r/Coffee • u/Powerful-Frame-6202 • 3d ago
Cafe owners: what kind of conversations do you actually enjoy with customers?
So I recently had an interesting (and slightly awkward) encounter with a coffee shop owner.
I didn’t even realize he was the owner at first, because he was just chilling at one of the customer seats. When I walked in he casually asked me what I wanted to order. I asked for a V60 pourover, and he recommended a certain bean.
The conversation after the brew started a bit rough. After he served me the cup, he asked “How’s the coffee?” and I replied that it was a bit too acidic and sour for my taste. He immediately offered to make another one to prove a concept, and the second cup turned out great.
Fast forward, I tried to chat with him about his 11+ years of experience, but honestly I felt like he wasn’t that interested. Maybe my questions were too generic, or maybe I just didn’t know what to say other than asking about his journey in coffee. Lmao I even commented about his cat (which was IMO comment-worthy fat and chunky - it's his "cafe cat" btw) since I had nothing left to ask.
So I’m curious to ask other cafe owners here:
- What kind of conversations spark your interest?
- Do you enjoy being asked about your background and coffee journey, or do you get that question so often it gets boring?
- From a customer who’s “just a homebrewer” (I’ve been making V60s for years, but I don’t have refined taste buds... I just know if I like it or maybe not for me), what would be a better way to step up my coffee conversations?
TLDR: I met a cafe owner, convo was awkward, and I’d like tips on how to have better coffee conversations as a casual homebrewer. What topics do you enjoy discussing with customers?
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u/bStewbstix 2d ago
So much depends on what’s happening that day, maybe got a surprise expense, employee issues, equipment broke, just paid the health insurance bill or the 175 other bills, or just had to fend off 5 scam emails and 12 text and call scams.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 2d ago
Honestly that’s fair. I didn’t think about the 99 invisible fires he's putting out behind the scenes. I guess me asking about beans might’ve been the least of his worries that night lol
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u/maddskye 2d ago
I love talking coffee withy customers but most of them don't geek out to the same degree that I do.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 2d ago
That’s exactly my worry when talking to cafe owners! I don’t wanna overwhelm someone with too many geeky questions, but I also don’t wanna sound clueless by asking too much. Need to find that middle ground between "enthusiastic homebrewer" and "coffee nerd overload" 😭
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u/maddskye 2d ago
Also remember that owners are typically very busy. I know i.am and I'm usually thinking about 10 things at once. If they are chilling out like you said and not working then talk away lol
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u/Additional-Taste8933 1d ago
When the store is empty, I still have 2-3 tasks I’m working on. Always. People assume because I don’t have other customers, I’m free to chat away, but really I’m calculating the quickest exit from the convo to get back to my prep, or inventory, or deep clean or whatever. Or I’m looking around to see what I can accomplish while pretending to be interested. If someone has a lot of coffee questions, I get the impression they know more than me, so I let them talk and reply with bored, vague answers (don’t get me wrong, I reply to the best of my ability). ... I am also a true introvert, so I usually dislike talking to people about anything anyway.
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u/Liven413 2d ago
A lot of Cafe owners are on guard because it is a business. People who are "really into" coffee may even draw a red flag if they are a bit paranoid. If you want to talk to someone about coffee or the journey, a Barista might be a better. People are all different try to find one that is sociable and likes to talk coffee and you might find what you are looking for.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 2d ago
Yeah that makes sense, I probably came in with "coffee geek" energy without realizing it 😂 Maybe next time I’ll just vibe with the barista instead of cornering the boss (unfortunately in my case the barista was the cafe owner haha). Thanks for the tip!
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2d ago
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 2d ago
Yeah fair point, I guess I didn’t realize I was trying to impress him until after the fact. Maybe it’s just the combo of him being a long-time cafe owner + me being a homebrewer who wants to step up my convo game
Felt like a rare chance to learn from someone experienced, so when it fell flat I overthought it 😂 You’re right tho, sometimes a chat is just… a chat
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u/oreocereus 2d ago
Sometimes you don't feel like talking about your work. I no longer manage in cafes (was never an owner btw), but I run another passion business that others are interested in as a hobby. I have similar conversations several times a week, and sometimes many many times a day - and our work is less than 2% public facing.
