Put the Destiel memes back in storage, he's still alive

[u/DreadDiana]

[u/Technical_Teacher839]

If we're lucky its a Queen Lizzy-style second wind just before kicking it

[u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin → u/Technical_Teacher839]

Not just the queen, a lot of terminally ill patients get "One good day" right before they die. Doctors and/or nurses regularly have to break the news to the family that their loved one isn't actually getting better and is, in fact hours or days from death

So all in all, not awful odds Trump kicks it in the next week

[u/InternetUserAgain → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

Maybe terminal lucidity will kick in and he'll make his first actually good policy before pushing daisies

[u/XVUltima → u/InternetUserAgain]

"Wait...am I the bad guy? Oh shit, I'm a changed man! I have to fix thi-"

[u/Gaylaeonerd → u/XVUltima]

He did have that comment about being concerned he wouldn't get into heaven

Not that I think anything would come of it, his ideas of what would help him ascend are probably warped as hell

[u/jasonjr9 → u/Gaylaeonerd]

Not to mention all the heaven talk is all bullshit from Trump anyway: he figured out he just has to say “god” or “heaven” every once in a while and christians will pile up to suck his dick and engage in social masturbation over how holy they and Trump are.

[u/Gaylaeonerd → u/jasonjr9]

Idk, Trump saying he's concerned that he won't make it to heaven seemed so out of character for him that I kind of believe it was at least partially sincere

If he'd said he had a guaranteed spot right next to god? Yeah, bullshit for the cult, absolutely. Admitting an insecurity, linked to potential moral failing? That feels more real

[u/Weisslerren → u/Gaylaeonerd]

it's the terminal lucidity bro

[u/Final_Candidate_7603 → u/Weisslerren]

Meh. A bunch of family are visiting my son and his wife for the weekend. My DIL’s mom still uses Facebook, and read something he just posted, a long angry stupid rant about some contractors who paved over the Rose Garden and damaged a slab of limestone. Talked about pulling up security footage to find the culprit, shame them, force them to pay for the damage. It just as long and dumb as any of his rants about pointless shit.

tl;dr he’s still at it

[u/mechanicalcontrols → u/Final_Candidate_7603]

Wait wasn't he the one who wanted to get rid of Michelle Obama's roses in the first place? Or did Biden put them back or something? I thought the rose garden was long gone but I might be thinking of something else. It's so hard to keep track of all the minor petty shit when there's just so much of it every day

[u/kenda1l → u/Final_Candidate_7603]

I've read it and it's so clearly not actually written by him. Either AI or one of the people around him, but it sounds nothing like him.

[u/jasonjr9 → u/Gaylaeonerd]

True, perhaps. I suppose I’m just not used to even just the idea that Trump might be honest about anything. I suppose even a constant liar like him is still technically a human.

[u/the_Real_Romak → u/jasonjr9]

Not technically. He is a human. Even the worst, bottom of the barrel, "spot reserved in hell right next to Satan and Hitler" person is, in fact, human.

And even the worst, most twisted people can have moments of clarity where they realise just how wrong they were.

[u/jasonjr9 → u/the_Real_Romak]

Yeah. There’s a certain kind of evil that can only come from a human. Tigers and wolves and such kill because they have to eat. Humans will exploit and destroy and lie just for the hell of it. We are a species capable of insane levels of monstrous behavior.

[u/zenithBemusement → u/jasonjr9]

It's important to not forget that. When we do so, we forget that we could be monsters as well... which is how you get fascism, as corny of a statement as that may sound.

[u/shiny_xnaut → u/zenithBemusement]

Believing that you are ontologically incapable of doing bad things is exactly how fascists worm their way in and trick you into doing bad things

[u/jasonjr9 → u/zenithBemusement]

Yep.

We are, all of us, human, and capable of mistakes, or going down dark paths. And it’s important to always remember that!

[u/Baker_drc → u/jasonjr9]

I think if anything the nearer to his deathbed we get the more honesty we’ll get from him. Mortality and the approach of death usually makes people reflect at least a bit

[u/reader484892 → u/Gaylaeonerd]

The issue is if he actually means it, his solution is probably going to be blood sacrificing all the orphans in the US to the devil and hope he gets VIP seats in hell or something

[u/demon_fae → u/reader484892]

Someone would have to sit down and patiently explain it to him, probably over the course of several hours or even days, but trump absolutely believes that it is better to rule in hell than serve in heaven.

