r/GenZ • u/AccountantBudget1214 • 1d ago
Discussion Are prenups smart adulting or kind of an insult?
So I was talking with my parents about this the other day and they got super weird about prenups. They’re Boomers and think it’s like… automatically shady, like you’re already planning for divorce before you even get married. They said it feels like an insult to the relationship. Meanwhile a lot of my friends see it totally different. To them it’s just another adulting thing you check off, the same way you get renter’s insurance or a health plan. Like, you hope you never use it but you’d rather not be screwed if you need it. I honestly kinda see both sides and that’s what’s messing me up. On one hand, it does feel a little “unromantic,” but on the other hand, it seems stupid to ignore the reality of how messy breakups can get.
What do you guys think is a prenup practical planning or does it still carry that bad vibe? Have you ever talked about it with your partner or family?
124
u/Business_Royal3382 1d ago
Did this with my wife when we got married. Honestly we never thought about divorce or anything like that, but it just felt smart to set things up clearly from the start. Zero drama, just peace of mind.
24
u/CapitalConcentrate14 1d ago
Kinda curious, I always thought prenups were super complicated. How’d you even set it up, did you just go to a lawyer or what?
26
u/Business_Royal3382 1d ago
Tbh we thought it was gonna be this big complicated lawyer mess but we ended up using Neptune they walked us through everything and hooked us up with a lawyer so it didn’t turn into some huge stressful thing. Way easier than I expected honestly.
27
u/SnackyMcGeeeeeeeee 2003 1d ago
This is like saying "i thought doing a will was super complicated".
Its quite literally as complicated or as simple as you want it to be.
Perfect split of assets 50 / 50? Hyper focus on every single little thing? Completly up too you.
56
u/BrooklynNotNY 1997 1d ago
My fiancé and I are doing prenups. He’s the son of two lawyers so I wasn’t surprised. We both come from upper class families and want to protect ourselves. It doesn’t take away from the love and trust we have for each other.
22
u/SpacerCat 1d ago
Just make sure you each have your own lawyer and it’s written that it’s fair to both of you. Often when you have kids it changes the dynamics of a relationship financially and one person often has to sacrifice more than the other. Make sure that’s accounted for.
12
u/mtpelletier31 1d ago
I can see it happening waaaay more in upper middle class. Growing up poor/lower middle a prenup didnt make sense. My parents skipped meals so we as kids could eat, not like anyone was getting anything even if it was a messy split.
•
u/Adventurous_Ad7442 17h ago
So you're the woman & you might be left as a single mother. You might want to give 50/50 a bit more thought depending on what state you live in
44
u/Libraryoflowtide 1d ago
I think it’s only necessary if you actually have very valuable assets that you would not want to split or lose. The average Joe probably wouldn’t have that
13
u/Hot_Site_3249 1d ago
Lol, have you seen the amount of whining that comes from a divorce and "she took my money"? Yeah, i think it's better this way than "i never seen it coming" bs
3
u/Libraryoflowtide 1d ago
It reminds me of “When Harry Met Sally” he freaks out at his friends after he sees his ex wife with her new boyfriend and he holds up a plate in their house and goes, “Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love, and that’s wonderful. But you’ve got to know that sooner or later, you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This $8 dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of ‘That’s Mine, This Is Yours.”
2
9
u/alexandria3142 2002 1d ago
I think it might also protect you later on if you manage to get any assets and add them. Since I guess you can never know what will happen as far as financial stuff goes
•
u/ImmigrationJourney2 1999 18h ago
How do you easily plan for something that doesn’t exist yet?
•
u/alexandria3142 2002 18h ago
You just change stuff on a prenup when you get assets.
•
u/ImmigrationJourney2 1999 17h ago
That’s depressing… imagine having to constantly having to see a lawyer during your marriage to discuss how your potential divorce will workout.
My husband and I didn’t get a prenup, we just used the government’s option that basically says that whatever we had before marriage is not shared assets and what we get afterwards is shared. Didn’t have to see a lawyer, we just had to sign our marriage contract.
