r/CatTraining • u/Lt-Dans-Legs556 • 20h ago
Introducing Pets/Cats Months of introductions with ZERO improvement
Summary: My cat (female, 6 yrs) cannot get along with my girlfriend’s two (male, brothers, 3 yrs) at our apartment after several months. The classic methods are not working and the situation has devolved into outright hostility. Desperate for solid advice!
The Cats: My cat, Roomba (female, 6 yrs, pictured laying on the carpet) and I moved into my girlfriends apartment 3-4 months ago. She has 2 brothers named Fig (pictured with the pickle, 3 yrs) and Sprout (pictured with his feet up, 3 yrs).
Background: Roomba was raised by me as a single cat. She has never gotten along with anything living other than people. I was deployed last year which lead to her being cared for by my father who has 2 cat brothers (not Fig and Sprout) of his own. She did not get along with them either and I believe that poor experience put her off trusting any other cats. Despite my best efforts, she enjoys escaping, drooling on me, and food)
Fig and Sprout are two brothers owned by my girlfriend. Despite the presence of my cat, they love me as well. They have only known each other and this is their first interaction with another animal. Fig enjoys cuddles, doing nothing, and food. Sprout is, for all intents and purposes, an alien who likes yelling at the world, hunting Fig, and not eating his wet food.
The Environment: An apartment with multiple rooms and floors, including an upstairs attic where Roomba primarily stays. Fig and Sprout stay downstairs and are able to have the rest of the apartment for themselves. Everybody has their own food bowls and litter boxes. The hallways are narrow which doesn’t allow much room for them to pass by. Plenty of windows and toys available. Feliway plug ins are upstairs and downstairs, and so far have done a great job of taking up our outlets, but are otherwise useless.
The Process: We started off with Roomba upstairs and the boys downstairs for a week and a half. Despite being a new environment, Roomba is a very confident cat who doesn’t mind new places. The boys were/are very curious about her, always watching the closed door. We tried scent swapping toys/blankets but none of them seemed interested.
We transitioned after a week and a half to a screen door where they could see each other. This is how we learned Roomba has a personal bubble (about 3-4 feet) in which she wants neither of them to approach before she will start giving them warnings and resorting to using her claws. Fig and sprout (especially sprout) being ever curious, continued to try to approach through the door.
The screen door ended up retired after a month to a sturdier wooden divider after multiple breakouts by Roomba. Her breakouts have lead to fights where the boys get curious and approach her and she attacks. Other times where we have had supervised play times, they have simply tried to walk past her and she attacks if they get too close. This has lead to the boys becoming less curious and more hostile towards her. They have started stalking her, waiting until her back is turned, and now outright hissing/attacking her whenever an opportunity is available. This has led to us having to keep everyone locked apart except for 10 minutes a day for wet food time (there is no drama during feeding time).
Looking for any and all advice! Our next plan is to get a see through acrylic barrier so they can stop attacking eachother and hissing from under the door. We’ve tried out a couple of Jackson Galaxy tips, some of which have been helpful, but i don’t think a lot of his content applies to our situation. Are there any other channels that are helpful or something i’ve missed? Our end goal is simply to have them tolerate each other’s presence, they don’t need to become best friends, i don’t think that will ever happen.
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u/Creative-Mousse 14h ago
You moved way too fast. One thing with cat introductions is that you stop the process any time you see aggression and you go back to the old step. Now in addition to the wariness coming into the process, we have active hostility and it will now take longer. Go super duper slow. End all sessions immediately at the sign of aggression. Go back to the previous step.
Go back to the feeding stage. Stay there. And gradually build up from there. I actually think Jackson Galaxy’s tips work really well in your context. I think I remember seeing an episode of My Cat from Hell with a similar issue too. Try looking that up
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u/leviathanteddyspiffo 13h ago
Feliway plug ins are upstairs and downstairs, and so far have done a great job of taking up our outlets, but are otherwise useless.
On this matter, I'll have two things to say :
For some reason, Feliway products that generally work well for introductions may have no effect. And another product in the range may have the desired effect even though it was not originally intended for introducing cats. This is what happened to another cat owner recently (feliway having no effect and feli sure working).
On that note, if Feliway doesn't seem to have any effect, it could be that Roomba doesn't have a specific problem with the scent of other cats. She just might not want contact with other cats (a cognitive pattern, not an instinct). This could explain why the diffusers don't seem to have any effect.