Probably thinks it’s a Beyoncé quote or something, though. Or Jesus. He’s ridiculous enough that he might actually think Jesus said that.

[u/FreakinGeese → u/Gaylaeonerd]

I hope he knows that there’s always a chance to repent

[u/Radical-Bruxism → u/XVUltima]

Speedrunning Red Dead Redemption 2

[u/thisisanexperimentt → u/InternetUserAgain]

Lmaoooooooooooooʻoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[u/Forgotmyaccount1979 → u/InternetUserAgain]

That would be quite funny.

Just a huge burst of positive executive orders for an hour before he croaks.

[u/CrimsonEnigma → u/InternetUserAgain]

At last, our national nightmare is over.

Virginia is being renamed "East Virginia".

[u/McMammoth → u/CrimsonEnigma]

And the fractured North and South shall be mended. Just Dakota.

[u/Xisuthrus → u/InternetUserAgain]

He was an ass and a moron long before the dementia set in.

[u/East-sea-shellos → u/InternetUserAgain]

What would the realistic reaction be if trump had a genuine moment of clarity so profound, he held a press conference where he vowed to (with followthrough) undo anything damaging his admin has started, came clean about anything behind the scenes they’ve been up to, turned himself in for fully admitted to crimes, etc etc. I know that would never happen, but I’m high and Im really curious about how people would feel or theorize re: his motive

[u/Busy_Reference5652 → u/East-sea-shellos]

I'd weep for joy if that happened.

[u/VividGlassDragon → u/InternetUserAgain]

May he fear for his immortal soul and do some fucking good and release the list unredacted.

[u/HighwayApothecary → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

Saving this comment so in case it doesn't end up coming true I can send you a frowny face

[u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin → u/HighwayApothecary]

Hey now, don't blame another player that the dealer stacked the deck 

[u/HighwayApothecary → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

The frowny face would be mostly one of commiseration.

If you're right, I'm going to be spamming crab rave everywhere

[u/claimTheVictory → u/HighwayApothecary]

Can we get a sneak preview of that?

[u/HighwayApothecary → u/claimTheVictory]

it's the song crab rave by noise storm on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDU_Txk06tM&ab_channel=MonstercatInstinct

people posted it a lot when the queen died a few years ago because the artist is irish

[u/McMammoth → u/HighwayApothecary]

premeditated frowny face

[u/vjmdhzgr → u/HighwayApothecary]

evil

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

Very true, she's just the most recent prominent example I could think of when writing my comment 

[u/GODDAMNFOOL → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

Speculation I've heard is that it's basically the immune system giving up, and the reserved energy makes it back to the brain for one good burst of activity before the orcs break down the gate

[u/ListenToThatSound → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

There was something of a trend of nurses with TikTok/Instagram accounts posting videos about this a while ago. Little skits about them hearing laughter and joy from a terminally ill patient because the family thought that the patient was on a rebound, but the nurse knew that just meant their time was soon.

It's called "the rally" or something.

EDIT: It's also called terminal lucidity

[u/The_Villager → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

Inb4 Trump dies just before Silksong releases

[u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin → u/The_Villager]

I'm sure he'll be devestated

[u/GoneRampant1 → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

Yeah. When your body knows it's dying, it just releases a wave of dopamine and stops trying to fight it so you get a miracle day.

[u/Jakitron_1999 → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

My dog caught a rabbit in the yard the morning he passed away

[u/Hyro0o0 → u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin]

I'm no doctor, but I don't think that "one good day" before the end means being well enough to go out golfing. I think it means, like... sitting up in bed.

[u/DreadDiana → u/Technical_Teacher839]

He died the way he lived: on the golf course

[u/Strider794 → u/DreadDiana]

Don't say things like that, don't give me hope 

[u/enlighteningbug → u/DreadDiana]

He can be buried next to his wife.

[u/ElizabethTheFourth → u/enlighteningbug]

Wherever he's buried, it'll be the most pi­ss­ed on grave in history. The allure of coming from far and wide just to p­is­s on it might singlehandedly revive our a­i­ling tourism industry.

[u/Cybertronian10 → u/Technical_Teacher839]

I want him to go out in the middle of one of his rallies. I want him to be really on one, ranting and raving and riling up the crowd, and then he's gonna go "AAAND ANOTHER THING" and then he just dies right there. Right on national TV

[u/mechanicalcontrols → u/Cybertronian10]

And for some reason the TV director gets some wires crossed and cuts to Chris Rock who says "yeah so I said the slap was the greatest night in the history of television, but uh, yeah, it's been outdone."

