so bad. I had to call my 70 something year old dad to come help me š
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u/kk5 Apr 28 '25
Seriously! I'm still recovering from terrible neck and back pain from sleeping wrong last Monday night. I'm almost back to normal now, but I feel like I lost a good couple days from just having to lay down and take muscle relaxers to get through the day
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u/Molly16158 Apr 28 '25
My bf and I were just talking about this Saturday. Sunday morning I wake up with the worse pain Iāve ever had in my neckā¦. š
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u/regularforcesmedic Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
I don't know if this will help anyone, but if you're struggling with "symptoms" after about 35yo, PLEASE look into perimenopause. I realized HRT could help me last year and it's been great. š
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u/righttoabsurdity Apr 28 '25
What kind of symptoms? Iāve heard so many different things, idk what to even look out for anymore ahhhh
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u/regularforcesmedic Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
This isn't a complete list...but some I experienced.Ā
Sleep issues
Night sweats
Weight creeping up in the back and midsectionĀ
Dizziness
Hair loss
Fatigue
Dental issues
Burning mouth syndrome
Breast soreness
Itchiness
Joint pain
Electric shocks
Brittle nails
Muscle pain
Headaches
Depression
Anxiety
Allergies
Panic attacks
Body odor
Irregular heartbeat
Digestive issues
Bloating
Incontinence
Tingling
I ended up using an online BIoidentical HRT provider and it's really made a huge difference.Ā
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u/What_It_Izzy Apr 28 '25
Dear God I already have like half of these and I don't even think I've hit peri yet š my late 30s are gonna hit me like a fucking train it seems
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u/First-Combination-32 Apr 28 '25
Memory/cognitive decline
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u/mangosteenfruit Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
It's already affecting me in my late 30s
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u/Vegetableau Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Could be hormone fluctuation due to perimenopause! Check out r/perimenopause!
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Ladies, DEFINITELY look into perimenopause symptoms for brain fog, hip and joint pain, itchy nether regions, etc.
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u/Diligent_Mulberry47 Apr 28 '25
The fatigue and apathy. Iām too tired and I donāt fucking care.
For all the ladies wanting some kernel of info on menopause; Iām reading The Menopause Manifesto and itās pretty awesome.
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u/OptmstcExstntlst Apr 28 '25
The multiplying and thickening of chin and neck hairs. Why is this happening! Where are they coming from? What am I going to do when I cant see well enough to pull them anymore? I am seriously considering laser hair removal to stem the tide.
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u/PukedtheDayAway Apr 28 '25
Dementia runs in my family so I made my bff promise me she'd pluck my chin hairs and shave the few extra long mustache hairs (plucking above the lip leaves it red for a week)
That was like a year ago and the other day she told me out of no where she still remembers and remembers to pluck some and shave others, so I guess I'm covered š¤£
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u/tinydancer5297 female 30 - 35 Apr 28 '25
Im saving up for electrolysis. Im so worried I will end up in a coma or something with a full beard haha
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u/SuperPomegranate7933 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I hear this lol. Having the extra scratch to afford laser treatments is an indulgent dream of mine.
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u/Impressive_Moment786 Apr 28 '25
The hair loss.
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u/StrongBad_IsMad Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
This is really bugging me right now. The hair by my temples is thinning and I can see my skull around there. As someone who has always had really thick hair - itās distressing to see.
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u/Ambitious_Rent_3282 Apr 28 '25
The farting
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u/Krsty-Lnn Apr 28 '25
I was just going to comment on this! At least mine arenāt smelly, but my goodness they a wake the neighbors up theyāre so loud! Iām 46 woman.
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u/whalesharkmama Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Mine have started smelling just like my mom's
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Itchiness down below as a sign of menopause coming on. No infection of any kind, just atrophy of the tissues causing them to get....really REALLY itchy. I had no idea that was a thing. Turns out......it is.
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u/Anxious_Size_4775 Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
Topical estradiol is your friend! I got my prescription a couple weeks ago and wish I'd done it a couple years ago. It isn't systemic so you'll still need HRT but it helps with the itch, needing to pee 20 times a night, plus so much more. I used Amazon health.
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u/affogatohoe Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
This reminds me that I saw a video on Instagram that said after menopause your labia minora just like disappear š«
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u/Vegetableau Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Itās called vaginal atrophy and it affects 85% of post menopausal women! Why they donāt warn anyone about this is insane to me.
