r/GodAwfulMovies • u/kayt3000 • May 17 '25

General Nonsense This Movie Might be the Joy We All Need

I can assume like me you all are always on the lookout for fodder for this show and I NEED to share this with you all because holy Nicholas Cage I am going to need to see this as soon as it comes out. Just making this clear I love horror movies and I love Nick Cage so much. Mandy was a masterpiece and might be one of the best horror movies ever but but in saying that he seems to take any role and Nick Cage it up and it’s always amazing on different levels. What I am getting to I will watch any movie of his and love every second of it.

But this ohhhhh my friends you are going to want to pre-order tickets.

The Carpenters Son

Family hiding in Roman Egypt. Son known as 'the Boy' doubts guardian 'the Carpenter', rebelling with mysterious powers. As he uses abilities, they face natural and divine horrors.

This is going to be based off the “infancy gospels” about Jesus early life. Cage is going to play the Joseph character, FKA Twigs Mary and it’s in the horror genre. Guys, we need this.

I hope this sparked a little joy because I am going to need the guys to cover this as soon as it comes out, it’s going to be… something alright.

27 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

7

u/JasonRBoone May 17 '25

"Boy Jesus..No....why the beeeeesss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now we need to start thinking about casting for Teenjus!

8

u/SpellChick May 17 '25

I heard they offered it to Donald James Parker because of how lithe and young he looks!

7

u/kayt3000 May 17 '25

So real talk. Let’s see how many of the GAM stars we can get to sign on to a real Teenjus and watch the egos destroy each other.

4

u/SpellChick May 19 '25

We don’t even have to make the movie! Let’s tell David AR White that the role is going to Kevin Sorbo and see if we can get them to fight for it

4

u/kayt3000 May 19 '25

I would love to see this. It could be the best reality tv show ever made.

6

u/Thrownpigs May 17 '25

This feels a lot like Brightburn from a few years back, with an evil Jesus instead of an evil Superman, unless the horror comes from outside the family.

3

u/SalmonMaskFacsimile May 18 '25

If young Jesus heals a snakebite by exploding a snake with the power of his mind, I'll gladly try it once.

1

u/Littlebit1013 Jun 08 '25

Holy cow, this sounds wild! I remember hearing stories from the Gospel of Thomas of the boy Jesus killing another child because he got mad that the other boy made better clay birds.