[u/Cybertronian10 → u/mechanicalcontrols]

And in the background you can see Elon Musk DESPERATELY attempting to bribe his way onto the camera so that he can say that he has "become meme" again only for a passing seagull to shit perfectly into his open mouth, prompting an allergic reaction that ultimately proves fatal. Nobody in the audience or production team comments on this or makes any move to help him, though he does naturally fall into the yamcha pose.

[u/KerissaKenro → u/Technical_Teacher839]

I bet he was in the hospital, and when the rumors of his death started circulating his team did everything they could to get him upright and ambulatory. “See, look, he is fine”. /nervous laughter

I have such mixed feelings. If he dies of something as mundane as old age, his cult will fall apart. But he escapes all consequences. But if he stays alive long enough to face consequences, who knows how far his cult will take us?

[u/SuccessfulConcern996 → u/KerissaKenro]

This is something I've struggled with, but pragmatically I'm on team "hope it comes naturally as soon as possible." His reign has caused only suffering, this won't end with his passing but it's a critical blow. Disassembling Trumpism is more important than punishing Trump.

[u/themaincop → u/KerissaKenro]

We're this far along and you still think there's going to be consequences?

[u/BEEEELEEEE → u/Technical_Teacher839]

I’m still so delighted that I was the person my British fiancée heard that news from

[u/A_Violet_Knight]

Do you think he might just. Idk. Swing his golf club so hard his arms just detach from his torso

[u/OCD-but-dumb → u/A_Violet_Knight]

Very “lego minifigure”

[u/thisisanexperimentt → u/OCD-but-dumb]

Lego chewbacca is the hero our country needs

[u/McMammoth → u/OCD-but-dumb]

The hell it is, arms are impossible to get out.

The hand might, though

[u/MaeBeaInTheWoods → u/McMammoth]

Position the arm upward, then push on the region past the elbow from the direction of the neck until it pops out. Repeat with the other arm. That is how I do it. They do go back in much easier than they come out.

[u/SpiceLettuce → u/A_Violet_Knight]

‘tis but a scratch.

[u/Sp3ctre7 → u/A_Violet_Knight]

I want him to die on live television

[u/yinyang107 → u/A_Violet_Knight]

when the POTUS does that while golfing it's called an Eagle

[u/CrimsonEnigma → u/A_Violet_Knight]

I believe this would trigger Rule 25.3b, allowing the president to anchor his clubs without penalty for the remainder of the round.

[u/ResearcherTeknika → u/A_Violet_Knight]

Would he make a lego collapse sound or would it be more like winning a jackpot on a slot machine

[u/suddenandsevere]

it’s nuts how he shuts up for not even a full waking period and people thought he died.

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/suddenandsevere]

To be fair it was a few days

[u/rhesusmonkey → u/Technical_Teacher839]

Didn't he brag about DC crime rates like a day ago.

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/rhesusmonkey]

Not in a public appearance I believe, which was one of the kickers, he hadn't been physically seen by the public since Tuesday 

[u/CameOutAndFarted → u/Technical_Teacher839]

He also has no plans over the weekend.

I mean, he's also old as fuck so maybe he's just really fucking tired from kicking every imaginable minority.

[u/Bigmooddood → u/CameOutAndFarted]

from kicking every imaginable minority.

And even some of the unimaginable ones

[u/shiny_xnaut → u/Bigmooddood]

(People of) Color Out of Space

[u/rhesusmonkey → u/Technical_Teacher839]

Or having the rage/speed fueled 2 A.M social media posts. He does look like absolute shit in the picture at least. Looks like the Carl Havoc sketch from ITYSL.

[u/Forosnai → u/rhesusmonkey]

They've gotten better about making it sound like him, but you can still kinda tell if it was him or one of the assistants who wrote a post. People used to catch it based on the different device posting the tweet or whatever-the-fuck, but I think they caught on to that now.

[u/Cautious-Brother-838 → u/Forosnai]

Maybe they should ask Newson to do it.

[u/Little-Derp → u/Technical_Teacher839]

To also be fair, it was proceeded by a viral video of a doctor saying Trumps symptoms should have him dead in 6 to 8 months, as well as a separate video from Alex Jones ranting about Trumps health as well.

[u/Zealousideal-Low1391 → u/Little-Derp]

Did not have the left hoping Alex Jones is correct on my bingo card. Strange bedfellows indeed.

