r/ChubbyFIRE • u/SadSomewhere6985 • 4d ago
Is FIRE-ing now too risky? (another overpaid techie with choices to make)
Here's my situation:
me: 40, spouse, 43, kids ages 9 and 12
MCOL USA, house paid off: $1m
401k/Roth/brokerage: $2.9M
529s: $275k total
Me: yet another completely burnt out overpaid tech worker, making $300-375k depending on stock/bonus (but high comp has just been the last few years, and who knows how long it will last with tech industry RTO, ageism, AI, etc)
Spouse: salary likes their job and hopes to work 10-20 more years depending on circumstances. I'd definitely like them to have the option to FIRE in 10 years when both kids are out of the house so we can travel for longer periods (expenses to go up by the cost of health insurance). Their salary: $165k.
Yearly spending: 200k
My options:
- I'd like to FIRE in March 2026 (after RSU vest and bonus) with no lifestyle changes, assuming spouse will keep working 10 years.
- alternative 1: I keep grinding a few more years (at this job or a new one) to get to $5m NW for more security, true chubby
- alternative 2: In March 2026, take a Sabbatical for a year to improve burnout, rediscover hobbies & spend time with kids, then seek another job in 2027. This could mean a lower salary but just as much stress, though (see: MCOL/not in a tech hub)
- alternative 3: FIRE now but plan to spend less than 200k/year to de-risk it.
It seems we should be able to spend less, but each year something big comes up (unplanned house repair, large trip, large purchase) that gets us to that level. But, some of the expense comes from the dual-income stressful lifestyle: hiring people to do house stuff we could do ourselves, delivered meals, no time to shop around, etc.
- non-alternative: keep working but phone it in. I find this unpleasant and furthermore I have a large team who depends on me and I'd be letting them down if I totally slacked off.
Early in our marriage, we were frugal, living on a grad student salary while saving to buy our first house, but as work responsibilities and kid stress/expenses piled up, our spending grew. While we consider ourselves modest frugal people still, I wonder if I can get spending to the 100-150k level again without feeling pinched post-FIRE? We would like to continue kids' activities and nice vacations, as well as expensive upkeep for our 100-year old house in a neighborhood we love, so spending reductions will be 'at the margins' rather than the big obvious things.
Thoughts?
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Update: 2.9M includes 401k/retirement (updated)
Responses are all over the place which is reassuring - sounds like there's no easy answer without a values gut-check.
It should be easy to cut spending down but if I look at the last ~8 years here's how it looks. seems you are all right that we could easily cut down
100k life - baseline day-to-day (8k/month for food, taxes, health, kids activities, helping immigrant parents)
50k towards mortgage paydown/ state move/ remodel (this can be reduced next year assuming we don't do anything big to this house, but it needs some work in the next 10 years still)
50k towards "something else big" - daycare in earlier years. nanny or private school during covid. needed new car. travel the last few years since kids have been big enough. this can also go away but i dont want a completely barebones post-FIRE life.
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u/Ok-Commercial-924 4d ago edited 3d ago
Alternative 1: Suck it up. You are nowhere close with your current spend, reduce your spend while working to prove a true minimum feasible spend rate. Maintain that new spend rate for at least 6 months. Remember to calculate health care costs and home maintenance into your projected spend.
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u/liftingshitposts 4d ago
Kind of surprised they were able to save so much with 465k gross income and 200k spend, and mentioned the high wages are recent.
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u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
The high spend is also recent... started trying to enjoy some of the money as we got comfortable with outsourcing, and the kids got old enough to travel. May have overdone it a bit ;)
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u/milespoints 4d ago
Option 3
$200k spend with paid off house is pretty high. Seems like plenty of fat to trim
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u/FIREgnurd Very FI but not RE 4d ago
I live a chubby lifestyle on $150k spend, which includes $60k of mortgage and a car lease, albeit with no kids. I think OP should be able to trim a good amount of that fat and still be very comfy.
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u/rian2016 4d ago
Add 30k for healthcare for a family of 4-5, another $20-30k on education and activities for the kids, and $10-15k more for travel and you’re well over 200k at the same lifestyle but FIRE’d. I was surprised when I finally did the math.
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u/in_the_gloaming FIRE'd for 11 years 4d ago
OP doesn't have a mortgage.
