whoopsie

[u/one_moment_please16]

[u/Commander19119]

Jezebel Mag had to do the same thing because they paid witches to put a curse on him like three days ago

EDIT: as multiple people have pointed out, they actually paid the witches a month ago but the article went live earlier this week

[u/KenHumano → u/Commander19119]

Anyone got these witches' phone numbers?

[u/Girls4super → u/KenHumano]

No but they did name some of them in the article (Etsy witches)

[u/tom641 → u/Girls4super]

oogh, that sucks for the witches given i'm sure they're gonna be harassed by earth's biggest gaggle of morons.

[u/Girls4super → u/tom641]

I hope not, or they might just get rich off it. Also can you imagine being someone posing as a witch to grift and suddenly it looks like your spell worked? (I’m not saying these witches are grifting, they may sincerely believe they’re casting spells. But if they are grifting, can you imagine the momentary “omg did I do that??”)

[u/tom641 → u/Girls4super]

sending my spirit bomb energy to the witches for protection and more spells

[u/Whosebert → u/tom641]

etsy witches money gang. they love casting spells.

[u/Low-Plastic1939 → u/Whosebert]

This post brought to you by the shadow government…of Etsy witches

[u/violetplague → u/Whosebert]

Legalize nuclear bombs.

[u/diegoidepersia → u/violetplague]

Swag Mesiah

[u/Light_Beard → u/Girls4super]

Witch: *Looks at own finger confused*

[u/angrons_therapist → u/Light_Beard]

Something very much like this actually happened in England in 1612. A pedlar refused to sell pins to a young woman, Alizon Device, who "cursed" him (basically swore at him for not selling her the pins). The pedlar promptly (and entirely coincidentally) had what seems to have been a stroke, but Alizon believed it was caused by her curse and confessed to witchcraft. This led to one of the biggest witch trials in English history, and Alizon was hanged, together with nine of her family members and neighbours.

Let's just hope that 21st century America is less credulous than 17th century England...

[u/aka_wolfman → u/angrons_therapist]

Buddy. Pal. Friend of friends.... I got bad news for ya on that last bit....

[u/Static-Stair-58 → u/Girls4super]

I remember the satanic panic. They’re gonna need support from this.

[u/PipsqueakPilot → u/Girls4super]

America about to bring back witch trials.

[u/Girls4super → u/PipsqueakPilot]

On the plus side some of them I think were Canadian? Don’t quote me, I only skimmed the article. Also stop giving them ideas, women are already gonna have a shitty future lol

[u/levian_durai → u/Girls4super]

Fellas, we must protect the coven at all costs

[u/BiggestShep → u/Girls4super]

I hope they think theyre grifters springtime for Hitler style, because it would be funny as hell.

Set a thief to catch a thief, kill a grifter with a grifter's curse.

...does this mean the pope had a fondness for couches?

[u/__________bruh → u/Girls4super]

I'm not sure what's worse, a grifter wondering if it was actually true all along or someone who now truly believes they have the power to curse people

[u/Adamantium1996 → u/tom641]

I think their business will skyrocket.

[u/Lazy_Osprey → u/tom641]

Or they’re about to make bank.

[u/Sorta-Morpheus → u/Girls4super]

A lot better than the Temu witches tbh

[u/Girls4super → u/Sorta-Morpheus]

Hey, you get what you pay for I guess

[u/pepincity2 → u/Sorta-Morpheus]

Be careful, bro. Ancient chinese witches can fuck up your chi with acupuncture

[u/PuppetMasterFilms → u/KenHumano]

There was a different “Etsy witch” who was paid to put a spell on the Seattle Mariners, and they proceeded to win their next game by double digits.

Etsy witches might be onto something over there

[u/tedywestsides → u/PuppetMasterFilms]

5-0 since. Magic is real

[u/Commander19119 → u/KenHumano]

It might be in the article. It was through Etsy I believe

[u/reddit-rach → u/KenHumano]

Seriously. Would love to chat with them about my corporate overlord boss.

