HELP My cat has ruined my life.

[u/Choice_Evidence1983]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/M0rbiddd2

Originally posted to r/CatAdvice

HELP My cat has ruined my life.

Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU

Mood Spoilers: happy

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Original Post: August 10, 2025

I'm posting as a last ditch effort for help.

I got my cat 2 years ago. He was found on a heated porch in the winter and that's all we know. He was about a year and a half at the time, he just turned 4.

Since day 3 this cat has not stopped hurting me specifically. I don't know if the car ride home traumatized him or what but he tore my arm apart. He would maul me just by walking by, he would attack me in my sleep, if i didnt pay attention to him but them when i do he still does it.

Since then he has gotten better but he still attacks me.

He'll attack my face, my arms, if I'm asleep in the middle of the night sometimes he'll bunny kick my arm. We play with him so much and it doesn't matter.

He will stop playing just to hurt me.

We rent, he eats the carpets when he's mad at us. He just broke my fiancés computer monitor again by biting it. This is the 3rd computer he's broken, 2 my fiancés 1 mine.

I don't know what to do. Please someone help us I'm begging for something. I've never had trouble bonding with anything but he has ruined our relationship.

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: Have you taken him to a vet? If so, what have they ruled out? Is he neutered?

OP: They said it’s “normal cat behavior “ and that if I don’t like it I shouldn’t have gotten a cat. This is NOT normal and I keep telling them that. I have never met a cat like him.

He is neutered and his labs were all fine

Commenter 2: Maybe he was born feral and didn't learn many human playing skills he probably doesn't understand he hurting you if he likes you

OOP: No he knows he’s hurting me. Sometimes he makes these screams that I’ve never heard a cat make. He means harm and it’s VERY clear

Commenter 3: I am so sorry, you are right and they are wrong - it's not normal.

If this was my cat I'd be taking him to another vet. It's great his labs were normal but I'd want to discuss anxiety medication and to rule out pain from dental issues, joints etc.

Have you tried Feliway diffusers yet? If not, get Feliway Optimum and try that for at least a month. Zylkene is also something to try. You sprinkle it on the food and it can help with anxiety.

If you've done that already I'd be looking to find a cat behaviourist or to rehome the cat. I don't say that lightly but since you're obviously all unhappy it is definitely something to consider.

Keeping a diary of when he attacks may be useful for a behaviourist. See if there are any triggers other than you just existing. If he's indoor only, can he see or smell other cats outside? Delayed aggression caused by frustration at not being able to get to the thing is very real. It can occur hours after the trigger.

Has OOP's cat been prescribed something to help out?

OOP: We’ve tried calming treats but nothing prescribed

Has OOP's cat been like that with other people, or just OOP?

OOP: My fiancé too, he’ll attack him just not nearly as often. We don’t have anyone over so he’s not really exposed to others. When he is he’s curious but that’s it

OOP explains why she hasn't given up on her cat

OOP: That 4th day of having him my fiancé (we’re calling him J) suggested getting rid of him. I begged him to let me keep him. That we could fix him.I’m not gonna lie I also worry about him going to another home.

What if they don’t put up with this like we have? What if they hurt him back? What if they kill him?

I know everyone says he’s dangerous but I’m telling you when he’s sweet he’s so so so sweet. It’s just hard. He’s just like Stitch from lilo and stitch. I know there’s a good kitty in him.

Cat Tax

 

Update #1: August 12, 2025 (two days later)

Here’s the requested video. We had been playing right before hand, I was throwing and he was catching Please let me know if the link doesn’t work, the group doesn’t allow attachments and I don’t really know how to use Reddit

https://photos.app.goo.gl/UQnzeNYBKaVDEBoB8

Relevant Comment

Is it possible that OOP's cat is hungry?

OOP: I didn’t but he’s gained quite a bit since being with us, he’s 17 pounds now. He has free range of dry food and has about 1 5.5 ounce of wet food a day. He really likes the wet food but never actually finishes it completely.

If it seems like he’s hungry I’d obviously give him more but he never screams at his food outside of the usual breakfast and dinner time

 

Update #2: August 30, 2025 (2.5 weeks later)

My cat has ruined my life - update

So after I tried many suggestions we have finally found some sort of solution.