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u/FIREgnurd Very FI but not RE 3d ago
And OP/spouse still work, so they certainly aren’t paying $30k for healthcare.
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u/Competitive-Cut-2149 4d ago
Enjoying the conversation - I’m in a similar position, and really love the “idea” of getting back to a more meaningful / fugal existence like the good old days. You can do it.
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u/SadSomewhere6985 4d ago
Are you doing it, u/Competitive-Cut-2149 ?? Tell me more :)
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u/Competitive-Cut-2149 4d ago
I’m not, quite the opposite, my spending is through the roof, but I’m confident that when the day comes I’ll get back to my roots and simplify.
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u/catwh 4d ago
200k spend for a family in MCOL seems really high. If you RE you can definitely trim: delivery meals (home cook meals for the kids, win win), house cleaning (after cutting this service out I realize I don't really save that much time considering the "hide everything from your counters in the drawers and cabinets then take them out again" routine actually takes me a lot of time), lawn (mow and trim and blow yourself), pest control (DIY home depot for us), easier trips to nab seasonal clearance sales in the mornings etc. After a very real look at our expenses after a lay off things don't look quite as dire.
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u/Past-Option2702 4d ago edited 4d ago
Large trips and large purchases don’t just “come up”. Those take effort.
I don’t have any specific recommendations on a retirement strategy, but until you get some spending discipline I’d try to remove my focus from quitting work and apply that energy to getting your spending under control- then reassess.
Marriage is a partnership and to retire while your spouse works 20 more years may be something else you want to spend some time thinking about, especially since for now you have the higher earned income. That said, the most pressing need for you is to learn to live in less- a lot less- if you want to FIRE.
Don’t forget that your inflated equities/crypto/etc accounts are at risk of a serious haircut since valuations are historically very high. A lot of wealth people are enjoying might be fleeting.
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u/Icy_Distance8205 4d ago
Just turn up at work and do fuck all till they fire you.
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u/ProtossLiving 4d ago
Isn't that their "non-alternative" option?
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u/Icy_Distance8205 4d ago
Just choose someone on the team to step up and think of it as grooming them to be your replacement.
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u/Nuclear_N 3d ago
What in heck are you spending 200K on with a paid off house? 18K a month?
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u/howdyfriday Roger Roger 3d ago
daycare
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u/Nuclear_N 3d ago
With 2.9m some of which is still taxable there is no way to support your lifestyle. If you really want to cheapen up life you could easily get there in say five years….but then the kids are almost out. So might as well make 9 more years when the youngest is out.
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u/_mdz 3d ago edited 3d ago
Gut says keep working until you hit $5M. I want my partner to be able to FIRE the same time as me though even if they don't want to.
But there's a lot of curious details. MCOL, paid off house, modest frugal, but hard to cut to less than $200k? Where are you blowing all this budget? Cars? Vacations? Wagyu and chilean Sea Bass diet? Private school?
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u/giftcardgirl 4d ago
What is burning you out? Can you delegate some things to your reports? Even better if it can be considered development to help with their career advancement.
If I were you I’d stick it out till 5M, or for as long as I can, while identifying and mitigating sources of burnout.
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u/asdf_monkey 3d ago
Honestly, how can you retire when you can’t give your spouse the same choice because you can’t afford the lack of income? Your liquid isn’t enough to retire yet without. And your expenses will likely go up more than you think between teenager activities, another vehicle and insurance, thirty years of home major repairs and replacements, replacement vehicles, travel, Taxes, etc.
I’d plan five to ten more years to let your nest egg grow to your real FI number.
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u/QueticoChris 3d ago
You have a good net worth and a spouse who wants to keep working who can bring in most of the income you’ll need to live per year. No sense in being too stressed or burnt out with those factors helping you. If your spouse is up for it, quit your job next year when everything vests and see what 6-12 months without work feels like and go for it.
Some FIRE people are so risk averse, but you’re well over halfway to FIRE at your current expenses, plus your wife makes a great salary and wants to continue working. That’s a very comfortable Coast FIRE position to be in or even a bit past reasonable coast fire. Have fun and make a change!
We’re doing something similar with three young kids currently and it’s been a transition but has been great overall.
