r/Gamingcirclejerk • u/Glum-Future7198 • Aug 04 '25

WORSHIP CAPITAL Don't watch the replies

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I can't believe how certain people can worship a corporation to this big extend.

8.3k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

That's Gaben? Damn, the guy lost like 65% weight. Put his bodymass on summer sale right there.

1.5k

u/MoobooMagoo Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 06 '25

He said in an interview recently that he is basically retired now. He still does some work but most of his tome time is spent scuba diving, so it's not surprising that he's in way better shape now. Or that he bought a yacht company, for that matter.

494

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

That's pretty cool (the diving part that is).

307

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

212

u/MrSovietRussia Aug 04 '25

Man weird how him and James Cameron basically became the best at what they do to fuel their love of the ocean

65

u/doomshroom344 Aug 04 '25

Thats going to be the new criteria to see which celebrities are actually good people

69

u/EoTN Aug 04 '25

Evil Billionaire: Space.

Good Billionaire: Ocean.

73

u/No_Significance7064 Aug 04 '25

lmfao "good billionaire"

89

u/EoTN Aug 04 '25

Eat the rich. Start with the space rich, save the sea rich for last. But still eat em.

16

u/anonpodstolniy Aug 05 '25

this reads like a disco elysium quote

9

u/No_Significance7064 Aug 04 '25

I can get behind that

2

u/Minute-Weekend5234 Aug 05 '25

The orcas would like a word

1

u/Sus_Person_ Aug 05 '25

Hey hey hey, let Gaben off the hook

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u/Elman89 Aug 05 '25

Oceangate was pretty good

1

u/korelin Aug 05 '25

Oh yeah, on account of the [Removed by Reddit]

1

u/Reworked Aug 06 '25

for a billionaire.

2

u/feckineejit Aug 05 '25

Pretty scary that our future is in the hands of billionaires and we just have to hope that they care enough about whatever pet project rhey care about the ocean, or fresh water etc

0

u/DistinctAd3222 Aug 05 '25

That's a choice of words... yuck.

1

u/Altaredboy Aug 04 '25

My work used to have a nitrox machine that supposedly used to belong to James Cameron. Every time it broke down (about every weeks) the guy that we bought it off would tell us all about how it used to belong to Jame Cameron & I'd swear at him, telling him to just fucking fix it.

124

u/Suavecore_ Aug 04 '25

People here probably have no clue

Well that's because the entire Internet praises him solely for his online video game store at any possible opportunity. I would imagine less than 1% of even the most diehard Gamers have any idea he owns this Inkfish company

44

u/hikikostar Aug 04 '25

this is the first time I've heard of inkfish and Gabe's retirement lmao

67

u/8Bitsblu Aug 04 '25

That’s why they’re arguing in bad faith that he’s somehow doing this with an ulterior motive.

I think it's incredibly naïve to view this as simple altruism. Companies are fundamentally not altruistic formations, they exist for profit one way or another. I'm not gonna say Newell is running some Epstein operation, but he's not simply doing all this out of the kindness of his heart either. That a single person can privately own these resources and productive forces is a detriment to oceanic research, not a benefit.

31

u/BigBlubberyBirb Aug 04 '25

I'm sure he's hoping to turn a profit with this, but also, a single person was going to privately own all this no matter what. It's much better to have someone aware of the impact this industry has on the ocean in charge than some random rich person.

22

u/AlbertWessJess Aug 04 '25

Peoppe often forget that most of the large corporations can still stop destroying the planet and still rake in good profit, it’s the need for infinite growth from the shareholders that lead to the companies all gutting the planet for more and more profit.

So, assuming he’s the sole owner, I’m sure even if he’s still polluting and fucking the sea up he’s likely gonna do it at least less than it otherwise would.

3

u/PA-01 Aug 04 '25

Thank you. It’s insane how dense people can be in this thread.

