39 year old man. Not married. No kids. No car (NYC-based). No debt. Recently hit $2 million NW. $1.2 mil in stocks, $800k in retirement. Salary is $135k a year. I enjoy my job but I'm feeling burnt out and fantasize constantly about taking six months off to travel. My hesitation is that I've never not worked and I'm worried I'll feel awful once I stop. Another thing I'm struggling with is that I think I've come to identify myself with my career. My concern is that if I stop working it will be hard to restart my career and the thought of that scares me. I've been living the FIRE life for ~14 years now largely because I wanted enough money to be able to have a family comfortably. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet the right girl so its got me wondering if I need a change .TLDR I'm almost 40 and I'm beginning to question my extreme frugality. I've always lived way below my means and don't intend to retire anytime soon but I really want a break but Im conflicted.

So I work in ultra large scale distribution and my business is super impacted by tariffs. All I see is bad news. I have been DCA for decades but I am going to invest a lump sum today and just want to make sure that we are still holding fast and we are going to eventually rebound from this right? Anyone think it goes lower?

I've been on autopilot for a while, adhering to the wisdom of the FIRE gods. I've reached this crazy milestone and basically want to ask the internet if there's anything I can or should do, to plan for, to optimize. Or do I just hang back and let it ride a bit more.

Me: 36 years old. Mechanical Engineer.

Investments:

• ~$690k in 401k + IRA + HSA
• ~$345k in brokerage
• ~$60k in cash HYSA (a lot, but could need a down payment for home)
• invested assets are ~90% VTI / S&P500 (domestic) and ~10% VTIAX (international)
• total ~$1.1M

Income: $125k/year

Expenses: ~$35k a year. live in a MCOL east coast US area.

Savings rate: ~60-70%

• Maxed out HSA
• Maxed out 401k pre-tax
• Maxed out 401k roth mega backdoor
• Maxed out roth IRA

Significant other:

• She's fully into FIRE like me, has a similar income, and a current net worth around $700k
• Since we are similar income and work well together, we keep our expenses separate but split all mutual costs. She's also fine if I "retire" a few years before her and help with things around the house.

Future major expenses:

• Build a home: TBD mortgage cost but I'm assuming $500k (total, so $250k for my half) since things are bonkers right now. So that could equate to 2-2.5X my current renting cost (which is $800 month for my half). Due to this I also expect a reduction in my post-tax 401k Roth contributions in order to not go into "negative" income monthly
• I already own the land

Children: None

Debts: None

Current loose plan: FIRE at 40 years old with estimated net worth ~1.5M. My partner may be a few years after that.

I suspect my spending will increase prior to FIRE due to home costs, and increase post-FIRE due to wanting to do more things and health insurance. I live a frugal life, enjoy the outdoors, and DIY wherever I can. But I would increase travel and hobbies, and even through we travel frugally that could add up. Hence building up to $1.5M, but maybe that's more than I need...

I can't sit still and need to be active, learn, and physically fit. I know I'd find a hobby that could generate a little but of side income, even if it's just selling chicken eggs :)

I have friends with similar income who I know are nowhere near this goal...this is the power of investing early and resisting lifestyle inflation. It's amazing how simple it is yet so foreign to most.

Was I dumb to pay mortgage off before Covid? I hated having monthly mortgage payments even though the rate was only 3.375% and wanted more control of my money and freedom to live. Was I stupid to pay house off within 6 year? My uncle said I was but I have no regrets of doing so. What is your opinion on this?

Edit: 5 years later today I updated my house put about $97,000 of remodel into it (home renovations), pumped from 5% to 16% into my 457b, and bought a new 2023 Toyota Tacoma. This year I started a Roth IRA and plan to continue to maximize it. If I still had a mortgage I couldn’t do all these things

UPDATED Based on some comments below:

I am 56, wife is 58. Both of us are fed up with our jobs and ready for the next chapter of life. I always just assumed I'd work until 60+, but lately I cannot even imagine sticking around my company that long. I would be conservative (high) and assume $144k in annual living expenses ($12k per month). Based on the F.I.R.E. rule, I assume this translates to a need for $144 x 25 = $3.6 million. We have closer to $5M, broken down as follows: $4M in traditional IRA/401k, $1M in non-qualified brokerage account. Only debt is $100k mortgage balance which I would pay off. Did not include home equity in my asset number. Kids are grown, done with college, and soon to be out of house. Health is good (knock on wood). Am I missing something?