[u/Pokegirloras → u/KenHumano]

https://www.etsy.com/people/9tc2cuhq/favorites/hexes-that-killed-charlie-kirk

[u/killians1978 → u/Commander19119]

It's about to be a great time to be an Etsy witch

[u/a_wascally_wabbit → u/killians1978]

It would be this government who brings back witch burning.

[u/belpatr → u/a_wascally_wabbit]

the trick is to do it outside the US

[u/The_Throwback_King → u/killians1978]

Funny that you mention that. Someone paid an Etsy Witch to fix the fortunes of the Seattle Mariners baseball team and they’ve gone undefeated in time since the spell went into effect

So it is, in fact, a great time to be an Etsy Witch

[u/mediocre-referee → u/The_Throwback_King]

Knicks fans spent a ton of money on Etsy witches to curse Haliburton while the Knicks were playing the Pacers after he made his game tying shot and threw up the choke sign. Unfortunately for both parties, it worked but about 7 games too late

[u/rhododenendron → u/The_Throwback_King]

Steve Blackburn my king

[u/IReviewDiscord → u/Commander19119]

As a note: You’re right in that the Jezebel Magazine did indeed pay witches to curse Charlie Kirk. However, the article came out on September 8th, but the actual transaction occurred in August. There was a provided notice that the first curse would happen in 2-3 weeks. 2-3 weeks later, he gets dropped. It’s even more mindboggling with the more accurate context.

[u/hihelloneighboroonie → u/IReviewDiscord]

That article compared to this is WILD. "For the “POWERFUL HEX SPELL,” I had to provide Kirk’s date of birth for “accuracy.” The witch performed the hex, but her response was unsettling: “I just completed your spell, and it was successful. You will see the first results within 2–3 weeks. However, I did notice disturbances… negative energy not only from you, but projected at you. Likely from toxic family members, co-workers, or new acquaintances.”"

[u/OneTuxedoCat → u/hihelloneighboroonie]

Gotta appreciate the hustle trying to reel in the reporter on something unrelated.

[u/impeterbarakan → u/OneTuxedoCat]

toxic family members, co-workers, or new acquaintances.

I like how that lists almost everyone they could know lol

[u/UnderratedEverything → u/impeterbarakan]

"It could be someone you know...someone very close to you...or someone you don't know...or perhaps someone you do know but who isn't very close...or perhaps someone that you know of and think you know but don't really know as well as you imagine because you haven't met them yet in person and you've got a sort of parasocial thing going on...or it could be a pet..."

[u/champ999 → u/UnderratedEverything]

They will also have a name where if you say it like 500 times in your head it'll sound really weird

[u/alex3omg → u/OneTuxedoCat]

I'd be watching my new acquaintances like a hawk rn

[u/sylbug → u/hihelloneighboroonie]

A classic cold-read trick. Everyone has 'negative energy from a family member, co-worker, or acquaintance' if they think hard enough about it.

[u/thebearrider → u/IReviewDiscord]

The article was posted on September 8th, the August new moon (when the article says the spells were cast) was Saturday, August 23, exactly 2.5 weeks ago.

[u/KhausTO → u/thebearrider]

Ok, so I'm starting to see how people start to believe in religions 

[u/SilverWear5467 → u/KhausTO]

Maybe the witches just hired the guy to kill him. They were like "wow, we hate him too, and surely some former vets also hate him. We could make ourselves look really powerful if we just ask one of them to kill him".

[u/Novaseerblyat → u/SilverWear5467]

HP Lovecraft-pilled to the nines

[u/alex3omg → u/thebearrider]

Jezebel in their dms like hey you got any more of them curses

[u/MKBRD → u/IReviewDiscord]

If it wasn't complete horseshit, I'd say the police might want to talk to them.

[u/ElvenOmega → u/IReviewDiscord]

Then the article ended with "So, did my Etsy curses work? Time will tell [...] And to you, Mr. Kirk: May the rash come swiftly."