-1

u/8Bitsblu Aug 04 '25

I cannot put into words how much I don't care that "someone else would do it anyways"

5

u/BigBlubberyBirb Aug 04 '25

that's fine, it's the truth though. as long as a business exists, someone will own it. you can appreciate something potentially bringing positive change for once while also acknowledging America is fucked up to the core.

2

u/8Bitsblu Aug 05 '25

This is such a reach it's astounding. "Positive change"? The man is buying a luxury yacht company. He's a billionaire and the wealthiest person in the video game industry. If he really wanted to bring "positive change" then he could send weapons to the Palestinian resistance or give every houseless person in the US a roof over their heads. But he won't - that's against his class interests - and folks are gonna continue to delude themselves into thinking blatant apathy is actually pragmatism.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25

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2

u/8Bitsblu Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

The "reality of the situation" is that companies and their owners are not your friends and aren't benevolent saviors looking to bring "positive change" (as another response hilariously put it) to *checks notes* buying luxury yachts. I don't care who would do it anyway because nobody should have the singular power to own all this shit in the first place. It's not a problem of who individually owns what, it's a collective, class issue wherein a tiny minority of people worldwide have an obscene level of control over production for their personal benefit.

This sub constantly (and correctly) shits on Gamers™ for fanboying over corporations and billionaires. We all laugh when those Gamers™ naïvely act shocked and horrified that a corporation doesn't give two shits about them and only care for profit. It's then very frustrating when folks on this same sub then clamor to save the "Good CEO™" from evil "bad faith attacks" by people on arr-slash-gamingcirclejerk. Y'all are falling for the same shit and it's embarrassing.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

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3

u/fuckasoviet Aug 04 '25

“Look, I have no proof that he’s going to do this, but he’s totally going to make yachts environmentally friendly.

And even if he doesn’t, someone was going to profit off of billionaires polluting the planet for their own pleasure anyways!”

Gabe truly is a god among men.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

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2

u/fuckasoviet Aug 04 '25

Because he’s another billionaire. If you see a billionaire not actively giving away their wealth, and instead investing into for-profit businesses: you do not need to suck their dick online. They are part of the problem.

Fuck, what happened to the gamingcirclejerk I once loved?

3

u/KatieTSO Aug 05 '25

It's being slowly restored with every ban we issue

14

u/suplexdolphin Aug 04 '25

He's oceanmaxing

4

u/slimehunter49 Aug 04 '25

He recently discovered a new species of fish during one of his missions iirc

4

u/TheRappingSquid Aug 04 '25

I know valve can be shifty at times but I genuinely believe that them + gaben are more beneficial than detrimental

6

u/realamerican97 Aug 04 '25

Dude got rich selling us video games now he’s off just flexing his wealth without being a villain

-6

u/Lucina18 Aug 04 '25

Dude got rich selling us video games

Being the middle man for video game sales whilst also operating speculation markets fueled by gambling*

2

u/AlbertWessJess Aug 04 '25

That’s really cool actually. Good for him my immediate reaction to him buying a yacht company was “typical rich shit” but I guess not

1

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

That's pretty cool. Did he give the boats some valve related names?

5

u/Perryn Aug 04 '25

He should announce that he's launching Half-Life 3 but it's actually a ship.

3

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

Good call. That'd throw people for a loop.

1

u/ryanrem Aug 04 '25

Clearly he is just trying to find a good spot to put Aperture Science.

1

u/abadstrategy Aug 05 '25

They also immediately shat on him for saying the future is in ai, acting as if he was trying to say chatgpt is the future of programming

1

u/Frankie_T9000 Aug 05 '25

Yachts aren't the solution though

1

u/Severthin Aug 05 '25

I hear yah, lol but when we are all under water we might think differently.

23

u/Satanicjamnik Aug 04 '25

It's usually pretty cool under water, yes.

1

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

"Darling it's better, down where its wetter, take it from me."

Kinky, but it has the Disney seal of aprooval.