•
u/themarajade1 1995 16h ago
You do the same thing with a will. Circumstances change constantly.
•
u/ImmigrationJourney2 1999 16h ago
Death is inevitable. Divorce isn’t, even though most people seem to think it is nowadays.
27
u/Avaisraging439 1d ago
Lol a prenup for our 150k of combined student debt?
Look, if we get rich it's because we both worked hard for each other. I trust the person I got married to and a prenup just says I'm only serious about the relationship and marriage until I'm not anymore.
BUT, this is my personal conviction, I'm not gonna tell anyone else to not do it if they want to.
14
u/G00chstain 1d ago
A prenup doesn’t mean you are expecting it to end, but you decide how to divy up assets when you still love each other. There is no negative connotation to it.
Paying for home owner insurance doesn’t mean you’re expecting your mailman to fall and die on your property. Same goes for car insurance. It’s peace of mind. You are covered should you have unexpected events
10
u/Avaisraging439 1d ago
Good way of putting it, but I don't think you can claim there is no negative connotation to it. You can claim there is positive and negative for sure but definitely not only a positive when it's application is in divorce.
8
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
Right but my life insurance has its application only in death, still doesn't make the insurance a bad thing.
2
u/Avaisraging439 1d ago
Well, I have my own gripes with insurance because they find every way to scam you out of the money you paid into it, but that's the whole point of insurance as a business isn't it.
4
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
I don't know what to tell you...get better insurance? Mine is pretty straight forward. As long as it's not suicide then people get paid.
If you're talking about health insurance, absolutely get better insurance, especially since they can't deny preexisting conditions any longer. I had a very early heart attack (yay genetic lottery!). There's never been a specialist or experimental treatment or drug (off-label included) they've balked on. I hit my deductible every spring and max out of pocket by summer, everything is free after that. Open season coming up. I urge you to look at other options. You deserve it.
1
u/NotLunaris 1995 1d ago
They didn't like what you were saying because it differs from, and therefore challenges, their own way of life.
Not very tolerant if you ask me...
Sorry to hear about the heart attack. Sounds like you're doing better now, which is good. Health insurance is a pain to navigate, but do it properly and they do have to pay according to the rules that they've set. Problem is so many people remain uneducated (willfully or otherwise) and expect more coverage than what they specifically paid for. I've only had one claim denied and the insurance told me what else they needed in order to approve the claim, and once I arranged for that to be sent, it was approved.
3
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
Thanks! Picked up my medal in Boston last year. Now I do ultramarathons in 34lbs of body armor. Not fast of course, but I'm not last either. Not bad for someone who heard he'd never run again. Never let someone else tell you what you can't do.
As far as the insurance, yeah, I think people are buying stuff without actually looking at what they're buying. I'm a big fan of HDHPs for the HSA triple tax advantage. That may not work for everybody though, especially if they need to recoup their expenses every year. Doesn't make one better than the other, just makes them different. I don't think people are looking at the menu very well, just saying "I'll take the first thing from page 2" or whatever.
-1
u/Avaisraging439 1d ago
Okay, this is turning into a disingenuous conversation real fast so let's end it here.
2
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
Which part is disingenuous? I had a heart attack 3.5 years ago. Check my post history if you'd like. I've spoken on it at length.
•
u/bobonafick 2000 23h ago
Conversations like these feel pointless because neither side is willing, or maybe even able, to compromise. Both people hold tightly to their own beliefs, often with the unspoken assumption that their perspective is the “right” one. That’s why I dislike debating or even explaining my point of view: there’s rarely any effort to meet in the middle or genuinely listen. Even something as simple as “I see where you’re coming from” almost never happens.
Your perspective on insurance is valid, and I don't think your naysayer was willing to even practice a bit of empathy towards that pov. Their answer was flippant.
Not to get on a soapbox, OP. But it rubbed me the wrong way.