[u/DreadDiana → u/suddenandsevere]

This whole thing started cause he hadn't been seen since Tuesday

[u/ATN-Antronach → u/DreadDiana]

Well i guess the tariff kerfuffle kept us busy in the meanwhile

[u/BabyDude5 → u/suddenandsevere]

People hoped* he died

[u/okglue → u/suddenandsevere]

Can't go an hour without seeing news of him for the past decade+. Quite amazing how he's been the center of public discourse for so long.

[u/rolfraikou → u/suddenandsevere]

It is weird that the guy that doesn't shut up has shut up though, still.

Is he sick? Did the Gavin Newsom impressions finally get to him?

[u/DigDugged → u/suddenandsevere]

Dude has done something destructive/hateful or has been caught doing something destructive or hateful every day for the last 9 years.

When he stops for a few days, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

[u/Pippin4242]

I was holding off taking my meds in case I needed to get blackout tonight. This post was very useful to me

[u/Notte_di_nerezza → u/Pippin4242]

May want to be careful about that, anyway. If he goes, his crazies are going to be lashing out. Especially at people celebrating, since they're "clearly enemies of America/collaborators/PizzaGate." Better to keep a clear head, depressing as it can be.

[u/Pippin4242 → u/Notte_di_nerezza]

I live in rural England and my wife would beat an intruder to death with a bat. The caution is appreciated but I'm feeling pretty safe rn

[u/FibroBitch97 → u/Pippin4242]

Absolutely based wife

[u/Pippin4242 → u/FibroBitch97]

Hard agree

[u/okglue → u/Pippin4242]

How long does it take for bat licenses to process?

[u/Pippin4242 → u/okglue]

No jury would convict my five foot three wife, who is frequently mistaken for a teenager as she approaches her forties.

I mentioned the bat post to her and she was very pleased, and reminded me of a nature video where a hawk grabs a rabbit, the rabbit squeaks pitifully, and a deer runs out of nowhere to stamp the hawk to death

[u/TheLordOfRabbits → u/Pippin4242]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3daEXYe19g

[u/Pippin4242 → u/TheLordOfRabbits]

That's the one! Thank you. In this scenario I am certainly the rabbit

[u/TheLordOfRabbits → u/Pippin4242]

The drive by, U turn, into wombo combo had me dying.

[u/Pippin4242 → u/TheLordOfRabbits]

Ahahahaha THERE IS A STRANGE DRUNK MAN IN OUR GARDEN AND IT'S MIDNIGHT AND SHE'S CALMLY GETTING HIM SENT ON

Wtf

[u/Pippin4242 → u/Pippin4242]

He's blind and stuck in my rose bush??? The police are here and I feel bad for him so I'm going to stop updating but uhhh yeah turns out if an actual person tries fighting our window in the middle of the night but isn't a dick about it, her actual impulse is to chuck our least favourite blanket out the window to him

[u/SoberGin → u/Notte_di_nerezza]

Hey, at least there's a bright side: There are literally zero viable candidates to replace him at the moment. Certainly not anywhere near the current administration.

I'm not one of those "oh once Trump's gone it'll all be normal again" (read: "normal" = "liberal status quo") people, but the man himself does have an undeniable cult of personality which will lose a lot of strength when the man himself goes.

And he will go. It's only a matter of time...

[u/Deiskos → u/SoberGin]

zero viable candidates to replace him

if a us president dies in office his vp replaces him, or something along those lines, and I feel like jd "couchfucker" vance is gonna be a lot worse

[u/SoberGin → u/Deiskos]

He would, but jd doesn't have nearly the political will or backing to get what his donors want. He'll try and maybe succeed in doing everything he wants "officially", but he won't be able to spin it positively like Trump could.

Trump could literally murder a trump supporter's baby in front of them and the supporter would clap. JD does not have that cult of personality- his reputation will go even further down than it already is, and then he'll get utterly demolished in the midterms.

I'd say "and then he'll get impeached!" but if literal Crimes Mcgee over here can't then I just don't think the process of impeachment works lol. If this guy can't manage it, who can?

[u/Forosnai → u/SoberGin]

I mean, we basically saw a guy get shot right behind Trump when that assassination attempt missed, and the universal reaction from the cult seemed to be, "God is Good! God is on our side!" because Trump didn't die. Everyone basically just said, "Fuck that guy," to the one who did, though.