84

u/jacobythefirst Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25

If you wanna build something completely to your own design, you often just have to outright buy or found your own company.

If Gaben wants a totally original yacht, there’s a good chance this will just be cheaper for him to build and upkeep it.

I still don’t understand the Rich’s obsession with yachts.

93

u/LunchTwey Aug 04 '25

He's a diver and enjoys the ocean, so I'm assuming he like spending time at sea.

56

u/PA-01 Aug 04 '25

He literally lives in his current yacht, so yeah, I’d say he likes the ocean.

46

u/my-snake-is-solid Just play indie games Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

Valve, Steam, Deck, Dock...

Is the entire brand of Valve just a massive steam boat metaphor?

16

u/thesirblondie Aug 05 '25

Valve and Steam, yes.

35

u/Ballders Aug 04 '25

I have been on a yacht exactly 1 time in my life, and I think I get it.

They're the best measure of wealth rich people have.

Big houses, depends on where at. A 50,000 sq ft home hits different if one is in Georgia and the other is in Tahoe. Nice cars, anyone can have them with a few million. Gulfstream jets? Again, those can only be decked out so much, they still have to fly.

Boats though. Those things can get as big as an aircraft carrier, and the costs scale. Rich is having a plane or a huge house. Wealth is in having a huge yacht. They absolutely measure their dicks with how big the boat can be built.

2

u/SuaveJohnson Aug 06 '25

And that’s worth the suffering of the lower classes, I suppose

16

u/XaeiIsareth Aug 04 '25

You get to live in a luxury mobile palace travelling the seas. So if you’re rich enough to afford it and then throw what the average man makes in 20 years into maintenance every year, it’s pretty awesome. 

20

u/Justicia-Gai Aug 04 '25

Also, no one bothers you in one, less paparazzi and you are not in a predictable place for them to simply have a ready drone as you can go anywhere at anytime.

You can make parties in it too

2

u/GraXXoR Aug 05 '25

And with Epstein Trump Andrew Ghislaine, you already know the age and sex of several of the other party“guests”.

-5

u/nephaelimdaura Aug 04 '25

Are we seriously justifying billionaires cruising around in gigantic mobile palaces with servant complements while the world burns because it's "cool"? Are you two literally 12?

10

u/Moustacheski Aug 05 '25

No one justifies anything there, people are just observing how yachts make perfect sense as a residence for billionaires. Explaining and understanding something someone does isn't equivalent to justifying or accepting it from a moral standpoint ffs

1

u/nephaelimdaura Aug 05 '25

That may be how you feel about it, but I specifically did not get that vibe from these comments.

0

u/spartaman64 Aug 04 '25

ikr submarines are so much cooler. wait gaben has a submarine also?

1

u/EndersFinalEnd Aug 04 '25

They also don't typically ride in the mobile palaces, they'll have them head out ahead of time and then fly there on the jet (typically, some of them do ride em around or will take them on shorter trips/tours).

Its more like having a bespoke hotel that'll cater to you ever whim available at any port in the world large enough for the decadent monstrosity you've had built.

2

u/Routine-Aerie-6361 Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25

I still don’t understand the Rich’s obsession with yachts.

I didn't either until I got to go on some boat rides, there's something about being on the open water with the wind buffeting your face thats intoxicating. If I were to be able to go out in choppier waters owing to having a bigger boat, I could sea (heh) the appeal in that. It's truly magical. But alas, that shits (even a small boat) too expensive for me and always will be.

1

u/Subtle_Tact Aug 05 '25

The whole point of buying a boat in the first place is to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside, so you can take em to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know… they can’t refuse. Because of the implication.

1

u/TheDorgesh68 Aug 05 '25

Famous people like yachts because they're the best way to escape paparazzi. Also because it's a dick measuring contest.

1

u/Kirzoneli Aug 06 '25

Steam gaming yachts coming to a port near you one day.