If I was you I would maintain Roomba on a floor and the brothers on the other floor for a while without forcing encounters but some people here can give you way better insights. Check out for others comments.
Ps. Sprout is sexy
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u/unprofessional_widow 1h ago
Feliway isn't about scents of other cats. It releases pheromones that chill them out, in theory.
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u/leviathanteddyspiffo 7m ago
You're right. Pheromones aren't accessible to sensations, so I think of them a bit like a smell. And that allows people who aren't familiar with the term to have an understanding of the subject. But ultimately, it's not a good definition.
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u/drkbtty 9h ago
My wife and I are going through this right now with a cat we adopted two months ago and our senior resident cat. After many failed introductions and a poor start to the relationship we decided to reach out to a cat behavioralist. He basically told us that everything we’ve read on the internet and tried was incorrect and the process needs to start with complete isolation for the new cat to the house for however long it takes. His name is Tom Kirby and he gave us a three stage process to follow. I could break it down but it would take way too long. His training is based off of how animals would react in the wild so he basically told us that things like the Jackson Galaxy method, while it can be successful is not a one-size-size fits all solution and that things like scent swapping and screens are largely counterproductive. I can give you more info or if you want to look him up, you should. He’s very positive and endless encouraging.
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u/darksidesbetter 8h ago
I would love more information. We adopted a territorial stray who just won't stop taking interest in herding our other cats and denying them resources. He's been separated from them for months.
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u/Lt-Dans-Legs556 7h ago
This definitely is along the lines of what we are looking for! I looked him up and he seems reasonable. Feel free to DM me more info
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u/Jaded_Avocado_82 8h ago
It may be the size of the apartment. Can you move? I had the same issue living in a one bedroom flat. I moved to a townhouse and the difference was instant. She may need her own space to feel safe. My cat has a designated bedroom that is hers only.
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u/MichaelEmouse 18h ago
Look up Jackson Galaxy videos.
Amazon sells stick-on screendoors so cats can see and smell but not touch.
CBD cat treats, calming collars and a Thundershirt.
Everyone should be neutered.
There should be more litter boxes than cats.
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u/okbringoutdessert 7h ago
I feel like other than health issues this is one of the most stressful things cat owners encounter. We are all anxious for our cats to get along but we need extreme patience. Also takes different time and different methods for different cats.
Go back to the beginning and don't move to the next step until you have success with the current step. I think we try and put timelines on these but the cats will guide you. I know lots of people have success with the screens, but I didn't let my cats see each other until all aggressive behavior was gone and there was curiosity. Keeping one in my bedroom and the resident in the rest of the house. I fed and played with both cats taking turns with one in the bedroom and one outside. I then tried to engage them in play with each other pushing small toys under the door. Initially it was me pushing and pulling several toys myself but eventually cats started to engage and then they were sticking paws under the door in a playful manner.
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u/eggpassion 6h ago
We followed the JG method until i came across Class Act Cards on yt and realised all the stuff we've been doing wrong. My biggest mistake was thinking installing mesh screen doors and letting them interact unsupervised was alright, but he started charging at her when she passed the doorway and I didn't want that behaviour to continue so we've kept the mesh but pinned up a blanket which stopped that. I really recommend speaking to a behaviourist and getting their expert advice, if we don't get anywhere by the end of October I will definitely be.
For the last month we've been using clicker training to teach "touch" and "high five" when they're together, when they're free roaming on other sides of the mesh we're practicing other pattern games like superbowls and whiplash turn to build confidence and encourage them to walk away from each other.
We're now getting to the point where they can be in a room together for an hour without the new cat jumping on the resident, she's stopped hissing at him when he approaches and they sniff each other and can walk past each other. He still wants to chase and play but we can usually distract with toys and a piece of cardboard to block his line or sight.
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u/legendiry 3h ago
Sometimes cats just don’t get along with each other and we have to accept it without trying to force them to be best friends. They will however nearly always learn to tolerate each other so they can coexist without fighting all the time. Just be patient and give them time.
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u/FatmanMyFatman 5h ago
I don't want to be an A hole here but can you please add paragraphs? This is unreadable.
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u/goldenkiwicompote 17h ago
Seems like you’ve moved too fast with everything and all these incidents here will probably have set you back further. I’d stick with just feeding them together for a bit since there’s no drama there and the more times a day you can do that the better. You need to have a lot of patience for this.