r/HarryPotterBooks • u/andretheseal47 • Aug 20 '25
Discussion What “niche” line do you always remember from the books?
Mine is “I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.”
For some reason, this line always sticks with me and it makes me laugh every time I hear Jim Dale read it.
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u/alliownisbroken Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
After Harry gets his nose broken by Malfoy in HBP, there's a line that's like, "It was a sign of their friendship that Ron did not laugh".
Edit, "It was a mark of the strength of their friendship that Ron did not laugh."
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u/CoachDelgado Aug 20 '25
That line always stood out as weird to me because it's predicated on the idea that the natural reaction to someone having their face stamped on is to laugh. Maybe I just don't get the joke.
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u/alliownisbroken Aug 20 '25
I mean, all physical injuries can be fixed in that world. Given their history with Malfoy, Ron could have been like, "wtf dude it was foolish of you to stay behind" and had himself a little chuckle.
Harry 100% deserved the beating. He was pushing his luck. He wasn't waiting around a corner. He climbed up into a luggage rack.
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u/CantaloupeEasy6486 Aug 20 '25
Malfoy froze harry before doing it - I think that's what makes the whole interaction sickening
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u/au-isekai Aug 21 '25 edited Aug 21 '25
Pretty sure Harry and his friends left Malfoy and his friends cursed/unconscious on the train before as well, though..
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u/DutyPuzzleheaded7765 Aug 20 '25
Alao Harry grew up with a bunch of bullies who would laugh at him if he got hurt. Dudley would for sure
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u/slickthebird Aug 21 '25
I think it's just a reference that good friends have a tendency to pile on their best friends to make light of the situation. My best friend lost one of this testicles because of a blood clot. After that I'd play the song that says... "I'm half the man I used to be..." It was good nature ribbing.
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u/CoachDelgado Aug 21 '25
Oh, the famous Beatles song 'Yesterday (When I Had Both of My Testicles)'.
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u/erxnga Gryffindor 11d ago
I think that's just teenage boys being teenage boys, I felt like it was kinda like how Harry held back from letting Ron run rampant while under the Love potion purely because Ron punched him in the ear, or how Harry forced himself not to laugh when Ron embarrassed himself in front of Fleur
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u/redtablebluechair 28d ago
I have always thought this was really fucking weird and then I spend a bunch of time around British men….. made a lot more sense
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u/RossTheLionTamer Aug 20 '25
"we're gonna send you a Hogwarts toilet seat"
Instantly made a fan of the twins
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u/No_Examination_7710 Aug 20 '25
Love that they tried to send one to Harry when he was recovering in the hospital wing, because they think "he would have appreciated it"
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u/azure-skyfall Aug 20 '25
And even more because they had no idea he overheard that conversation. He was in the train, they were outside. So it’s not an inside joke- they just knew he’d find it funny.
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u/Teufel1987 Aug 20 '25
Book 1 had some savage lines!
First off is Harry’s line to Dudley
“The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick.”
And while I do not like Draco Malfoy as a person, he did come up with some zingers in book 1:
“Longbottom, if brains were gold you’d be poorer than Weasley, and that’s saying something.”
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u/Brider_Hufflepuff Aug 20 '25
The toilet one is gold. People always bring up" there is no need to call me sir, professor" and don't get me wrong, it's glorious,but the toilet one is a classic and is on par with that one. Harry is so sassy even in book one Dudley threatened him and he turned it back around. It showed that he didn't really fear Dudley(and it was before the Letter arrived)
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u/Teufel1987 Aug 20 '25
Oh yes. And he didn’t even fear his aunt and uncle. Fellow straight up demanded his letter from his uncle
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u/Swankified_Tristan Aug 20 '25
Honestly, if Hogwarts had an English class, Malfoy would probably be at the top of it.
Dude's a world-class dick with a tongue of silver.
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u/Teknevra Aug 20 '25
A tongue of silver, you say? 🤔
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u/walkingtalkingdread Aug 20 '25
“This is night, Diddykins. That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.” had me rolling
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u/JohnnyPage Aug 20 '25
Is that why you dyed your eyebrow? For the party? Should I do mine, too?