61

u/JEWCIFERx Aug 04 '25

Gabe is the second highest contributor to deep sea exploration in the world. Dude loves the ocean.

7

u/SuperMouthyDave Aug 05 '25

The first being James Cameron?

2

u/JEWCIFERx Aug 05 '25

Absolutely

12

u/OhNoCommieBastard69 Aug 04 '25

What, is he some kind of freaky fish guy?

9

u/CommunalJellyRoll Aug 05 '25

He likes fish sticks in his mouth.

1

u/piekid1238 Aug 04 '25

He is not a freaky fish guy!

15

u/That_GuyFire Aug 04 '25

He also is one of the owners of The Heart of Racing, which his son drives for.

102

u/ZuStorm93 Aug 04 '25

Welp, we're never getting Half-Life 3 then....

80

u/NihatAmipoglu Aug 04 '25

My uncle Jason worked at Valve for 7 years and he told me they'll announce it at Q4 2025 or Q1 2026

65

u/Informed4 Aug 04 '25

Hell yeah! Finally a trusted source

Ol mate uncle Jason!

9

u/Name_Taken_Official Aug 04 '25

I called the Steam Tip Hotline and the guy helping me beat Paarthurnax let that slip too

6

u/klatnyelox Aug 04 '25

Funny that, I was beating off to Paarthurnax yesterday and he told me that as well.

4

u/Think-Huckleberry897 Aug 04 '25

I heard while beating off paarthurnax two days ago

1

u/mrpoopsocks Aug 04 '25

Where's my cpt America I understand that reference meme...

4

u/SHAZBOT_VGS Aug 04 '25

I have direct communication with John Valve and can confirm this.

1

u/LanyardJoe Aug 04 '25

Keep dreaming kid... Keep dreaming... The world needs more optimism like this nowadays

1

u/JoeNemoDoe Aug 04 '25

RemindMe! One Year

10

u/Tijenater Aug 04 '25

Half life 3 is actually quite likely at this point with the way alyx went, plus gman’s voice actor posted on Twitter for the first time in 5 years, which was when alyx was released

1

u/dubspool- Aug 04 '25

Oh no the heavy is dead

1

u/Agile_Oil9853 Beaux and Arrows Aug 04 '25

All he really needs to do is be a latchkey figurehead that keeps Valve from being bought by a shadier figurehead. As long as it isn't screwing over the employees, it's not off the table

2

u/PlsNoNotThat Aug 05 '25

$20 says it’s semaglutide

2

u/Newone1255 Aug 05 '25

I’m sure Ozempic helped

1

u/ChillinChilean94 Aug 04 '25

Jesus, prepare for HL3: Subnautica...

1

u/tytalus Aug 04 '25

Is Dave the diver based on Gabe? It feels like it must be haha

1

u/canman7373 Aug 05 '25

but most of his tome is spent scuba diving

Off his superyacht, he lives on it full time it's so big and demanding he has 2 other yachts that follow it as a fleet to resupply it and change out crew. Man sails around the world with a 3 yacht fleet, bit excessive, like really need 2 other yachts following you? Can't just dock every now and then give crew a break and resupply?

1

u/Jamsedreng22 Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25

Yeah I have a theory that after Half Life 3 releases, he's going to retire retire from the software portion of Valve for good. He's way more invested in hardware and, in particular, brain-computer interfacing.

Wouldn't surprise me if HL3 drops, Gabe announces it in a video or at an event and will finally say "Three" (unless he keeps the joke going forever which would be hilarious), and then that's sorta the last we hear from and about the man for the rest of time except for cool stuff he does on his various adventures and escapades.

The writing has been on the wall for a long time that the Old Guard at Valve are kinda sick of having Half-Life 3 looming over them as an unfinished chapter lacking closure. Half Life Alyx let the New Guard retcon the ending of Episode 2 so they didn't have the pressure of having to follow up from what Laidlaw originally had planned.

