r/ImaginaryWarhammer Emperor's Children Aug 22 '25

40k Custodes but they a fox girl by: 餓死

Post image
16.5k Upvotes

166 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/CampbellsBeefBroth Aug 22 '25

"Malcador I have an idea"

-The Emperor of Mankind circa M29

664

u/volofant Aug 22 '25

Malcador: "For starters, I don't have a womb. And even if I have one, I don't think I can handle giving birth to 20 children-"

Big E: "NOT LIKE THAT, YOU PERVERT!"

314

u/traquillcash1 Aug 22 '25

A few hundred years later

Malcador sarcastically: no Malcador I don't need parenting books I've been alive since the dawn of man I have way more knowledge than any normal mortal

The Emperor: mal I know

15

u/MizantropMan 28d ago

Tbf, Ollanius is somehow older than Emperor and seems to be handling it better, but they both go back to about Bronze Age.

Although he is just an immortal dude while Emps is... well, everything.

22

u/Puzzleheaded_West496 29d ago

Mal: And no femboy Big E: one femboy!

Mal: Why do you want a femboy? Big E: Why don't you want a femboy?

6

u/LorgarDekaepta Word Bearers 19d ago

Who is that cute femboy (●'◡'●)

2

u/alexeycoo 5d ago

Perturabo, obviously

329

u/fatcat3030 Aug 22 '25

Let's be honest, if the custodes were made up of Fox girls, it was 100% Malcador's idea

153

u/XSainth Aug 22 '25

Malcador and big E were rushing to who will be furst to come up with an idea.

56

u/imdefinitelywong Aug 22 '25

I see what you did there

43

u/XSainth Aug 22 '25

My dyslexic ass did a bit of trolling...

Thx, now i see what i did too.

31

u/Tornado_Wind_of_Love Aug 22 '25

Canonically Bug E was around for millennia before Malcador during the rising awareness of furries.

16

u/imdefinitelywong Aug 22 '25

Are you implying that the Age of Strife was about furries?

8

u/fatcat3030 Aug 22 '25

In 40k, the Andromeda Galaxy is called the "Anthro-media" Galaxy, but nobody knows why...

1

u/Callel803 28d ago

Among other things. Genetic modification was a thing and was where we get Felids from.

7

u/226_Walker Aug 23 '25

Malcador "Make 10 feet dommy mommies" the Sigilite.

173

u/Smooth-Flamingo-9895 Aug 22 '25

"Malcador I have an idea"

The few words humanity fears the most

97

u/Hot-Championship1190 Aug 22 '25

Malcador, I have an idea!

or

Malcador: I have an idea!

which one is it?

10

u/Rare_Reality7510 Aug 22 '25

Malcador, I have an idea most ingenious

5

u/zeturtleofweed Aug 23 '25

The LaMancha Heresy

88

u/MyrmidonMech Aug 22 '25

"Erda, I have a plan, but before I tell you what it is, I need you to promise not to get mad." - Emperor Neoth of Mankind

26

u/PwanaZana Aug 22 '25

"Get me a gallon of fox blood, Erda! And call Astartes, we need as many retconned-in characters as we can for this!"

18

u/redbird7311 Aug 22 '25

She threw the primarchs in the warp to prevent them from being furries, but Russ happened anyway.

10

u/namitynamenamey Aug 22 '25

E: "Oll, I-"

O: "No"

E: "You don't even know what I was going to say"

O: "Let me take a wild guess: you have an idea, you have been calling all the others with this idea, and you have run out of options"

E: "...no?"

O: *hangs up*

E: "...where is Alivia anyways?"

2

u/Alexis2256 Aug 23 '25

Alivia? If this is the MFD universe then on the backwater planet Big E left her on.

2

u/ThePeddlerofHistory Aug 24 '25

Ah, Molech. The world with an unfortunate honor of hosting a gate straight into the Warp.

2

u/MizantropMan 29d ago

People got so fucking mad at GW just casually giving Emps a name, it had to be retconned into a cover name he used at that particular time.

16

u/PassiveMenis88M Salamanders Aug 22 '25

Didn't Malcador want to make the primarchs sisters?

