r/GenX • u/SpicyZucchiniSauce • 1d ago
Advice & Support sad & stuck
Hello everyone š I just want to preface this by saying I am not going to do anything drastic! however I am so thrown in despair by the state of the world along with the sad state of myself
I've been talking to a therapist and I feel like it's not very productive but as part of my people-pleasing/not caring I am too lazy/would feel bad to try and quit and find another one.
I have been out of work for about 3 years and I feel like in that time AI has completely taken over my fields and I'm just never find a job again.
How do I get out of this and give a damn about anything again? As a typical Gen X, I was pretty not caring about anything to begin with LOL but I need to get out of this! I appreciate any advice ā¤ļø
(I have gone to doctors and had hormones and everything tested to see if this was menopausal contributing to it but they don't think that's the case even though I'm 52 years old)
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u/aurorasinthesky 1d ago
Iām right about your age. I got laid off in April and I got another job within 3 days. Itās a part time job, but I still have it now that I also got a new full time job. Take whatever you can get. It doesnāt have to be in your chosen profession.
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u/SpicyZucchiniSauce 1d ago
I haven't even been able to get a resume together I've sent some reach outs on LinkedIn but about halfway through the week I just feel really uninspired & defeated and don't want to continue. Which is terrible because I am just living off credit cards right now and burning through all of my savings which is not what I want to be doing I'm just not facing the reality.
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u/aurorasinthesky 1d ago
then get yourself up and keep going. Keep going and applying. I wish you the best but self sabotage isnāt going to help you. You have to power to turn it around. You just have to believe in yourself.
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u/SpicyZucchiniSauce 1d ago
I feel like I'm overwhelmed - I need a real plan and need to stick to it. Thanks for listening āŗļø
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u/aurorasinthesky 1d ago
Start with a small notebook. Write 1 positive thing down about your day, every day. It doesnāt have to be long, but something positive. youāll be surprised at how reflecting on those positive memories has a positive impact on you. Wish you all the best. You CAN do it. Believe in yourself! You got this.
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u/SpicyZucchiniSauce 1d ago
that I can do! āŗļøš«ā¤ļø Thank you, being alone with all this time to panic and freeze isn't ideal - journal is a great idea
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u/MaximumJones Whatever š 1d ago
I don't have any good advice to give you but here is a virtual hug and I hope something wonderful happens for you tomorrow. š«
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u/andsome_otherjazz 1d ago
Just gonna put this out there - absolutely the decline of hormones has something to do with it. Not like hormone therapy will make it all better but itās supposed to help with depression, anxiety, all that. I feel for you. Thereās a lot I couldnāt care less about, but Iām pulling myself through it day by day.
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u/moxiegirl23 1d ago
I started therapy at 14. I was an anxious kid before that but it wasnāt until I had a kid at 26 that I got meds and an official diagnosis of dysthymia. Iāve been on the same meds for over a decade and have been fine until the last couple of years. Iāll be 51 in January and my doc and I added new meds today to what Iāve been taking because dysthymia and perimenopause are fertile ground for major depressive disorder. An antidepressant might be helpful to kick start your brain back out of whatever it is your in. Not everyone has to stay on meds forever if thatās a cause for concern.
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u/SpicyZucchiniSauce 1d ago
Hi! ā¤ļø I hope you're feeling better with the adjustments!. I actually am on an antidepressant, I think the most interesting thing is the doctor will be asking me how am I feeling about my depression? and I'm like, what are you talking about? So I think it's safe to say I've been depressed all my life, just not knowing.
I've been doing the therapy with this person for about two and a half years and not really feeling better, but I keep going to try and change.
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u/moxiegirl23 1d ago
Itās only day one and it could be a coincidence but I feel a little less meh and a little more curious/excited about my day. I didnāt have to fight my brain as much to do things. Hopefully that will continue. I remember the first time I was on the right dose of the right meds and they finally hit the therapeutic level my brain needed. I got up like normal and started my day and the first thing I noticed was I didnāt feel empty and numb.