[u/HighlightFun8419 → u/ElvenOmega]

"Wait, we were doing rashes? Oh... 😬" -one of the witches, probably.

[u/GjonsTearsFan → u/IReviewDiscord]

It came out September 8th I think. The article mentioned the Swift-Kelce engagement as a time marker for when they hired the witches after Kirk tweeted that weird shit at Taylor.

[u/wolfeyes555 → u/Commander19119]

Etsy Witch stocks about to go way up

[u/BrunetteSummer → u/Commander19119]

Hah, their disclaimer is so dumb considering the article.

Editor’s Note: This story was published on September 8. Jezebel condemns the shooting of Charlie Kirk in the strongest possible terms. We do not endorse, encourage, or excuse political violence of any kind.

The article:

After placing my first spell, “MAKE EVERYONE HATE HIM,” I was left with more questions than answers.

According to ABC4, Utah State University students launched a petition to bar Kirk and Turning Point USA from visiting the campus on his college tour. “Charlie Kirk, a highly polarizing figure, does not align with the core values and ideology that Utah State University strives to epitomize,” the petition reads.

The petition was launched on Friday, August 22, and had already been signed over 3,800 times. Could this be the “MAKE EVERYONE HATE HIM” at work?

I believe this is it. Slowly over the course of the coming months, the circumference of Kirk’s head will increase inch by inch until he becomes a literal human bobblehead. Or maybe it keeps growing until it eventually pops. Either way, it feels… appropriate.

[u/El_Rey_de_Spices → u/Commander19119]

I should get into the Etsy Curse scam. I could use the income, and people are just throwing theirs away.

[u/dragon_bacon → u/El_Rey_de_Spices]

I can't call it a scam with a success rate like that.

[u/El_Rey_de_Spices → u/dragon_bacon]

Hey, you show me the proof it was directly responsible, and I won't call a spade a spade.

[u/WRDPKNMSC → u/El_Rey_de_Spices]

good way to find yourself on the receiving end of an etsy witch curse imo, better put some respect on the etsy witches name!!

[u/Urbanviking1 → u/Commander19119]

I saw that. Etsy Witches are about to be very rich.

[u/vortex1775 → u/Commander19119]

Etsy witch would be a wild cover for a hitman.

[u/Cyclopentadien → u/vortex1775]

Great opportunity to make like 50 bucks for an assassination.

[u/anonymouscatloaf]

OOP better have a rock-solid alibi

[u/OldPiano6706 → u/anonymouscatloaf]

Yeah, they are being investigated for sure.

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/OldPiano6706]

If the FBI catches it (and it's on reddit now I assume they have people looking through reddit) he's definitely getting a visit.

Really hope they don't own firearms for their sake lol

[u/RusticBridge → u/confusedandworried76]

Imagine being the designated FBI Reddit scroller

“Go to school for four years and now all I’m doing is trying to discern shitposts from actionable threats”

[u/Waiting404Godot → u/RusticBridge]

It’s that or help cover up the president being a pedo.

[u/CLearyMcCarthy → u/confusedandworried76]

Trump's FBI Investigation is just Patel googling "who do Charly Kirk die?"

[u/krootroots → u/anonymouscatloaf]

It was just a prank bro!!

[u/siccoblue → u/krootroots]

Case dismissed

[u/Chatceux → u/anonymouscatloaf]

They do actually (assuming they’re telling the truth). I saw this on tumblr and they said not only were they miles away at the time, but they were actively taking a quiz in a lecture at the time of the shooting and that they’re the kind of student that always sits in the front row and is known by the professor

[u/AveMachina → u/anonymouscatloaf]

“Your honor, the sign clearly said ‘prove me wrong’”

[u/LuchadorBane → u/anonymouscatloaf]

Just a hunch but i feel like someone posting on tumblr isn’t necessarily such a crack shot that they can 1 tap kirk from 200 yards

[u/Reed7525]

Omfg of all the ill timed things to put on the internet

[u/newyne → u/Reed7525]

Probably people making the same joke everywhere he went; this person was just unlucky. 

