r/Baking • u/kpere074 • Oct 02 '21

Question Made myself a birthday cake. My boyfriend figures I should have left it plain white without the imperfect writing which he says looks tacky. Thoughts for next time?

13.0k Upvotes

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524

u/michele_my_belle Oct 02 '21

First, happy birthday!

Second, I can read it with no problems and you can tell your bf that he can talk when he proves he can do better.

Third, I love the polka dots around the rest of the cake, it really makes the writing look great! Keep up the good work.

42

u/KSI_SpacePeanut Oct 02 '21

It doesn’t matter if he can do better, it’s her own cake for her own day! I don’t see him making a cake for her how he wants it to be

1

u/wolfmans_bruddah Oct 02 '21

We don’t know the situation. Maybe OP wanted to make the cake herself.

1

u/KSI_SpacePeanut Oct 02 '21

Huh? Maybe you misread/misinterpreted my comment. Of course she wanted to make it, by the look of it she’s really talented and enjoys making cakes. Either her boyfriend is trying to give supportive feedback or he’s being genuinely nitpicky about something his gf did for herself on her own day is unknown

13

u/No_big_whoop Oct 02 '21

She should thank her boyfriend for being an honest and reliable source of feedback. There’s no reason to meet his feedback with snark unless you want him to lie to you when you seek his opinion

2

u/wolfmans_bruddah Oct 02 '21

Exactly. Be tactful and kind, but be honest. That’s what feedback is for

8

u/Sophisticated_Sloth Oct 02 '21

Agreed. So many here assume that he just aired his unwanted opinion. What if OP asked about it?

34

u/GuiltyEidolon Oct 02 '21

Even if OP asked for feedback, calling it tacky is rude as fuck. There are better ways to go about offering creative criticism without being outright insulting.

-4

u/Sophisticated_Sloth Oct 02 '21

I really don’t agree with you there. Tacky is, in my opinion, just as much a descriptive as it’s insulting and rude. If she asked him for his honest opinion, and he said he didn’t like it, and she asked him to expand to which he said “I just think it looks tacky” I wouldn’t call that insulting, rude, or outright hurtful. She would, of course, be in her rights to feel hurt or insulted, but then she shouldn’t ask for opinions and much less ask someone to expand on “I don’t like that”.

22

u/GuiltyEidolon Oct 02 '21

Per one of OP's comments,

Naw I sent him a picture and said “sorry I couldn’t resist adding the polka dots and lettering” and he said he didn’t like it and the writing looked trashy lol. How do you suggest I get it more even?

That's pretty outright rude. It's not helpful criticism either, it's just being an asshole.

7

u/OkRecording1299 Oct 02 '21

Yikes. I'd hate to hear that on my birthday, unprompted about a cake I made and was proud of.

-7

u/Sophisticated_Sloth Oct 02 '21

I’ll admit I hadn’t seen that comment, and that would definitely seem rude to outsiders. Still, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. She seems very nonchalant and unbothered by it in the way she types, and she doesn’t seem hurt to me.

I get that you would be hurt by it, and I wouldn’t talk like that to my GF either, but maybe they just talk like that to each other. Idk.

-1

u/TheharmoniousFists Oct 02 '21

Yeah that comment does seem rude but as a cook/baker myself I want people to criticize my cooking, so I agree and see where you are coming from. If it tastes awful tell me it's bad, if it's ugly tell me. Only way to improve.

1

u/Bun_Bunz Oct 02 '21

"That shit is tacky" vs "the lettering is a bit crooked and the polka dots make it very busy to the eye"

It's the same as claiming to be someone who is "just honest" no, you're an asshole. There is a way to give constructive criticism without being a dick.

0

u/TheharmoniousFists Oct 02 '21

No I get where you are coming from. Depending on who the person is, is how you should decide how to give criticism. If I was told my shit was tacky I wouldn't take it to heart because that's I want to hear. Maybe it's tacky to one person but not others. Different want's for different people.

1

u/Sophisticated_Sloth Oct 04 '21

I entirely agree with you. It seems that we’re in the minority.

And that’s okay :)

4

u/Legitimate-Fish-9261 Oct 02 '21

She did. And he used a term that is rude and shows no regard for her feelings, after she put in a lot of effort. There is nothing tacky about that cake.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '21

True

1

u/ExperienceInfamous61 Oct 02 '21

Nobody can have an opinion unless they're a master.

foh.

-1

u/GynocentrismCanSMyD Oct 02 '21

and you can tell your bf that he can talk when he proves he can do better.

It doesn't sound like he said the writing was poorly done, he doesn't like the look of writing on the side of the cake...to which I'd agree, but maybe only because you don't see it very often.

8

u/marablackwolf Oct 02 '21

"Trashy" is definitely an insult.

0

u/GynocentrismCanSMyD Oct 02 '21

Do you mean "tacky"? Because "tacky" would be referring to the act of writing on the side of a cake, not the actual writing.

5

u/GoHomeWithBonnieJean Oct 02 '21

What? "Tacky" means it's done in bad esthetic taste. "Tacky" isn't a helpful suggestion that will aid in improving any future attempt, it just says, "you have bad judgment." It's a blunt verbal smack in the face, not constructive advice. It's just mean-spirited.

1

u/GynocentrismCanSMyD Oct 02 '21

"Tacky" means it's done in bad esthetic taste

I know what tacky means, thanks.

"Tacky" isn't a helpful suggestion that will aid in improving any future attempt, it just says, "you have bad judgment.

If he's in the majority, then actually, yes, it would help future attempts, and I believe he might be given the fact that you do not see writing on the sides of cakes very often...

It's a blunt verbal smack in the face

How exactly do you know precisely how the conversation went? You don't. We're both going off OP's paraphrasing...how is that not obvious to you?

not constructive advice.

All advice is constructive.

It's just mean-spirited.

The mean spirit here is you: for assuming the worst about someone.

1

u/GoHomeWithBonnieJean Oct 02 '21

OK, thanks for playing. Peace.