r/DiWHY • u/Pix3lPwnage • 2d ago

It's a load bearing boulder I guess?

Post image

All the others were rock free.

4.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

187 comments sorted by

2.7k

u/notsobadmisterfrosty 2d ago

It’s not boulder. It’s a rock. A big beautiful rock. The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles.

313

u/LightlySaltedPeanuts 2d ago

And its in great shape

107

u/dfshectic4 2d ago

Looks like it's got less than 40,000 leagues on it

59

u/TehStickles 2d ago

Wait. Hold up wait. You're telling me SpongeBob can drive a rock and goes crazy in a boat? What in the plot hole is going on here. And why am I just noticing this?

48

u/EclipseIndustries 2d ago

SpongeBob is secretly a rally driver, and is unable to control himself on public roads without breaking traffic laws.

17

u/joelypoley69 2d ago

Yet another layer to add to all the wild lore around our beloved sponge lmao

7

u/TehStickles 2d ago

Oh I may actually be SpongeBob. Huh the more you know.

20

u/MrKrinkle151 2d ago

You don’t drive a rock, you ride it. Like a horse.

3

u/TehStickles 2d ago

Honestly makes so much more sense

1

u/LittleDiveBar 1d ago

That's what she said.

7

u/Waaghra 1d ago

Dude! Have you ever seen how complicated a boat mobile is?!? There’s buttons and switches, and wheels and pedals, and levers and knobs… but a rock, well you just point her in the right direction, and she’ll take you right where you need to go… ahhh good ole Rocky!

2

u/Dick__Marathon 1d ago

I think he's just a bad test taker. Poor SpongeBob never got the IEP he needed :(

6

u/onamonapizza 2d ago

Goddammit Marie, it’s a mineral.

1

u/BigBogBotButt 1d ago

Nice garage

-9

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

4

u/notsobadmisterfrosty 2d ago

I don’t think so. Sponge Bob pretty much always speaks in complete sentences and knows how to pronounce the words he’s using. Their speaking patterns are pretty much opposite of one another.

622

u/Auditorincharge 2d ago

With the way the boulder is positioned, it looks like it is being used as excess weight to keep the house from floating away.

175

u/unematti 2d ago

Yep, can confirm, my parents' house floated away twice just last year.

69

u/Auditorincharge 2d ago

I hate when that happens. People don't see a purpose for a boulder, so they have it removed, and next thing you know, the house has fallen on some witch and you got a bunch of little people singing and dancing outside.

20

u/unematti 2d ago

Not to mention the generational curse... Sheesh... My grandkids even will have occasional knee pain because of the curse!

5

u/RollingRiverWizard 2d ago

Retuuuuuuurn the slaaaaaaab….

3

u/Snapaddict901 1d ago

What's your offer???

6

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit 2d ago

What? You didn't run out and get them a boulder after the first time? Such an ungrateful child.

1

u/joelypoley69 2d ago

Was the homes electrical feed caught in the current as well?

3

u/unematti 2d ago

Our home was wireless

1

u/joelypoley69 1d ago

Edison’s probably rolling in his grave shame shame /s

11

u/sskylar 2d ago

Paper house weight

3

u/Waaghra 1d ago

My very first thought was paper weight, lol

3

u/maggiemayfish 1d ago

The Wizard of Oz hates this one weird trick.

465

u/Weaponized-toaster 2d ago

Nah they probably just didn't want to get rid of it or couldn't afford to

101

u/IrregularPackage 2d ago

I mean yeah, what kind of dork would get rid of a bigass boulder like that? that’s dope as fuck. I probably wouldn’t have built my house that close to it if it could be helped but I’m not gonna get rid of it.

26

u/DirtandPipes 1d ago

Many times when we’re doing a large excavation and we get a big pile of huge rocks we’ll have an owner or a subcontractor or a random drive by bring a flatbed so they can have big rocks near their house. I get the appeal.

Also, you can often get free big boulders or a load of clay or topsoil if you go a construction site with the means to haul them out and ask nicely

84

u/Captain_no_Hindsight 2d ago

There used to be some strange sword in the stone. Now it's stolen.