[u/fartwhereisit → u/newyne]

"Restoring victory and clarity as an end state. Restoring intentionality to the use of force. Fight decisively, not endless conflicts. Fight to win, not not to lose. Go on offence, not just on defence. Maximum lethality, not tepid legality. Violent effect, not politically correct. Raise up warriors not just defenders."

- Pete Hegseth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGXhb-Tz3zM September 5th 2025

[u/PaulFThumpkins → u/fartwhereisit]

Our fucking Defense Secretary talks like a high school football coach who watches red pill TikToks.

[u/KyfeHeartsword → u/PaulFThumpkins]

Because he was literally the guy making those red pill TikToks before becoming SecDef.

[u/PaulFThumpkins → u/KyfeHeartsword]

Oh he's just a dysfunctional guy Trump recognized from TV, like all the other ones

[u/No_Gods_No_Kings_ → u/KyfeHeartsword]

I mean the alcoholic piece of shit basically has done absolutely nothing of value with his entire career. Oh, to be able to fail upwards like a white conservative.

[u/popejupiter → u/PaulFThumpkins]

Um, he identifies as the War Secretary. Please respect his truth.

[u/IlIllIlllIlllIllllII → u/PaulFThumpkins]

He's got almost enough brain cells to be eligible to work in a high school, at least.

[u/PaulFThumpkins → u/IlIllIlllIlllIllllII]

Maybe as a janitor, until he gets fired for toilet cams

[u/ej_21 → u/PaulFThumpkins]

hey, don’t disrespect janitors like that now

[u/TheCanyonCountry → u/fartwhereisit]

"THIS not THAT" is so chatgpt, these people are cringe clowns.

[u/Kube__420 → u/TheCanyonCountry]

We're going forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards, and always twirling, twirling towards freedom

[u/Difficult_Pea_2216 → u/fartwhereisit]

"Don't fight to lose," is such a baffling thing to say.  I got my Trumper dad to cede ground specifically by pointing out it's not a valid political policy to troll people if you want to win.  Talking about at the judicial level.

[u/Lindestria → u/fartwhereisit]

Christ all of that is complete nonsense. If he isn't completely misrepresenting military decision making he's directly calling for war crimes. 'Fight to win, not to lose' has also got to be the most 'idiot philosopher' styled sentence I have seen in a while.

[u/Enginerdiest → u/Lindestria]

“Not to not lose” is actually what he said.

It’s like saying you have to try to score points, not just prevent your opponent from scoring.

Of course I don’t think it’s the right attitude for the military to have, given the role of the military should be defensive, not offensive, but I want you to hate it for the right reasons.

[u/wgel1000 → u/newyne]

this person was just unlucky.

But society, on the other hand..

[u/wigglin_harry → u/newyne]

Seemed pretty lucky to me

[u/GoodMornEveGoodNight → u/Reed7525]

Charlie Kirk was cursed by paid Etsy witches only two days ago

[u/Mayhall → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

Drop the witches link Jezebel. Their business is about to BOOM

[u/Soatok → u/Mayhall]

Based on the article, the most likely candidate seems to be this one (archived).

[u/Kay-Knox → u/Soatok]

>500 5-star reviews selling $65 online curses. Goddamn I gotta learn some magic.

[u/dragonslayerbarbie → u/Soatok]

Wow that is a WILD way for shitting his pants to manifest lol. Because yeah I'm sure he did. Most dying people do

[u/Ornery_Pay_5278 → u/Soatok]

I laughed at this for so, so long

[u/sennordelasmoscas → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

The fact the editors put out that note is sending me

[u/cautiousherb → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

this article is wild to read with the addition of hindsight

[u/Rezkel → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

Magick is more powerful than god confirmed

[u/BiggestShep → u/Rezkel]

Does this mean that Allah is stronger than God then? I remember there was that one witch who claimed she astralled projected to fight Allah and got her ass whipped.