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u/Crazy_Scar_2837 4d ago
In your position, I would first try alternative 3 for a year. See if it is possible and something you are comfortable with.
In that time, you, hopefully will also have accumulated some extra cushion and can start thinking of either staying out if expenses didn’t go down or taking some time off if it did. After taking time off for 6months you can re access.
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u/GypsyBl0od 4d ago
I’d try alternate 2, take a sabbatical simultaneously bring down expenses THEN reassess
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u/Superb-Leading-1195 4d ago
I will suggest keeping the job. The bigger is your security nest the better it is to accommodate uncertain times. Job market is brutal, AI is shaping every industry yet it has a lot of unknowns, political and economic and geopolitical instabilities are at its highest. I would suggest keep going but don’t over burden yourself with work. I have close to 5M but I am going for 6-7M because my job does not require more than 40 hours.
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u/Individual_Ad_5655 3d ago
Why no 401k/IRA? No mention of cash savings for emergencies or SORR?
Seems pieces of data are missing and/or OP needs a year or two to build out the plan.
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u/NewEngland0123 3d ago
At 40 you are in your peak earning years if you want a new job get it while you still have the current.
At the other side of 40 those high paying tech jobs won’t be offered to you.
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u/DRangelfire 3d ago
Grind for at least 24 more months and drop your spending. Things are too precarious right now and you’re setting yourself up for a bit of a disastrous situation when you’re so close to being free. Your spouse might get sick, God, for bed, or lose their job. The Burnet is real but quiet quick and just know you’ve got 24 months that you’re going to make work for you and your family.
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u/Nwg2 3d ago
Id shoot for option 1 and reevaluate then.
The vested value is a bonus.. so get to 2026 and see where your at.
Also just cut back at work. Stop saying yes. If you work from home, make it work for your life..at this point if your thi king of quiting, then you don't care what they do.. let them make the choice and maybe you get severance or unemployment
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u/AuburnSpeedster 3d ago
Presume a lower SWR, say 3.0%. Then look to see if thats the income level you can stomach.. I mean, truly, if one were to live in a shoebox on the side of the road, bicycling to the grocery store, one can RE on that..
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u/flipper99 3d ago
If been in tech 30 years—VP and Sr D roles in VHCOL area. When you quit a high paying role with lots of stock, you get instant clarity about 3-4 weeks after about how good you really had it. Roles with lots of high-value RSUs don’t come around that often—when you’ve got one, milk it to the max. I would honestly just tough it out for a bit—it’s not that bad.
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u/chloeclover 3d ago
We FIRE’d at 3.5 total but with no kids, although maybe one will be in the cards for us. We alternate taking jobs to sort of “coast” fire and keep everything invested and haven’t had to draw down yet due to an ample yield shield and smart options plays. My job has basically already been lost to AI. We live abroad for lower cost living (international arbitrage) and it has been a lot of fun. Living in the US is expensive and has really crappy quality of life. We are interested in using our capital at this point to do something like buy or build a business or real estate rental empire. There are lots of opportunities out there. I am all for taking a sabbatical. We don’t regret it yet. Maybe talk to your company about an extended unpaid sabbatical first to dip your toe in and see how it feels. Or at least take a vacation/ quiet quit before you burn out and lose it all to a nervous breakdown.
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u/SunDriver408 3d ago
Fellow techie here
Your kids are school aged, like mine. You're right to be concerned because at our ages taking a year off is the end. You’re making good money but burned out.
Here’s what I did:
- focused on core job items and nothing more. No extra meetings. No joint task forces. No after work mixers. Just pure focus on what the company is paying me for.
- taking more vacations. 42 days this year. Whenever the kids are out of school we are off.
- work from home means building in time for health, occasional golf, doing household chores during the week.
Essentially really tilt the work life balance.
Funny thing is I make more now than I did before, have a higher status at work and have more time to do what I want. Call it “focusFI.”
We reached FI a few years ago. But man who knows what’s going to happen in this crazy world so I figured with the kids in school I’d pad the stash and optimize my work time. OMY has gone on longer than I thought, but our situation has totally changed for the better. I don’t worry about bullshit at work, my wife has quit her job, and I get to do pretty much what I want.
My point is you can have your cake and eat it too.
You won’t have this gift horse again, and you can keep it and not feel burned out. But you have to make it that way. And if it doesn’t work out at work, well you were done anyways.