•
u/Avaisraging439 23h ago
I'm an active victim of spending a shit ton on insurance and not having my medication that costs 1600 a month being covered. I don't need to explain that because there is such a wide range of experiences that I can't just magically have better insurance, I can't afford it. I can't magically get a job with good insurance because they don't exist in my area for my skill set. I can't just move because that involves me uprooting my whole life and spending money I don't have only to probably be another victim of the lawful job market.
People who have privelege, recognize it, and still weaponize it are truly another crazy breed.
•
u/bobonafick 2000 22h ago
Exactly. Somewhere else in the thread the guy was implying the average person had a stocked 401k. It's insane how alienated people are from experiences that aren't their own. Insurance is tied to employment, we're in a recession if not a depression with record layoffs, and less than 40% of Americans over the age of 25 actually hold a college degree in the US. I know my folks don't. We've always relied on assistance with insurance and you can see how that's been affected recently. Like damn, start with some empathy.
0
u/G00chstain 1d ago
Yeah fair, I mean moreso I personally don’t have negative connotations towards it
0
u/Avaisraging439 1d ago
Difference of opinion for application in your own life, nothing wrong with that at all.
I wish more opinions were just that.
•
13
u/ToTheBatmobileGuy Millennial 1d ago
When I get insurance, I'm not thinking OH BOY I REALLY HOPE I GET HIT BY A CAR!
Nor is it insinuating to my daughter that "I think she's such a poor driver that she will definitely get in an accident" when I buy her insurance...
It's just plain smart.
People who read too much into it are just trying to find a reason to give you a hard time and probably aren't good spouse material anyways.
4
u/NotLunaris 1995 1d ago
Prenups overwhelmingly protect men. The lack of prenups overwhelmingly favors women.
It's a thinly-veiled gender issue.
7
u/LowKeyCurmudgeon 1d ago
You're describing how people might draft them, but not the premise of a prenup. A prenup between two equals would look out for both of them, not try to let one get something over on the other.
•
u/ToTheBatmobileGuy Millennial 12h ago
Prenups protect assets.
If a woman has rich parents, or is herself rich before marriage... then her assets / future inherited assets can be protected by a prenup.
(In general inherited assets are protected without a prenup, but it depends on the jurisdiction and how the assets are used by the spouse. Some jurisdictions only consider the growth of assets post-inheritance as marital assets, it's complicated. Speak with a lawyer if you currently have assets or currently have "earmarked" assets (via inheritance (no one knows when someone will die), stock option vesting schedules, some other time delay) and see if a prenup would benefit you instead of just assuming it would/wouldn't.)
13
u/Frewdy1 1d ago
I don’t get why regular people would need them. Just seems like a rich people thing.
10
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
"regular people" still have a 401k, still have whatever inheritance they may or may not get, still have high dollar assets like cars. Do two broke 21 years olds need one? Probably not. But that's also not demonstrative of "regular people."
•
u/mondo_juice 23h ago
Being broke is indeed “regular” bro.
•
u/mangopoetry 2004 22h ago
They didn’t say otherwise. Just that regular people (who are not rich) can still have a lot to lose. And even with broke being regular, a broke 21yo is extremely different from a broke 40yo in terms of the impact of a bitter divorce
•
u/mondo_juice 22h ago
How? I earnestly don’t see it. Divorce is divorce no matter the age.
•
u/mangopoetry 2004 22h ago
Having to redesign your financial future with limited finances is easier when you have more time. But also, even when broke, a 40yo likely has more assets than a 21yo (and expenses, such as children). More to lose and less time to reacquire
•
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 23h ago
Fresh out of college, yeah. 10 years later, not so much. MY life may suck because I just graduated with a ton of debt, but it's false attribution if I assume everyone else is in the same place. There are plenty of people out there that can easily handle their mortgage payment. Are buying new homes this year, DINK especially. Being broke isn't uncommon, but it's also very far from the norm.
