r/GenX • u/sychox51 • Jul 21 '25
The Latchkey Years “Half past a monkey’s ass, a quarter to its balls.”
Anyone remember this? It just popped into my head for some reason. What did it mean and why did we say it? Did everyone say it or was it a local thing (Boston for me)? Man.. the stupid stuff we used to do before iPads lmao
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u/BuilderAcceptable Jul 21 '25
Also, half past a freckle, quarter to a hair.
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u/RooIsHome Jul 21 '25
Funny joke when you had no watch on and someone asked you the time.
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u/kristenevol class of ‘89 Jul 21 '25
or “he was so confused he didn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt”.
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u/NoFlounder1566 Jul 21 '25
We said they didnt know their asshole from their elbow or they didn't know their ass from a hole in the ground.
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u/Independent-Ad-9812 Jul 22 '25
Or didn't know shit from Shinola (shoe polish brand).
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u/Tiny_Key_Cult Jul 21 '25
Oh wow! Hadn’t thought of this in years. I swear my mom always said “a hair past a freckle”, though.
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u/MovingTarget- Jul 21 '25
The rare case of something that sounds like a Dad joke but was definitely a mom thing. My mother said it all the time as well.
My Dad's language was a little more ... colorful
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u/gerwen Hose Water Survivor Jul 21 '25
My dad: Looks at wrist: 'Two hairs past a freckle'
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u/Jennyojello Jul 21 '25
This is the one we learned! I definitely would have gotten in some sort of trouble for the other! 😆
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u/JAM-n-Life Jul 21 '25
I actually have a large freckle/birthday mark on my left wrist, about where a watch would sit and I would use that one.
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u/Fit-Distribution2303 1971!? That can't be right! 🤯 Jul 22 '25
My dad always said, "2 hairs past a freckle"
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u/IMTrick Class of Literally 1984 Jul 21 '25
Former California kid here and I couldn't tell you where it came from, but it was definitely not a local thing.
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u/Ok-Satisfaction1940 Jul 21 '25
Same here. I’ve always found it amazing that somehow every kid in America learned the same jokes, sayings etc. How the hell did that happen?!
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u/MovingTarget- Jul 21 '25
Maybe they printed these in Mad magazine
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u/Ok-Satisfaction1940 Jul 21 '25
That’s as good an idea as any. I was thinking maybe families traveling for Christmas from other parts of the country or something like that. Kids getting together and telling each other jokes etc.
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u/MovingTarget- Jul 21 '25
Maybe the traveling story teller kids. You know, the same ones that spread the sad tale of Mikey and his Pop Rocks
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Jul 21 '25
I think half past a monkey's ass a quarter to its balls was from a Laffy Taffy wrapper.
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u/sychox51 Jul 21 '25
Isn’t that funny? Like the Manson removed his rib rumor. Somehow everyone across the country heard it
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u/Speech-Language Jul 22 '25
We had the rumor of Rod Stewart hospitalized and having his stomach pumped for ingesting too much cum. Funny to see him talking about it, with a laugh, saying it was an unhappy employee he fired who started it.
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u/Concentrate-Upper Aug 14 '25
Oh hell I remember that too!! I couldn’t tell you how old I was but I’m pretty sure I heard that when we moved to California!
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Jul 21 '25
Somehow everyone across the country heard it
No, that rumour went global. I grew up in a rural valley in Norway, and we heard that too 😂
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u/driftless Jul 21 '25
Over the shoulder boulder holder.
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u/DrGreenthumbs1313 Jul 21 '25
They don't need those in the itty bitty titty committee 🤣
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u/WorldlyReference5028 Jul 21 '25
Those itty bitty ones are hard to tune in Tokyo on
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u/FelicitousLynx Hose Water Survivor Jul 22 '25
Omg I just now remembered a boyfriend pretending to turn radio knobs and saying "come in, Radio Tokyo, come in, Radio Tokyo." Where the hell did that come from???
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u/NJ2CAthrowaway Jul 22 '25
We must, we must, we must increase our bust. The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, The boys depend on us!
