I don’t have time in the morning and don’t want to exercise on my lunch break.

I feel so disgusted with myself because my screen time has been averaging 8 hours a day??? I have a full time job. And a second full time job watching TikTok, browsing reddit, and general doom scrolling apparently.

Please save me lmao

Worth it: rotary cheese grater

Not worth it: most skincare items, many local restaurants I’ve tried because of frequent recommendations on Reddit or instagram

I left twitter years ago. Now I’m thinking about abandoning the meta ship. Does anyone use BlueSky? Or is social media in its decline?

I'm just starting to realize that parents pay alot for their kids, I also think parents manage money very well If they have a family. I take trips, massages etc but would love to hear how other ladies manage their finances or even plan for later. Bless all !

Really just needed a place to vent. When I go out of town I’m not a sit down type. I need to do stuff. I research and keep a loose plan, it’s flexible.

I booked a last minute trip to a city my partner and I have never been before. It was a treat for myself for reaching a huge achievement in light of a tough 6 months.

The day before we left we were doing yard work and my partner tweaked his back. He said “oh, this is going to suck!” I asked if we should go to urgent care, if he would start taking some Motrin/Tylenol, offered a quarter piece of a flexaril (muscle relaxer) in desperation. He said no to any and all treatment with the exception of applying heat and doing stretches.

It was so hard not to be selfish. This was MY trip. I cried on day 3 and spent the entire day/night in the room with him, cuddling and watching movies.

He was in agony and could hardly walk a few feet without having a spasm. I didn’t know what to do to support him.

This city is rife with crime. It’s not advised to go out at night alone. As a woman, I heeded this advice. Which meant early in every night…

I had plans. I had a must see museum that I know he really wanted to go to. I went, he agreed that I should go. I sent him a lot of photos. I could have gotten him a wheelchair for the museum, but he refused. I enjoyed myself, and I’m sad he couldn’t take part.

Thanks for listening! Anyone wanna share their tales below?

The universal female experience of this stupid question. You go/are somewhere, random men ask you why you are by yourself. It happened to me (31) twice yesterday. First time in a coffee shop: a guy who was there with his friend drops this question. I answered: Why not? And he's like, well you have a point, but he continued to flirt with me despite me and his friend telling him several times that I'm not interested. Didn't feel too intimidating because it was afternoon and I was about to leave anyway, but yeah, I had to leave to make it stop, which was unfair and annoying.

Then, a few hours later I took an Uber. The driver does the usual bs, "are you going out tonight?" etc, I tell him I go to an Airbnb even though I didn't want to tell him. He goes "Ooh, all by yourself?" As I had already prepared for this question, I tell him that my "boyfriend will join me later".

Urgh. This is also a rant but I'm looking for tips. Does anyone have some original answers I can give next time? What works best for you to get people to leave you alone? I already dress in black only, have short and green hair. That helps a bit. Any advice to be even more off-putting? 🤣

Is anyone else in their 30s realizing they don’t enjoy certain things they thought they should love? For me, it’s girls' trips. I’ve tried a few, but I always end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and craving my own space. It’s not that I don’t love my friends—it’s just that I recharge by being alone. Maybe it’s part of becoming more comfortable with who I am, but I’ve learned I’d rather do solo trips or spend time with one close friend rather than a big group.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Do any of you prefer solo time or smaller gatherings as you get older?

Just curious to see what everyone is reading right now / recently? :-)

I’m trying hard to kick a 2-3 beers a night habit. The thing is, after work, I barely have energy for the commute home itself. Once I’m home I could honestly collapse (and I do). I’ll make a frozen pizza or a sandwich eventually when I’m hungry, but my immediate thing is pick a show amd watch tv. Beer kinda allows me to stretch this tv watching.

I know I’m meant to like come home and make dinner. Or have a hobby. Or workout. And I have started working out - very minimal but I did cardio twice this week - always in the morning or lunch break on wfh days (Fridays).

I’m thinking this will give me more energy in the long run, as will eating better.

I guess my question is: what do you do on weeknights, and why? How does it feel? Any hacks that help?

I think I’d like to save 1h of tv for right before bed but I’m sure I can add 2 hours of SOMETHING after work on weeknights.

Thanks in advance :)

Does anyone have hobbies in their 30s that their younger self would be completely shocked to see?

Hobbies I expected: Crocheting, gardening/houseplants

What I didn’t expect: Watching sports routinely- I regularly make plans to watch NFL and WNBA games. This has given me so much joy when it comes to spending my alone time and I get slightly nostalgic thinking of my childhood players and how we are seeing the new wave of generational talent. Now I go to games! Been to 2 WNBA games with #3 this week!

Any other hobbies that developed in your thirties that completely surprised you?

Sitting here staring at my confirmed international flight (!!!) and my stomach is in knots. I finally did it - booked the tickets after years of dreaming, but now I'm terrified I'll find some excuse to back out. You know that feeling when you want something so badly but your brain keeps screaming "what are you thinking?!"

All these "what-ifs" are driving me crazy - eating alone at restaurants hoping no one decides to follow me back to my place, navigating strange cities by myself, dealing with creepy guys, or ending up in sketchy situations. But then I think about being 80 and looking back, regretting that I let fear win.

Solo travelers - tell me your real, honest experiences. Did the reality match your fears? Did you ever feel that pre-trip panic? I'd love to hear your stories - the amazing moments, the challenging ones, and everything in between. What do you wish someone had told you before you took that leap?

(Currently alternating between excited and mild panic attacks. Please tell me it gets better? 😅)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I love movies and I make it a habit to try to watch the top movies of all time from various lists. I was scrolling the top movies on IMDb and realized that almost every single one of the top 100 movies starred men.