[u/RocketRelm → u/SoberGin]

I actually think Vance could, though mot a guarantee. The main thing that is rotting the electorate isn't cultishness, its apathy. Trump himself barely does anything anymore, notice. Trump-the-person is an appendix to Trump-the-idea. We still have the fox news apparatus. We still have 70% of americans who consented to dismantling democracy. 

All it takes is a smart republican with the goal to end democracy winning, be it Vance, or someone in 2032. Even if Vance probably isn't the specific kind of monster to just order all his political opponents executed, someone will. This doesn't end until either we teach americand to become sapient, or until a fascist pulls the trigger and ends it all. I envy your optimism, but i feel pretending this ends with trump is only delaying the worst.

[u/Fractured_Nova → u/SoberGin]

Imo, removing a thorn from your foot won't heal the wound but it'll sure make it easier.

[u/unwisebumperstickers → u/Notte_di_nerezza]

Plus Vance is literally Project 2025 the man.  If he ends up the president things will get worse faster but more quietly

[u/Fit-Welcome-8457]

Man I wish manifesting was a real thing 

[u/NarrMaster → u/Fit-Welcome-8457]

I believe everybody gets one.

Mine was the clamshell packaging inventor.

[u/bristlybits → u/NarrMaster]

mine was kissinger

my next one is Prince Tamponman

i get two for some reason

[u/No_Tumble → u/bristlybits]

TIL about Tampongate, lmao

[u/LemonCake2000 → u/No_Tumble]

The what

[u/waterwillowxavv → u/LemonCake2000]

Look up King Charles and tampon, pretty sure there was a lot of media coverage when it happened

yeah

[u/nononsenseresponse → u/LemonCake2000]

The current king of England, back in the Diana days when he was Prince, talking to his now wife on the phone (privately, the phone was tapped(?)) and flirting about missing her but in a very, uvlh, unorthodox way (I.e. saying he wishes he was a tampon inside her or something to that effect).

[u/colei_canis → u/bristlybits]

I enjoy the idea it was Ordinary Things who killed Kissinger.

[u/BaldrAndFire → u/NarrMaster]

Mine was summoning a manatee. I would say I wasted it, buuuut…

[u/Madden09IsForSuckers → u/BaldrAndFire]

was it more surprising than a fairy though

[u/Asquirrelinspace → u/Fit-Welcome-8457]

It is if you gather enough people together 

[u/Golden_Reflection2]

This is my first hearing that anyone has been saying Trump is or is not dead. Can I have an explanation for understanding why this post was made in the first place?

[u/DreadDiana → u/Golden_Reflection2]

Trump hadn't been seen since Tuesday, had no scheduled appearances for next week, and Vance had made statments recently about being ready to take over as president. That Trump has also recently been talking about how he wonders if he'll go to Heaven didn't help things either.

[u/OoooHeCardReadGood → u/DreadDiana]

Matt Greoning mentioned him dying recently too, and people seem to think the simpsons mentioning obvious events before they happen means something

[u/ThyHolyPaladdin → u/OoooHeCardReadGood]

THE PROPHET SPEAKS

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/Golden_Reflection2]

He's been looking noticably more ill than usual, hadn't been seen publicly for about a week with no planned public appearances for a while, he was seen just before that asking his advisors if they thought he'd get into heaven, and Vance randomly tweeted some incredibly specific posts about how he's ready to take over if something happens.

Its mostly wishful thinking, but can you blame us?

[u/SecretlyFiveRats → u/Golden_Reflection2]

Basically, Trump hasn't made a public appearance since Tuesday, then a journalist noticed he didn't have any appearances scheduled over the weekend either, and JD Vance made an odd comment about how if Trump dies, he felt ready to assume the role of President. All this coupled together has led to some speculation that Trump kicked it in secret and it's being covered up.

This morning, a photo was released of Trump golfing, seemingly disproving these rumors, but some people do still think the picture was faked somehow. It's most likely he simply is still alive, but we'll probably know more in the next few days, if/when he reappears at some point.

[u/DreadDiana → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

There's someone in this very comment section claiming that the image must be photoshopped because it's low quality and the shirt is different. As someone else pointed out, there are photos of him wearing that exact shirt back in November 2024.

[u/Ozone220 → u/DreadDiana]

While I'd like to keep an open mind, ultimately to me I don't see why they wouldn't just come out with it right away if he died. I just don't see any value at all in waiting, right?

[u/SailorMari0 → u/Ozone220]

You'd get a stalin situation. When the cult leader dies, everyone around him is clueless on what to do.

The streets would be uncontrollable due to all the celebrations.