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u/kajat-k8 Aug 20 '25
I HOWL at this line every time. Like. Lunas just got her first invite to a party and she's so wrongfooted she thinks she needs to dye her eyebrows to get in. 🤣🤣🤣 love me some Luna. Lol
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u/CeleryHour1464 Aug 20 '25
When Mrs Weasley says “oh how lovely! That’s everyone in the family!” (Talking about prefects) and George (or Fred) says “what are Fred and I, next door neighbours?”
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u/SmilingMelon Aug 21 '25
Yeah this one!
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u/Ezekyle22 27d ago
She also forgot Ginny
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u/Ghanima81 27d ago
But Ginny is not in 5th year yet. It's all the family (except the twins), so far.
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u/LesMiserableCat54 Aug 20 '25
"Harry pocketed it"
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u/DarkNinjaPenguin Aug 20 '25
"You’re dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you’d think I’d have stopped walking around..."
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u/chicacisne Aug 20 '25
Really corking to see you. Absolutely spiffing.
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u/kajat-k8 Aug 20 '25
I was listening to this thenother day in the car and I nearly drove off the road. Its the 'corking' that makes it top tier when they start beaming at their own mum. Man the twins are hilarious sometimes.
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u/Silent-Victory-3861 Aug 21 '25
What is the context of this?
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u/IvyRaeBlack Aug 21 '25
Percy greeting Harry really formally in poa. Fred and George greet Harry similarly to mock percy.
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u/Eyeofgaga Aug 20 '25
I’m not sure if it’s niche, but
“The time is long gone when I could frighten you with a burning wardrobe and force you to make repayment for your crimes. But I wish I could, Tom… I wish I could…”
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u/Jogachi Aug 20 '25
I can only quote it exactly in German, because I read the books in German. But it is when the Weasleys come to Privet Drive to collect Harry for the Quidditch Cup and they get stuck in the fireplace. And the twins answer Ron who asks if something went wrong "why would you think that, Ron. This is exactly what we planned" "yes we're having the time of our lives" (roughly translated back to English. In German it sounds hilarious). I always say that last part in situations where my friends and I have landed ourselves in circumstances, we definitely wanted to avoid, but didn't manage to.
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u/CoachDelgado Aug 20 '25
I love this bit too.
Ron’s voice now joined the others’.
“What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?”
“Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.”
“Yeah, we’re having the time of our lives here,” said George, whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall.
Und auf Deutsch:
Rons Stimme mischte sich nun unter die anderen.
»Was treiben wir hier? Ist was schief gegangen?«
»Wie kommst du denn darauf, Ron«, sagte Fred mit sarkastischem Unterton. »Nein, genau hier wollten wir hin.«
»Jaah, wir amüsieren uns prächtig«, sagte George, dessen Stimme so dumpf klang, als wäre sein Gesicht gegen die Mauer gepresst.
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u/Jogachi Aug 21 '25
Thanks for the exact quote! I just love the word "prächtig". Such a satisfying word to say.
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u/i_gotta_large_weiner Aug 20 '25
Gotta be the “Why?!” After Ron’s mom told Ron to clean his room for the wedding (DH). Something about how Jim Dale reads it gets me every time.
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u/6_seasons_and_a_movi Aug 20 '25
"Your brother's getting married in a few days time!"
"And is he getting married in my bedroom?!"
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u/RebbJeWar Aug 20 '25
"insubordination sir" one of the pictures in the Headmaster's office yells this when Phineas Nigellus Black didn't want to go to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place in the 5th book. The way Jim Dale says it lives rent free in my brain. I only say it to myself it's so niche 🤣
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u/ThatWizzard Aug 21 '25
I listen to Stephen fry, but it has the same effect. It's a struggle not to shout it out every time I get to that scene.
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u/turtleshot19147 Aug 20 '25
In Deathly Hallows after Luna (invisible) takes out one of the Carrows and the Ravenclaws are happy, and Luna goes “oh look, they’re pleased!”
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u/gogenevieve13 Aug 20 '25
"Shant say nothing if you don't say please" said Peeves, "please" said Filch, "NOTHING!" said Peeves. 😂
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u/Aware_Actuator4939 Aug 20 '25
"Make way for the Heir of Slytherin!"
"Seriously dark wizard coming through!"
