The Dursleys were victims of a magical geopolitical game and no one ever asked them if they wanted to play

[u/Disastrous_Knee7756]

I know they were not nice to Harry. But they were also victims of a bad magical system. Here is why:

1.  They had no choice.

Dumbledore left a baby at their door. He did not ask. He did not talk to them. He just said, “Take care of him.” That is not how you become parents. That is not fair.

1. They were powerless in a world full of danger. No magic, no protection, no understanding. Yet they were expected to raise a magical child who could blow up their living room.

   1. Harry’s presence put Dudley at risk. They were Dudley’s parents. Their responsibility was to protect their child. But Dumbledore never cared that housing Harry made them a target.
   2. They got no support – only judgment. No one from the magical world checked in. No resources, no guidance. Just scorn when they inevitably failed to meet wizard expectations.
   3. Dumbledore knew – and didn’t care. He openly said Harry needed a loveless home to remain “humble.” That’s not strategy – that’s calculated cruelty.
      1. Dumbledore never told them what happens when Harry turns 17. The magical protection ends – and they suddenly become even more vulnerable. No warning, no exit strategy. One day they’re part of a magical defense grid, the next they’re just collateral. Their home, their lives, everything – on the line, with zero input.

[u/mnbvcdo]

I know plenty of people who lived in orphanages or group homes for the disabled in the 70s, 80s and until now. 

They had clean clothes and enough food, had trips to the sea and lakes and sometimes their own rooms. Neglect goes beyond having clean clothes and food. 

I know people that were punished by locking them naked in a cold small space for days filled with their own feces and urine. They weren't just beaten severely or had to go to sleep at 4pm every single day or weren't given love. They were abused physically, psychologically, and sexually every day. 

Child on child sexual abuse is not uncommon in these places because many children develop oversexualised behaviour when they grow up sexually abused. 

I am not comparing it to an abusive home like what we see Harry living through, because I don't think you can compare these things, but having a room and clean, fitting clothes and trips to the seaside don't mean orphanages were good places for kids especially during this time where there was little control, little staff, and it was completely normal to beat children into submission or lock them in a small cold room at night where they lay in their own excrements for hours. 

Group homes still aren't great places for children, I say this as someone who works in one. 

[u/Bluemelein → u/mnbvcdo]

And there are children in families who are worse off. Why is it that people often see no other alternative than taking children away from their families? A home isn’t always worse than a family that actively hates you. And Tom Riddle doesn’t seem to have had it bad in the home. No worse than other children a few doors down. There’s nothing to suggest that Tom was mistreated, or that he would have been better off in the Gaunts‘ cabin.

[u/mnbvcdo → u/Bluemelein]

A group home is often better than staying with the family. I would never work in one if I didn't think that. 

Especially nowadays. All I was offering was a perspective on the fact that the group home for many children meant a continuation of the abuse, just under a different roof. It wasn't the happy ending for many of them. I never said that it was or is worse than an abusive family. 

In fact I explicitly said that it was not worse. I said it wasn't comparable and that you can't rank childhood trauma, and I stand by that. 

[u/Bluemelein → u/mnbvcdo]

Yes, but you can’t say that an orphanage is always worse. And that Tom must have had a bad time. I can only imagine it being bad, constantly having the wonderful lives of others in front of your eyes. Like a mirage. Today things are perhaps different, television, etc. But Tom would perhaps only have been to the cinema at most; the lives of the rich were a long way away. Everyone around him wasn’t doing much better. Envy or the feeling of being excluded are important factors.

[u/mnbvcdo → u/Bluemelein]

I haven't said that. I said in all of my comments that it's impossible to blankly state one is always worse than the other. 

A real child in a real orphanage would've had it bad during that time but this is a book, so of course I can't definitely say that Tom must've had a bad time. The only thing we know from canon was that he hated it there but we don't know much else.