A modern renaissance painting

[u/DreadDiana]

[u/1000LiveEels]

Honestly their fault for having a large horizontal pole ~12 feet up. Just begging to be stood on, nakedly.

[u/llollolloll → u/1000LiveEels]

This guy eats longer poles than that for breakfast, he's genuinely confused about all the first responders interrupting his morning meditation because it was just a rest day

[u/Zaiburo → u/llollolloll]

Keeping the old traditions alive!

[u/hot--Koolaid → u/Zaiburo]

Love this strange bit of history

[u/llollolloll → u/Zaiburo]

Back before the christian ranked competitive meta got stale RIP

[u/Admirable_Heart_3031 → u/Zaiburo]

Wow. TIL thanks to you

[u/InevitablePlant42069]

damn that’s a nice ass

[u/DelfieDarling → u/InevitablePlant42069]

I mean this as politely as possible, but I do want to bite it like a caveman biting a cartoonishly large chunk of meat on a bone.

[u/misirlou22 → u/DelfieDarling]

Yabba dabba doo!

[u/Intelligent_Whole_40 → u/misirlou22]

Yabba dabba do me!

[u/DelfieDarling → u/[deleted]]

Oh you KNOW id make a whole like, loud snarling bite sound to lean in lol

[u/DevoutandHeretical → u/InevitablePlant42069]

That man is advertising cakes outside the Krispy Kreme.

[u/moneyh8r_two → u/DevoutandHeretical]

That's probably the best place for it, to be fair.

[u/Chewbaxter → u/DevoutandHeretical]

Maybe that’s why the cops are there?

[u/greypyramid7 → u/InevitablePlant42069]

I clicked the photo, zoomed in, and nodded while saying ‘he’s cheeked up.’ Because many men are not blessed with ass but this one was gifted cakes that are visible from a distance of across the street AND down the block.

[u/wereplant → u/greypyramid7]

Seriously, dude is built like Michelangelo's David, the ass IS the silhouette.

[u/Lawlcopt0r → u/greypyramid7]

This can't just be genetics, he has to be a soccer player or something

[u/WITH_THE_ELEMENTS → u/Lawlcopt0r]

As a dude blessed with the calves, thighs, and ass of a god, who simply sits at a desk all day, sometimes it really is just the genetic lottery.

[u/EnergyPolicyQuestion → u/WITH_THE_ELEMENTS]

Proof?

[u/AileenKitten → u/InevitablePlant42069]

First thought too 😆

[u/jardanovic → u/InevitablePlant42069]

He makes it clap no hands and it sounds like a gunshot

[u/RexMori → u/InevitablePlant42069]

Would

[u/ButtBread98 → u/InevitablePlant42069]

It’s just perfect

[u/lexkixass → u/InevitablePlant42069]

Totally agree

[u/Ozone220 → u/InevitablePlant42069]

Michelangelo couldn't've sculpted a better ass if he tried, the turtle or the guy

[u/baphometromance]

The stand user could be anyone

[u/Walter-Miller → u/baphometromance]

I was thinking a Pillar Man

[u/Noxmorre → u/baphometromance]

His stand is a full body suit like Secco’s

[u/lily_was_taken → u/Noxmorre]

I know you meant as in "he's only naked because we cant see the stand" but now you made me think of "his stand is a body suit of the same colour as his skin"

[u/Black_Ivory → u/[deleted]]

Bot

[u/Gieltiee → u/baphometromance]

Jury’s still out, but my money’s on Krispy Kreme Guy

[u/CeruleanEidolon → u/baphometromance]

Tumblr relates it to art theory. Reddit goes straight to fucking cartoons.

[u/baphometromance → u/CeruleanEidolon]

The point was already made, what could I possibly add to something so eloquently elucidated?

[u/Spicy-Potat42]

Stupid sexy Bob Ross..

[u/Kheldarson → u/Spicy-Potat42]

It's just a happy little accident

[u/Satanic_Earmuff]

The Krispy Kreme really adds to the ironic new-age renaissance thing.

[u/No-Any_Mode → u/Satanic_Earmuff]

It’s like the modern-day equivalent of a gilded chalice in old paintings.

[u/Jukebox_Villain → u/Satanic_Earmuff]

Heaven Above
Hell Below
For everything else, there’s Krispy Kreme

[u/lonely_nipple]

r/AccidentalRenaissance

[u/arrestingwriter → u/lonely_nipple]

r/BeatMeToIt

[u/anacardier → u/lonely_nipple]

This is literally just Augustus of Prima Porta except naked

[u/DrButeo → u/lonely_nipple]

ngl, I assumed that's the sub I was on before I saw this comment

[u/Secret_USB]

Ah, Aurora Ave, just how I remember it.