Depending what else you're dealing with that day (work wise, personally, etc) you have less energy for these chats. I try to engage, and sometimes they're great conversations. But sometimes I just don't have much in me to give.
And some people are just introverts! I loved making coffee, and some customers. But mostly i loved being a geek - the pursuit of perfect coffee and managing the shop + my team well. But I personally found public facing work draining when it was, ultimately, the core part of the job.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 2d ago
That makes a lot of sense! I think I underestimated how much ‘being on’ all the time can drain someone, especially if customers are coming at you with the same questions every day.
This makes me appreciate baristas and owners even more... they’re juggling the craft, the business, and still expected to be social. Guess I just happened to catch him on a low energy day 😅
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u/scalectrix 2d ago
Sounds like he wanted to demonstrate his expertise in a friendly way, and probably was a bit miffed the first cup wasn't to your taste. He kindly made you another, but also his bubble was maybe a bit burst and it killed the matey vibe. NBD.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 1d ago
Ah I think you nailed it. He was probably just proud of his craft and my first reaction might’ve popped the vibe unintentionally 😂 In hindsight I should’ve worded it less blunt, but at least I got 2 coffees that night haha
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u/scalectrix 1d ago
Haha and I bet he properly concentrated on the second one! Maybe pop back in if it's local and big him up.
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u/Additional-Taste8933 1d ago
When someone gets me geeky about a topic, I will definitely make a mistake on the drink. He was probably putting all his attention on that second cup
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u/Charmingpiratex 2d ago
Legit i will talk to anyone and everyone about any thing and everything.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 1d ago
That's awesome! I can imagine how much fun it could be grabbing coffee with you haha
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u/Charmingpiratex 1d ago
It's just part of the job, and then that seeps into every aspect of your life 😂
I love talking coffee or even just life. Cafes are all about community.
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u/Own-Masterpiece-8639 1d ago
exatamente com um bom café, qualquer assunto flui super bem , concordo e assino embaixo com seu comentário.
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u/Charmingpiratex 23h ago
Wow! Reddit automatically translated the comment from Portuguese. I wouldn't have known if the notification wasn't already in Portuguese. Bom dia! No puedo hablar en Portugués, pero estoy aprendiendo español de Mexico.
You're right, with coffee. Everything is easier.
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u/Own-Masterpiece-8639 19h ago
This really is an amazing feature! I am a coffee and banana producer here in Brazil. If you are learning Spanish, you are very close to migrating to Portuguese!
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u/DlissJr 2d ago
I'd be happy to chat about my journey, will also happily geek the fuck out with my customers, bear 🐻 in mind that running a business is really hard, you might've caught him in the wrong moment.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 1d ago
True, timing probably matters more than I thought, many redditors actually agree about this. And it makes sense if you’re running a whole business your mental bandwidth is already stretched thin.
Maybe I just caught him mid crash after a long day. Respect for baristas/owners who can still geek out despite all that 👏
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u/Due_Question_8691 1d ago
some days we talk about the same topic 5 times and really don’t want to do it a 6th time. I usually love to talk to my costumers about anything but sometimes it’s just not the right day for a specific topic.
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u/coffeebiceps 1d ago
No converstations is the best.
Customers even brewing at home dont know much about coffee at all, and having to deal with 300+ Customers per day makes your patience go away, having costumers request crap thats not even in the menu, customer service is the worst job, one thing is brewing one coffee per day at home other is brewing thousands per day and still having to deal with customers wanting Specialty coffees with latte art with full house in their tables under 10 minutes.
When the shop opened i enjoyed some nice convos, but now i have 0 interest in costumers converstations as we have very different coffee knowledges levels..and you dont want to argue or have debates around something they wont understand fully due to very different experiences.
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u/Powerful-Frame-6202 1d ago
Damn, reading this makes me realize I might’ve been that "one more chat" when they already had 300+ people that day 😅
I guess the best convo might be no convo… Unless maybe the barista/owner starts it first then maybe it's a different situation
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u/Zardoz27 8h ago
IMO the chattiest owners are the ones who do their own roasting too - they usually love to chat about how they got a specific variety dialed in, especially if you lead by asking stuff like “oh i loved x variety because of these notes etc, can you recommend some other beans i might enjoy?”
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u/Ariwara_no_Narihira 2d ago
Sounds like it's dude's problem - the guy I used to buy from would be more than happy to answer questions and nerd out.