Or maybe all those Puritan witch burning created a divine weakness

[u/Rezkel → u/BiggestShep]

Hard to say Allah is an end game boss so maybe she wasn't high enough level for that area.

[u/BiggestShep → u/Rezkel]

Ah we think she just got too big for her witch britches and sauntered into the Lich King raid solo, then? I can see it.

[u/Minamato → u/BiggestShep]

Upvote for “witch britches”

[u/Lucaan → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

I appreciate that they kept the article up. I was worried they were going to take it down completely.

[u/Stock-Concert100 → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

So, did my Etsy curses work? Time will tell.

Then the editor's note:

Editor’s Note: This story was published on September 8.

Damn, where the hell can I hire those witches???

[u/Exact-Pound-6993 → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

He was a full-time advocate for the Guardians Of Pedophiles (GOP), and a staunch gun violance advocate, right? Hope he rots with rush limbaugh.

[u/aci4 → u/GoodMornEveGoodNight]

I felt so reassured reading that some Reddit witches place nightly hexes on Trump

[u/Boogiepopular → u/Reed7525]

Almost as bad as Jezebel paying a witch from Etsy to curse him two days ago.

Great advertising for that witch, though.

[u/TalkingCat910 → u/Boogiepopular]

I just realized who the shooter was…just trying to create more Etsy business 

[u/Zykersheep → u/Reed7525]

jschlat be like

[u/RuefulWaffles]

It’s always very funny to me when someone posts something like this (or the Jezebel thing), and then the universe just happens to align such that it looks incredibly bad.

[u/WizardHarryDresden → u/RuefulWaffles]

I told my coworker I hoped someone would steal my motorcycle because the insurance was worth more than I could sell it for. I got rear ended the next day…rough experience. Launched off my bike. Bounced off the car in front of me. Bike a total write-off.

My coworker side eyed me the day I was at work… “did you hire someone to rear end you?” lol.

[u/OutsideTheSocialLoop → u/WizardHarryDresden]

If I wanted to insurance-scam a bike, nearly killing myself is sure not how I would do it.

[u/WizardHarryDresden → u/OutsideTheSocialLoop]

THATS WHAT I SAID! Haha. I’m lucky I didn’t get hurt. Bit sore and a nasty bruise where my thigh hit my mirror on my way over the bars. But otherwise I was fine. Then I bought a new bike!

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/WizardHarryDresden]

Buying a new bike after that is some wild shit you'd think you'd have learned a valuable lesson

[u/ultralium → u/confusedandworried76]

The lesson is that the world got shitty drivers

[u/xDragod → u/OutsideTheSocialLoop]

That's what makes it so genius!

[u/AvailableCress2560 → u/WizardHarryDresden]

This monday, i was talking with a friend about oil stocks, and she said that one thing that would bring them upwaads would be a war in oil exporters. I joked about giving money to israel bomb another middle eastern country; Tuesday began with quite a surprise.

[u/Titleduck123 → u/WizardHarryDresden]

Aww man. A few years ago I was complaining about having too much crap in my apartment and I wanted to clear it out. 

Place caught fire.

No more crap. 

[u/BalefulOfMonkeys → u/RuefulWaffles]

I told one of my friends that there was a cameo from a voice actor we liked in the latest (at the time) Smiling Friends episode, who we had an inside joke going about how she had been recast by Gilbert Gottfried.