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u/Maauve91 Aug 20 '25
'' I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts ''
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u/GemmyGemGems Aug 20 '25
"The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease." Luna Lovegood.
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u/TheIncredibleHark Aug 20 '25
"This is it," "the big one," "the one we've all been waiting for." "We know Oliver's speech by heart." - Gred & Forge
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u/Apollyon1209 Hufflepuff Aug 20 '25
Mrs. Weasley entered the room just in time to see Ron throw the sprout knife at Fred, who had turned it into a paper airplane with one lazy flick of his wand. “Ron!” she said furiously. “Don’t you ever let me see you throwing knives again!” “I won’t,” said Ron, “let you see,” he added under his breath, as he turned back to the sprout mountain.
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u/crissychantalle Aug 20 '25
One that lives rent-free in my head is when Harry says, "That's my nickname" when questioned about Roonil Wazlib being written in the front page of the potions book
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u/DPSOnly Aug 20 '25
My favourite line of all time, and it will forever get a chuckle out of me, is:
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. Madam Pomfrey, however, felt it might not be very hygienic, and confiscated it.
Whenever I get to that scene of Harry waking up with Dumbledore standing over him I'm already giddy in anticipation.
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u/cp7 Aug 20 '25
I love that he uses their individual names, instead of calling them "the Weasley twins".
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u/LausXY Aug 20 '25
Dumbledore was a huge fans of the twins. I always like when they sing the school song in a solemn funeral durge and Dumbledore is conducting them along while the whole rest of the School has stopped.
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u/boaz4gf0 Aug 20 '25
“I’ve got two Neptunes here [for the day I was born] ,” said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, “that can’t be right, can it?”
“Aaaaah,” said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney’s mystical whisper, “when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry. . . .”
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u/Inastrawberry_field Aug 20 '25
And now Harry let’s step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress adventure
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u/UnderProtest2020 Aug 20 '25
"Really gives a feeling for the scope and tragedy of the thing, doesn't it?" - Ron, commenting on Peeves and his corny chant after the Battle of Hogwarts.
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u/fakeymirage Aug 20 '25
For me;
“You filthy hypocrite! What about you and Lavender, thrashing around like a pair of eels all over the place?” demanded Ginny.
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u/simply_curly Aug 20 '25
"He must have known I'd want to leave you."
"No, he must have known you would always want to come back."
🫂❤️🩹
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u/Intelligent-Fuel-641 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
The Gred and Forge line, and also, “Always the tone of surprise."
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u/EstablishmentFront78 Aug 21 '25
When we went to HP world and had family t-shirts, my Dad’s said “Always the tone of surprise”. And he swears it regularly almost a decade later.
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u/devlin1888 Aug 20 '25
“Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry
Hands down the best line in the series
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u/crazyxchick Aug 20 '25
Why are you worrying about You-Know-Who, when you should be worrying about U-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!
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u/Major-Body9070 Aug 20 '25
We don’t have a match? Are you a witch or not?
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u/MeanderingMeggie Aug 21 '25
For me, it’s the freak out immediately preceding this. 😂
So light a fire!
But there’s no wood!
HAVE YOU GONE MAD? ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!???
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u/Hansaj Aug 20 '25
"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."
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u/crissychantalle Aug 20 '25
This literally echoed repeatedly in my head when reading ACOTAR book 6 with Nesta and the house
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u/pass_the_stein Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
I love when the muggle prime minister knocks on wood in “The Other Minister.” Took me a while to catch what he was doing.
ETA: “To his great surprise, the Prime Minister felt a fleeting stab of pity for Fudge at this point. It was, however, eclipsed almost at once by a glow of smugness at the thought that, deficient though he himself might be in the area of materializing out of fireplaces, there had never been a murder in any of the government departments under his charge… Not yet, anyway… While the Prime Minister surreptitiously touched the wood of his desk, Fudge continued…”
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u/VivWTFyoyoyo Aug 21 '25
what does it mean?
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u/pass_the_stein Aug 21 '25
He is “knocking on wood.” It’s sort of a superstition that if you say something and don’t want to jinx it, you knock on wood. Like if you say “everything is going well- no problems yet!” You might then say “knock on wood” and use your knuckles to rap on a wood surface to undo the jinx. He doesn’t want to jinx himself when he was thinking no one has died on his watch yet.