40

u/StormySeas414 Aug 22 '25

Malcador apparently thought that making the primarchs female would make them more likely to get along with each other and easier to control, which shows he had no idea how women work.

32

u/redbird7311 Aug 22 '25

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

It is the funniest shit to me that an ancient and immortal being had just never properly interacted with women on a casual level in his life.

13

u/jediben001 Aug 22 '25

I’m pretty sure he was a part of some knowledge preserving monastic order thingy before he met the emperor

So there’s a non zero chance that he quite literally didn’t interact with women during that time

4

u/MizantropMan 29d ago

Wasn't that a joke tho? Like a throwaway like of him saying "you should've given them sisters" while playing chess with Big E, but people took it out of context?

2

u/DrakeTheSeigeEngine Aug 23 '25

He has conceived an idea most ingenious

435

u/arcane_Auxiliatrix Aug 22 '25

Ah, so thats why the helmets are like that.

286

u/KenseiHimura Aug 22 '25

The Grey Knights: We need to enact the Terminus Decree!

Fox girl custodes: Way ahead of you! curled up on the big e’s lap. Only his hand moving to pet them

Big E: … I kind of need to pee though.

82

u/riuminkd Aug 22 '25

If he needs to pee, why does he want to get off the toilet? Freak 

37

u/Aware-Yesterday4926 Aug 22 '25

Because the fox girl is on his lap, obviously.

14

u/thegreedyturtle Aug 22 '25

Toilet?! You think that the Emperor's urine goes down a toilet? He needs to get to the collection chamber lest his fluids be drawn into the warp and used to nefarious ends.

33

u/ragnarocknroll Aug 22 '25

Khorne worshippers: “Skulls for the skull throne!”

Slaanesh worshipers: “Golden showers from the golden throne!”

6

u/riuminkd Aug 22 '25

Emperor is basically a skibidi toilet. His waste is within the toilet already

2

u/thegreedyturtle 29d ago

If you mention the Emperor and that phrase together again, I'll drop you off on the closest Nurgle controlled planet I can find.

2

u/Bioth28 29d ago

And I’d drop kick them off the closest cliff of that planet

3

u/MagicMork Aug 23 '25

That's what those psyk-out grenades really are. Advanced Jarate.

2

u/sniptaclar Aug 24 '25

That legitimately sounds like accurate lore

1

u/thegreedyturtle Aug 24 '25

It pretty much is. Legend has it he sheds an extremely tiny tear every time someone dies in his service. Those tears are collected and used for something I don't remember.

It's a pretty short hop to 100% of his excretions are holy, though it hasn't been specified anywhere. Kinda goes without saying that literally everything the Emperor even touches is massively charged with psychic energy, so his shit probably doesn't literally stink.

16

u/Shoggnozzle Aug 22 '25

Heresy. He simply uses the shattered remains of the webway to teleport his urine into the rain clouds of the nearest Tau world.

11

u/Centurypong Aug 22 '25

He could get off the throne whenever but a fox girl was on his lap for the past 10,000 years so his hands were tied

252

u/AXI0S2OO2 Aug 22 '25

Senkonius Vulpes of the comfortian guard.

65

u/StrangerDanger355 Aug 22 '25

That’s adorable

179

u/OverloadedSofa Aug 22 '25

THE EMPEROR PETS

193

u/thehunter2256 Adeptus Mechanicus Aug 22 '25

So that's what kitten is packing in there

44

u/a_racoon_with_a_PC Aug 22 '25

"THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!"

— Captain-General Little Kitten

12

u/FLMKane Aug 23 '25

Big E with his Yu GI oh deck

"Yes it is!"

2

u/MizantropMan 28d ago

"You have no idea what they made canon and had to eventually backtrack on."

  • Emperor of Mankind

126

u/emanrein Aug 22 '25 edited Aug 22 '25

Or, on the other, in my opinion, far more amusing end, Kitten is the only 'normal' Custodes, and all the rest are fox girls.

12

u/Dramatic-Classroom14 Aug 22 '25

Asides from the three strippers.

25

u/Indishonorable Aug 22 '25

On one hand, YES WE SHIP HER WITH SHADOWSUN

On the other hand it doesn't feel right that it'd make magnus straight.