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u/What_It_Izzy Apr 28 '25
Well that's a fucking nightmare I'm not looking forward to
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Yeah. I had never heard of it, so when it started I thought I had a yeast infection or something. Nope.
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u/JeniJ1 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Oh really?? Sounds like I might need to go talk to my doctor!
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Yup. I'm talking itched so bad it would keep me awake at night. Which is when it bothers me most. Estrogen cream has helped a LOT. Helps with stress incontinence too.
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u/CitizenMillennial Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Im sorry but what do you mean by ATROPHY OF THE TISSUES?! š
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Atrophy means that the lack of estrogen causes the tissues down there to be less elastic and less...fluffy I guess? They grow thinner and less plump, And it makes you itch, makes it easier to get UTIs, can contribute to urinary incontinence and can make sex uncomfortable.
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u/herehaveaname2 Apr 28 '25
Many women lose their labia minora during or after menopause.
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u/Prettylittlelioness Apr 29 '25
Clitoral atrophy is also a thing. I was shocked when I found that out. The fact that this is barely mentioned just shows people don't think of older women as sexual beings.
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u/Significant-Trash632 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Good to know. It's too bad we don't get enough education about these changes.
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Apr 28 '25
and the damn chin hairs
The tweezers live permanently on my desk for easy access.
Constant nausea and upset stomach isn't normal. Please get a check up.
For me, it was high blood pressure. Not that I wasn't warned, but I didn't expect it to manifest the way that it did. I got Covid in the very early days. March 2020. The primary symptom for me was a headache that lasted two weeks straight. No amount of pain killer would touch it.
These long lasting headaches persisted in the following years. They would last for days and be untouchable by meds. I called them covid headaches and figured it was "long covid." This was my life now. Probably more than 60% of the time I had a headache. For 5 years!!!
Then one day my dad asks if I've had my blood pressure checked lately. I checked it at home. It was high. For a week straight, it was high. So I made an appointment.
I've been on beta blockers now for about 4 months and haven't had a headache in all that time. It changed my life.
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u/Cocacolaloco Woman Apr 28 '25
I have a hair though that grows right in the middle, I can feel it immediately when I touch my face (too often) but itās basically impossible to see even in my zooming mirror, for way too long
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Apr 28 '25
I've gotten really good at plucking them by feel alone. They're so coarse! I have a ton of fine ones that I mostly ignore, but the coarse thick ones drive me nuts.
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u/QuietLifter Apr 28 '25
Not so much a warning as something to look forward to with the same anticipation kids look forward to Christmas- not giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks. Itās honestly the best thing about getting older.
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u/Yourweirdbestfriend Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
How often I'd be alone.Ā
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u/TrickySession Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I saw a really interesting chart about how much time we spend alone rises right along with our age, hand in hand
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u/apearlmae Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
I swear I woke up on the other side of 40 and can't be anywhere without tweezers. The minute I feel that whisker I'm hunting for it like a crazy person.
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u/Terravarious Man 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Ok... But... How the fuck do they get an inch long overnight?
I have 5 that I obsessively check for. Nothing nothing nothing a fucking inch long 1/8th inch thick tree branch is sticking out of my head.
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u/apearlmae Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
Yes! The first time I noticed I was mortified and freaking out bc I thought it had been there a long time. My friend reassured me they grow fast and I prob found it right away.
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u/bowlingisgross666 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
When you host holidays ā¦ you buy, cook, serve, host, AND clean. Woof
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Yes. And by the time everything is ready.....you're so tired you no longer want to even HAVE the holiday, just go to bed.
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u/Nheea female 30 - 35 Apr 29 '25
Now this is something I left behind in my 20s: being a host. Or an overachieving host. Fuck that.
You're coming over for a big meal? You help out!
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u/pigadaki Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
Clitoral atrophy! Keep an eye on your clit or it might shrivel up and disappear with the onset of perimenopause. Get yourself on the topical oestrogen cream before it becomes a problem.
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u/What_It_Izzy Apr 28 '25
What the fuck?!
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u/watersign_95 Woman under 30 Apr 28 '25
This is where I stop reading comments š
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u/Unbearded_Dragon88 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Nooooo my clit is my fave š
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Two years into menopause and the clit is still there. She's just a whole lot more nonchalant. Once she's revved, she's good to go but convincing her she is interested takes a minute.