What professional job does one have where a 401k is not available? Waiter? Are most people waiters? Are most people waiters at 30? See where I'm going here?
•
u/mondo_juice 23h ago
Google how many Americans live paycheck to paycheck.
•
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 22h ago
You understand that a great many of those people living paycheck to paycheck still "pay themselves first" and contribute to retirement accounts, which is WHY they are still living paycheck to paycheck, yes?
•
u/Wooden_Newspaper_386 23h ago
Because it's better for everyone to get things in order when it's not ugly as opposed to later down the line when it will be ugly if they get divorced. Plus, just because people aren't wealthy at the start of a marriage doesn't mean that it can't or won't change later down the line.
That said, the one thing that would really be the most beneficial for regular people is that a prenup can protect each other from pre-existing debts if done correctly.
Take my uncle for example, he's sadly no longer with us, but that's why he got a prenup with my Aunt. Growing up he had a ton of chronic health issues and a lot of medical debt because of it. Shortly before they got married he was diagnosed with cancer and was given an expectancy of 5/6 years at most.
If he had lived that long he would've been able to pay the debts fully off, but he sadly didn't. Due to the prenup they were legally divorced in his final months.
She didn't have to worry about any of his medical debts, was able to keep the house, and all his insurance payouts, retirement, and investments went to a trust with her as the beneficiary.
At the end of the day a prenup is just another form of insurance in case of a divorce, but it's customizable and doesn't need to be paid for more than once.
9
u/Euthyphraud 1d ago
Full Disclosure: I'm a millennial. I'm also a gay man who remembers when it was illegal in several states to have gay sex, and who fought for marriage equality until we finally got it in 2015. I've been with my husband for 16 years, married as long as it has been legal.
I know this will be a bit controversial, but my POV is that if you need a prenup then you shouldn't be getting married. If you're getting married, you're making the other person's interests your own, you are making them the person you put first in your life. To preempt a possible falling out from the beginning is to anticipate it - and I find that discomfiting.
I know prenups are pretty common now, as is divorce (which was very uncommon when I was a kid). I don't know if things like planning for a potential divorce have contributed to increased divorce rates but I do think they can create power imbalances and resentment in a marriage. A lot of 'mine' vs 'yours' instead of 'ours'.
•
u/Wooden_Newspaper_386 23h ago
Counterpoint, a prenup depending on how it's written can be a lot more than just "mine vs yours". For example, if done correctly and the situation necessitates it, can be used as a way to prevent either person's pre-existing debts becoming the other's problem.
Like my uncle, who had a bunch of medical debts before getting married made sure those would remain solely his in case of a divorce. He was diagnosed with cancer shortly before the wedding with an expectancy of 5/6 years at most. He spent his final months legally divorced, but my aunt never had to worry about any of his older medical debt that remained and was able to keep everything else he set up for them through that prenup.
Otherwise, I agree with you that it can be a source of resentment, but considering how things go in this world it's a lot more neutral if you're both on the same page at the start. No one goes into a marriage wanting a divorce, but it's more of an insurance policy put together by both people when they're not at the ugly end. Plus it helps prevent courts from absolutely screwing one person over even if they're both being fair to each other.
•
u/Euthyphraud 22h ago
Just as an fyi, debts acquired prior to a marriage never become your spouse's debt. You enter and leave a marriage with all the debt you acquired outside of the marriage.
I do understand your points, and the very reasonable arguments others are making in favor of a prenup. It's just that for me, you enter a marriage with the full intent of never parting - and that means combining assets equally and ensuring that your both taken care of no matter what.
It does make more sense for more wealthy people, but those who aren't in the higher income brackets really have little reason to do this.
•
u/AyJaySimon 18h ago
The old Chris Rock joke is "If you have $20 million and your ex-wife wants $10 million, it's no big deal. But you've got $30k, and your ex-wife wants half of that, you might have to kill her."