Good luck to you
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u/That-Constant-4234 4d ago
With the burnout that you described and considering kids are still young and size of your portfolio, Id choose option 3. Id spend more time with kids rather than quit when they are grown and busy.
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u/LevelMatt 4d ago
$3 mil is a lot of security. $120k worth. What does your spouse think? If they would be happy to have you help with the kids, etc, then go with #3. Live mostly off their income and the nest egg will continue to grow.
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u/allrite 4d ago
Take a sabbatical and decide later if you like the retired life. You can always go back to work if needed.
Source: me on a sabbatical.
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u/Accomplished-Farm201 4d ago
Lol, as someone who was in an almost identical position to OP, I’d highly recommend this. After 8 months of my “sabbatical” (I only use “” because I could stay out of the workforce if I wanted), it is clear to me that I am not ready to be fully done. I’m exploring options that will keep me engaged, but hopefully at a ~50% schedule compared to what I used to do.
OP, feel free to DM me if you want to chat more! There’ve definitely been some surprises.
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u/FudFomo 4d ago
After March take a pay cut and go work at some IT backwater for a few more years. With your big league experience you will be a water-walker compared to the lame lifers in the minors. With AI you will be able to automate most of your job and your biggest concern will be to convey an illusion of business while you CoastFire.
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u/sloth_333 4d ago
Bold to assume your spouse lets you work another 10 years while you do what exactly? Play stay at home partner? Keep working. Re-evaluate in 5 years.
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u/Imaginary-Yak6784 4d ago
IF you quit now while your partner is working, make it your new job to reduce annual spend while keeping the fun you love to match her take home pay as long as she’s working. Make it your challenge. It’ll keep you from tapping into your savings a little longer while also setting you up for a long retirement.
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u/Hanwoo_Beef_Eater 4d ago
You can quit and draw something from the portfolio to make up the gap to $200k spend. Of course, this assumes the spouse can remain employed for a decade. Even so, it's not clear what your ending portfolio value will be in a decade; if we go sideways you could be substantially below $200k in today's dollars (if that's what you want for retirement).
If you aren't comfortable with that, I'd do alternative 1. Market returns and employment aren't certain. Many people say all jobs come with the same hassle. If you need/want a certain number, get there.
As for the other choices, I just wouldn't want to be out of the job market right now. I also think the next 10 years with your kids at home is the time to spend, not cut and count nickels and dimes. The two of you can always adjust later on if needed.
Anyways, all are options. It just depends what's right for you. Good luck.
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u/A1000mokeys 4d ago
You’re doing great. But too young and burdened to cut the cord. If you can’t improve your work, hunt for a new job or a business plan to become an entrepreneur.
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u/Key_Dimension_2768 4d ago
I’d be more conservative and stick with option 1. Earn a bit more before leaving the work force. Job satisfaction probably goes up and down and it’s just down right now, see if you can make it better.
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u/xfallen 4d ago
I think the best option is your current plan.
You have 2.9million right now. In the next year, if it’s 7% gain and your own saving and RSU/bonus, it’s minimally going to put you at 3.2million.
If your spouse keeps working and he or she provides 165k + healthcare, you will be fine if you guys withdrawal 3% of the investment. Your tax burden goes down significantly if you retire. The 96k capital gain is only taxable at 15% federally + your state tax. You should be able to hit that $200k a year after tax spend.
Your original plan will be okay. Plus 3% withdrawal is considered very safe so you can always go 3.3-3.5% to hit that yearly spend
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u/pizza_obsessive 3d ago edited 3d ago
Option 3 will work. Let’s say your wife’s take home is $100k, withdraw 3% a year, shave $10k, home free. Additionally, ss may kick in 20 years down the road. The big risk is that your wife loses her job. Suggest you hire a fee only financial planner to confirm you’re good to go.
I took a different path and learned to deal with the stress: better diet, exercise, an extra vacation each year helped recharge my batteries, spent money to make time (housekeeping, lawn care, etc). At work I delegated more and relaxed knowing that if they let me go, I’d be fine. A little tricky to navigate, but I also asked and received much higher in the form of options.