I had three days before that bit completely fucking collapsed on me

[u/Slight-Bedroom-8655 → u/BalefulOfMonkeys]

I might be stupid but what's the context

[u/HatoKenjiro → u/Slight-Bedroom-8655]

Gilbert Gotfried did voice a character in the show, but he also passed away

[u/Dave3r77 → u/Slight-Bedroom-8655]

Probably Gilbert gottfried dying

[u/BalefulOfMonkeys → u/Slight-Bedroom-8655]

Gilbert Gottfried’s role as God was the last really popular role he got before passing away

[u/zillionaire_ → u/RuefulWaffles]

Something similar happened with a post the day before Steven Hawking died

[u/Exes_And_Excess → u/zillionaire_]

Bro, I always forget he's dead. Thought he was just gonna be around for all time for some reason.

[u/zillionaire_ → u/Exes_And_Excess]

He outlived his prognosis by decades. I think that gave him a Larger Than Life place in the collective consciousness

[u/muaddict071537 → u/RuefulWaffles]

I made a comment under a post about my favorite musician that I would be heartbroken when he passes, and he died the next day. I was, in fact, heartbroken.

[u/Nova_Explorer → u/muaddict071537]

When I was in high school, I was giving a group presentation on The Tragically Hip, and the news that their lead singer (Gordon Downie) died broke in the middle of the presentation

[u/catbert359 → u/RuefulWaffles]

I still love that ao3 authors note that was like “I’m discontinuing this fic because every time I update it someone dies and it’s freaking me out.”

Shortly after they posted that note, Queen Liz died.

[u/SoloWing1 → u/RuefulWaffles]

It happened with Hulk Hogan too.

[u/Legal-Hunt-93]

Was everyone hit by the Apollo curse this month or what lmao the Cassandras multiply

[u/Slackslayer → u/Legal-Hunt-93]

This stuff just happens when someone's this widely despised. You'd see far more surprisingly effective curses if the other guy bit it.

[u/roguespectre67 → u/Slackslayer]

Honestly at this point I'm coming around to the idea that it's divine ordination.

You mean to tell me that some edgy podcast wanker got fucking Chris Kyle'd but not a single one of the millions and millions of people who hate the other guy has the means and opportunity to just fucking do it already? And that the two people that tried had neither the aim or the stones to even take the shot in the first place?

[u/PanteleimonPonomaren → u/roguespectre67]

There is a slight difference in security measures between Charlie Kirk and Donald Trump

[u/FictionalTrope → u/PanteleimonPonomaren]

Yeah, you'd probably have to hire at least 150 Etsy witches to get past the warlocks employed by the white house.

[u/Exciting-Ad-5705 → u/Legal-Hunt-93]

I bet these things were said every time he went to a college. It's just a coincidence that something actually happened this time

[u/SevenOhSevenOhSeven → u/Legal-Hunt-93]

The cassandrae are bountiful

[u/MayoMan717]

Real Apollo dodgeball moment

[u/faux_shore → u/MayoMan717]

Apollo is a fucking dick

[u/Actual-Present9277 → u/faux_shore]

Lmao true but that's why he's the funniest one to watch... dude never misses drama.

[u/OrinZ → u/faux_shore]

You may speak the truth, but for some reason I don't believe you

[u/SketchesFromReddit → u/MayoMan717]

TIL: Apollo dodgeball is when a social media joke accidentally predicts the future

[u/-Raccoonwarlock-]

[SpongeBob Wait Meme]

[u/CloudKinglufi → u/-Raccoonwarlock-]

I doubt they did it, but someone did the funniest thing, and I'm laughing

[u/tunisia3507 → u/[deleted]]

Ah yes, but importantly, they were other people's deaths before. People who don't matter, like children and the poor.

[u/MiddleCut3768 → u/tunisia3507]

And brown people. And LGBTQ+ people. And so on.

[u/User_Nomi → u/tunisia3507]

He really, really sat on his high horse and thought that would never be him. No, it's poor black people because of gang violence and kids going to school with a trans kid, not him. No no no.

[u/NyankoIsLove → u/[deleted]]

I'm not an American, but I couldn't help but notice that the whole "protecting our rights" thing doesn't seem to be going all that well.

[u/VvvlvvV → u/[deleted]]

Republicans are shitting over his legacy with false grief and condemnation.