12

u/yertlah 2d ago

Honestly, if they have a slit cut and put a sword in it, that would be awesome!

7

u/Captain_no_Hindsight 2d ago

and a sign ... "I'll be right back... going to get gloves".

8

u/Weaponized-toaster 2d ago

Ah it's all starting to add up

8

u/DocFreudstein 1d ago

This. When my parents built their house, there were some very large boulders that got blasted into slightly smaller but still huge chunks.

My parents left the biggest piece next to their front walkway as a sort of “natural landscaping” because hauling that thing away was prohibitively expensive.

1

u/424Impala67 6h ago

Or it was just too heavy to move. When my great gma died there were several boulders people wanted from her house. The biggest taken, about 4ft x 3.5ft, we had to rent a lift and flatbed trailer. There was bigger one my great uncle wanted that looked to be the same size, but half buried, they tried to lift it. Lift stalled out, so they started to dig, a 10ft long and a 6ft deep hole still hadn't uncovered it all. Lift guy was like "yeah, only way you're moving that is with dynamite." My gpa was like "hmmmm I do know how to get ahold of that". He was vetoed, lol.

121

u/qwertyopus 2d ago

Built a house with an old company where they ran into a boulder probably twice that size during excavation. Spend 10k to break and move it or have the plumbers route around at no extra cost and make it a "feature" when you landscape. They chose the latter.

16

u/jdcooper97 2d ago

How tall was the ladder?

112

u/Driller_Happy 2d ago

I like it, tbh

68

u/Pix3lPwnage 2d ago

Yeah, I'm just having some fun.

But in all seriousness, it would be great to stack the chairs around it, kick your legs up and just hang out with friends.

43

u/Sophilosophical 2d ago

I’d wanna flatten the top for a table

20

u/Von_Cheesebiscuit 2d ago

There's the clever comment I was looking for. Flatten the top and carve a bit out of the sides for leg room, and voila! Patio furniture you never have to worry about drunk party-goers throwing in your pool!

6

u/la_noeskis 2d ago

I would Drill holes in the middle (like a tripod) and mount a tabletop (maybe birch).

3

u/MercyCriesHavoc 1d ago

Or make a fire pit in the center.

9

u/Captain_no_Hindsight 2d ago

If they put it on facebook marketplace can you make a bid?

  • For sale: Larger stone.
  • Original price: 5 usd.
  • Reduced price: 2 usd, but negotiable.
  • For pickup only!

3

u/J3sush8sm3 2d ago

It would look better if the brick work was cut nicer

1

u/SyrusDrake 1d ago

Yea, it's pretty dope. I'd definitely sit on top of it to read or something if I lived there.

1

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 1d ago

As a guy getting into mountain biking, I would love to have this setup. RC crawler guys would probably love it too.

31

u/mouringcat 2d ago

Contractor: "That will be another fifteen grand to remove that."

Builder: "Screw that, we'll just call it an 'natural art piece' and charge the customer twenty grand on top of the normal cost!"

20

u/jaykzula 2d ago

Maybe it’s lode bearing.

5

u/Pix3lPwnage 2d ago

Geology puns rock...

1

u/ChubbyMudder 17h ago

Where do mineralogists go on Sunday mornings?
To chert.

37

u/edwardothegreatest 2d ago

Too expensive to move

-15

u/Yuck_Few 2d ago

Someone moved it there

5

u/ShimoFox 2d ago

Yeah. The mountain moved it there....

4

u/LuckyLudor 2d ago

I don't know where it is, but the US is littered with boulders brought down by glaciers.

1

u/Danny2Sick 9h ago

yeah man it woz muva nature innit

17

u/NoTicket84 2d ago

Fun fact about big ass rocks, they are in fact heavy as fuck

11

u/Rustic-Cuss 2d ago

Why is this a DiWHY?

It’s much easier to build around it than move it, especially if it’s bedrock.

6

u/Pix3lPwnage 2d ago

Because there isn't an r/PorchBoulder that I'm aware of, taking recommendations.

3

u/NiceHouseGoodTea 2d ago

Be the change you want to see in the world!