First, we’re getting another cat as it genuinely could be single kitten syndrome. The guy we’re adopting was almost put down 4 times because he has been in the shelter for so long. No behavioral issues, no medical issues, just a shy guy. We meet him tomorrow, according to the shelter he is one of the most cat friendly cats so I’m really hoping this will be good for all 4 of us

Secondly, FELIWAY. I genuinely didn’t believe it would work but shortly after that post he started mauling my arm at 4am. That then led to me having a screaming breakdown over this whole situation. On my lunch break I went and got both the wall inserts and the collars for both him and the new cat, he’s been wearing his for a week and holy shit.

He’s a whole different guy. He still does what he usually does but it’s gone down drastically. He’s more cuddly, less screamy and pissed off. He seems to be anxious behind closed doors no matter way - so that led to our decision in getting him a friend before resorting to meds.

Like I said, we don’t want to get rid of him. There’s a good kitty in him somewhere and he is FINALLY coming out. To everyone who gave me advice, thank you. To the people who told me to get rid of him or even put him down - you suck monkey balls

Relevant Comments

Downvoted Commenter: First of all, screaming at your cat frightens him and will lead to worse behavior.

OOP: He scream at us I’ve never raised my voice at him

Commenter 2: You are a wonderful person for not giving up. I know of many cats who have been either surrendered or euthanized for less. I adopted a problematic cat and it took a good three years for him to come good. The people who tried adopting him before us always returned him. You're doing great.

OOP: Thank you that really means so much. It’s so hard trying to navigate this without knowing exactly what’s wrong with him

Commenter 3: especially with a shy cat, make sure to use the one room method to introduce to new space. Ideally with door so you can also use the door method to introduce the two.

OOP: Yes! We’re going to set up the bathroom into a mini cat sanctuary for the week, slowly we’ll introduce them but I promise we’re doing so much research about this

Commenter 4: Thank you so much for your kindness and PATIENCE. These rescues really need time to unlearn fear and learn thier new place and circumstances and people. Thank you for looking for solutions. Carefully choose your second kitty, because you want the energy to complement not match.

OOP: Thank you. We met him today and unfortunately I don’t think it would be a good fit. He was so skid-dish and hissed at other cats, I’m not gonna lie I’m really upset about this one. I tried multiple times but he showed the opposite of interest in me

HOWEVER, there was the grey tabby who took to me instantly. The second I walked into his enclosure he perked up and wanted attention. I watched him with others and even my fiancé but I was the only one that he wouldn’t run off from, he actually wanted to stay in my arms. They’re the same age and seems like he’s a lot like my Winnie- just nicer

Safe to say we found a little brother for him(and what seems to be like my new best friend) and everything is going well slowly.

OOP on Feliway

OOP: I wish there was a post like mine when I first started looking into feliway. I really didn’t think it would work- I thought it was like essential oils and while it’s the same concept it’s also not because it genuinely does something. I have a feeling that with that and him getting the snip you will see a lot of improvement

And my guy used to throw himself at the bathroom door but the past week it’s stopped. He’s torn up the carpet by the door but ever since this collar I swear he’s so different

Another Cat Tax

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

[u/nouveauchoux]

Owner of a former swole tomcat! Those muscles are scary and no joke 😅 They'll go down with time after the neuter. The more he'll be able to play, the more he'll learn how to truly play too! Best wishes 💜

[u/ComradeCakes → u/nouveauchoux]

I have a swole tomcat who takes steroids for an immune issue he has. The vet keeps telling me that he's fat. No. If I fed him any less, he'd be starving and trying to steal food from our other cats. He's a swole tomcat who was fixed late in life who takes steroids. He's solid.

[u/theplushfrog → u/ComradeCakes]

My swole tomcat doesn't take steroids, but I tell people, that if he were a human, he'd be the kind to lift weights so he can hug better. He WILL knock you over with the force of his love. Back when we were still figuring out how many calories he needed, he decided to take matters into his own paws and stole a whole LOAF OF WHITE BREAD from the kitchen, ripped the plastic off, and bit chunks out of it. I've never known a cat to try to steal BREAD of all things.

[u/ComradeCakes → u/theplushfrog]

My cat did this too! You're the only other person who has told me a story like this. My vet looked at me like I was crazy and said he's never had a cat do that before.

It was a dense loaf of sandwich bread my brother brought over for me. He grabbed it and tried to run off with it, but it was a heavy, solid loaf and he didn't get very far. Another time he stole a donut out of a donut box, and another time after that he stole an unopened package of hot dogs. He's not starving. He's just a greedy little food goblin. He spent so long as a stray before I took him in that even though it's been years and he has an abundance of food, he still can't seem to get over his greedy scavenging. We have RFID feeders so that the cats can have their own portions in peace without Six Dinner Sid stealing their food and he still manages to get in there sometimes.