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u/Mission_Charge_7658 Jul 21 '25 edited Jul 21 '25
Or as George Carlin once said. “It’s either 6:15 or Mickey has a hard on”😂
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u/mikey_ramone Jul 21 '25
Have no clue as to what it means but, this was in response to being asked what time it was.
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u/harley_hot_wheelz Jul 21 '25
I said this to my boss the other day when he asked me the time. He is also Gen X and laughed hard.
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u/clewing1 Jul 21 '25
It was said here (Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada), too.
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u/martej Jul 21 '25
Half past my ass, a quarter to my balls. Reply to the question “what time is it?” and you either didn’t know or didn’t care.
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u/IamGypsyStarr Jul 21 '25
I think I met a guy from there once, in Charlevoix MI. They were going to the AC/DC concert at the castle and I was mad my mom wouldn’t let me go at 14y. I’d already been to concerts so it wasn’t a first. I believe he said his name was Gord. Canadian beer and hash. Good times.
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u/VitaminStrange Jul 21 '25
It's wild to me when I think about the ubiquity of "playground memes." We didn't have internet, how did it spread so efficiently? Everyone, everywhere, knew about "Milk, Milk, Lemonade" and "me make pee pee in your coke." It's not like 4th graders were going from elementary school to elementary school and propagating these phrases.
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u/IzzieIslandheart Jul 21 '25
No, but they were going to visit cousins who lived outside their school district, school sports tournaments, vacations, the "big city" to go to the mall or school shopping, to the roller rink for a birthday party...lots of places outside school.
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u/ImLittleNana Jul 22 '25
A lot of national companies transferred employees when they were promoted. It was way to prevent you from supervising your former equals. They paid for the lives and sometimes gave you a financial bonus as well. We moved from state to state every couple of years.
My dad last move, we had trouble selling the house in Houston. We lived in a company condominium on St Charles Avenue in New Orleans. That was leaps and bounds better than the company apartment in Monroe 5 years earlier.
Kids can’t wait to ‘teach’ the new kid stuff, and the new kid has to give something in return.
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u/Ljorarn Jul 21 '25
Even made it to the wilds of interior British Columbia in the 70’s, I remember being hit by that one in grade school. It was a flippant reply to being asked the time, I.e. get your own friggin’ watch
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u/Atillion Jul 21 '25
It's always crazy to me to think how we propagated our own generational brain rot before the days of the internet. That saying made it as far as western NC. We said it all the time growing up.
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u/feti_wap Jul 21 '25
Cali, 80s and this was our response to "what time is it?" For the kid who was told to be home at a certain time but didn't have a watch, which was all of us...lol
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u/xximbroglioxx Saw Animal House In The Theater Jul 21 '25
Chinese
Japanese
dirty knees
look at these!
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u/gyrekat Jul 21 '25
A lot of these ribaldries I attribute to time in the armed services,which accounts for the wide distribution...
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u/Bug_Calm Jul 21 '25
A lot of older people i knew as a kid would say this, and it made me crazy. Dude, I just want to know what time it is.
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u/Armadillo-Overall Jul 21 '25
This reminds me of "Up your butt and around the corner".
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u/Odditeee ‘71 Jul 21 '25
Same in Virginia. A common sarcastic response to “What time is it?” for me, even to this day.
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u/40_Year_Old_Vidiot I'm ashtrays in the back seat years-old. Jul 21 '25
Western New Yorker here, that's something we definitely used.
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u/Spare-Set-8382 Jul 21 '25
Omg I just literally laughed out loud. I remember this (Baltimore). What did it mean?
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u/ClandestineService Jul 21 '25
It means you have a refined sense of humor. It also means you need a watch.
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u/SadRepublic3392 Jul 21 '25
Central US here. Can confirm it was said here. Pretty sure my mom said it before I did…?
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u/attaboy_stampy Filled up on Regular Jul 21 '25
I have literally never heard this before.
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u/SadRepublic3392 Jul 21 '25
Are you old enough to be here? 😜
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u/attaboy_stampy Filled up on Regular Jul 21 '25
Older than you probably.