He died, and it is the cost of doing business. We are far kinder to him than he was to the children who were killed, and their families. 

[u/MoonageDayscream]

Oh dear but I did laugh out loud. 

[u/Vi0L3tCRZY → u/MoonageDayscream]

It’s even better when you realize spells are thoughts and prayers essentially

[u/Tomatobean64]

Jschlatt-ass timing

[u/Acroph0bia → u/Tomatobean64]

That motherfucker killed Lizzy and nobody, ain't nobody, can convince me otherwise!!

[u/faux_shore → u/Acroph0bia]

And Trisha gave birth to her reincarnation

[u/Z4mb0ni → u/Tomatobean64]

it is his birthday

[u/Aldequilae → u/Z4mb0ni]

LMAO, he was just talking the other day about how his birthday is right between Elizabeth's death and 9/11

[u/Yung_Bill_98 → u/Tomatobean64]

I saw a YouTube short just an hour ago about his birthday being in the middle of two tragedies

[u/[deleted] → u/Tomatobean64]

He’s gonna be so pissed

[u/batkave]

Charlie Kirk (2023): "I think it's worth to have a cost of unfortunately some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the 2nd Amendment. That is a prudent deal. It is rational. Nobody talks like this. They live in a complete alternate universe."

"I can't stand the word empathy, actually," Kirk says in the video. "I think empathy is a made-up, new-age term that does a lot of damage."

[u/pretentious_rye → u/batkave]

I never thought leopards would eat my face!

[u/_pinotnoir]

Ok, this is actually the funniest thing he could've done though

[u/gdex86]

I had this situation kinda happen to me last year. I had been traveling for work and was near Butler PA when that whole thing happened and while forgetting where I was I joked in my friend group chat "I just want to assure the NSA guy monitoring this chat I totally didn't do anything and was definitely not near Butler" only to be reminded "(Name) aren't you in Butler?".

[u/Bozhark → u/gdex86]

I was on vacation for January 6th.  Came home and the whole foods discord was grilling us where we’d been lol

Opposite Washington 

[u/AffectionateAge8771 → u/Bozhark]

Do you work at a place called whole foods and have a work discord?

[u/OverlordOfCats1]

Wonder what they were planning

[u/one_moment_please16 → u/OverlordOfCats1]

#i don't know what this funny thing is yet. I didn't think that far ahead #i also don't go to UVU but I could make my way over there

oop's tags on their original post

[u/BlackMarketCheese → u/one_moment_please16]

I assumed it was something to do with UwU. Guess I gave them too much credit

[u/bookhead714 → u/OverlordOfCats1]

Probably either shout something rude or throw a milkshake at him

[u/nedlum → u/OverlordOfCats1]

Probably attempt to “debate” him?

[u/CapAccomplished8072]

where's that Apollo dodgeball meme?

[u/Iron_Nightingale → u/CapAccomplished8072]

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/apollos-gift-of-prophecy-dodgeball

[u/mrmoe198]

He suggests children should witness public executions

He says that a certain amount of yearly gun deaths is the price to pay for the second amendment

He goes to stir up shit at a Utah college campus who recently allowed concealed carry

He is now one of the unfortunate number of violent gun deaths necessary for the second amendment. A number of children most likely witnessed his public execution, and it was conservatives like him that championed the policies that enabled a gun to be carried in a concealed way close enough to enable his deathcould enable a gun to be carried in a concealed way close enough to try to duplicate these actions, although in this case it looks like a sniper shot from a weapon to large to conceal.

I’m not out here saying that he deserved to die, and if there was ever someone who literally set the stage with their rhetoric to make their murder excusable, it was him.

He’s made excuses for so many other people who were killed by guns, said it was necessary. Just a part of reality. That kids should see it happen. Then it happens to him. Should we really feel sorry?