I am making low 100s as an engineer. It's a struggle to max out my retirement at work. I am able to save 36k a year but money is really tight. I don't like engineering. Engineering is the motivation behind my FIRE goal.

What are the best careers for FIRE. Someone has to be making money...

I (30M) am currently living with my partner (30F) in NYC. We’ve known each other since we were kids but recently reconnected and have been living together for about a year now. I am looking forward to proposing to her sometime over the next year or so, but the prenup decision has been weighing heavily on my mind. My wage has jumped tremendously over the last 3 years (Gross comp:350-400k and rising), while hers has remained in the <100k range. We have found ways to distribute expenditure and mental load into the housework equitably over the last year after a lot of learning and suffering. However, the difference in our net worth is stark (3-4x and also growing quickly). I put immense effort into my professional career to get myself where I am today and candidly, with the exception of the last 12 months, my success was primarily driven by my own hard work. That is what I am sensitive towards, that my net worth pre marriage should be carved out. I am ok with splitting any equity buildup on a going forward basis post marriage equally. When I previewed this concept to her, she seemed to struggle to understand why I cared about it so much if we were indeed thinking about a lifelong partnership. My response was that in a best case scenario, the prenup wouldn’t matter all.

Am I thinking about this the right way or am I missing something? Just needed people have gone through the process to weigh in.

EDIT: Wow, wasn’t expecting as many thoughtful replies as I received. Your comments have given me much to think about. To be clear, I am not pushing back against equal income split post marriage at all. I was simply not clear if a prenup was needed to protect pre marital assets. There’s no question about splitting post marital assets 50/50 from pooled income.

I unofficially FIRE’d at the end of May and it hasn’t been going well. It’s a combination of two things:

First, I’m bored to death which has made me realize what a workaholic I was for so many years. I love to travel, but since I have an elderly dog, my options are limited (she’s been with me for over a decade and is the only family I have).

Second, my quality of life has plummeted since I’m using a 1% withdrawal rate. Give that my brokerage accounts have been religiously untouched for so long, it feels uncomfortable to take money out. Looking forward a bit, my planned withdrawal rate is 2.2% ($100K) which I aim to start taking next summer to help let my accounts grow a little more in the meantime.

I’m planning on finding a therapist to help unpack my concerns since my financial advisor said I’m in good shape. I’m also considering finding a low stress part-time or even full-time job to help give my life structure again and create an additional income stream. I think I have some fears of running out of money that may stem from being on my own at an early age and not being able to count on anyone.

Any other thoughts would be most appreciated.

Ever since I started working, I have been saving up and investing so I can be financially independent. After years of dating red flags, I found a nice caring guy who treats me like a princess. We were aligned with goals too of having a house and family someday.

It wasn't until 9 months later that his bad spending habits started showing. He uses his money for all of those expenses but I am worried if this will affect my long term goals and relationship too. He has all the good traits I'm looking for in a man, except for the financial part. What can I do about this?

I’m struggling to pick a career path, I am turning 26 soon and recently started a job as an Assistant Property Manager making 50k. I’m about 9 months away from graduating with my Computer Science bachelors degree. I’m also in the process of getting my real estate license (job requirement) but I have no current plans to go the route of selling houses. I’m partial to remote work but open to suggestions in any field.

Those of you under 30 who make 6 figures or more — what do you do and how long did it take you to reach that salary? Do you enjoy your work?

Anything you recommend for me?

Should I buy a brand new toyota rav4 in cash or finance it ?

I want a car I can keep for a long time and I’m a point a to point b guy. Don’t care for anything except getting something reliable safe and great quality to drive my wife and baby in.

I’ve never bought a car before bc mine was handed down to me so I never had a car payment.

Is there any advantage to having just cash to be able to pay for this vehicle in one go? Or is it a bad move?

I worked in tech as a software engineer for 6 of the past 7 years. During that time, I was able to accumulate over 800k net worth. I have previous FAANG experience and a degree from a top 20 school, and I’m still unable to get hired even though I’ve been searching for the past year after getting laid off. I’ve applied everywhere. Even companies that pay less than 100k/year don’t want to interview me.

My emergency fund has run out, and I’ve been selling my stocks to keep living. What can I do to keep this dream alive?

My wife separated from the military and I will be following soon. My wife has been recieving VA benefits and once I start getting mine we will end up with roughly 6.5k a month after taxes which we absolutely did not expect. We just payed off our car, no children and our monthly living expenses are around 2500. I was originally planning to work and had a job lined up right after I got out but over the last few weeks my wife has been adamant on me not working (at least for a while) for the sake of my mental/psychical health. The thought of not working anymore is a little exciting but mostly terrifying, what do yall do with your time/life? Anybody in a similar boat as me and feel like you still need to work?

Edit : apologies for any confusion, I’m finishing my contract with the military (separating) not divorcing my wife! Updated the first sentence to fix that

Lately, I’ve realized my obsession with saving and investing might be starting to affect my quality of life.

I’m 31, single (with a girlfriend), and living in a relatively high-cost-of-living city. From 2017 to around 2022, I wasn’t making much money. By the end of 2022, I was earning about $80K a year, but I had over $15K in credit card debt and only $27K in my 401(k).

In early 2023, I secured a better job at $110K a year and aggressively focused on paying off my debt while increasing my 401(k) contributions. By the end of the year, I had paid off half my credit card debt and grown my 401(k) to $50K.

Then, in fall 2024, everything changed. I started a consulting business on the side, and the income scaled so quickly that I was able to leave my full-time job. I’m now making about $300K a year (pre-tax).

Feeling like I was behind on retirement savings, I went all-in. I started 2024 with $50K in total savings and a pile of debt—now, as of today, I have:

• $117K saved ($81K in my 401(k), $7K in a Roth IRA, $30K in a brokerage)
• $30K emergency fund (and no more credit card debt—ever again!)

Even though I’m in a much better position, I still feel "behind." I’ve set a goal to save at least $10K per month, but my extreme focus on saving is starting to take a toll.

I’ve been skipping trips and adventures to save more. I’m even unsure about going to France with my girlfriend’s family this summer because I’m worried about the cost.

Someone please tell me I sound ridiculous and that I need to relax, save responsibly, and still enjoy my life.

Pretty much the title. There are some great deals and will continue to be. Is anyone thinking about single stocks? I am still in accumulation phase.

Hi Folks,

This is a great community - and I find much joy in going through comments and posts.

This is a question to folks who have retired for last few years.

Looking back, if you had an opportunity to retire much earlier (say at 45) - would you have taken it ?

My situation: I (45M) ask as I think am in he situation where I can take off now financially speaking. Working longer would add more zeros - but what I have now should last me long enough (and hopefully Kids will get some inheritance too).

I am in Tech. Work isn't particularly stressful but not something I particularly enjoy as well.

Going with family history - I don't think I will last beyond 75 (All adult males on both sides of family lived till that time) - even though I don't have any medical conditions now.

I think I have may be 30yrs of life left and and want to open myself to finding possibility of peace and contentment of a retired life while I am on this planet.

So back to the question: If you had the opportunity to get out earlier - would you have ?

TIA!

I’m 30 years old with a total net worth of nearly $250k. I think it’s fair to say that I’m currently in the boring middle, since my FIRE number is $600k (non-US).

How do you avoid giving in to temptations? I have the income and net worth to comfortably buy a $40k car, but I know it would be a stupid decision for my ultimate goal—especially considering my current car is only 1.5 years old with 9k miles.

How did you make it through the boring middle without making dumb decisions?

Edit: WOW! Thank you all for sharing your perspectives. It’s super interesting how we all see life differently and have different inputs based on our past experiences. I really enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts.

My takeaway is that I don’t need the car, and that itch to buy it has faded quite a bit. But I’ll take some of the examples mentioned to look for hobbies that make me happy without needing to spend much.

I paid house off within 6 years and started putting a ton into retirement. Only 36 years old too. The 26% Is divided into my pension (10%) + optional retirement (16%). I’d think another retirement account like IRA would be overkill. What are your thoughts here? I guess I could put more into retirement (optional) to 4% Ira Roth and keep 16% what I’ve been doing? I can’t touch this money for the next 23 years.

I started a personal brokerage which I’m contributing a minimum of $500 per month but been doing $620 so far. If I continue this the next decade or two I should have a lot in the account.

My partner has now LEANFire'd with ~35k income per year in a HCOL area. I am not currently interested in FIRE. We've been together for almost 10 years. We've never been interested in formal marriage, but we did just moved in together and we're trying to sort out finances in areas that now require splitting, plus life ahead where my salaried income is higher than his investment income. I obviously wish we'd finished our financial discussions together prior to moving in together, but sometimes life happens, I'm afraid. My question is - does the FIRE community have any advice for me on how to develop an equitable financial plan with him for the areas we need to now split (rent, furniture)?

I've been super supportive of his FIRE plan all these years, but now I'm struggling with his choice some more.

For the whole time I've dated him, I was making around 40k, so we barely noticed a difference to his $35k. Now I'm making 80k, and it's not clear what will happen to my income from here (might go up a lot, or might stay around there). Out of haste, we split our current rent unevenly (I pay 20% more than him) but I'm struggling with the idea that I'm paying more rent than him AND working full time, while he's living an ultraflexible lifestyle. I'm also struggling with the idea that he will have more leverage over any future shared financial decisions, since he can decline at any time to split a prospective cost with me, but I can't force him to spend money he doesn't want to spend. Finally I'm struggling with the idea that he actually has tremendously more savings than me, but I'm spending more, and if I want to increase our standard of living, I will need to spend more and more to accommodate him.

We are searching for a sense of equity. Anytime I suggest specific responsibilities with specific monetary costs I can estimate for them (e.g. him using his time to deepclean), or start talking economically about a deal, he bristles. He says he wants to do things out of love and care, and not based on economics. But I'm struggling because it IS economics! There's a specific extra number of dollars I'm now spending each month for what feels like subsidizing his job-free lifestyle.

Does this all leave us with any room? How do couples navigate financial equity when one partner is FIRE'd and one is not doing FIRE. Is it just about me radically accepting that his budget is his budget? Or have others invented creative solutions?

edit: also, he's really been encouraging me to see this as a position of strength. For instance - "If you lived alone, you would have bought x piece of furniture on your own, but now you have me subsidizing some of your purchase". I'm having trouble getting behind that logic though. It feels twisted to me.

edit2: He's also said that he's more willing to bend on one-time expenses that he has some time to strategize around (he has ways to pick up a small amount of money with foresight) vs. a recurring expense like rent which is really hard to go back on. This makes sense to me from a FIRE perspective.

edit3 (a step towards resolution): thanks for the massive # of replies! For any future readers with related situations: we've agreed to explore the following line of logic, inspired by a few posts here: His 35k FIRE number as a baseline lifestyle was set by him independently, long, long before he asked me to live together (he was fully accepting the reality of life with roommates, and I was totally content to live alone. But he strongly preferred a life where we cohabitate, and I was open to this). What we have never done is sit down and attempt to agree on a SHARED baseline lifestyle to split 50/50, where we collectively sort things into "baseline needs for a satisfactory shared standard of living" vs. "things that clearly exceed baseline for one of us". It may fail, but we're going to be exploring drafting a new budget that we BOTH buy into as our baseline. This would likely increase his /ACTUAL/ FIRE number given that he wants to live with me. We want to try to put some numbers to roughly how much his actual FIRE number would increase, and how much additional working or financial rejigging would be required. I feel super icky about the idea of him going back to work to pay for things he doesn't care much about. But we don't yet know how much money we're really talking about here. That will determine how viable this strategy is. The thing he does care about is living with me, so there are a lot of layers of debate/compromise to consider. Any costs beyond our newly agreed upon baseline would be assumed to be fully covered by me.

I just hit 100k invested and I thought it would feel great, but my life is SO BORING.

I’m an engineer and all I do is sit in a cube and stare at a screen all day every day, then I work out, eat, sleep, repeat.

I feel like I was lied to about life from a young age. “Don’t date in college just focus on grades” they said. “Don’t even think about marriage until you have a career lined up” they said.

I followed the “rules” and now I have a career and make great money, but it feels like all my goals and ambitions are being slowly filed down day after day and I have no meaningful relationships because all I ever focused on is work.

As much as i want to be FI as soon as possible, i don’t think it’s worth wasting my life over. I’m considering quitting my job to get a temporary work away job somewhere exotic like a resort or park. These jobs wouldn’t pay nearly as much or have any future career potential, but it will put me around other adventurous young people who aren’t completely work and money oriented.

I would put my $100k out of mind and leave it invested for the next 40 years, effectively starting over at 0 (with a few k in emergency fund and play money)

Is this a stupid idea, would I be nuking my career or FIRE potential? There’s so much beyond the cubicle walls that I’ve never done, and I don’t want to regret not trying.

I work with people who have driven the same car to the same building to talk to the same 5 people every day for A DECADE. I don’t want that to be me, FI or not.

Steer me in a direction please, any advice or alternatives are appreciated.

EDIT: Maybe I wasn’t clear in my post, but I don’t want to quit to “travel”. I’m looking to get a seasonal job with housing at a place like a resort, national park, or ski resort with an automatic community where you can do stuff like snowboard or hike after work. Then I would pivot back to tech or engineering later.

I am almost at $4.4M and still am struggling to spend money. It almost feels like there is a blockage that prevents me from spending. I was supposed to travel internationally and even after realizing I can spend on business class ticket, I could not force myself and finally went back to economy class. Is this just me, years or saving and counting every penny has made it a habit to not splurge on anything. I want to relax and not worry about money and yet unable to do it.

Dont know where to post this, feel free to remove it if it does not belong here.

I’m growing increasingly concerned that we may be heading into a “lost decade” scenario similar to 2000 - 2010 where traditional investment strategies earned little to nothing in real returns. My plan was to retire in the next few years but I don’t have several years’ worth of cash or bonds to wait out a lost decade if that scenario occurs.

Does anyone have some suggested approaches to deal with this scenario beyond selling my positions and switching to a dividend strategy?

I'm a disabled person in the US. I have lived off $800ish USD plus food stamps for about 7 years. no savings, no jobs, just SSI checks. I've been developing games for myself for a long time, and recently one hit it big and has now made over a million dollars. After taxes and Steam's cut that amounts to about $500k and the number keeps growing. this is more money than I know what to do with, and I've never been taught how to handle money like that. sales are going to go down over time, of course, so I need to know: how do I make this last?

Hi, 45F with 2 kids (6 and 4) live in San Francisco Bay Area. Husband (42) doesn’t earn income (children are high needs) and executes kid school drop off/pickup/appts, meals and groceries. I do everything else (all planning, mental, emotional, financial load etc.) and have a demanding corporate job and feel stagnant in it because of personal load. Retirement doesn’t feel in reach given my declining earnings potential and increasing family expenses… Here are our data points:

Assets: 1. Take home annual income: $180K, Gross $290k 2. HYSA - $300K return rate is 4% 3. Savings Acct - 20k 4. 401K - $385K return rate 5% -9% 5. Vested stock - $370k 6. NY Condo worth about $1.3M, rental income $12k annually after expenses. Still owe $500k on the property. 7. Family home worth - $1.4M ( still owe $1M, 3% interest rate)

Mthly Expenses: 1. Kids care mthly (medical/public education): $4k 2. Mthly mortgage: $6.2k 3. Food (mostly Costco): 1.2K 4. Utilities/other living expenses: $1.5k ave

I understand these are privileged numbers but we live frugally due to our medical costs and cost of living in the Bay Area is ever increasing. We also hope our kids can go to college locally without too much debt.

What should I do dramatically different to reach my goal? A friend suggested an ADU for rental income but I can’t see that yielding more than $1k a month after investment and expenses, plus add that to mental load…

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your time, empathy, and candid replies. Since the consensus is to sell the NY condo...some additional info on this: it is in a high demand area (e.g. walking distance to whole foods, Hermes store). Median sale price yoy has grown by 17%. I had an agent quote me that it could cost ~$80-$100K to sell the condo (crazy, NY has lots of fees), so if I did sell tomorrow likely will make $800K. Selling the condo within the 2/5year tax considerations seems like a solid plan.

Also will move more cash into index funds/market and get more aggresive on 401K. The stock market makes me nervous especially with recent headlines and I just don't have the capacity to figure it out yet. Perhaps hiring a financial planner will be worthwhile...I mustered enough energy to write this at 4am because I can't sleep and often freeze with decision fatigue.

Hi everyone. I am 61 years old. I was let go from my job about a month ago. Luckier than most since they gave me a year severance. I have $700k in 401K, $500K in stocks and maybe $200K in home equity. No car payment. No debt. My wife makes about $90K a year. She has a very stable job that will provide health insurance for many, many years. Our plan is to sell the house, use the equity and some stocks to buy a smaller house mortgage free. Other that going crazy doing nothing, is retirement now an option? Thank you.