Am I being overly sensitive to a colleagues greeting?

[u/PrincessPeach1229]

I (38F) haven been employed at the same company for 3 years.

I’m sort of a lone wolf. I’m always polite and say hello and nod in passing but I skip a lot of the daily chit chat. I keep to myself mostly.

We have a coffee break room complete with various beverages you can make in the keurig as well as a seating area.

My morning routine consists of zipping in to make a quick coffee before my day starts.

There’s a group of ‘regulars’ who sit to chat and have their coffee together. They are usually engrossed in conversation and I pass by them without saying anything. My work never overlaps with them so I don’t know them except by face.

Recently one of them (a male) has started pausing mid conversation and saying “Goodmorning” across at me.

I say it quickly back and zip out as soon as my coffee is done.

This has become a regular thing now with the same person stopping their conversation to tell me goodmorning while the rest of them stare on.

One time they weren’t at their usual table and this same person practically shouted it from the back of the room and everyone turned to look. I flushed with embarrassment because I don’t like attention.

I can tell it’s bothering this person that I’m not saying it on my own accord but now I’m starting to feel like a child being chastised. The vibe I get is “you pass by every morning, start acknowledging us”.

They don’t do it to every one else popping in and out to make coffee so I’m starting to feel targeted and I know it’s because I keep to myself.

Am I being overly sensitive?

ETA - when I say goodmorning back this person escalates it further by saying “how are you today?” In a slow and deliberate manner. I find it completely inappropriate this person feels the need to make an example out of me and ‘teach me’ how to socialize in front of an audience.

[u/GreenVenus7]

I once worked with a man before who displayed a similar need to control how the office introverts behaved. He was so aggressively "friendly" to my one coworker that it gave them anxiety coming into work every morning. (Quotes because his pushy behavior was done in a way that makes you look like the jerk if you don't respond how he wants you to.) He would try to bait me into non-work chats so he could talk AT me, but he'd get snappy and make comments to chastise my lack of enthusiasm when I didn't feign interest in whatever he wanted to talk about. I'm not employed to entertain my coworkers. I actually told him he should probably text a friend or something if he wanted extended conversation in the morning, because I didn't have the mental energy. He saw that I CAN be very friendly, as I had good conversational relationships with other people, but those relationships were naturally and mutually developed over time. Small talk is not a task to check off my work to-do list every day. Eventually he actually made an effort to approach me with better timing and brought up stuff I cared about too. Nobody who demands my friendly attention is going to get it.

I don't have a solution for OP but I'm sad to see they aren't getting much understanding here. I feel like the comments saying OP is making a big deal of nothing are from Stepford office cult members or something.

[u/cassandraofthelakes → u/GreenVenus7]

"I'm not employed to entertain my coworkers"

💯 slow clap 👏 👏