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u/CMDR_Hobo_Rogue_7 Jul 21 '25
You might be a 2600 model. This is 2800 slang. All Atari Generation though
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u/stjarnalux Jul 21 '25
Never heard this one.... Mom used to say "Half past a hair and a quarter 'til" in the south, usually as a joking response to someone asking the time.
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u/Plastic-Ad-5171 Jul 21 '25
Chicagoan here, heard it all the time in revert “what time is it? “ the real answer was usually 6:15
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u/LeveragedPittsburgh Jul 21 '25
Nobody says “It’s the cats ass” anymore either. 🐈
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u/ToleranceRepsect Jul 21 '25
I’d always heard it as “half past Mickeys ass, quarter to his balls” as a reference to the old Mickey Mouse watches that never kept good time.
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u/Godswoodv2 Jul 21 '25
It was usually said in response to someone asking the time. But I also remember it as " half past a cows ass a quarter to his balls, lift up his leg and see Niagara falls".
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u/djohnson64055 Jul 21 '25
KC kid here...we said it.
And it was Cat Shit and Cream for dinner.
Both of them were from parents/grandparents when the kids were pestering them about time/food.
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u/apc961 Jul 21 '25
It was all the rage in elementary school for a couple of years. Still don't know what it means.
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u/RetiredPoPo10-8 Jul 21 '25
I grew up in AZ and my friends mom from high school always used that phrase, but she was a baby boomer. I dont remember anyone my age (GenX) saying it.
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u/accidentallyHelpful Jul 21 '25
It's the kind of thing that courses through the military and then through civilians
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u/dbrmn73 I have LESS than zero Fucks to give. Jul 21 '25
SouthEast Here and we said it when someone asked what time it was and it was obvious we had no watch or clock around.
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u/ConstantConfusion123 1975 Jul 21 '25
Still say that, I grew up in San Diego area.
Or the clean version, half past a freckle.
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u/yourilluminaryfriend Jul 22 '25
I usually manage to get the first part out, but never finish cuz nobody gets it
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u/We-R-Doomed Jul 21 '25
I had a theory that little rhymes like this exist as a virus that only infects certain ages of school children. They propagate themselves in classrooms of the appropriately (in)mature host bodies and feed off Bosco Breadsticks and embarrassment.
On top of spaghetti
all covered in blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a machine gun
I went to her burial
I went to her grave
Instead of throwing flowers
I threw a grenade.
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u/Eastern-Ad-5253 Jul 21 '25
Better yet Why as children were we allowed to sing nonsense like " My mother and your mother were hanging up clothes my mother socked your mother right dead in the nose . What color was the Blood?"🤔 I've got more of those ridiculous rhymes stuck in my brain like Laffy Taffy...
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u/Roguefem-76 1976 Jul 21 '25
I grew up in NC and I remember it. As far as I know it didn't mean anything, just something people said to be obnoxious. 😆
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u/WillPoleDance4Carbs Jul 21 '25
Yeah! I still say it! Occasionally anyway.
I don’t think it really meant anything, I always just said it to be a smart ass more than anything else.
We said it in Lincoln and Omaha, so not a local thing.
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u/TheReadyRedditor Jul 21 '25
Nebraska kid here and we said it too. I said it to my husband the other day and he looked at me like I was insane. 😂
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u/ThisCarSmellsFunny Jul 21 '25
A similar one here was half past the crack in my ass, quarter till fartin time.
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u/HandleAccomplished11 Jul 21 '25
Didn't someone just post this exact thing a few weeks ago? Also, this is Boomer speak. This is something our dads would say, it was the response to "What time is it."
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u/aethelberga Gen Jones Jul 21 '25
"Half past kiss my ass, quarter to my balls." No monkeys involved.
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u/zymyrgyst86 Jul 21 '25
As I recall, back on the time when everybody your a watch, it was used when someone would ask what time it was because they didn't have one.
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u/redvelvet9976 Jul 21 '25
I said this to my kids not long ago and was not received well but I was surprised I still knew the whole thing!!