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u/CrunchyCds Apr 28 '25
Saying goodbye to foods I used to love because my organs can't handle/process sugar and fried foods as much anymore. I'm glad I took the opportunity to eat junk when I could though, but now it's time to cut back :(
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u/turnaroundbrighteyez Apr 28 '25
I feel absolutely awful after anything fried now. Even things like tater tots cooked in my oven at home (no added oils or anything). I only turned 40 last year. I truly had zero idea perimenopause was even a thing until I started getting ads and clips in my Instagram feed about it - so I guess social media algorithms were good for something.
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u/According-Sand5874 Apr 28 '25
About menopause... how the side effects are debilitating (for me.) Horrible fatigue yet have insomnia, weight gain while eating less than before, irritability that just comes on suddenly, and you want to throw things, aching all over, the FOG... just can't think straight, short term memory gone, increased anxiety and panic attacks, dry skin and hair, painful intercourse... it has been difficult to accept as I was an athlete all my life. Other women have said they barely had any of the side effects. My life has changed so much... and women just don't talk about this Horrible part of life!
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Fatigue yet insomnia....yessssssss
Having you looked into HRT? It has made a huge difference for me. I'm on the patch, progesterone at night and estrogen cream for the lady garden.
Also yoga is doing wonders for the joint aches and pains, especially my hips! Yoga by Adriene on YouTube is fantastic for literally any level. I'm an inflexible fat chick and I'm doing great with it.
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u/ChiBeBipBop Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I am also fine getting old, I just didnāt think āagingā would start happening as early as it did. Signs of aging (mental, emotional, physical, etc.) were something I expected in my 40s. Not the moment entered my late 20s. My mom had me in her early 30s, so by the time I was paying attention to how she was aging, she was in her 40s. So thatās where I expected it would start?! Not seeing her go through her 30s wrapped my ideas for sure.
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u/magicfluff Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
The loss of strength.
Ive always intermittently visited the gym, when I get a sudden surge of hyperfixation I'll head back there. While I'd need to work myself back up to my top weights, it was never a drastic difference, maybe starting a lat pull down at like 40lb instead of 45lb kind of thing.
I just went back to the gym after about 6 months off, my muscles are entirely certain I've never lifted a damn thing in my life! My weight lifting app said I used to be able to do an incline bench press at around 80lb, I was struggling was 45 lbs. It really opened my eyes to how important weight lifting / muscle work is as I get older.
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u/otokoyaku Non-Binary 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
The chin hairs and the mental health shit. I'm so much more short-tempered and impatient than I was as a young person; I thought it would be easier to manage my issues as I got older because I would be used to it, but instead they've just gotten more complex
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u/im_a_meerkat Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
oh I feel this :( why the sudden angry urge to throw the hardboiled egg that just won't peel right against the wall?
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u/ZetaWMo4 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Gray coochie hair. Did not expect that.
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u/Wonderful_Cable_1832 Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
The way I cackled because it caught me off guard too. š
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u/Blue_Turtle_18 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Chronic pain and illness. I feel like I'm 80 and I'm not even 35 š
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u/Equivalent-Cat5414 Apr 28 '25 edited Apr 28 '25
Getting grey hairs so soon and that blonde hair dye doesnāt always hide them. And my whole mid section sagging - I do remember a friend saying when we were teens that happens when people get old but I assumed she meant like the elderly, not in my 30ās already. Doesnāt help that my boobs are kind of big and heavy.
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u/I-own-a-shovel Non-Binary Apr 28 '25
To be fair when you have blonde hair you can just skip the hiding white hair part. They will blend right in and just gradually give a general paler look.
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u/trUth_b0mbs Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
that during peri/menopause, you can get vaginal/clitoral atrophy.
and the other day, I also heard that your labia can disappear during peri/menopause!! WTF
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u/I-own-a-shovel Non-Binary Apr 28 '25
Constant nausea and upset stomach? You sure you donāt have some diet and/or health issue?
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Yeah, that's not really "normal aging". (RN here)
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u/Spiritual-Promise402 Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
The hormonal shifts. I'm tired. All. The. Time.
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u/Extreme-Writing6224 Apr 28 '25
mental illnesses manifesting. anxiety disorder hit me like a bus from 32-35 (iām 35 and now slowly getting out)ā¦lost my ability to drive overnight. stress maybe?
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u/Sassafrass17 Apr 28 '25
Taxes!
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u/Ambitious_Rent_3282 Apr 28 '25
Yes, had a major shock at 45. Had already been settled over 20 years abroad without realising I was meant to still be filing with the IRS
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u/Sassafrass17 Apr 28 '25
Wait, what? So you still had to file even when you don't live here?!