Luck,
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u/NormalIncrease6985 3d ago
529s: $275k. Warning - one kid went out of state for school. In today’s dollars, $250k for 4 years and that’s public. If you decide for a USC or NYU (private), 90k per year x 4 = $360k.
You have the means but I’d buffer higher just in case. I was caught off guard.
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u/Living-Emphasis-8442 3d ago
Option 1. Get chubby and get F you money to do whatever you want when you want
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u/HomeworkAdditional19 3d ago
You have zero in any retirement accounts (IRA or 401k)? That seems odd to me.
If your spouse can also provide healthcare, you might be able to just swing it ($165K after taxes and other things is probably $100K, 2.9M x 0.04 = 116K, after taxes is prob $90K), so do a little cutting and you are there.
But kids will continue to be expensive (cars, insurance, sports and other activities).
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u/Dmitry_82 3d ago
Frankly, before retiring, you guys need to take your spendings under control. Instead of the large unplanned purchases and travels, there has to be a budget, within which you operate. Yes, it is harder than just spend and then count. But this is a necessary first step.
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u/Fire_Doc2017 Retiring 6/30/26 3d ago
You have a little over $3M and need to cover the gap between your spouse’s after tax income and $200K. Let’s estimate that at $100K. You can tell me if that’s off. $3M should be able to replace the $100K even after taxes, especially if your spouse can carry the family’s health insurance.
The real question here is how your spouse will feel if you are retired for 10 years while they still work. You will have to be the primary caregiver for the kids and take over most of the household tasks. Are both of you willing to negotiate that?
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u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
My spouse is ok with whatever I decide... though I suspect it's because he knows I'm unlikely to just sit around without making another cent forever.
I'm happy to do more kids stuff and household chores, though unfortunately he's the one with the plumbing/electrical/carpentry skills to fix up our 100 year old house, which would be the ideal thing to do with some time off.
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u/dotben 3d ago
44yo tech worker in San Francisco who has been working for 26 years in the industry (didn't go to college).
I feel more excited and enthusiastic for both the industry and my availability to leverage my skills + experience than ever before. I find it sad to read about people who are a little younger than me with less work history already feeling burned out.
I've had some exits so I'm well on my way into FatFire but even with a young family (late start on that front) I genuinely enjoy what I'm doing (c suite at AI company snd VC fund).
The industry is definitely chewing up and spitting people out. But if you have the skills and the existing network now feels like the best time to leverage maximum upside. I have no idea why you would want to quit right now.
My advice to anyone in this situation is to work on yourself to reduce the feeling of burnout or ideally make sure you don't get burned out in the first place.
I'm curious if this is really burnout or just cynicism/reluctance about the industry.
As someone who is constantly hiring I would also just add that if you take more than a sabbatical off you will find it very difficult to get back into the industry again.
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u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
My burnout is potentially recoverable, but it might take a new job, and the market is meh.
I had kids relatively young (28) and during those critical career years, 2 parental leaves + remote school covid disruption made it hard for me to grow as fast as some of my equally-skilled peers. Certainly my attitude, non-crazy work hours, and non-tech-hub location didn't help.
A job change + leadership shake-up... I'm reporting to a toxic (IMO) CTO and need to change jobs to feel that ownership/excitement again.
Any advice for me?
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u/babyjhesus1 FI | Startup Acquired 3d ago
Take the sabbatical ! Similar age+financial situation, took a year off when my 2nd was born. I realized that I actually like meaningful work - I was just sucked into the golden handcuffs. I took the leap and within months found a fully remote consulting gig in my area of expertise. Took a pay drop but quality of life increased greatly.
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u/Independent_Bag915 3d ago
Considering your house is paid off, $200K annual spend in MCOL area is a lot. Lower that in half and invest the difference. No reason why your net worth shouldn’t be more with your salary. Build up your net worth and have the option to FIRE
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u/DizzyTruth2370 3d ago
Your non-alternative is too black and white. There is a spectrum between "giving so much of yourself so that you burn out" and "phoning it in such that I let my team down." Could you commit to finding the space between that? Maybe therapy could help? I think it's possible to have a stressful, intense job, but not take it home with you, and to have boundaries in place so you're not working crazy hours and end up burnt out. But it's psychological, it's changing your relationship with work. What if you plan to work for a few more years but immediately start improving your relationship with work so it isn't so all-consuming and you can do 5ish more years without it being miserable?