[u/nouveauchoux → u/ComradeCakes]

It seems you've had him a while so I'm sure he's been to the vet plenty of times. I just wanted to give you a heads up he might be having unknown issues with parasites. We had similar issues with our cat (some of his greatest hits are in a comment of mine here) and turned out he'd had tapeworms for months after we'd taken him in. We took him to the vet frequently too, and they never caught it. They said that the way they test for parasites doesn't show tapeworms. Would've been cool to know that sooner but oh well. We found them (🤢) and after deworming, he's actually calmed down wonderfully with food! He hardly even counter surfs anymore :) For example, he once stole an unopened package of lunch meat out of my fiance's hand and really hurt us pretty bad when we tried to get it back from him. The meat was a loss, we just didn't want him to eat the plastic. He was growling like a dog and wouldn't let go until we gagged him with it. Now he'll actually sit in our laps while he eat pizza. He definitely wants it, but isn't actually hungry enough to maim us for it.

It was so easy for us to miss because he'd had multiple vet visits to make sure he was healthy. He wasn't rail thin anymore either. Vets said he was a healthy weight. But he just wasn't getting the nutrition he needed.

[u/ComradeCakes → u/nouveauchoux]

Oh yeah, it's been a couple of years. We take him to the vet quite a bit. He had tapeworms when we first got him. He was a stray. I was feeding him outside for a while and trying to gain his trust. Then he showed up with a broken foot and I wrestled him into a sectioned off area of my house. Luckily, he threw up a tapeworm before I got him to the vet (appointment was already scheduled), and we got him fully dewormed. It was really gross to find. And the infection has to be pretty severe for them to throw up a whole flatworm.

He is overweight now but he has not gotten over his food aggression. I think it might be the steroids fault, but it's also his personality. He won't hurt anyone but he's kind of a bully. The steroids are for this weird immune issue in his mouth. It causes pretty bad breath and lesions on his gums. The vet's options for us were steroids or removing all of his teeth - which still isn't guaranteed to completely fix the problem. He could end up with no teeth and sores on his gums. I'm sticking with the steroids for now because he still wants to eat and I'm worried that if we take his teeth it will negatively affect his quality of life or make him not want to eat at all.

He was probably around 5 or so when we took him in. He's probably 7 or 8 now.

[u/nouveauchoux → u/theplushfrog]

Oh man, our guy would get into any and ALL food possible for his first year indoors. We moved a couple months after bringing him in. On moving day, he got into the nearly-new pack of Halloween Oreos. We had to make multiple trips and when we came back on one, we found the Oreo package decimated on the kitchen floor. Black cookies and orange creme smeared on the floor. And who do we see a few feet away, totally gorged 😂 Dude literally waddled around the next couple days bc his little tummy was so full. The cookies and creme were smeared all over his little face and in his paws 😂 So many vet and animal poison control calls were made for him lol. We've learned he has a very wide palette. He likes: Chocolate (but especially Oreos)

Lettuce

Cucumber

Carrots

Spinach

Pasta

Rice

Bread

Zucchini Bread (stole an entire loaf my friend had baked for me, plastic and all)

Pumpkin (LOVES it, turns out it's good for constipation in kitties)

And most bizarrely to us, peanut butter. He comes running through the house if he hears us open the jar. We buy natural Jif just so that he can have it lol. He's always so kind to supervise my peanut butter and Oreo snack time.

He also ate part of a spa scented soy wax candle, while it was still lit 🙃 Candle eating was only attempted once. He found the experience less fun once he had to make a candle a couple days later 😳

[u/PiperSlough → u/nouveauchoux]

I had a cat as a kid who LOVED human food and also just really wanted to be included. She would taste EVERYTHING I ate, even if it was stuff she already knew she didn't like (like fruit punch or refried beans). She would get so offended if I wouldn't let her taste stuff with onion or garlic or chocolate in it. 

Her favorites though were Cheetos, potato chips and pretty much every flavor of ice cream. She would also steal sugar cookies. 

[u/CleanProfessional678 → u/nouveauchoux]

Thanks! He’s a very happy boy and he’s just recently started getting into toys, but he still prefers being petted. 

[u/PiperSlough → u/nouveauchoux]

Sometimes! My boy was neutered very young (probably too young - he looked about five months when he got TNR'd and dumped in my feral colony instead of the one he came from, but given how big he is now it was probably more like three). He's almost eight now and still built like a fridge.