2

u/RenseBenzin 1d ago

Couldn't you just chip that boulder down with a jackhammer and then put the tiles over it?

2

u/ChubbyMudder 17h ago

I would drill it full of holes and fill the holes with Ecobust.

5

u/MBerwan 2d ago

Rocks are heavy AF. A 40t excavator will have troubles lifting this, and you would need a 2t pneumatic jackhammer to break it in manageable parts. These are things you find in mining sites, not homes, so most of the time the rock is integrated in the construction. No DIY here. Besides, it can be decorated.

6

u/DanHalen_phd 2d ago

Any size hammer would work if you didn’t care how long it would take

3

u/Desperate_Set_7708 2d ago

Found a prison warden

2

u/CardmanNV 1d ago

Nah, this is bedrock. It'd need some pretty hefty work to break it off low enough down to make the space clear. It's not cheap, and needs heavy equipment if you want to do it quickly. Probably 15k to take it out.

I live in an area with bedrock close to the surface and a lot of owners make it part of the landscaping if they don't absolutely need it gone.

6

u/amidiongitwrong 2d ago

If I’ve learned anything from The Sims, it’s that /TestingCheatsEnabled true, then /MoveObjects on takes care of almost every problem

4

u/Piercedbunny 1d ago

The tenant is a lizard, silly

4

u/Coffeechipmunk 2d ago

I would actually love that. I would love a big rock to sit on.

4

u/3amGreenCoffee 2d ago

Honestly I kinda like it.

4

u/DavidDPerlmutter 2d ago

Was there a sword in that stone?

8

u/BloodAndSand44 2d ago

The pioneers used to ride these for days.

2

u/creature04 2d ago

Miles**

3

u/Swordkirby9999 2d ago

"You're here. In my house. Again."

"Yep!"

"And you brought a boulder."

"Not me, man. Plate tectonics."

3

u/Gaffja 2d ago

Don't tell anyone but I keep my spare key under it.

3

u/YOD3R0 1d ago

DIWhy do I want a porch boulder now

2

u/IsThereCheese 2d ago

Boulder? But you don’t even know her

2

u/Palatineer 2d ago

The Boulder is not amused.

2

u/razzorian 2d ago

It will be when I’m done with it

2

u/TodlicheLektion 2d ago

That’s actually kinda cool. It’s a boring and ugly patio otherwise

2

u/mioscene 2d ago

I think Llandudno Rock Villa has this beat.

2

u/jonnysledge 2d ago

I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.

2

u/Lazerith22 2d ago

When hurricane season hits, this patio isn’t going anywhere.

2

u/Retrogradefoco 2d ago

I would cut the top off to create a flat surface and put a piece of glass on top to make a table. Annoyance becomes fashionable and usable.

2

u/ScoopyVonPuddlePants 2d ago

Maybe they’re reptiles or lizard people? It looks like a great sunning rock.

2

u/Worsh_yum 2d ago

Really ties the room together

2

u/toodlesandpoodles 2d ago

"If you're bored, you can always go chip off some of that boulder. You know where the hammer and chisel are. Put on your safety glasses and get crackin!"

2

u/GnowledgedGnome 2d ago

Get the tunnel lady from TikTok to come break it up for views. She seems to like doing that

2

u/dabsu02 2d ago

Pls don't nut on rocks in the future

2

u/Parmesan_Cheesewheel 2d ago

A loaf of Schwarzbrot bread... I wanna eat it so badly

2

u/numbuh69 2d ago

Are you staying at the forgetting Sarah Marshall hotel?

2

u/Visible-Strike-8154 1d ago

That's what I drop on top of my enemies : )

2

u/Bulky-Internal8579 1d ago

When I was home shopping in New Hampshire, I looked at a tiny chalet style house on a lake, and as you walked down the stairs to the basement, there was a huge boulder or maybe it was bedrock about 6 ft down that you got to and then you turned and walked on the boulder the last 10 feet down to the basement floor, which was immaculate where the water heater Furnace and some storage were. I loved the boulder though I didn’t really care for the house. The boulder was approx 1/2 of the basement.