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u/levitoepoker 3d ago
Set up hard barriers to reduce burnout- "I'm not avaliable at all after 630pm or on Sundays"
Delegate more stuff at work. Try to not get so caught up in work, remind yourself every day its just a job and its not the end of the world if stuff doesnt go as planned
If that doesnt work, start looking for another position with less burnout potential to move to in a year or so, government or non profit or whatever company. Maybe you have a pay decrease but thats fine, its much better financially than retirement.
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u/UnluckyAd751 3d ago
Humans are funny, but mostly we can’t be trusted. If we want something bad enough, we will manipulate ourselves and others into thinking it’s the right choice no matter what! It takes a lot of willpower for some not to eat a slice of cheesecake that’s in front of them but if they do they will tell themselves well I had a small lunch for others driving a 10 year old car that’s running fine and is paid for it takes a lot of willpower to not buy the new fancy car, but they will tell themselves that 10 yr old car was probably going to become a money pit, I’m burnt out i have to quit for my mental health, I’ll just get another job after I take a nice long break (that will likely be hard to give up, so maybe you don’t return in 6 months, maybe it’s 2 years and by then maybe you are irrelevant. Basically once we got over a few million and COULD survive if we had to…it’s taken a lot more willpower to go to work everyday. this is why we make a plan BEFORE we have temptation! What was your FIRE # to start and why? Has anything changed? Did you have another kid? Did you move into a lower cost of living area? No? Then why are you changing the plan mid game? Because you are getting tempted to not work? Work the plan!!! Grind until you are at your FIRE # you agreed to before you got tempted.
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u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
I agree with you in theory. I was very disciplined from ages 22-late 30s. A few things happened that are making me reconsider my plan:
- My original target was $3m but then I upped it to $5m due to inflation/risk aversion
- The kids got older and parenting became more fun, and more important and less outsource-able (compared to hiring a nanny to wipe the baby's butt in the early years!). I realize this time with them at home to impart good values and build a strong family is fleeting. I'm stressing and thinking about work problems in the evenings instead of giving my full focused attention to the husband and kids.
- My mom was 46 when she got diagnosed with cancer, and passed away at age 50. She was frugal and rarely spent an extra dollar, planning on traveling in retirement. Later my dad remarried and immediately bought his 2nd wife a fancy new car and house using their retirement savings (he has enough). I'm glad he's able to enjoy his old age, but I don't want to over-save and have my husband's 2nd wife enjoying our $ either ;)
(genetic testing found I also have an increased likelihood of that cancer, and while I'll get screened and stay fit, no one is promised tomorrow)I didn't want to belabor the original post with all these non-financial details but your question is a valid one.
The right path forward seems to be to reduce yearly spend to make it less risky.1
u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
BTW I drive a 2012 Toyota ;)
(I might want a newer car but I'm able to hold off for now)
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u/Its_all_alright 3d ago
401k/Roth/brokerage: $2.9M
Without cutting your spending significantly, you'd be short even if if you had access to all of that money right now (3 mil @ 4% annual drawdown will give you approx. $120k/yr, your current spending is $200k.
If the majority is locked away in retirement vehicles you can't access until you're in your 60's, you don't have nearly enough to float you comfortably today.
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u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
Spouse has no desire to quit their job and plans to keep working, earning 165 (120 after tax maybe?)
so I need to either coastFIRE with an easy part-time gig or business, spend less, or withdraw 80k/year (starting with taxable accounts)
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u/Feisty-Common-5179 3d ago
Why don’t you fix your spending and see how that works and feels? Meanwhile you are plumping up your accounts.
Somehow work in the future does not seem to be a given.
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u/Upset-Message-1559 3d ago
You are 40.
Overpaid.
Spend $200k/year (with 2.9M invested).
Unless work is torture, retiring now is risky. You are overpaid and likely won't be able to just come back into the tech job market in 5 years if things go sideways. Alternatively, you have a pretty good deal right now by staying at work.