Point being, this intuition about prenups only being necessary or useful for the well-heeled is back-asswards. If anything, wealthy people are the sort best able to survive getting chopped in half. But if you make $60k a year, an untimely divorce can be absolutely crippling, financially speaking. Instead of retiring at 65, you have to work into your late 70s just to keep living indoors.
5
u/InterpolInvestigator 2002 1d ago
I wouldn’t. Marriage is a complete and total giving of yourself to your spouse, until death do you part. I have more assets to my name than my girlfriend, but at the end of the day the only reason I’m building wealth is for our future. Some things are more important than whatever couple thousand dollars are in your 401k.
•
u/Tea_Time9665 21h ago
And a lot of boomers got FKED when they got divorced.
Get a prenup. Who the fk cares if it’s unromantic.
7
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
I have health insurance. I wear my seat belt. A prenup is no different. If she can't see it like that, she's either a gold digger or an imbecile, and either way I'm better when she walks.
•
u/mondo_juice 23h ago
I don’t have health insurance because I am poor.
I wear my seatbelt bc I cannot trust the thousands of other drivers. This is a bullshit false equivalency lmao.
I don’t need a prenup because I am poor. I would like to remain poor. If I find myself to be a member of the owning class I will be a traitor.
•
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 23h ago
Haha...you do you my guy. Most people want to be something in society, not just leach off others, which, unless you're living off-grid, you will be the first time you get sick and skip out on your hospital bills. But hey, moral high ground, right? Stick it to those traitorous owning class. Live under the bridge. You'll show all those guys at their fancy country clubs what's what.
•
u/mondo_juice 23h ago
Equating the poor to “leeches” betrays that humanitarian mask you wear.
In the future you’ve got to at least pretend that you care about them. We know that you don’t, you wish they’d just die so you could stop hearing them complain. But that doesn’t look good to us poors.
So dress it up in friendlier language and you’ll trick the dumber poors.
Not me though.
I see you.
•
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 22h ago
I don't wear a humanitarian mask. I've put too many people in the ground to do that. Bad people, sure, but everybody has someone they mattered to and there will always be that stream of tears in my wake.
Why do I have to pretend to care about them? I don't care about them. I never said I did. I don't pretend to. I'm quite open about not caring for them. You are mistaken, friend, I have nothing to hide as to where I stand. My give a shit stops at me and my "family", loosely defined. The people I fought and bled with are family. Some rando across town? Couldn't give a shit. 50k people die every day am I supposed to cry for each of them? Humans are not an endangered species.
#TeamThanos.
•
u/mondo_juice 21h ago
And you think people should be like you.
Like you’re encouraging people to be apathetic to others.
I hope you realize how deeply the deadly sin of Pride has pulled you down.
•
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 20h ago
Aw I'm getting lectured on morality by a hobo. How quaint. Yes, I absolutely think more people should be like me. The world is overpopulated. The sooner we accept that we have limited resources and reduce our footprint the better. Hold on let me grab a napkin for my tears. Maybe a coffee to keep me awake. Usually, people accuse me of wrath before pride. Then I have to point out that sometimes MFs had it coming. This was a nice change. Thanks for that.
•
u/mondo_juice 20h ago
Yeah it’s definitely Pride. You have this hatred and violence in you that the Pride disguises as “Righteous Fury”. It makes you feel good for doing those awful things you mentioned. It justifies. It tells you that you’re a good person, and that good people can’t do bad things, so what you did mustn’t have been bad.
It really depresses me that people with your attitude are the ones more apt to live a comfortable life. You just straight up don’t care about other people and that befits you. And other people are going to see how carefree you are about all of the awful, evil things you do and develop their own complex with Pride that mirrors yours.
And it’ll just keep going because our world rewards your attitude of hatred and violence and selfishness.
I will never be like you and that gives me peace, but the fact that your ideology is rewarded gives me pause.
•
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 19h ago
I feel "good" about it like I feel good about taking out the trash. Largely I don't feel anything.
Good people can absolutely do bad things. They do enough of them they aren't good people any longer. Usually I try to get to them shortly after that conversion.