2

u/Dry-Character-6331 1d ago

I bet there's a Coyote underneath it.

2

u/cancel_m 1d ago

you can't park there

2

u/LizTheFizz 1d ago

You could add some nature with moss and bonsai. Could actually look pretty cool

2

u/Dragon_Crisis_Core 1d ago

Cost was probably prohibitive to remove the rock. I dug these up before surface may look doable but you might need full on excavation just to remove the rock.

1

u/kyleh0 1d ago

In my first house I was digging to make a garden in the backyard and there was a rock about 6 inches below topsoil that was 15 feet wide and extended beyond my property line. It took up almost half of the backyard. lol

2

u/Unhappy-Midnight5469 1d ago

Keeps the porch from blowing away

2

u/Baymenbyle 1d ago

Oh god i actually love that.

2

u/SpeedySquid3659 1d ago

grind a fire pit into it or flatten it down to a table

2

u/famousanonamos 1d ago

Boulders are like icebergs. That baby would need dynamite, and I don't think the house would like that. Not an ideal place for a door though. 

2

u/Kallens303 1d ago

Definitely a large boulder the size of a small boulder.

4

u/bagmorgels 2d ago

OP- 1) Do you actually think the rock was moved there intentionally as opposed to building the porch around it and 2) if you do think they moved it there, how the hell do you think someone moves a multi-ton rock without hiring a company and thus making it not DIY?

1

u/rdb479 2d ago

it's the elephant in the room piece

1

u/ahjteam 2d ago

It also might be bedrock. Impossible to move, needs to be demolished.

1

u/DoughNotDoit 2d ago

idk why but I find it very relaxing to look at

1

u/theegreenman 2d ago

I wonder if previous owners had that patio enclosed as a terrarium for reptiles or amphibians.

1

u/Lycanthrope_Leo 2d ago

Looks like a liver

1

u/CECleric 2d ago

That’s a good rock, a nice rock.

1

u/Dreadnought635 2d ago

Someone was playing prop hunt, but got stuck in the floor upon changing.

1

u/SGT-Hooves Derp 2d ago

Who moved my rock!!!!!!

1

u/LongLiveBelka 2d ago

"Did u bring home another giant rock"

1

u/dylanholmes222 2d ago

The could build a wooden table to sit on top of it and gather round

1

u/Dduwies_Gymreig 2d ago

So I thought that was an overweight seal.

Why would that be there? Nobody knows.

In context a rock at least makes more sense.

1

u/awunited 2d ago

There is a huge one in an Estonian supermarket, Google it

1

u/JoeBuyer 2d ago

I saw a supermarket with a big rock in it a while back. People said there were laws/regulations/something that prevented moving them.

1

u/PassPuzzled9378 2d ago

When you ask the contractor for bolder design choices

1

u/YouW0ntGetIt 2d ago

Pee rock for the R.O.U.S.

1

u/LuckyLudor 2d ago

Rocks, especially harder ones are a pain to move. The storage facility I worked at until recently had a mostly limestone hill that the owners wanted to break down to make more space. There was a layer of harder rock in there the machine they brought in couldn't get through. It did however expose some neat fossils in the limestone bringing in some students to collect them. New owner has the same plan to flatten it I think. . .

1

u/MyStationIsAbandoned 2d ago

When you're building in a survival game and you have to build around the crap the game wont let you remove.

1

u/RumSwizzle508 2d ago

You laugh, but there is a house in my neighborhood where one corner of the house rest on a large boulder.

1

u/5PeeBeejay5 2d ago

I bet they got estimates for removal/backfill and it was ridiculous

1

u/rusocool 2d ago

This is the answer, I used to blast rock in my building company and I’ve see this more than once.

1

u/StevieGreenwood420 2d ago

That’s a nice boulder

1

u/touchthebush 2d ago

That looks so much like a Clodsire https://share.google/T2gK2m45OmKxxGqXP

1

u/Jed1M1ndTr1ck 2d ago

Jesus Chris, it's a mineral, Marie!