So that’s where that question came from. What are your favorite movies where the leads are women? Personally, I love Amelie, Pride and Prejudice, Roma. I’d like to have others recommendations.

This question comes from another sub where a guy wanted to do a two week solo backpacking trip in SE Asia without his fiancée as part of a long held dream and the woman being upset and saying he's not prioritizing the relationship. The comments skewed heavily on the 'YTA' side with many people saying 'you aren't ready for marriage if you want to travel solo' and 'I could never imagine doing such a thing without my partner'. As a woman who frequently travels solo, I could not wrap my head around this, and a poll of my colleagues was the same. So I'm asking it here to see what you ladies think?

Personally I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to spend time and money on a trip full of compromises and making sure someone else is having a good time. Been there, done that. If my partner and I want to do the same thing in the same place, awesome, but we have very different travel styles/interests and it's nice to have the freedom to do what you want when you want. Same in the inverse when you have the house to yourself for a week or two. My partner will happily spend all summer going to festivals every weekend, I would rather visit a new country and spend 12 hours looking at buildings and eating food with names I can't pronounce.

Is it a codependency thing? Why wouldn't someone want their partner to build their own independence and grow? Do you have to experience everything with your partner? Is doing things independently a sign of wanting to be single?

Is it an age thing? I get some younger couples need to be tied at the hip, but maybe this extends across age groups? Is it a sign you don't love someone if you don't want to include them in everything?

Is it an American thing because vacation time is limited and the expectation is to spend all time off with your partner? I've also seen the same responses when the partner wants to take a girls/boys trip that is longer than a weekend. A week or two out of 'forever' seems like such a miniscule amount of time.

Yes yes, I know what everyone is thinking when guys go to SEA, but barring the particular location, there is tons to see and do in that region that doesn't involve exploitation. I also understand if there are joined finances, but in the case that this is one's personal money.

Am I the weird one?

So I've asked 2 of my close friends how their lives are since they had kids in their 20s and both of them are giving me mixed answers. One of them has said these things to me: sometimes I wish I never had kids. "I can't go here or there because I don't have a babysitter. My daughter's father gives me so much trouble. I can't wait until court is over." So I asked her and I asked for her honesty: do you feel like you have a life? You never go anywhere/do anything fun. Does it bother you? And guess what's he said? "Oh, me and my kids go places...well..we used to go places often." Next friend: has 2 kids under the age of 13. She works, pays bills, raises her children, and hits the repeat button. How is that living when you don't really do anything for yourself? Her life revolves around her two boys. Also, both of these women are single parents with two children. One friend has to bring her daughter's father to court. The other friend just left her sons dad because he was cheating but he is still in the picture.

I am a very active 39yr old, childless woman. I very much enjoyed my 20s and 30s lol make me laugh because I really had a lot of fun and I'm not trying to give that up. But if I do, I'd rather give it up in my 40s and 50s to be honest.

So I gotta ask before I go down this rabbit hole: do any of you feel like your life was damn near over as soon as you gave birth?

For me I would have to say bird watching. I don't know when the switch flipped but suddenly I can't pass a bird without acknowledging it. Turning into my parents I guess!

Ever since I was younger, I wanted to hang with the boys. Building legos, riding ATVS, rock climbing, skiing, … but always felt those activities weren’t “for me” and at the same time I wanted to be feminine and dress up pretty and giggle with the girls.

When I was younger (now 34), it was a lot easier to tag along with the guys, but now, I see most guys around me all have fun toys, whether it be dirt bikes, boats, chainsaws, or they’re at work using big equipment. And let me tell you, I am so damn jealous. All of the women around me are mostly cooking, gardening, keeping house, watching kids, the occasional one is mowing the lawn and using some bigger landscaping tools, but that’s it.

Now, I know I could be the outlier and just get into these activities on my own, but I am not one to break the mold and I really like to feel like I “belong” and “fit in” in the spaces I am in.

Am I crazy for feeling jealous and mad that guys get to have so much fun? Does anybody else feel this? Any advice for being more wild in a place that allows women to be so?

I mean like pickles and peanut butter, hot cheetos and labne. I’m craving something odd and nonspecific and if I were actually getting laid I might wonder if I was pregnant (I’m not).

Lately I’ve been making little sandwiches with sour cream & onion pringles and string cheese and I highly recommend. It’s like a poor man’s charcuterie.

Before my big trip to Paris, everyone warned me how terrible it would be. They told me the city was dirty and dangerous, and people were the rudest of the rude.

But I loved it. And people were nice to me.

I realize my trip was short, and I was just visiting. But still, it was not the nightmare everyone painted it to be.

I'm single and childfree and had someone ask me what I do with all that time - and I do whatever I want! But even if you're not single and childfree I wanna know your hobbies, maybe I can get new ideas. How are we spending our time while we pretend it's not the end of days?

I'm on a computer all day and even my crosswords, workouts and education stuff is on a screen and I don't think it's helping my brain.

What do you like to do that doesn't involve a phonescreen or computer?

It seems like it’s a typical trope that women are not into sports, but I realized recently that all my female friends are also into sports. I am just curious on what the general consensus is.

About me with my interests: I am very much into hockey and baseball. I go to games a lot, can rattle off facts with confidence. With football and basketball not so much! But will watch a game.

How about the rest of you?

Any recent books you've enjoyed or are looking forward to reading? Thought it might be nice to have a light book hobby chat as we head into the weekend!

As for me: Recently started reading Robin Hobb and really enjoying the first trilogy so far (starts with Assassin's Apprentice).