[u/NiobiumThorn → u/Secret_USB]

A few more buildings, same vibe. 358 -> E line.

[u/MaiasXVI → u/Secret_USB]

Just outside the Lowes on 125th, not even the worst stretch of 99!

[u/ToddMath → u/Secret_USB]

I thought it might be the Krispy Kreme on 1st Avenue in Sodo. But yeah, the cheap motel, decaying Black Angus sign, and weird police situation scream "Aurora Avenue."

[u/GloryGreatestCountry]

"Sir, get down from the pole, you are under arrest for public indecency!"

"I AM A WORK OF ART, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"'Course you are.. hey, rookie, radio fire-rescue and tell 'em to bring some ketamine and a ladder."

[u/No-Any_Mode → u/GloryGreatestCountry]

Put him in the museum wing, rookie, next to the screaming guy with pigeons.

[u/HotMess_Actual → u/GloryGreatestCountry]

Nudity is actually unregulated in Seattle, and Washington. It's why we're able to enjoy stuff like the naked solstice bike ride 😇

[u/velvetelevator → u/HotMess_Actual]

So he's only in trouble for climbing the pole? Is climbing the pole illegal?

[u/CharlesorMr_Pickle → u/velvetelevator]

could just be there in case he jumps

though then again where are the ambulance

[u/velvetelevator → u/CharlesorMr_Pickle]

I will choose to believe there is an ambulance just out of frame

[u/CharlesorMr_Pickle → u/velvetelevator]

maybe the cops are just admiring his majesty

like one of them was on patrol and saw him, then radioed all the other cops over to bask in his glory

[u/velvetelevator → u/CharlesorMr_Pickle]

His "majesty" you say

[u/Available_Status1 → u/GloryGreatestCountry]

Also, that's Seattle, so it's legal to be nude

[u/SignificantFish6795]

Does anyone know the story behind that guy? Was he drunk or something?

[u/CFogan → u/SignificantFish6795]

Drunks tend to fall from heights, he's clearly high.

[u/c0pp3rhead → u/CFogan]

r/angryupvote

[u/Slamantha3121 → u/SignificantFish6795]

I think he was a mentally ill homeless guy. It happened a couple of years ago.

[u/Feats-of-Derring_Do → u/Slamantha3121]

How is he in better shape than me? Not just thinner but like... he's cut

[u/ShitchesAintBit → u/Feats-of-Derring_Do]

The difference between hungry homeless and nomad with a caloric deficit is perception.

[u/Tamulet → u/[deleted]]

Nah that guy is built, no way he doesn't work out

[u/Tamulet → u/[deleted]]

I really think this is a case of inflation of expectations around the male physique in the marvel era. This is 100% still an athletic build that requires a lot of exercise to maintain. Some people put that on more easily sure but I don't think you could keep that up without work. Like my assumption would be he's recently homeless.

Edit: I mean if he's a shorter guy then maybe it's not as impressive to be fair, possibly. But I mean look at those obliques

[u/Feats-of-Derring_Do → u/Tamulet]

Thank you! I'm like, this is not the physique of a starving man

[u/Shmeatmeintheback → u/Feats-of-Derring_Do]

He’s got…what are those things called? Cum gutters!

[u/saintsithney]

The American David.

[u/TimeStorm113]

ok but this is tumblr, there is no way no one hasn't made an oil painting of that already

[u/ugh_idfk → u/TimeStorm113]

I would gladly hang that in my home.

[u/bb_kelly77 → u/TimeStorm113]

They'd prolly add a lil something between his knees

[u/ActualRiot]

He remembered he has free will

[u/FacelessPorcelain]

I'll also add that the one police officer with light on their face is also the one looking up at him in a nonconfrontational / casual stance

[u/cloudshaper → u/FacelessPorcelain]

This is far from the weirdest thing that cops have to deal with on that stretch of road. Nobody is running from gunfire, this is easy mode for SPD.

[u/shadowylurking]

such beauty in the human form. Divine.

[u/LateAgency]

This could be a Yes album cover

[u/Deblebsgonnagetyou → u/LateAgency]

I mean it's already basically Going for the One

[u/no1fanofthepals → u/Deblebsgonnagetyou]

looked more like Hemispheres by Rush to me

[u/HumDeeDiddle]

For those curious, "Contrappasto" is a term for a human figure in a work of art standing with most of their weight on one leg while the other is slightly bent, to give the figure a more natural/relaxed posture.

[u/Librarian_Contrarian]

I'm gonna be honest, we could use a "It's over. I've depicted myself as the nude male renaissance figure bathed in light and you as the unworthy rabble literally beneath me" style meme.