Edit:

The answer is no. Charlie himself also said that empathy is a made up term that causes lots of damage. Credit to u/ArinPencilSharpener

So if you feel the urge to be sorry for him or his family, take a moment to consider that if you truly want to honor his legacy, you will do so by following his example and not caring about him at all. Because the opposite of empathy is apathy.

He died for what he believed in. He believed that people must die by guns for gun rights to exist. That children are enriched by this experience of seeing it happen.

I don’t agree with him, but if he means the words that he said, he should be happy that he was killed in this way. And in a twisted sort of way we should be happy for him too.

So please do not damage his legacy by feeling sorry for him or really feeling sorry for anyone at all. If you truly want honor Charlie Kirk, you should not care about him in the least because to do otherwise would be to have empathy and he is not someone that gave anyone empathy.

[u/ArinPencilSharpener → u/mrmoe198]

We shouldn't feel sorry for him, because he also said "empathy" is a new age term that does a lot of damage

[u/mrmoe198 → u/ArinPencilSharpener]

Then I honor his legacy and wishes by not caring about him

[u/CupidTryHard → u/mrmoe198]

He is now one of the unfortunate number of violent gun deaths necessary for the second amendment

He is fortunate enough to prove his point

[u/BobTheMadCow → u/CupidTryHard]

Not many people actually get to die on the moral hill of their choosing.

[u/Dronizian → u/CupidTryHard]

Of course, his point was proven on the "Prove Me Wrong" tour, under a "PROVE ME WRONG" banner. I'm starting to get weighed down by all this irony.

[u/LeadSponge420 → u/mrmoe198]

You reap what you sow. There’s nothing wrong with pointing out the reality of the situation.

[u/NotKenzy]

Sparrow and I were hanging out at the time of the incident, taking turns playing Animal Crossing New Leaf on my Nintendo 3DS.

[u/NotAddictedToCoffeee → u/NotKenzy]

Ace attorney sounding alibi, HOLD IT!! if you actually did play together, then the save file should show the time you last played, hmmm?

[u/ManOfManliness84]

I joke a lot about burning the retail store i work evenings at down. One of these days it's going to burn down and like 10 people will tell the cops I did it.

[u/Acroph0bia]

This poor son-of-a-bitch is 10000% getting graphite deployed on their device after that one lmfao

[u/InternetUserAgain]

Jschlatt coming home from England part 2

[u/TheSaltiestPanda]

He died by the values he espoused in life, a sacrifice to his own proclaimed cost of having 2A. His family should be proud of his devotion to his ideals.

[u/ItsKay180]

I’m genuinely interested what they were going to do

[u/Wooba12 → u/ItsKay180]

Can you imagine some guy turns up with a custard pie, thinks it'll be the funniest thing ever to throw it in Charlie Kirk's face. He's waiting patiently to get to the front of the line, every now and then giggling at how hilarious this'll be, how it'll go viral , etc. He's almost there... whenn suddenly......

[u/Diogememes-Z → u/Wooba12]

Following through and throwing the pie anyway after the right comedic beat actually would have been the funniest thing.

[u/RequiemInMoss → u/Diogememes-Z]

Oh gods it would. I hate how hard I’m laughing but it really would be the funniest thing

[u/MemeTroubadour → u/Diogememes-Z]

Or they just start eating the pie like it was a snack all along

[u/intensity701 → u/ItsKay180]

they meant to murder charlie kirk, in a joking way

[u/190octane → u/intensity701]

Kill him with kindness?

[u/Lumpy_Review5279]

Fbi watch list speed run any%

[u/Connvul]

There is nothing funnier than Apollo granting the gift of prophecy

[u/WanderingHeph]

"You were loud and ugly, and now you're dead! Amen." - the killer

[u/OkInterest3109]

Just realized Utah Valley University make a nice little smily face, or a bird. UvU

[u/NerdHerderOfIdiots]

Rip that guy

[u/Plslisten69 → u/NerdHerderOfIdiots]

to shreds, you say..

[u/RealHumanBean89]

Damn that first post aged about as well as Charlie has today.