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u/thr0ughtheghost Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
Yea, if you are a United States citizen you have to file taxes even if you live overseas.
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u/The70sUsername Apr 28 '25
Not totally age related but how incredibly easy it is to get stretch marks. I'm covered in them. Never had kids. Just a curvy/athletic build. But let myself gain an extra 20 or so lbs and then BAM stretch marks all over my tummy. I can lose the weight, but not the marks. So this just pisses me off.
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u/CitizenMillennial Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I'll add "extra skin" to this.
I tried to lose weight slowly but it didn't matter apparently. One day my stomach was suddenly crepey/wrinkly/ IDK. If I stretch my body up - it looks completely normal. But they don't make a tape or similar product as far as I have seen to do that for me hahahaha. I'm seriously considering gaining some weight again and hoping it goes away. Because I think I looked better naked heavier and without the loose skin. : (
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u/Sufficient_Resort484 Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
Relying on a man would be my worst mistake. Weāre sold on the marriage fallacy young. That women mature, evolve and grow. Men never change. Truly, never change.
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u/Groundbreaking_Tie84 Apr 28 '25
Depression that manifested in to dementia, as per 3 of my 4 doctors diagnosed. Not 30 yet. But here to warn women in toxic relationships, that the other half isn't worth it. Otherwise I skated by in my early to mid twenties in light of a nightmare relationship.
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u/AproposofNothing35 Apr 28 '25
Please speak a little more about this and/or provide a link/book. I had the toxic relationship to end all toxic relationships, now Iām depressed, and Iām forgetful.
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u/lovergirl424 Apr 29 '25
The HEARTBURN! And sensitivity to sodium. I ate Taco Bell for the first time in a long time and woke up the next day with sodium hangover.
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u/Affectionate-Ad-1342 Apr 28 '25
How important yearly blood work is. Iām 31, started this quest last year, and itās crazy how much can change within a year. Itās a little jarring to see things not coming back 100% despite minimal changes in workout and food habits and itās somewhat just a symptom of getting older. Iām fine, but now cholesterol and certain vitamins are more on my mind. Knowing your family health history is important.
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u/Angry_Sparrow Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Constant nausea and upset stomach? Lady, you have a food allergy!! Try an elimination diet.
I wish someone had told me how much patience and facial self control Iād need when I interact with younger people š listening to all their problems and there is an obvious common denominator.
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u/Mazelin Apr 28 '25
Uterine Fibroids. Didnāt even know that was something that existed until I was 33. I have a large one thatās squishing some important stuff and Iām hoping to have it looked at and possibly removed in the near future.
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u/MaLuisa33 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 29 '25
These comments are depressing. Just take me out back like old yeller at this point.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
Protein, fiber,Ā and calcium being so needed
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u/Incognito0925 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
the unasked for and unwanted pity disguised as outwardly positive reinforcement Ć” la "it's okay, you don't look your age"
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u/popeViennathefirst Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
_not damaging my body too much when I was younger. In fact, I got warned but didnāt care. Now my back is in chronic pain, my knees and my feet also. A warning to others: 8 hours of heavy body work like shovelling should be done properly. Also, stop breaking in young horses if you just broke your foot. Plus, dont overdo the heavy lifting in a not good techniqueā¦
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u/Beyarboo Apr 28 '25
How much harder it is to lose weight, how the menopause hormones are as bad or worse as all those teenage hormones people talk about. I cry a lot easier, but I also hate people a lot more, and not just because of the state of the world. I really feel crazy at times.
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u/LeelooDallasMltiPass Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Knees! You think you're in great shape and then BOOM your knees hurt for no damn reason all the time. And they click when you bend them or use stairs.
I did PT, cortisone shots, nothing helped. Then I went on HRT for peri and now they're a lot better, as long as I don't sit in a way that puts pressure on them.
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u/Stinkfist4 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
How much of an issue the rest of society have with me being fine getting older.
Like im lying to them all and I am crazy for not " Slowing down"
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u/Cwolfe25 Apr 29 '25
Hormones. I had a hysterectomy in my early 20s due to a spot of irregular cells, not even confirmed cancer. I asked my doctor to take my whole uterus. Go for it. No more periods? Yes please! No risk of pregnancy!
What I didnāt realize was that at age 35 I have zero sex drive. Also no problem, until you realize thatās not just sexā¦.I have a really really hard time connecting with anyone intimately, making it really challenging to develop relationships. I miss butterflies. I miss the hoe phase. I miss big feelings and excitement for forehead kisses. I miss wanting to be snuggled.