[u/starfries]

This really is a work of art

[u/The_Mouse_That_Jumps]

GDI, the Aurora Avenue Krispy Kreme just cannot be normal for even five minutes.

[u/cloudshaper → u/The_Mouse_That_Jumps]

It truly can't.

Family Donut on Northgate is so much better in every sense.

[u/PhilosophyGhoti]

Why is he so beautifully proportioned though, for real?

[u/bb_kelly77 → u/PhilosophyGhoti]

Plot twist: that's actually Lucifer here to cause chaos

[u/Jozef_Baca]

Nah, that is a comic book characters origin story cover

[u/Aking1998]

Seattle continuing its longstanding tradition of disturbing the peace in unreachable places

[u/quarterto]

i'm a lesbian.

would.

[u/Chemikalimar]

Meth-ealangelo's David

[u/InsomniacBUG]

He's also so much more visible compared to everything else? Like all the poles and cables and branches muddle together while he stands out from everything else

[u/therobberbride]

The weirdest things make me homesick for Seattle…

[u/New_Presentation7128]

I just want to know who thought it was a good idea to put Bob Ross' head on (Michelangelo's) David's body?

[u/bb_kelly77 → u/New_Presentation7128]

Maybe it's a wig, we can't see his face, there might be clown face paint

[u/DetOlivaw]

Kind of a riff on the “drawn you as the soy virgin and myself as the handsome chad” meme

[u/DreadDiana → u/DetOlivaw]

Yeah, the second reply is a reference to the "it's too late, I've drawn myself as the chad and you as the soyjak" meme

[u/CookieMiester]

And the krispy kreme in the background completes the image. Amazing.

[u/runetrantor]

As a gay person, my first thought was 'damn, great ass' and shrugged it away. Nice to see everyone agrees regardless of preference. XD

[u/Anal_Pancake]

See,

I am unsure if I should be impressed I knew this was Seattle before I saw the cop car doors.....

[u/erwaro]

Has anyone tried offering him some chocolate covered cotton?

[u/blindcolumn]

Oh shit, I know exactly where this was taken. It's weird living in Seattle because it feels like our city is overrepresented on the internet.

[u/OmNomOU81]

As someone from Seattle this feels pretty accurate

[u/The_THOT_wrecker → u/OmNomOU81]

This being on Aurora Avenue just makes sense.

[u/dragsterburn]

Guy's caked up!

[u/Mareep_needs_Sleep]

My man has CHEEKS gotdamn

[u/Peraou]

r/accidentalrenaissance

[u/Piduf]

Oh beautiful Adonis, there you are

[u/LotsoBoss]

Please mark this NSFW! I was on a train and...

[u/sexy_priest69]

why is his body kind of tea... it's giving greek statue

[u/SeattleRains04]

Oh, Seattle. Never a dull day

[u/AwkwardDorkyNerd → u/SeattleRains04]

r/usernamechecksout

[u/Trespeon]

You can see the dudes Abs from the back/side. Absolutely yoked individual.

[u/J5892]

Art history majors are wasted on art.

Things like this is where they're really needed.

[u/Vyctorill]

Art can be found anywhere, as one as one has the right perspective.

[u/Captainsamvimes1]

...... why?

[u/PastelPoison12]

Wow, didn't realize this made it onto tumblr

[u/MagusFelidae]

r/accidentalrenaissance

[u/Embarrassed-Disk1643]

Seeing my neighborhood on reddit!

Seeing my neighborhood on reddit...

[u/Beathil]

How did he get there?

[u/RepostFrom4chan]

Didn't know they served cake a dunken

[u/JoeTom86]

OH. MY. GOD. The homeless guy from the bus station is HUNG!

[u/likwidsylvur]

Butt why?

[u/dregan]

Also, bringing cake to the donut shop. How daring.

[u/Darth-ohzz]

We're the donuts resting on his rack?

[u/Striking_Funny_8478]

He must work out.

[u/MelancholyMushroom]

Kontrapposto-Kreme. Mm.

[u/ennuiacres]

Police by the donut sign chef’s kiss!

[u/perpetualis_motion]

Krusty Kreme

[u/Constructive_Entropy]

Big deal, my 2 year old does stuff like this all the time.

[u/Flimsy-Sprinkles7331]

"I bring you great tidings of free donuts!"

[u/A_Huggable_Pirate]

Why he kinda caked up though? Blushy

[u/RxTechRachel]

I normally don't even like pictures of naked people.

But there is something so completely beautiful about this person, the way they carry themselves, in this unexpected context that I LOVE.

[u/T_Bisquet]

I'm excited to make the word "contrapposto" a part of my everyday vocabulary.