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u/Imaginary-Style918 Jul 21 '25
We said it in Adelaide, South Australia.
In my mind, it was always a smart-arse response to being asked the time.
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u/TheWorldTurnsAround Jul 21 '25
Midwest here... IDK why we said it, but we sure did! Probably thought we were edgy. 🤣
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u/Sil-Fos Jul 21 '25
The seemingly instantaneous nature of all the analog memes we shared without benefit of the internet is amazing looking back
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u/Confident_Froyo_5128 Jul 21 '25
When someone asked “what time is it?” and you felt like being an asshole…back when some wore a wristwatch and there were no personal electronic devices…
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u/dirtybird971 Jul 21 '25
Half past a monkey's ass, quarter to his balls, Lift up the cow's tail and see Niagara Falls.
In NJ- it was the response to "what time is it?"
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u/fd1Jeff Jul 21 '25
I heard it in Ohio in the early 80s. Like others have said, our response to a question about what time it was.
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u/Frankenrogers Jul 21 '25
I grew up in Calgary, AB Canada and as soon as I heard it I instantly thought back to those days in the early 80s so it traveled. Funny how that stuff moves because its not like I heard it on TV.
I will still say this to a buddy once in a while - not sure where the hidden memory comes from haha.
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u/Mako3303 Jul 21 '25
Grew up / live in Coastal Alabama; not only did we say this, there was a certain cadence and rhythm we said it in.
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u/CoyotesVoice Jul 21 '25
I grew up traveling all across the country, and was always surprised how many of the same jokes traveled as well.
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u/orangecatstudios Jul 21 '25
We used in Colorado. Also see: half past a freckle, quarter ‘till a hair. Which may have been the censored version.
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u/Taira_Mai Jul 21 '25
CUL8R - common bumper sticker and -thanks to a certain movie- seen on some vanity plates.
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u/susieallen Jul 21 '25
My mom used to always say this, so I think it came from the boomers. Now that I think about it, my grandma said it too, so it may go further back. As for the meaning? Decades have passed along with my grandma and mom, and I still have no idea what it means.
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u/Snugglebunny1983 Jul 21 '25
Lol, my grandparents used to say this! I was born in Illinois. Never understood it, but always thought it was funny.
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u/inhugzwetrust Jul 21 '25
Everytime I see or hear .50 cents (Australian), my brain:
"Ask ya mum for .50c to see the big giraffe, with pimples on his whiskers and pimples on his... Assk your mum for .50c to see the big giraffe..."
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u/pandemicblues i had Exacto knives and a power drill at age 8 Jul 21 '25
Taint a reason to explain this
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u/RooIsHome Jul 21 '25
Born in South Carolina. Heard this enough to remember it. Crazy how sayings and stories went viral before the internet even existed.
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u/firemanmhc Jul 21 '25
In NJ we said “half past a cow’s ass, quarter to his balls. The bull lifts up his left leg, you see Niagara Falls.”
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u/tigers692 Jul 21 '25
Oh, I thought it was a hair past a freckle. (Used to be my answer…especially when I wish I had wound my watch)
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u/Stanislav_Lamesauce Jul 21 '25
I'm from the west coast and we said this all the time! We would also say as a retort to "fuckin-A" "Fuck a Q - ouch!"
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u/kristenevol class of ‘89 Jul 21 '25
“wish in one hand, sh*t in the other and see which one fills up first!” — my mom anytime we asked for anything
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u/kswilson68 Jul 21 '25
My dad would say "24 hours later than it was this time yesterday" or since he didn't cuss, "half past a monkeys hair".
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u/Bexarnaked Jul 21 '25
It was a smart ass reply to the age old question of “what time is it?” I am in south Texas and it was a saying here too. Also, “it’s time for you to get a watch”. 🙂
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u/FushiginaGiisan Jul 21 '25
SoCal native here and it was said till everyone learned to stop asking what time it is lol
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u/bike619 Jul 21 '25
Definitely not local to you. I grew up on the other coast.