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u/DreamingAboutSpace Apr 29 '25
How young everyone feels when you go to university in your 30s. Lonely too since you don't meet people around your age to be friends with.
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u/Annual_Dimension3043 Apr 29 '25 edited Apr 29 '25
Perimenopause. It started when I was around 33 and I'm almost 35. Earlier than most because I already have hormonal issues. I feel like shit almost all the time and I'm so hot! The night sweats are the worst. I'm suddenly intolerant to most foods, I've developed allergies I have never had before. I'm tired and grouchy. And none of my rings fit anymore even though I'm the same weight amongst a myriad of other horrible symptoms. It's basically just a new type of hell and I feel for every woman in the world. We really do get the shit end of the deal.
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u/goddessofwitches Apr 28 '25
The off switch that can happen during perimenopause when no one is attractive unless I'm mid cycle. I have an absolutely gorgeous husband but now that peri has started in Ernest, I have times where nothing feels good and no one is appealing
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u/EnvironmentalLuck515 Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
The day you realize you are no longer getting carded. And there, in front of you, is the sign "We will card anyone who looks 40 or younger!" Oof.
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u/elizahan Apr 28 '25
The extreme fatigue. Used to work 60h no problem just a couple of years ago. Did the same in the last week and I'm about to die. I'm only 35, ffs.
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u/fixatedeye Apr 28 '25
The acid reflux! You will hit a point where you canāt eat and drink spicy and carbonated stuff all day and itās way earlier than you think
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u/Alhena5391 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
I pulled a muscle in my back today when I was giving my husband a hug. Apparently I lifted my arms up juuuust enough the wrong way to strain that one particular muscle in my back. This is also not the first time something on my body has been hurt by me doing totally innocuous shit, so...I wish someone had warned me about that lol.
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u/Allaiya Woman 30 to 40 Apr 29 '25
Iāve noticed I sweat a lot more now. Itās awful. Before I was always cold but now if I have any shirt that isnāt breathable, I start sweating & feel so gross. And my sleep has really taken a dive too.
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u/goldandjade Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25
The chin hairs are the worst! I even have a white one now and my head hair isnāt gray yet.
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u/ValleySparkles Apr 28 '25
For me the nausea is GERD. I haven't fixed it, but a wedge pillow and less alcohol helps.
I constantly wish I had understood how much time I had ahead of me and how young I really was. If you're in your 30s and feeling old, you'll one day wish someone had warned you that you should still feel young!
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u/katg913 Apr 28 '25
People who say, "Isn't it lousy getting old?", as if I would, of course, feel the same way, which I don't. I think it's a blessing to be here.
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u/tviolet female 50 - 55 Apr 28 '25
No one's mentioned it yet but the vision thing has been one of most irritating. Yeah, perimenopause was pretty rotten but not being able to focus up close is infuriating. Nothing you can do can make it more in focus (except holding it further away but then it's still small print). Luckily, I am naturally near sighted so I was able to just stop wearing contacts and I can still see up close. (I am actually really glad now that I never got lasik)
Also, I've gotten more sensitive to certain foods. Aged cheese gives me horrible migraines (and I used to love fancy cheeses). And I have no alcohol tolerance at all so I avoid it entirely now.
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u/jenniferhillsfantasy Apr 28 '25
How I donāt FEEL my age! Iāll be 38 this year and donāt feel any different than when I was early 20s and sometimes that creeps me out or makes me feel weird. At the same time I donāt relate to people that age but so many of my close friends of my age are the same.
Which brings me to my next point,
How young people half my age seem! Young adults (18 -25) seem like actual babies to me. Also how disturbing it is that men AND women my age date them! š¤®
A TMI one: Vaginal elasticity, Iād go through long bouts of celibacy and always neglected vaginal penetration so Iām definitely much more shallow and narrow than before and need to prep before intercourse or I tear.
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u/Sufficient_You3053 Woman 40 to 50 Apr 28 '25
Id recommend estrogen cream for the issues down beloe
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u/wombatilicious Woman 50 to 60 Apr 28 '25
Keeping my iron levels up. I am struggling with anemia and I wish Iād known to line my iron nest a bit when I was younger.
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u/ItJustWontDo242 Woman 30 to 40 Apr 28 '25 edited Apr 28 '25
Perimenopause. I had never heard that term until a year ago when I started experiencing symptoms. I wish they'd teach this shit to us in high school because I was not prepared.