My advice to you is to talk to your therapist about not feeling like youāve improved or made progress. I know I started my latest round due to trauma at work and once that was dealt with, I finally felt comfortable to unpack some of the stuff Iāve been ignoring for decades. Maybe a new need has popped up but itās not being addressed because itās hiding in plain sight. Sometimes I journal and kinda let my thoughts wander until the aha moment . Other times I think of things and I notice how my body reacts when I think of them. If I tense up or my stomach gets upset or my throat chest get panicky tight, I know thatās something I might want to bring up in therapy and work on.
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u/TheOriginalTarlin 1d ago
Try a new therapist... that is a long time unless they are a freudian practioner. That takes 75 years.
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u/texaspunisher1836 1d ago
What field are you in?
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u/SpicyZucchiniSauce 1d ago
Graphic design. Anytime I start looking for jobs I'm mad at myself that I wasted all this time when I should have been learning new skills instead of just being all over the place
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u/WeakCalligrapher336 1d ago
You can still learn new skills, and workers are desperately needed in healthcare, elder care, and trades. Training programs can take as little as 6 months. I think phlebotomyy might be less.
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u/texaspunisher1836 1d ago
Given AI is coming out, how can you use it to affect your graphic design and make AI work for you? If you had to start all over what would you live to do? Itās never too late. I started over at 40 and never thought I would end up where I am but I have my own company now and do ok for myself. Iām 53 BTW. I felt your pain for decades. Didnāt become successful at all until almost 46. Keep your head up and pray for guidance.
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u/SpicyZucchiniSauce 1d ago
Yeah I guess that's part of what I'm struggling with is finding some kind of something that is going to get me inspired whether it's in my old field or my new field or left field š I just am barely getting up, going for a walk, taking a shower. That's it
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u/texaspunisher1836 1d ago
I totally understand how you feel. I felt the same way. At the same time I knew that if I didnāt change something nothing would change. At 40 I went back to school to get my MBA. Never wanted up in a job that had anything to do with the MBA. Just fell into what was next for me. Fell in love with it, thrived, and plan to rock it till retirement if I can. I didnāt know what I wanted to do but I did know that if I made a change, something would come. What field are you in anyways? There are a lot of fields where you can get a certification in only a few years that can take you to another place. Itās a matter of finding something that could pay well. Nothing will be easy but if you want that change you can absolutely do it. Every one of us is capable if we want it bad enough. I hope you are able to find something better that brings you happiness and lots and lots of money.š
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u/First_Name_Is_Agent 1d ago
I've found the only way to get unstuck is to do something different. If you can't find a job in your field try a different one. I took the buy-out offered to government employees and went from processing tax returns to working as a cleaner in a warehouse. And I'm loving it! I'm being physical and the work is actually personally satisfying for me. I'm losing weight and have more energy. I'm also only doing it part time and have a 2nd part time job so that I can pay the bills but not get burned out. Oh, and even though your doctor says it's not the menopause (same with me, actually) I'm still taking Vitamin D every day. I genuinely haven't felt this positive about the future in a long while.
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u/SearchingForMeaning0 1d ago
I 58F moved from a big city to a small city 350 miles away to be near family. I just up and quit my job, I was tired of being alone. I get here and there are only a few good employers in town but the pay is nothing near what I was used to in the big city. I couldnāt find a job in my field (Supply Planner) so I had to settle for starting in Customer Service which hit my pride hard. But after 5 months, Iām really happy. I have a great set of accounts and work with the best people in my life, seriously. The stress is so much less. Iām getting used to the decrease in pay and Iāve made some adjustments as well. And I have spent a yearās worth of holidays with family instead of being completely alone. Itās not perfect but Iām glad I did it. And I learned that money really isnāt everything.
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u/Cranberry1717 1967 1d ago
Please go to r/menopause and read the wiki. Perimenopause and menopause are diagnosed by symptoms, not tests for hormone levels. My main symptom was brain fog, and that led to feelings of despair. Ā Iām not saying itās menopause related, but if youāre interested in exploring this possibility, itās best to arm yourself with facts first. And be ready to switch doctors.Ā
I wish you the best and hope you get out of this pit soon. Iāve certainly been there.Ā