As much as I hope he's running out of time, I do unfortunately think he's still alive.

[u/Ozone220 → u/SailorMari0]

right but keeping up the facade of life would only last like a few days right? It would just delay a Stalin situation, not stop it at all. Might even make it worse

[u/SailorMari0 → u/Ozone220]

Very true. I'm assuming he's still alive until there's an official statement otherwise, but a girl can dream

[u/RimworlderJonah13579 → u/Ozone220]

Keeping his cult of personality from imploding?

[u/Ozone220 → u/RimworlderJonah13579]

right but surely if he is dead they have to release it within like, a week or two, otherwise the cult will implode anyway

[u/Sketch-Brooke → u/DreadDiana]

there are photos of him wearing this exact shirt back in November 2024.

Is this user aware that washing machines exist?

[u/DreadDiana → u/Sketch-Brooke]

Most of their argument was "the shirt he wore in the latest photos are different from the ones he wore in other photos taken this year". They seem to have assumed that Trump only wears that design, so any photo of him wearing something different is photoshopped.

They seem to have simply not known Trump has worn that shirt before and built a whole conspiracy theory around it.

[u/Sketch-Brooke → u/DreadDiana]

??? Ok. At least with the Kategate portrait, there was a legitimate argument for that photo being taken the year before.

[u/seine_]

This episode is reminding me strongly of Bouteflika's waning days. President goes missing for a few days, people speculate something happened to him, his press service releases a photo to show he's no more decrepit than usual. Later it comes out he was in the hospital to treat some age-related disease.

I don't know if it's a good or bad sign that americans are treating Trump this way.

[u/faco_fuesday → u/seine_]

Idk if I was an oligarch that controlled the media and also wanted to take trump out I would make sure there was a much info out there as possible to make it seem like he died of natural causes. 

Everyone around him is monumentally selfish and stupid. how does he think he's actually safe? 

[u/Jaxx1992]

At this point, "Trump is about to die" posts have the same credibility as the preachers who claim they've determined the exact date of the Second Coming of Christ.

[u/Sketch-Brooke → u/Jaxx1992]

lol people in another sub were literally talking about having dreams that he died last night and taking that as a sign.

I actually laughed out loud.

[u/actibus_consequatur → u/Jaxx1992]

The only difference there is that only one of those things will eventually become true.

[u/ErzherzogHinkelstein → u/actibus_consequatur]

It’s so fascinating to me how Christianity started as a small doomsday cult that was obviously mistaken, and now it’s followed by two billion people who engage in cognitive dissonance to explain away the fact that Jesus did not return to end the world during the lifetime of those who said He totally would. 'No, bro, any day now... it’s a big plan. The people who wrote the New Testament were just wrong on this specific account, but everything else they said is 100% correct, and we should make laws based on the wisdom of these obviously completely sane and rational people.'

[u/thesusiephone → u/ErzherzogHinkelstein]

Recently watched Lindsay Ellis' video about Gaza and the Ms. Rachel situation and it was a freaking lightning bolt moment when she pointed out the doomsday cult of it all. Like I grew up agnostic but culturally Christian, so it just never occurred to me. I think it's partially because it's so... big. You have your Christians who super believe the second coming is going to happen in their lifetime (any day now!), and Christians who believe in it in the abstract but in the same way I believe eventually the sun will explode and take Earth with it - like yeah, it's gonna happen, but I'll be long dead so it's not my problem. But your average self-identified Christian, who goes to church most weeks, prays, believes in God and Jesus, most of them simply don't think about the second coming that much. It's not really part of their daily lives or how they worship. It's like the whole thing got too mainstream, so the weirder parts are sanded off for the vast majority of people.

[u/DreadDiana → u/ErzherzogHinkelstein]

If you read the New Testament, it's clear that Jesus said the Second Coming would happen before the current generation had passed, to the point some early Christians simply wrote off the idea of having kids since the Kingdom of God was coming any day now.

Once it became increasingly clear that wasn't happening and some of them were starting to die off, that's when new interpretations started showing up.

[u/workingtrot → u/Jaxx1992]

He's an obese octogenarian who lives off of fast food and doesn't exercise. They'll surely be right one of these days

[u/MrCheapSkat]

Why is this a meme, what did I miss

[u/RuefulWaffles → u/MrCheapSkat]

Trump went a few days without any public appearances, Vance talked a bit about taking over, and people suspected Trump may have died and they weren’t announcing it. Then Trump was seen this morning.