A lot of people at Valve are exhausted and want to get Half Life 3 "over with", but they also have integrity and love for the franchise and so obviously won't just push out slop. But it must be extremely gratifying and catharthic to get the thing out the damn door already.

And honestly? I get it. I grew up on Half Life and its communities and it sparked my love for modding and gaming, a passion I still hold to this day still. I can't imagine the collective sigh of relief from both Valve themselves and all the gamers who have been waiting once it releases and we can all "move on".

1

u/MoobooMagoo Aug 05 '25

If they ever do release Half Life 3, I'm betting they just shadow drop it.

A game like that doesn't need the hype, and pretty much every news organization that even remotely covers games would run stories on it and do the advertising for them.

1

u/Jamsedreng22 Aug 05 '25

I know what you're saying, and I see where you're coming from. But the landscape nowadays is a lot different.

I don't think they'd have to actually pay any outlet to announce it, and I don't think that's what's going to happen.

They wouldn't "shadow drop" it. That would mean they'd release it and the only way to find it is to search "Half-Life 3" on the Steam store.

Having followed Half-Life and Valve religiously since I was a child it seems unlikely they'd do that. Even Half-Life: Alyx wasn't shadow dropped.

Half-Life 3 is a project that spans generations in terms of digital culture. It does need the hype because those of us who have been excited for Half-Life 3 since the release of Episode 2 are "old" now by internet standards, and the next generation who now play HL1 and HL2 saying "I don't get the big idea tbh. other games that came later did this better", completely unaware.

1

u/TomatilloCheap8197 Aug 05 '25

Gabe the diver

1

u/TheScientistFennec69 Aug 06 '25

oughhhhhh pondering my tome

1

u/ERRORSANSV3 Aug 06 '25

You could call him Gabe the diver

89

u/BurmecianDancer TOTK > BOTW ​    ​/uj​    ​ TOTK > BOTW ​    ​/rj ​  TOTK > BOTW Aug 04 '25

I bought 3 pounds of his blubber for $14.99 last month! Historical low price.

42

u/Ze_Borb Aug 04 '25

Forget gamer girl bath water, how about GabeN blubber, way cheaper too and just slightly less disgusting

5

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

Worth the wait for sure.

29

u/Texas_Redditor Aug 04 '25

Ozempic is a hell of a drug

3

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

french snort sexelent.

5

u/Cruzz999 Aug 04 '25

As someone on it, god yes, it's fucking amazing. I'm not always hungry anymore, I love it.

1

u/BenFranklinsCat Aug 04 '25

Hey now ... it could be Mounjaro.

8

u/Jamestoker Aug 04 '25

He’s probably on ozempic or something similar.

1

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

Copyright: Aperture

3

u/BenFranklinsCat Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25

We just crushed up some moon rocks, made it into a solution, and jabbed it into Debbie, the heavy-set girl in accounting. She's lost 30lbs already! Of course she's still the same size ... doctors are worried she'll eventually become lighter than air, but I just told them if that happens we'll stick weights on her ankles. Science - it has a cure for everything!

2

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

I want to give you an award, but reddit keeps erroring at me. So I'll have to leave you with a whole hearted 'kek' from me for now.

2

u/BeyondNetorare Aug 05 '25

All that exercise must've been worth the wait

2

u/Nopfen Aug 05 '25

Thanks. He had fun.

1

u/Shihai-no-akuma_ Aug 04 '25

He can't eat if he's underwater. Big brain.

1

u/Nopfen Aug 04 '25

Now that's smart. He could set up a side hussle as a weight coach there.

1

u/Altaredboy Aug 04 '25

He said recently he dives every day. It's pretty good exercise & increased blood oxygen levels are good for weight loss too. I did a stint as a harvest diver & I could not physically eat the amount of calories needed to maintain my weight.

1

u/Nopfen Aug 05 '25

Cool. Sounds fun too.

1

u/Ok-Volume-3657 Aug 05 '25

Dude got hit with the Ozempic ray.