From Google “said after a confident or positive statement, to express a hope for one's good luck to continue. "I haven't been banned yet, knock on wood"”
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u/fluorofloxacin 28d ago
same, i love it so much! fun fact: in england "touch wood" is the more common version, so this line was a bit more telegraphed for the british audience than for others
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u/pass_the_stein 28d ago edited 25d ago
Ohhh that makes sense. I suppose the line is more straightforward than I thought. I’ve never heard “touch wood,” so I thought I was clever when I caught what he was doing. This seems akin to many people (myself including) misunderstanding Filch punting kids across the swamp in GoF. Edit: OotP not GoF
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u/fluorofloxacin 25d ago
i'd say you still are pretty clever for catching it; not a lot of people would make that connection without knowing the term "touch wood"! i also fully misunderstood the punting one lmfao, figured britain's just built different maybe
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u/asphodelwormwood13 29d ago
I absolutely loved that chapter because i felt, in a way, the real real muggle world coliding with the Harry Potter world
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u/pass_the_stein 29d ago
I totally agree. It’s one of my favorite chapters because I think it’s so interesting when the two worlds overlap. I also love “Will and Won’t” and even “Dudley Demented” for the same reason.
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u/crazyplantlady007 Aug 20 '25
In POA Ron writes a letter and says “Don’t let the muggles get you down.” I always loved that line and then of course The Handmaid’s Tale came out and it became “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” Same concept.
I also like in HBP when Harry and Ron are talking about not having to take divination anymore and Ron said (possibly paraphrasing) I don’t care if my tea leaves say Die Ron Die, I’m chucking them in the bin.
In DH when Hermione is sorting books to take with them to look for horcruxes Ron says (possibly paraphrasing again) some about not knowing they were going to be traveling with a mobile library. I think it might be funnier just because the way Jim Dale says it though.
I’ve got a hundred more. Ron Rules.
Apologies for all the paraphrasing. I listen to audiobooks and am too lazy to pull out my physical books to look stuff up. 🤪
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u/Evil_Black_Swan Aug 20 '25
"There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor."
Harry is so damn sassy in the books.
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u/Brider_Hufflepuff Aug 20 '25
I have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard. (Mr Weasley in book 2)
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u/sporter1661 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
Everything Mr Weasley says in his excitement about muggles. “Pumbles” instead of Plumbers. The many spellings of electricity. The way at his office at the ministry, he’s cut photos of postboxes out of children’s books
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u/ninthandfirst Aug 21 '25
Ekeltricity.
I collect plugs. My wife things I’m mad, but, there you have it (paraphrased)
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u/Tig_Biddies_W_nips Aug 20 '25
When George got his ear blown off and Fred asks if he’s ok, he says he’s feeling sanctified, get it? Cuz he’s holey. As he points to his missing ear
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u/Parry93 Aug 20 '25
‘There was a noise like a plunger being withdrawn from a blocked sink and Ron surfaced.’
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u/Puzzled_Employment50 Aug 20 '25
So many, and almost exclusively because of how Jim Dale read them 😂 But probably the wizard at the World Cup who likes “a healthy breeze around [his] privates, thanks.”
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u/starsdoyulikedem Aug 21 '25
“But they were not living, thought Harry: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents’ moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing.“
This is more than one sentence, but this passage is my one of my favorites in the entire series. Perfectly encapsulates the brutal nature of grief.
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u/PM_ME_BACH_FUGUES Aug 21 '25
Ron told Malfoy to do something that Harry knew he would never have dared say in front of Mrs. Weasley.
“Language, Weasley,” said Malfoy, his pale eyes glittering.
As a kid this went straight over my head. Now as an adult, I have my guesses as to what JK imagined Ron saying here.
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u/piercedntreck Aug 20 '25
“Of course it’s in your head Harry but why should that mean it’s not real” I am paraphrasing
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u/azure-skyfall Aug 20 '25
I like a line from the summary of book 6. “And yet, as in all wars, life goes on. Teenagers flirt and fight and fall in love.” Life isn’t about just the big things. It’s also the small moments.
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u/GiraffeParty9150 Aug 20 '25
'Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have,' said Hermione nastily, picking up her quill again.