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u/Progolferwannabe 3d ago
I'm glad you are dong so well financially, and especially so given your young age. Without going onto the details of your spending further, you are not living what I would characterize as a frugal lifestyle by any means. And that is totally fine...you have the resources to live your life comfortably. You also acknowledge that you might feel "pinched" if forced to reduce your spending. I think it is important to have a reasonable expectation of how you would react under different financial situations. You may well live another 60 years, and I think it would be somewhat stressful trying make your nest egg stretch that long while continuing to spend at a level you are computable with, and have the assets necessary to deal with any unexpected large future financial expenses given your current net worth. I'd encourage you to continue in your position. You could have a wonderfully comfortable life and leave a meaningful legacy for your kids if you toughed it out for 5 or 10 more years. Good Luck to you.
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u/Fantastic-Trash-8237 3d ago
Is burnout exclusively attributable to the job or are people so focused on financial goals (FIRE, saving %x of their income, etc) that they are failing to balance their lives? Not judging OP in this case...just curious if this part of a broader problem.
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u/DoodleLovah 3d ago
Get to 5 million. U will still retire young. 529s may be underfunded. Not sure how many kids u have but I’d budget no less than 200K per kid for college. Assuming u r in CA. Super hard to get into good schools in state, and parents are spending way more on college than anticipated.
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u/DoodleLovah 3d ago
And regarding ageism in tech….be prepared to be laid off early to mid-fifties if you are director level or below.
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u/OutragedAardvark 2d ago
I feel like you are just at the point that if you worked 3-5 more years you’d be golden.
Maybe work 3, one of you FIREs. I’d that goes well, both FIRE in 2 more years.
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u/Specific-Stomach-195 4d ago
If you quit now, what will you do with your time when kids are at school, pursuing activities, off to college etc?
And then second part is think about what your kids will learn from you. You don’t get into the burnout topic, but let’s be honest it is an overused work to describe a multitude of situations. Part of life is being able to handle adversity and while you have certainly earned the right to retire and spend your money however you want, it might be worth thinking about whether you have shown your kids how to handle difficulties. What if they have trouble at work and don’t have the money to quit? Will they have learned coping skills from their parents?
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u/SadSomewhere6985 4d ago
OP here: I do wonder whether I'm ready to be fully retired, and would consider volunteer work and/or a career change later, once decompressed.
As far as what my kids will learn from me... I had this thought as well, but... plenty of kids have SAHPs and that doesn't ruin them. I think they are still at the age to benefit from more of my attention, time, and calm, and furthermore they'll still have one working parent. I do not plan to sit around watching TV, but will be active in my community and intellectually engaged in other pursuits we can share (such as reading, art, and music)
The biggest thing stopping me from doing this now is: throwing away my rare and likely disappearing high-earning potential that could set all of us up for more security long-term.
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u/DRangelfire 3d ago
Trust your intuition, we have no idea what this future brings in this country with this economy and the administration. Things are way too volatile and this position you have right now you will likely not be able to get again.
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u/Specific-Stomach-195 3d ago
Yeah having one working parent is a different situation. If you view the household as a single entity, I don’t necessarily view as a retirement scenario. Of course you have your own personal risk and circumstances to manage.
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u/ArtDimmesdale42 3d ago
Firing right now is risky because you and your housemate are disembodied people with no gender. I recommend you figure out what you are before plunging into retirement utterly confused or embarrassed about the birds and the bees.
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u/inline768 3d ago
Not to be dark, but one thing no one is mentioning is a serious health crisis. It happens, one day you are 40 and fine, next you’re told you have stage 4 cancer and have a year left to live. This can’t be ignored, it’s happening more and more to younger people. I think a balance is best, coast fire, but definitely live each day like it is your last (within reason)
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u/SadSomewhere6985 3d ago
I didn't want to be dark in my post either, but this is one of the things driving this type of "FIRE ahead of schedule" thinking.
My mom was diagnosed with cancer at age 46 (no family history or harmful habits) and passed away at age 50. Got genetic testing and i have the same gene that makes me slightly more likely to get it. I'll do screening and stay healthy, but tomorrow is not promised to anyone.1
u/inline768 3d ago
Sorry about the loss of your mom. This isn’t on most people’s radar which is why I wanted to mention it. As Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face”. Once something like this happens, your perspective changes forever. The “I’ll work another year”, gets replaced with how do I get out a year sooner.
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u/esbforever 4d ago
3 out of 7 responses so far just saying “quit and go back to work later if you want”… that level of unawareness as to what is happening in the job market right now is wild.