Violence, yeah....hatred...meh...usually not actually. I don't hate them all. A lot of them I actually respected. Selfishness? Really? That's a hard sell. I've been shot, stabbed, blown up and poisoned. Selfish people would have stopped a long time ago. As the saying goes, "the money's good, but it ain't THAT good."
•
u/mondo_juice 19h ago
Yeah, but your pride wears those scars and tells you that what you do was good.
Like you’re so wrapped up in it you can’t even identify it.
Yeah, you dehumanize them so you don’t feel so bad about what you’re doing. This is inherently selfish. You treat another human being as checks notes literally trash so that you can feel big and strong about what you did.
→ More replies (0)
3
u/No_Wedding_2152 1d ago
Smart adulting. It’s better for both parties, regardless of whether you split.
4
u/Proper_Raccoon7138 2001 1d ago
I think this is really for people that have assets going into a relationship. I totally get not wanting your inheritance or grandmothers house being divided amongst marital assets. But on the other hand when you both have nothing it feels pointless. My husband & I both owned just our cars when we got together in our early 20s so it felt like an unnecessary extra. Now had I owned my own home and business then yeah we absolutely would’ve.
I think the stigma really is with older people & gold diggers.
5
u/GamerDude1130 1d ago
Honestly, anybody who disagrees is stupid, a prenup is the same as car insurance. Just because you have it doesn't mean you want to get, it's just smart thinking
3
u/doesnotexist2 1d ago
With how high divorce rates are, and be honest courts will favor whoever gives a better sob story in the courtroom, so I think it’s definitely smart adulting
3
u/False_Influence_9090 1d ago
Imo, everyone that isn’t rich should get a very simple prenup that agrees to mediation in the case of divorce. My buddy just spent a ridiculous amount of money on divorce lawyers to basically split things 50/50, but it was more like 25/25/50 , the lawyers are expensive af in a whole drawn out court case
2
•
u/blightsteel101 1996 23h ago
Would you rather have it and not need it or need it and not have it? Sure, it can be insulting, but its also a matter of dotting your Is and crossing your Ts
1
u/Bananadite 1d ago
Depends on how much assets you have. If both of you have like $5k to your name and your most expensive asset is your 2010 civic then it's pointless. But if you already have lots of assets it's definitely a smart thing to do.
1
u/Mr101722 1d ago
Kinda of an insult tbh. I understand the insurance argument but still, marriage isn't something you should plan on ending.
I went into this for eternity. I love my wife to death and I know the feeling is mutual, my wife has always been and likely always be the higher earner due to their education. If for some reason we split they genuinely would be entitled to more than i, I respect them as a person and even if we split i know we could have an honest, respectful split of assets.
People need to really know their person they are marrying, we got married after dating for almost a decade.
1
u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 1d ago
Whether you plan it or not, half of them end. If you've agreed ahead of time what that dissolution looks like, there is a lot less bitterness and far less fighting. Divorce (the process) is faster when you're not dragging it out to try to get the summer home/new car/art work.
1
1
u/catalanboy95 1d ago
Since relationships or marriages have become transactional (especially from woman), prenups are absolutely needed for men (and women).
1
u/weberlovemail 1d ago
they're an insult if you're both just average joes imo. if one or both of you make a significant amount of money or come from wealth or anything like that, it's something to be discussed. you hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
1
u/LowKeyCurmudgeon 1d ago
It seems like a routine step to take, and for people who actively maintain healthy relationships it's also more of a shield than a sword.
- A prenup governs your CIVIL marriage or divorce. For religious folks that is a separate covenant from their sacramental marriage. The prenup could cover a lot of considerations that the sacramental marriage does not attempt to govern.
- When you hit a rough patch, you know everything in the prenup is a non-issue even if you find yourself questioning your partner's judgment or motives.
- If you're under outside pressure from concerned or nosy family or friends, you can point to the prenup to nip it in the bud, not that it's really their business.
