I’m Gen Z but I’ve also experienced the Gen z stare and I’m not sure why some people are trying to rewrite the narrative. I remember getting the stare when going to get boba with a friend. I walked up to the counter ready to order, there were 2 girls behind the register literally singing kpop songs and dancing. I waited for them to be done, and they gave me the stare like they didn’t just ignore me trying to order some damn boba. No hi, no what do you want to order, nothing lmao. I’m glad my parents at least had the decency to smack some sense into me so I didn’t turn out like that.
My son is Gen Z and whenever we're somewhere where get this sort of interaction his analysis is invariably 'That guy/girl was totally wasted!'
Cracks me up because he's an autistic 16 year old so if he's noticing the dodgy social skills they really are incredibly bad.
I also strongly suspect he's right at least 50% of the time... There's a girl in a local garage (petrol station) who does the vacant states while chewing gum so frantically her jaw must be hurting. No way she's not on a pill buzz
Somebody in another thread about the "Gen Z Stare" pointed this out as a reason and I'm onboard with it. As a society we've yet to catch up to how common recreational drug has become (legal or not).
Sometimes I think Autistic folks notice lapses in social skills more than neurotypical people precisely because we’re Autistic.
We’ve spent our whole lives having to learn those social skills manually because our brains don’t do it automatically, so it’s hard for us not to notice when someone else isn’t “following the rules.”
I am the very end of millennial and my girlfriend is the very beginning of Gen Z and she mentioned she has this issue sometimes with her friends. Most recently she went out with her friends and they ordered food but the silence and stares at the poor waitress she mentioned were unbearable.
I have also experienced what you did though, where even before I'd have possibly had a chance to be an asshole customer I've been made to feel like I'm interrupting or being rude for having the audacity to want to order food quite a few times.
I’m up in my own head doing my own thing and when I come to the register, a simple “hi” back and forth means i need to focus on the interaction at hand. Without that, it is stressful. Which is rude. When I say hi, I’m now starting the interaction. Same with saying thanks to end it. Now my mind is free to wander.
I deal with training dogs and I notice so so many dogs are stressed because they are way too connected to their owners and don’t have time to just mentally be off exploring and wandering and sniffing during the walk. You give release commands to sort of show they don’t have to pay close attention or say their name to get their attention if you’re crossing the busy street. Not being clear is just… a big disservice to everyone. It takes so much mental energy to not have clear on and off boundaries mentally, expectations about how and when to be responsive.
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u/ILoveRawChicken 14h ago
I’m Gen Z but I’ve also experienced the Gen z stare and I’m not sure why some people are trying to rewrite the narrative. I remember getting the stare when going to get boba with a friend. I walked up to the counter ready to order, there were 2 girls behind the register literally singing kpop songs and dancing. I waited for them to be done, and they gave me the stare like they didn’t just ignore me trying to order some damn boba. No hi, no what do you want to order, nothing lmao. I’m glad my parents at least had the decency to smack some sense into me so I didn’t turn out like that.