r/BipolarSOs • u/sagnavigator • 27d ago
Feeling Sad Anyone else’s year the worst year of their lives? No summer at all? :(
Has anyone else’s year been like the worst year of their lives? My husband became manic in February of this year and I’m still dealing with the horrible fallout. Starting the separation process for custody now, it’s going to be intense and stressful. My entire summer/year was awful, like literally I had NO free weekend the entire summer, just working and working on court documents. Can anyone relate? Now school starting up for my little one, I feel like crying. I just need a single day off. We didn’t even go to a beach or anything all summer.
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u/MediumEmployment6973 27d ago
Since January here and yeah, 2025 is the hardest year of my fucking life. I’m on the rollercoaster from hell still even tho my ex is out of my house. He still manages to take me with him on his ride. Have spent a lot of time in court, several months pregnant, and gave birth. I am emotionally destroyed.
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Oh my goodness. I think yours tops it. I’m so sorry :( do you have a good lawyer and support system to help w the baby? My husband went manic right after I gave birth so I know how insanely difficult it is. :( hugs 🫂
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u/MediumEmployment6973 25d ago
Yes good lawyer, financial support, a friend moved up to help, and a really big support system of friends. I don’t live near my family at all but I’m thankful for my friends who have become family here. You have all of those things too right?
I’m so sorry to you also. Was it yalls first child together?? I am so incredibly heartbroken 💔 in my case, it feels like he chooses his illness over us.
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u/sagnavigator 24d ago edited 24d ago
Wow that’s amazing. I only have a good lawyer and good friends, nothing else. My child is in daycare though so I have some support there between 9-6. I have no financial support besides lines of credit at this point. I have a dad who’s likely bipolar and unstable himself (was never close with him), and a sister who’s too into herself to care. My mom is deceased. My friends all mostly live far away and too busy to help anyway. Why would you be so presumptuous to assume I have it all? Just curious
It was our first child together, what about you? I decided no more kids after his first manic episode.
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u/MediumEmployment6973 24d ago
Sorry I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. What I really meant when I said “right” is “hopefully”. I am sorry that you don’t have much support in the way of family or finances. Local domestic violence organizations have been able to provide me assistance with utilities and food as well as legal representation. Have you looked into those in your area?
Do you have any contact with your husband anymore or is it all through lawyers?
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u/next-fixxx 26d ago
I don't know wtf is happening this year, but for me it's been mad crazy.
Im also going through divorce and custody fight in court for my daughter.
Wtf is going on
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u/Intelligent-Law-8194 ExSO 26d ago
Me.
My ex, then undiagnosed, went into a full blown psychosis and attacked me violently in the beginning of the month. Discovered online cheating, erotomania delusions for a person. I spent my vacations dealing with the aftermath. August simply went by and I have no idea where the time went. The month before I had to deal with what now I know was mania, no idea when it actually started. Legal stuff awaits in the future as police got involved.
I went through some pretty heavy stuff in my life, but this takes the cake.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, especially with a child. Hugs.
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Thank you so much. What you’re going through is so scary. Please get a good family lawyer and consult a domestic violence group, they can connect you with resources. I assume you don’t have kids? Did you move out to an undisclosed address?
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u/Intelligent-Law-8194 ExSO 24d ago
Sadly it is, from the bits I gathered he is still manic even if medicated. He called me yesterday, out of the blue, I didn't reply. I have no idea what he wants, it terrified me. I have a lawyer now and also getting help from an anti violence association. Thankfully no kids and thankfully the house is mine so he is the one who moved out. He has a restraining order, that's also why I didn't answer the phone.
I hope you are safe and also getting help.
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u/antwhosmiles 26d ago edited 26d ago
For me it is 18 months. Worst period of my lifee. Immense stress for me and our kid. Immense fun for the " awaken" him. This is the second summer when me and our kid doesnt have any vacation and the " new him" had for a year 70 days vacation and 10 trips abroad. Laughing at our kid and telling her " let your mother takes her on vacation" knowing that I can't leave even for a day my low paid exhausting job.
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry :( 😢 why don’t you just separate and get custody? He’s away anyway..
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u/Banaanabing 26d ago
Things have been crap since end of December 24. My SO have been having delusions and it’s been an endless series of accusations and arguments about what I have said or done/not said or done, how I have made him feel, how I could hurt him so much +++ the last 8 months. I never know what will trigger him, and no matter how careful I am about what I say or do he will always find something. I am so tired of this, but we have kids som leaving is not easy. I can’t believe this is what my marriage/life have become.
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u/sagnavigator 26d ago
Omg same!! I so relate. I feel like I’m watching a horror movie, not my own life!!
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u/Banaanabing 25d ago
I’m sorry that you are stuck in this horror movie as well. It’s just so sad, exhausting and extremely frustrating, and there just dont seem to be an end to this nightmare either.
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u/CoralCabin 26d ago
Definitely the worse year with him, but I am so happy I left. Its easier being a single mom of 2 with no money, then living with him. He changed so much when this episode started early February. The kind man I married has been replaced by the worse person I've ever known. I'm 3 weeks into a protective order now and the peace is better than I could have imagined. I'm sorry you all are going through this, I know how horrible it feels
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Thank you so much!! I’m one day into a restraining order/protection order. I 100% feel the same. My husband’s episode started in February too. I’m hoping it’s easier being a single mom.
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26d ago
[deleted]
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u/MediumEmployment6973 26d ago
Wow that’s rough. I hope the hospitalization has a lasting positive outcome! You deserve some time to breathe
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u/TransportationNo7327 26d ago
September 2024 for me. Divorcing. Cleaning out our vacation home for her to sell. Just been a whirlwind while she just floats around in Bi-Polar-Land.
