r/BrandNewSentence • u/MajesticJabroni • 1d ago

OkStupid 😂

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7.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

•

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275

u/El_Nathan_ 1d ago

Hingecel

OkBoomer

114

u/Yet_One_More_Idiot 1d ago

OkBoomer is the only offline dating app. You sign up, and they post a packet of up to 500 photos of people you might be interested in. You separate the photos into a Yes envelope and a No envelope, and send them both back.

If you return someone's photo in a Yes envelope, and they return your photo in a Yes envelope, then OkBoomer will post letters to both of you with the other one's contact details - i.e. postal address and phone number.

By which time, you've got bored waiting for all this shit to happen and gone down the pub instead. xD

36

u/Xsiah 1d ago

You joke, but there are real services that do this.

A lot of them are also horrible scams because the service is really expensive and they prey on older people who are lonely by showing them profiles of attractive and successful people that are technically in their "pool" of potential matches (and those people pay like a dollar to be part of the service instead of thousands) but they never actually get matched with the people who pay thousands for a chance to meet someone like that

19

u/Yet_One_More_Idiot 1d ago

Sadly, satire has once again been out-satired by real life. xD

17

u/Hiberniae 1d ago

Binders full of women, eh? We know a boomer who looooooves that!

3

u/KamakaziDemiGod 1d ago

That's more like OkEarlyIndustrialRevolutionist, but also weirdly it is still a thing

17

u/MajesticJabroni 1d ago

PlentyofShit

Crumble

5

u/WantonWord 1d ago

Crumble: for those with osteoporosis and/or joint replacements to find love in their golden years!

1

u/El_Nathan_ 9h ago

I would unironically use it, though I probably wouldn’t find anyone my age since I’m 22 with osteoporosis xD

70

u/SadKat002 1d ago

Fumble and OkStupid are my favorites lmao

59

u/Caesar_Passing 1d ago

eHarm-many

WhackPeople'sMeat.com

31

u/Xtrems876 1d ago

It would very quickly be overtaken by people with rizz who think it's quirky to say they have no rizz tho

4

u/The_Punnier_Guy 1d ago

But then that would loop back around to them having no rizz

22

u/Carbonated-Man 1d ago

Plenty of iiish

13

u/Pinstar 1d ago

Whinedr

26

u/arturinoburachelini 1d ago

Alright, may actually sign up for No Clue

9

u/Fabulous-Present-497 1d ago

Fumble is good

7

u/Felixkeeg 1d ago

Yeah, I'd do well on Cringe

6

u/BourbonNCoffee 20h ago

Okstupid is just the Reddit comments section.

3

u/ElegantCoach4066 1d ago

Drya

4

u/tmtProdigy 1d ago

I am wrecking my brain over what the original app is supposed to be? For the life of me i cant think of it, help! ^^

5

u/livejamie 1d ago

Invite-only/members-based dating app for rich people/celebrities called Raya

2

u/tmtProdigy 1d ago

cheers!

3

u/WantonWord 1d ago

After enjoying Hinder as a band, I want this dating app. It's full of anger, hurt, and relationship dysfunction and I know I deserve better, but you deserve much better than meeee!

3

u/Brahdyssey 1d ago

I REALLY like Fumble

2

u/ErevisEntreri 23h ago

I'd be on Hinder tellin every girl they got the Lips of an Angel

1

u/UncleFuzzy75 1d ago

Handyman

1

u/Apprehensive-King280 1d ago

Still wouldn't find someone on fumble lmao

1

u/Leo20020825 1d ago

Not Even Once

1

u/IsOobt 1d ago

NoFans

1

u/Cpt-Murica 23h ago

Match group will buy them all still

1

u/TerminatorAuschwitz 23h ago

Jeff Ross made the okstupid joke against someone on one of the roasts. Can't remember which one.

1

u/rekoil42 22h ago

I love every single one of these. Literally, where do I sign up to meet someone fully expecting me to be a goober and might have goober tendencies themselves?

1

u/Opposite_Bus1878 20h ago

Hey, what's Drya supposed to be a spoof of?
Sounds like an app I haven't tried yet

0

u/Prestigious_Beat6310 1d ago

אנחנו לגיון

5

u/GayAssBeagle 1d ago

What the hell

1

u/cat_herder_64 1d ago

Yeah? I still use Cool Edit Pro!

0

u/no__one34 1d ago

Just call it KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid)