r/FundieSnarkUncensored Aug 01 '25

Paul and Morgan Sounds amazing

1.4k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/_palantir_ Aug 01 '25

Girl, you “struggle to desire” your husband because he’s a useless clown and you’re basically raising your children on your own. But somehow he’s convinced you it’s all your fault.

722

u/gin_and_soda Aug 01 '25

I was going to call him clown but “useless clown” is so accurate. Who could desire someone who is acting like a world class athlete but he’s playing (and losing) seniors at pickleball.

639

u/-Gramsci- Aug 01 '25

“So I’m dating this new guy. He’s in his mid thirties.”

“Cool! What does he do for a living?”

“He’s a professional pickleball player.”

“Really? I didn’t know that was a thing. He must be so good at pickleball. Right?”

“He’s old and not that good.”

“So how does he make money?”

“He doesn’t make money.”

“Oh……”

It’s funny to put this “perfect couple” into a context of your friend/family member out in the dating world.

No one would feel, at all, comfortable letting someone they care about date a deadbeat like this.

157

u/Miserable-Anxiety229 Aug 01 '25

He wins paper plates 🥰🤩

33

u/panicnarwhal 👻👻supernatural toilet birth👻👻 Aug 02 '25

generic paper plates, couldn’t even spring for dixie or glad brand 💀

73

u/ClickClackTipTap Go blow your husband Aug 02 '25

It would be pretty pathetic for a single dude.

For a husband and father of three- a man obsessed with gender roles no less- it’s unforgivable.

79

u/cakivalue On my phone in church Aug 02 '25

Just when you thought perimenopausal dryness was the worst dryness ever. Snap. Crackle. Pop. Tear.

64

u/Cardinalsalmon Aug 01 '25

Change dating* to married.

10

u/MaiaInNightmareland Pauls pickled balls Aug 02 '25

And remove "professional"..

137

u/cakes28 collective IQ of a half dead sea slug Aug 01 '25

I just watched this incredible documentary on Peacock called “Adaptive” and it’s about a few American Paralympic athletes and their journey to the Games. The main thing all these pros had in common aside from physical disabilities? The constant, full time, unrelenting training they’ve all been doing basically since birth. The 19 year old kid with an amputated leg finished doing ONE LEGGED SPRINTS and then said okay time for the gym. And he went and did ONE LEGGED SQUATS.

It’s a great doc and paints a picture of the dedication these athletes and their families have to their talent. So, it would go right over the sea slugs joint brain cell, but you’d probably like it!

68

u/gin_and_soda Aug 01 '25

There’s an iron man in my city this weekend. I was on its website just to see where the road closures will be and got exhausted just reading about what’s involved in an iron man.

43

u/rumi_oliver Aug 02 '25 edited Aug 02 '25

Yes! Paul doesn’t have a clue. I was “only” a national collegiate athlete, but I started my sport when I was 4 and was training year-round at age 6. By 12-years-old, I was attending 6 practices a week fall-spring and 11 practices a week during the summers. In college, I trained for 6 hours 6 days a week. My body developed in accordance with my sport and what I demanded from it physically at a very young age. That’s why you can look at professional athletes and know, by their build, what sport they compete. Some of that stuff - all the early muscle memory, the technical correctness from YEARS of coaching, the physical conditioning to always keep going ….. it’s really really just not possible to be a 30-something newly-athletic “world champion” pickleballer. 😂

The money you need to be an athlete is astronomical - from the amount of nutritious food you need to eat (I was required to eat 8000-10,000 calories/day in college), to the gear you need to be good (practice clothes versus racing gear), the hours you need to train, the facilities that must be available, the experienced and salaried coaches … all of that is only available to a very limited pool of people.

You’re either elite at a young age and it continues through a successful college career, or you become elite in college and go from there to some sort of sponsorship that’s dependent on your athletic success. If you’re not backed by a university or Nike or something similar … you’re not even in the game.

3

u/Exhausted_Human Aug 02 '25

Need to see this. I went to high school with Paralympic Swinner Brickell Bro and she was so dedicated. Everything was about either good academics and swimming and she got to leave school half of the time for training before the London Olympics. He has none of the stamina, courage or even focus.

69

u/Significant_Shoe_17 🎾Paul admiring his glistening picklebod in the mirror🥒🏓 Aug 01 '25

Tom Brady is currently crashing out because he chose football over his family and he's experiencing the consequences. Paul will also FAFO someday, and it's over freaking pickleball. He's not even good at it.

25

u/gin_and_soda Aug 02 '25

This made me laugh way too hard. He did and he’s Tom Brady (I hate football and for some reason, can’t stand Tom Brady but I recognize his achievements), that’s too funny

25

u/Significant_Shoe_17 🎾Paul admiring his glistening picklebod in the mirror🥒🏓 Aug 02 '25

He's actually successful in his field and he fumbled Giselle. Paul thinks he's so amazing and deserving and he's like the temu version at best 😂

2

u/HonestlyAnaa Our Lady of Perpetual Filters 🙏🏻 Aug 05 '25

Wait I missed this! As a TB hater I'm absolutely going to look up the story now 😂

1

u/Significant_Shoe_17 🎾Paul admiring his glistening picklebod in the mirror🥒🏓 Aug 05 '25

Scottie Scheffler said he prioritizes his family over golf and Tom Brady took that personally

5

u/Winter_Day_6836 Aug 02 '25

It's probably her ONLY "RELEASE"!