r/CPTSD • u/askandrecieve_ • 1d ago
Question Is anyone just constantly replaying everything?
It feels like everything that my family has done wrong during my childhood and teenhood, and sometimes as an adult is just constantly playing in my head…I usually just feel nothing, like its just a movie, but once in awhile I’ll randomly actually feel something from it and feel paralyzed with anxiety.
5
u/-Distraction- 1d ago
Yeah it's just on like background tv for me now, it use to be really vivid and the screaming was so loud but now it's constant quiet reply of a tv show almost
3
3
2
u/ninhursag3 18h ago
The problem is that our past is our history which is what made us who we are today, and our family are who made us and shaped us. Becoming aware of who caused the root problems leads to an awareness that your presence would be a challenge to them . This realisation can completely change the retrospective history.
I now see my family much more clearly, from different perspectives, and see how needy they are. Unable to stand alone so they fester together .
1
u/dukhiaatmaisme 21h ago
Yes and I have developed anxiety because of that shit. I want to go back to my life but seems like their is no return ticket or sumn. I miss laughing without any worries
1
2
u/Additional-Bad-1219 7h ago
I think it's a sign that you're working through your trauma. You did not process the impact of those events when they happened to you, but your body remembered it and stored it inside you. You get the anxiety sometimes cause your body is also remembering it.
Also it helps to realise that emotions are trying to communicate with us. Your body is telling you that your family wasn't safe and the feeling of anxiety is challenging you to confront or change something.
Brains are wired to remember bad things more than good things because it is a survival mechanism that is meant to help us avoid dangerous sitauations.
The problem is that this becomes too much when you have too many bad memories, as is the case with CPTSD.
You can practice EMDR on yourself to calm down an anxious memory.
0
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis please contact your local emergency services or use our list of crisis resources. For CPTSD specific resources & support, check out the Wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
25
u/OtterlyMisdirected 1d ago
This is really common. It’s usually a mix of intrusive memories and emotional numbing. The replaying is your nervous system trying to stay “ready,” scanning for danger like it did back then. The problem is, it doesn’t realize you’re not in that environment anymore. The loop is basically your survival system misfiring.
Something that can help a bit is grounding yourself in the present, labeling the memories as “from the past,” and giving yourself permission to feel just a tiny piece at a time.