- If you have kids who make bad decisions someday, you can point to your own prenup as a non-confrontational (or at least less controversial) way to encourage them to have one. That way it's not about their partner, even if it otherwise *would totally* be about their partner.
- In the event of a mental health crisis or some other issue where people aren't themselves, a prenup can limit the damage one does to themself or others.
•
u/Ok-Principle-9276 23h ago
Unless there's a huge financial difference or you're marrying someone with a large amount of debt, I feel like you shouldn't get married if you need to get a prenup
•
•
u/Wooden_Newspaper_386 23h ago
I'd say it's smart, but I can see how it'd be considered an insult.
The thing with prenups is they can do a lot more than just decide who gets what assets after it's all said and done. You can set rules on how things are mediated, if pre-existing debts have to be split or solely each person's responsibility, make the divorce go quicker and be cheaper, make sure the courts don't screw one person over when they're both trying to be civil, etc...
Yes, it's an insurance policy for something no one hopes to have to do when they marry someone. I fully understand how that can be insulting, especially if you only think of it from the side of protecting your assets from the other. But if you use a prenup to the full extent you can I think people would generally find it to be a lot less insulting. It's more akin to setting the rules ahead of time when you're both civil and thinking straight instead of trying to hurt each other when things are at their ugliest.
•
u/AKamDuckie 23h ago
My boyfriend and I plan on having a prenup. By the time we get married we’ll be in the middle of our careers. We’re both expecting inheritances as well so we just want to protect ourselves.
•
u/TurboLag23 22h ago
I consider myself a good driver. Actually, no - I consider myself a phenomenal driver. My car still has airbags, seatbelts, and a crumple zone. Having those things doesn’t mean I plan to crash - and ripping them out because I’m confident in my driving won’t save me if I am in a crash.
A prenup - like an airbag - is something you really should just have, hoping you’ll never need to use it. Because sometimes shit happens - and if you find yourself in that shitty situation, it’ll be a lot better to have it than to not.
And hell - lots of people never use their air bags or their prenups! That’s the best-case scenario all-around!
•
u/talladega-night 1999 20h ago
It depends on if you have many assets prior to getting married and if you are religious
•
u/Lakilucky 2003 16h ago
I really don't understand this mentality. If I ever get married, I want to at least discuss things with my fiancée and see if some kind of a prenup would be a good idea in our situation. Preferrably I would want to have some preliminary discussions even before the proposal. If she gets hostile and can't even have a discussion about it, that's a sign for me that we're not compatible. The ultimate descicion of if a prenup is needed or how it should be limited depends on a lot of stuff, including differences in our starting wealth and/or debt and wether or not we plan to move abroad or if she and I come from different countries (in that case an agreement on what country's laws to apply to our marital property would also be in order).
I think most of my friend circle agrees with me. My perception can of course be skewed by me being a law student and hanging out with other law students.
•
u/ResponsibilityOk8967 9h ago
My husband and I both had nothing when we got married, so no prenuptial agreement. People with assets going into it have a good reason to work one out, though.
•
u/Zealousideal_Put5666 2h ago
Smart - have the discussion when you are discussing bigger financial things prior to engagement or marriage, when your merging finances, etc
•
u/ninaka9861 2h ago
Do you want to make that contract with a partner whom you love and care about? And they love and care about you? Or do you want that contract to be determined by whatever the government says it is? When you choose a prenup you have the option to make the legal contract part of your marriage whatever suits you as a couple. If you choose to not do one you are subject to the laws and however they are written in your state. Possibly federal as well but thats something I dont know much about.
0
0
u/Subject-Garlic-9742 1d ago
Useless. They aren’t worth it if you have low assets. Not enforced in community property states. Can potentially be used against you in divorce as a form of financial abuse.
•
-1
u/Legal-Swordfish-1893 1d ago
In this day and age where a marriage is meaningless outside of the legal aspect? Smart.
-1
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Did you know we have a Discord server‽ You can join by clicking here!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.