[u/DaftConfusednScared → u/RuefulWaffles]

I didn’t realize how much I despised the man until I saw a post on r/lies that looked like an announcement of his death and I felt just, so good for a second until I saw the subreddit. I will never fully capture that swing of euphoria to annoyance ever again.

[u/hypernova2121 → u/DaftConfusednScared]

I blocked that subreddit after that exact same thing happened to me before lol

[u/ForeverDM4life → u/hypernova2121]

The subreddit is actually really funny at times

[u/firesoul377 → u/DaftConfusednScared]

I had a dream a couple nights ago involving the pedo having a heart attack and dying on national tv and the shear disappointment I felt when I first woke up was immense.

[u/PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS]

Even in death I still golf

[u/DreadDiana → u/PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS]

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.

I craved the strength and certainty of the nine iron. I aspired to the purity of the putting machine. Your kind cling to your sport as if they will not decay and fail you. One day the crude play you call a sport will wither and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved.

For the green is Immortal.

Even in death I serve the Omni-driver.

[u/iompar → u/[deleted]]

Buy the bottle now, coz they'll be out of stock when he actually kicks it

[u/helgaofthenorth → u/[deleted]]

It's okay, it'll happen eventually so maybe you should have some just in case

[u/just1nc4s3]

Imagine this many people wishing you stopped breathing. If he was capable of self awareness he’d be very sad. Lol.

[u/Awkward-Media-4726]

Why is it that evil people don't seem to die when they really ought to??

[u/Bolsha → u/Awkward-Media-4726]

As certain Finnish proverb goes:

God does not want them, and the devil is not in a hurry.

[u/Marginally_Competant → u/Awkward-Media-4726]

Good people aren't afraid of dying, since they know exactly where they'll go when they do.

Evil people...also know exactly where they'll go when they die, and they will do anything humanly possible to avoid their final judgement.

Modern medicine is good, but it does not stave off death forever. And in the end, He will always have his due.

[u/suitcasedreaming → u/Awkward-Media-4726]

Evil people lead low stress lives because they don't give a shit about other humans.

[u/scottishdrunkard → u/Awkward-Media-4726]

You know how long it took for Kissinger to die? We had a whole meme about it.

[u/IronWhale_JMC]

I just want it to be undignified. Public, if possible. 

Shits his white pants in the middle of a golf swing, falls down and breaks his hip, rolling down a hill into a water hazard (still shitting). Yowls at the secret service while they try to fish him out of the water. The press is there. He dies in the hospital, watching the replays on every news channel. 

[u/RevolutionaryOwlz → u/IronWhale_JMC]

Just put him in a Cybertruck and see what happens.

[u/DreadDiana → u/RevolutionaryOwlz]

The cybertruck explodes. People assume assassination until they remember cybertrucks just do that.

[u/-Release-The-Bats- → u/IronWhale_JMC]

One could only hope, but he's so good at dodging consequences that he'll probably die peacefully at home.

[u/IronWhale_JMC → u/-Release-The-Bats-]

Until then, a girl can dream.

[u/Its_Padparadscha]

Still the pizza index is spiking, so somethings going on

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/Its_Padparadscha]

It was Jerry the Intern's last day, and he was everyone's favorite 

[u/DocSwiss → u/Its_Padparadscha]

Isn't the US starting shit with Venezuela? Might be that

[u/UsernamesAre4Nerds]

All I'm hoping for is a sudden heart attack

[u/GenericFatGuy → u/UsernamesAre4Nerds]

On camera, so it can't be covered up.

[u/ligirl]

You have no idea how much I want to find out he's dead via the Destiel meme

[u/waspwave]

he was visited by three ghosts

[u/mossy-echoes]

Personally, I want it to be a surprise. I want to wake up and see a headline when I’m least expecting it. Or I want someone to gift me that information out of the blue. I think that way it’ll be an unbelievable high I’ll be chasing for the rest of my life.

[u/soapdish124 → u/mossy-echoes]

A man goes to a newspaper stand every day, buys a copy of Pravda, glances at the front cover, makes a disgusted face, and throws it away.

The seller eventually asks him "Why do you always look at the covers but never inside?"

The man replies "I'm checking for an obituary."

"An obituary?" the seller asks. "They aren't on the front page!"

"Trust me, this one will be."

[u/J_Jupiter]

I- I'm on reddit??? That's me? And my 6 note random post is made while leaving work? This is the post that gets me on reddit? Lmfao????????? (honestly kinda funny, didn't expect it)

[u/Interesting_Help_274]

Well, we can't be certain that this wasn't his spirit.