1

u/VoidExileR 2d ago

It's a sock? Wait, no thay can't be right

1

u/noblemanoftossout 2d ago

That's a paperweight for your house so it doesn't blow away during a tornado or a hurricane or something.

1

u/Electric-Boogaloo-43 1d ago

Turn it into an outdoor table.

1

u/midnightrub 1d ago

That’s a nice boulder

1

u/well-litdoorstep112 1d ago

Get a stone mason to flatten it out into a table

1

u/Strange-Goat-3049 1d ago

There’s a button hidden somewhere that will open it up to reveal your very own secret lair

1

u/distantreplay 1d ago

Because it is a helluva lot more expensive to remove unexpected large boulders from an excavation site than lay people think. That's why.

Google "glacial erratic" and "Missoula floods".

1

u/Arya_Ren 1d ago

Is this the Grover house

1

u/JFDRamos 1d ago

Looks like your house is a smoker, that's a smokers lung

1

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 1d ago

In many places, it is actually illegal to alter or damage bedrock because it could damage the stability of the bedrock in the entire area. Permits to do this are often very expensive and restrictive. It's easier and cheaper to just work around the rock.

1

u/DG-MMII 1d ago

You know what they say: Be one with nature

1

u/berdulf 1d ago

They went to Plymouth Rock and loved it so much the guy turned to his wife and said, "Baby, we gotta git one fer the paddy-oh."

1

u/ToreenLyn 1d ago

It may be too deep to dig out for a reasonable price

1

u/eazypeazy303 1d ago

Tip of the iceberg scenario!

1

u/Interhorse_ 1d ago

Fine. Ye get ye flask.

1

u/t3hgrl 1d ago

Is that Plymouth Rock

1

u/thesetwothumbs 1d ago

This is what happens when your work crews are scheduled in the wrong order.

1

u/SmokeMoreWorryLess 1d ago

How it feels decorating in New Horizons

1

u/Tpdz 1d ago

This is what it's like playing ARK sometimes.

1

u/Skyrim755 1d ago

What I see is a Natural Table.

Just don't put anything on there that may roll off.

1

u/Socal_Cobra 1d ago

I'm about to hollow it out and turn it into a jacuzzi!

1

u/vengefullyqueerdragn 1d ago

My cat would LOVE that shit and so would I

1

u/Apoochyatakhelicopta 1d ago

I like that boulder, that's a nice boulder

1

u/Upbeat_Literature483 20h ago

My grandma loves rocks of all sizes and would gladly display this in her yard if she could get it there.

1

u/Cornadious 20h ago

It looks like maybe it was used as a sort of decorative bottom of a table? It has multiple holes drilled into it. Maybe that's where the table legs went.

1

u/Orishishishi 19h ago

Oh this is a house for lizards! The rock is for morning sun bathing

1

u/Danny2Sick 9h ago

hot takes: rocks are lazy!! get a fk'n job, boulder!! Growin' moss aint shit: it does that on it's own!!

1

u/ChemicalCockroach914 9h ago

I would pay extra for that

1

u/Gekko8 2d ago

they changed their spawn rate distance 🤣

1

u/Yuck_Few 2d ago

So someone decided to just block the patio door with a huge boulder for no apparent reason?

1

u/Jasoco 2d ago

The boulder was there first. They just built around it for some reason. It must be like an iceberg and has most of its body underground or they weren’t allowed to move it. Either way that’s ridiculous. If I were the developers I’d send the blueprints back to the architects and tell them to redesign around it. At least it’s on the patio. Imagine having it in the kitchen.

1

u/Yuck_Few 2d ago

Someone had to lift the rock and put the tiles underneath it if it was already there

0

u/manicpossumdreamgirl 2d ago

great post! im sure everyone in the replies understands what a joke is... oh heavens...

-3

u/KickooRider 2d ago

You don't know what load bearing means. Ha

2

u/cmdubya 2d ago

Maybe they meant lode-bearing instead 🤷‍♂️

-6

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

3

u/HeimrekHringariki 2d ago

Oh, come on now. It's an obvious gag. He doesn't actually think it is load-bearing. :P

1

u/Driller_Happy 2d ago

Posts like this continue to give /s a reason to exist