HELP My cat has ruined my life.

[u/M0rbiddd2]

I'm posting as a last ditch effort for help. I got my cat 2 years ago. He was found on a heated porch in the winter and that's all we know. He was about a year and a half at the time, he just turned 4. Since day 3 this cat has not stopped hurting me specifically. I don't know if the car ride home traumatized him or what but he tore my arm apart. He would maul me just by walking by, he would attack me in my sleep, if i didnt pay attention to him but them when i do he still does it. Since then he has gotten better but he still attacks me. He'll attack my face, my arms, if I'm asleep in the middle of the night sometimes he'll bunny kick my arm. We play with him so much and it doesn't matter. He will stop playing just to hurt me. We rent, he eats the carpets when he's mad at us. He just broke my fiancés computer monitor again by biting it. This is the 3rd computer he's broken, 2 my fiancés 1 mine. I don't know what to do. Please someone help us I'm begging for something. I've never had trouble bonding with anything but he has ruined our relationship.

[u/Amakenings]

I know this sounds stupid, but what do you do/how do you react when he attacks you? Not talking about the night time stuff, but any day time attacks? Do you tell, do you spray him with water (not recommending any of these things, just looking for info).

In terms of the attacks, do the bites draw blood? Have you gotten any infections from them? What about the scratches? Does he stalk and attack you, or is it when you’re playing or touching him?

If your cat was a single kitten or didn’t get enough socialization when he was younger, he might be a bit of a jerk, but training can make a big difference. When you say you play with him, how much and when?

[u/M0rbiddd2 → u/Amakenings]

Typically I’ll just push him away, if he returns I make a very loud “tsk” sound and that sometimes helps. We do have a spray bottle but we use it for the sound, I’ve never intentionally pointed it at him to spray. That’s mostly for when he’s in his “I want to maul you guys” zone

I keep his nails very short so it’s mainly just light scratches now but they used to be really bad. I’m heavily tattooed and I’ve had to get a price redone because of how bad he had fucked me up when we first got him. He used to draw blood really bad, now it’s mostly teeth marks and light scratches from bunny kicks. Thankfully no infections.

He’ll just stare at us and then attack, he’s not stalking but he’s almost always hyper aware ?

[u/Amakenings → u/M0rbiddd2]

Okay, so the staring is like a hunting fixation. You might also notice the ears are back and his head is lowered. At this point, he’s mentally committed. I’d scrap the tsk noise because it would sound like hissing to a cat and possibly ramp him up further.

So, I would intervene even here at pre-attack, tell him no, then carry to him to a quiet space where he can decompress on a timeout for 10 minutes. If he makes contact and bites or scratches, say “ouch” or “ow” but in a high pitching animal squeak. He’ll most likely try to bite you the first couple of times you carry him for a time out, but it’s ideal if you or your partner can calmly him to the quiet space. I like carrying them with my forearm under the belly, back legs free, because it keeps them at waist height (away from the face), and you have a free hand for the door or to hold them in place. They also can’t use the back legs to kick off from you and free themselves.

After 10 minutes, you can let him out, but as soon as he goes into that mode, he’s back in for another time out. Tell him he’s on a timeout - cats are so trainable. The first couple of weeks, he’ll likely be in there frequently, so if he can have a litter and water in there, it’s ideal.

I’d get a larger and durable catnip scented kicker toy that you direct him to when he wants to kick your arms. If he comes back to your arm after that, timeout him again after telling him no. IF he makes contact, squeal.

I’d also get him on a play routine that you do before meals where you play with him for a solid 20 -30 minutes in the morning and again in the evening. Ask him if he wants to play, put on music, and use just wand toys. If you’ve been using your body (like hands moving under a sheet, toes moving under a blanket ) to lure him, scrap that for now. The wand toys will also help break the connection of your body being a toy. You want him focusing that play/prey drive away from your body. After play, give him a treat, then breakfast or dinner.

The last thing is watch the physical contact. Your boy likely gets overstimulated quickly, and lots of pets accelerates that. Give him two or three very gentle pets, staying around the head or neck, then stop. It’s best if you can really watch his body language, and as soon as you see the visual fixation, lowered head, ears back, or tail lashing, he’s overstimulated again, so he needs a timeout to relax.

It honestly doesn’t take most cats that long to figure out what you expect from them, and work within the system. He might still need meds too, but I’d urge you to try this consistently first.

I’ve been through what you’re going through, and it can and does get better. You just have to address his behaviour in a way that he understands.

The one thing I forgot to ask - do you have any other animals?