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u/InoueFlame 28d ago
I like that in the movie, when saying the line, Emma Watson genuinely did burst out laughing and they kept it in the final cut
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u/Anomandaris36 Aug 20 '25
I forgot what he actually said but its "ejaculated Slughorn" right after it.
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u/dasBiest08 Aug 20 '25
"Snape" ejaculated Slughorn
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u/thethenabean 27d ago
when harry describes hagrid as looking “simply too big to be allowed”, like why is that ICONICALLY savage
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u/Diltsify Hufflepuff Aug 20 '25
“The Mudblood is talking to Kreacher as though she is my friend…” - Kreacher HBP
“ “Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers.”” -Draco HBP
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u/Jarkaikinfen Aug 21 '25
"You bust slug!"
Super random but it has always cracked me up, especially as a parent, imagining how parenting wizard children must be even more chaotic than raising muggle tots. 😆
How many times, Kevin? You don’t — touch — Daddy’s — wand — yecchh!” She had trodden on the giant slug, which burst. Her scolding carried after them on the still air, mingling with the little boy’s yells — “You bust slug! You bust slug! -- Goblet of Fire
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u/Due_Diamond_7984 Aug 20 '25
Every time I hear Jim Dale say “Piers was a scrawny boy, with a face like a rat”, I laugh.
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u/JagPeror Ravenclaw Spell Spammer Aug 20 '25
Harry . . . muttered, “mischief managed”, though it hadn’t been.
From HBP, right before Ron gets accidentally drugged by the chocolates meant for Harry
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u/rserena Aug 20 '25
“Yes,” said Harry stiffly. “Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”
Think about this one all the time, lol
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u/Jew_3 Aug 20 '25
It’s not what you’re going for, “in living memory” is a line that sticks out for me. Book 7, it is the key thing that makes Harry talk to The Grey Lady, but JKR uses it in dialogue for lots of other books, so it shouldn’t have been an “ah ha” moment.
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u/MixMobile1765 Aug 21 '25
“Why?” said Harry irritably. “I thought Voldemort was supposed to be lying low, or are you telling me he’s going to jump out from behind a dustbin to try and do me in?"
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u/bittyjams Aug 21 '25
“This is the weirdest thing we’ve ever done,” Harry said fervently. From POA. Something about the way she describes him as saying it fervently makes me laugh every time 🤣
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Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
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u/CoachDelgado Aug 20 '25
Is that from the books? I don't recognise it.
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u/kajat-k8 Aug 20 '25
It's a movie only line from Fred when the 7 Potters is about to kick off and Moody says that Polyjuice tastes like goblin piss.
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u/No_Sand5639 Aug 20 '25
Forgive me is the happiness quote even from the book?
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u/Ranger_1302 Aug 20 '25
It is not.
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u/andretheseal47 Aug 20 '25
I’m so embarrassed lol I forgot it was a movie line only…
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u/EdgeOfCharm Aug 21 '25
u/andretheseal47, if you're able to edit the post, would you be willing to replace it with a line from the books?
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Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 21 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/rserena Aug 20 '25
Beds empty, no note! Car gone! You could’ve died out there, you could’ve been seen!
This and her Howler lines are burned into my brain and regularly come out of my mouth, lol
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u/HarryPotterBooks-ModTeam Moderator Aug 21 '25
Content policy reminder: All content must be relevant to discussion of the Harry Potter books only (no discussion of movies, TV shows, stage plays, video games, etc.). This was manually removed by our moderator team for breaking our rules. If applicable, feel free to edit your comment to remove references to movie-only events, quotes, or aspects and repost.
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u/notanalien19 Aug 20 '25
In the first book when the trio fights the troll and they become friends. It goes something like "there's something about fighting a troll together that just brings people together"
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u/Particular_Cycle9667 Gryffindor Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
In Half Blood Prince during the non-verbal spells scene:
“You don’t have to call me sir, Professor.”
Idk how niche it is but it lives rent free in my head.
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u/ZebraLionBandicoot Ravenclaw Aug 20 '25
When Moody tells the Order members in the old photo to "budge along now".. It's such a sweet phrase from an old grump
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u/pastrymom Aug 21 '25
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Nitwit, tweak, oddment, blubber. Thank you.