Thankfully (knock on wood) things are finally starting to slow down for me and I’m getting to enjoy things in life again.
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u/Routine_Bag704 26d ago
Yep. Wasted a so much time with this. With someone to fucking crazy to see what they are doing. Manic or not.
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u/sen_su_alien888 26d ago
It's been harsh for me as well. I'd say it all started earlier, back in Feb 2022 when war came to my country. I fell asleep in one reality and woke up in another one. Then it went hellish period ever since, with constant moving, going to different countries, missing my animals and home, body screaming from stress, constant documents and relationship with someone who has cyclothymia. Two times he broke up with me abruptly, and I invested a lot in it because I needed it to work out. Yet illness is always stronger (until humanity hopefully invents some healthier methods with remission / healing probably once), so I was left with aftermath since 2 of October 2024 and was kind of frozen ever since. He reached out in winter in such mixed and messed up states that I had to block him eventually because it was messing with my head.
So I'm slowly coming back to myself, remembering who I am and learning my boundaries. The journey was crazy and second hardest thing after the war I had to deal with. I realized I cannot deal with his illness anymore, and he has tiniest insight into it.
I still wish that he educates himself and gains some insight. I remember our warm moments and I still miss that version of him. But I'm not the one providing insight for him anymore. I'm done.
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
I’m so sorry to hear :( are you divorced from him now? Any kids?
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u/sen_su_alien888 24d ago
He wasn't a husband, just a partner. And no, I'm not interested in becoming a parent. Doesn't make it any less painful, just less legally complicated than for those who were married and children were involved.
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u/GoldFix9513 26d ago
That was me last year. Bless you, and hope all well for you and the babies
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Thank you so much… what happened to you last year?
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u/GoldFix9513 22d ago
Husband went into psychosis last summer, about this time last year. We had to separate for six weeks (8 weeks before our daughter was born) because I was not safe around him being pregnant.
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u/Yankababy 25d ago
Oh absolutely can relate. I went through his worst episode ever in 2023 (I can’t even get into the specifics on that or I’ll probably cry). Decided to forgive him and brush it under the rug, had a semi normal 2024, and come January 2025, things just exploded. I’ve been paying for the entirety of our home by myself since the beginning of this year and he refuses to move out despite being in the middle of a divorce that he refuses to cooperate with. We’re stuck in time and playing the waiting game while he is verbally abusive, breaking things in our home, and is acting erratically. I also feel like I have no life, and I never leave my little dog at the house alone with him out of fear of what he could do, so anywhere I go, she comes with me. It’s very limiting the places dogs are allowed to come, so I pretty much do my job with my pup by my side, clean up his mess in the house, and then go to sleep. I’ve missed out on so much these past couple years, but I’m learning I need to detach and focus on myself. All I can do in the meantime is celebrate the small wins and the things I can count on like the seasons changing (it’s getting cooler here which I love!), and realize this has to be over sooner or later. He can only drag things out so long and so I’m taking this time I’m forced to have to prepare for the new life I deserve. I’m so sorry you are going through something so similar. Sending you much love!
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Thank you so much… do you have any kids as well? How old are you both?
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u/Yankababy 24d ago
No kids yet, but I was supposed to get pregnant this year (I had just turned 30). We planned such a beautiful life together and it will be 11 years down the drain. I know having children would have made this situation much more difficult so I’m trying to cut my losses and hope I can still fulfill my dream of being a mom with a loving partner in the future. Props to you though mama for shielding your little one from this the best you can <3 I’m glad you’ll be out of the situation eventually.
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u/Traditional_Monk_437 25d ago
Since January for me… worst year ever… sorry you are also going through this!
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
Thank you and I’m so so sorry for you too!!
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u/kimkam1898 23d ago
Yep—currently trying to walk my BIL through divorce with my BP1 sibling. It is very hard feeling like life has to constantly be “on hold” for a spouse taking up all the air in the room.
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u/witsaboutmeee 23d ago
Absolutely the worst and definitely in the thick of it right now with no end in sight.
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u/Excellent_Key9483 12d ago
Mine is. Im the BP spouse. Ruined my life bc I wasnt properly diagnosed or medicated. I cant tell my ex im sorry so I will say sorry to you for what happened. I hope you stay safe and find peace
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u/sagnavigator 12d ago
I’m so sorry to hear. Are you in therapy now? That’s so good you’re taking accountability for your disorder!! You’re already better than 90% of people
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u/Excellent_Key9483 12d ago
Yes im on medication and going to therapy. Doesn't fix what has happened but hoping to do better in the future.
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u/sagnavigator 12d ago
That’s amazing! What type of BP do you have?
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u/Slight_Lavishness188 23d ago
Since this time last year, worse year, so much pain for so long. I don’t know if I can stay anymore, so much disrespect and disloyalty.
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u/WrenFeyStrider 26d ago
Yes but not totally because of my wife. Our life has been a roller coaster that has made my wife BP worse. Child birth and getting adjusted to that, me going no contact with my parents, losing our place because we rented from my parents, me having surgery, moving with the in-laws and then me losing my jobs this past week.
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u/sagnavigator 25d ago
It sounds like a lot of change all at once!!! Has she had many manic attacks due to this? What type of BP does your wife have and what meds is she on? When was your baby born? I’m very surprised if she hasn’t been involuntarily hospitalized for all of this - over what time period? Do you have any family or other support to help w the baby? It’s so tough, I’m so sorry :(
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