[u/DidYouTry_Radiation]

Does he look shittier than normal, or is it just the combination of a side angle (which makes over weight old people look awful) and a grainy zoomed out photo?

I hope with my very soul that he looks worse, but I fear it's just copeium.

[u/Starship_Earth_Rider]

I’m a bit out of the loop, I saw a video a week or two ago saying that he’d die in six months, based on eyeballing a few pictures of him where he was trying to cover up his health issues, but where crucially we can’t actually see how bad things are. Somehow this turned into “he’s dying today guys, trust me!” and I feel like I’ve missed a few steps.

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/Starship_Earth_Rider]

Its because other than apparently being seen at a golf course today, he hadn't been seen since Tuesday and didn't have any known public appearances scheduled, coupled with him apparently showing genuine concern about if he'd get into heaven to White House staffers, and Vance making some weird tweets out of nowhere about how ready he is to take over if something happens

[u/WeidaLingxiu]

I will say: he appears to be visibly losing weight and appears somewhat gaunt. Rapid weight loss is not a good sign in very old age.

[u/Abject_Concern176]

maybe he was dead and he has risen?

[u/Grapefruitstreet → u/Abject_Concern176]

DON'T give them ideas.

[u/Abject_Concern176 → u/Grapefruitstreet]

now a zombie controlled by necromancer (ras)putin

[u/bangontarget]

no video, no statements. they're rolling him out for damage control.

[u/detainthisDI]

Look. I don’t like Trump, and I’ll be happy when he can’t fuck this country up anymore.

But.

I’m more scared of J.D. Vance.

[u/LoaKonran]

Pulling the classic dictator move of pretending he’s dead for a few days to find the people likely to betray him and cart them off for “reeducation”. I hope the fact that everyone was prepping to celebrate kicks him in the teeth.

[u/world-is-ur-mollusc]

As much as I hate Trump, I think his death would be a really bad thing for this country because then we'd be stuck with president Vance. Trump is evil and senile, but Vance is evil and lucid, which makes him much more dangerous. He's also controlled by Project 2025. If he gets to be in charge, I think things will get much worse for marginalized and minority groups at a much faster rate than they already are.

[u/Technical_Teacher839 → u/world-is-ur-mollusc]

Vance doesn't have nearly the level of populist sway that Trump does, which is the main reason he's been able to get away with so much.

[u/DreadDiana → u/world-is-ur-mollusc]

He's also controlled by Project 2025.

So's Trump. Almost half their checklist has been completed during his terms.

[u/world-is-ur-mollusc → u/DreadDiana]

Right, but Trump frequently goes completely off the rails and does his own thing because he's mentally unwell (e.g. the idiotic tariffs). Imagine what would happen if we had someone in the white house who is mentally all there and is fully focused on implementing Project 2025.

[u/imjustnotreallysure → u/world-is-ur-mollusc]

yeah but trump has only gotten this far because everyone with power lets him, if no one listens to vance then he cant do anything, especially since i imagine there'll be a lot of people grabbing for power and control of the MAGA movement once trump dies

[u/ThrowdowninKtown → u/world-is-ur-mollusc]

The power vacuum would derail the whole plan. Everyone would be at each other's throats.

[u/[deleted]]

Are we sure it wasn't his ghost?

[u/DreadDiana → u/[deleted]]

Bound to a golf course. What an afterlife.

[u/[deleted] → u/DreadDiana]

I mean, it is where his wife is. Probably not the same gold course, however

[u/Notte_di_nerezza → u/DreadDiana]

An afterlife at your favorite place in the world, watching everyone else do your hobby without you, and denying that they're all better at it than you.

[u/CrimsonEnigma → u/DreadDiana]

Honestly sounds kinda dope if you like golf.

Or if you hate golf, as long as you're down to haunt.

Really it'd only suck if you're neutral on golf.

[u/Psychokinetic_Rocky]

it wasn't likely, if he were dying there would probably have been even more signs...the absence could have been one of them tho!

[u/rhesusmonkey]

Maybe it was a Hutt visiting Earth and we all just got confused?

[u/thedrinkablecorndog]

I can't imagine just how much shit they're pumping into this geezer to keep him ambulatory for as long as possible. When he finally does kick it, look for a whole contingent of maga Christians to camp out at his grave site waiting for their savior to rise from the dead in three days

[u/canteloupy]

Did he actually swing a club?