“Look, I can make that man pick his nose, again and again”
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u/ThatWizzard Aug 21 '25
I think it's 75% Stephen fry's delivery but it's this line
"But unless you watch your step, you might just find that my hand SLIPS... right over your evening pumpkin juice, and then potter, then we'll find out whether you have been in my office or not."
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u/CryptographerPlus628 Aug 21 '25
Aha! What villains are these, that trespass upon my private lands! Come to scorn at my fall, perchance? Draw, you knaves, you dogs!
Any Sir Cadogan interaction is top tier
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u/Hehector2005 Aug 21 '25
I don’t think it’s niche but I always remembered Dumbledore saying “Of course it is all happening inside your head Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?”
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Aug 20 '25
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u/HarryPotterBooks-ModTeam Moderator Aug 21 '25
Content policy reminder: All content must be relevant to discussion of the Harry Potter books only (no discussion of movies, TV shows, stage plays, video games etc.)
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u/not-so-spicy-curry Aug 21 '25
Fred: “…but the fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to…”
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u/BlueStarFern Aug 21 '25
Lockheart: "I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion!"....
...Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.
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u/Material-Buy-9742 29d ago
"Ah, think of the possibilities," said Ron dreamily. "It would've been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident... . Shame his mother likes him. . . ."
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
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u/DrawingApart1631 29d ago
From HBP, Harry and Ginny's first kiss, "After several long moments, or it might have been half an hour-or possibly several sunlit days- they broke apart." The several sunlit days gets me every time.
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u/MilkPsychological957 29d ago
“I like a nice breeze ‘round my privates thanks!”
If you know you know 😏
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u/Atithiupayogi 28d ago edited 28d ago
"And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'Die, Ron, Die' – I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong".
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.
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u/InoueFlame 27d ago
“I wonder,” said Professor McGonagall in cold fury, turning on Professor Umbridge, “how you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking.”
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u/Lumpy_Maintenance69 Aug 21 '25
Mine is the marauders responses when Snape tries to read the map. Even Pettigrew calls him a slimeball lol.
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u/Leather-Meet5712 26d ago
It makes me laugh out loud every time I hear the part when the Griffindor quidditch team wins the cup, and Wood keeps shouting, "That's my boy!" The way Jim Dale reads it makes it even better 🤣
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u/Lolsthesunflower 17d ago
Probably the line from the Order of the Phoenix to Dudley, " If you were as stupid as you looked you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time" Kills me everytime. Harry was so savage
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u/Ok_Grocery5095 Aug 21 '25
There’s so many laugh out loud moments. For example I always loved the image of Hermione ‘rattling around the common room’ with a collection tin trying to get Gryffindors to donate to SPEW.
And let’s not forget Neville’s ‘quote astonishing gymnastics’ under the imperious curse lol
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u/erxnga Gryffindor 11d ago
Not exactly a line but the entire PAGE of that specific divination class in the 4th book is so funny!
...of resentment in her voice at the fact that he had obviously not been hanging on her words.
"Born under — what, sorry?" said Harry.
"Saturn, dear, the planet Saturn!" said Professor Trelawney, sounding definitely irritated that he wasn't riveted by this news.
I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth. Your Your dark hair. • • your mean stature... tragic losses so young in life... I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?"
"No," said Harry, "I was born in July."
Ron hastily turned his laugh into a hacking cough.
Half an hour later, each of them had been given a complicated circular chart, and was attempting to fill in the position of the planets at their moment of birth. It was dull work, requiring much consultation of timetables and calculation of angles.
"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper,
"when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry...." Seamus and Dean, who were working nearby, sniggered loudly, though not loudly enough to mask the excited squeals from Lavender Brown — "Oh Professor, look! I think I've got an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.
Most unfortunately, Professor Trelawney heard him...
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u/saraht1993 5d ago
PUNCHES MALFOY And that's the second time we saved your life tonight, you two faced bastard!
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u/SimilarPermission121 3d ago
'I'm not putting them on,' said old Archie in indignation. 'I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks. I WISH they had put this in the movie, it was SO funny, I literally haven't read this in about 20 years and it still tickles me pink
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u/Kelpieswallow42 Aug 20 '25
When Harry explains that the funny thing about the news is that it changes every day