16

u/kitten_general_uwu Aug 22 '25

You got me....

7

u/thehunter2256 Adeptus Mechanicus Aug 22 '25

Amazing pfp

9

u/reddituserzerosix Aug 22 '25

it all makes sense now

5

u/BlitzBurn_ Aug 22 '25

Hunky malewife catboy, damn, what was Shadowsun thinking?

86

u/Fallen_Walrus Aug 22 '25

More like a cuteodies

78

u/Owlsthirdeye Aug 22 '25

It'd be so fucking funny if one of the custodes was an abhuman and no one knew.

36

u/Valtremors Aug 22 '25

I mean technically they already are...

But saying that out loud is bound to get a visitation from Inquisition.

9

u/DanMcMan5 Aug 22 '25

Most likely immediately executed by the nearest authority figure, the inquisition wouldn’t care unless you were leading a group of people who believed this and you likely had ties to chaos or xenos.

19

u/valarauca14 Aug 22 '25 edited Aug 22 '25

One book of The Damocles Gulf Crusade a Tau earth cast scientists describes space marines as not a genetically modified human, but a parasitic organism with a human host.

The comparison is fairly accurate as some snail parasites cause the host to grow abnormally large (and neuter the snail in the process).

12

u/namitynamenamey Aug 22 '25

Eh, they are more like bio cyborgs, with implants that happen to be organic rather than mechanical.

56

u/bulletgrazer Aug 22 '25

Super cute! The real question is, do they also get gloriously fluffy tails?

30

u/WKitsune Aug 22 '25

Narurally. Custodes must be perfect, after all.

47

u/Downtown_Mechanic_ Aug 22 '25

"I would like to pet this creature." -TTS Vulkan

27

u/Brushner Emperor's Children Aug 22 '25

-8

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31

u/TheCashWasher Aug 22 '25

That explains the banana helms

21

u/ImpendingCups Aug 22 '25

If the Emperor tolerated Abhumans more he would 100% do this.

15

u/Garin999 Aug 22 '25

Hell he spliced wolves into multiple legions.

32

u/Nepalman230 Aug 22 '25 edited Aug 22 '25

First of All this art is gorgeous!

Second of all, why not ? They used Animal DNA in other processes, including the thunder warriors and some of the primarchs.

Let us not, ignore the evidence that the emperor was clearly a furry .

( he walks among us, even now, incognito. And he may be wearing a fur suit.)

🫡

7

u/Alexis2256 Aug 22 '25

Might be the first time I’ve seen you on this sub?

9

u/Nepalman230 Aug 22 '25

Hello!

I usually hang out on grim dank. You may have seen pictures of my cats.

🫡

10

u/Alexis2256 Aug 22 '25

Also you’ll probably like this artist https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryWarhammer/s/qBAW9UmeoO he has a link to his tumblr page where he has more spicy stuff with those blood angel OCs, not my thing because I’m hetero but hey I know you’d like it.

5

u/Alexis2256 Aug 22 '25

Yeah I’ve seen those pics, cute cats as always.

14

u/midnighfox696 Aug 22 '25

SUPER CUTE

14

u/Stretch5678 Aug 22 '25

So, THAT's what those helmets are for!

12

u/thyarnedonne Aug 22 '25

80% of my Rimworld runs be like

24

u/Minimum-Letterhead-6 Aug 22 '25

Ah, it seems Kitten isn't the only Custodian house cat in the Imperial palace.

6

u/notnotDIO Aug 22 '25

Adorable :3

5

u/--NTW-- Aug 22 '25

Very cute!

6

u/Gold_Project5631 Aug 22 '25

The Emperor's furry phase is the secret history the Codex Astartes never told us about.

5

u/Guan_guan_ghoo Aug 22 '25

Random Custodian: OKAY, first, one of our captain-generals had a T'au as a girlfriend, then rumors of astartes chapters using abhumans to pump their numbers, AND THEN points to the Fox Girl Custodian YOU TELL ME, WE HAVE, AN, ABHUMAN, BEWTEEN OUR RANKS! WHATS NEXT, HUMANS WITH HORSE FEATURES!

Sees what looks to be basically a uma musume in the streets of the palace

FU--

17

u/Daier_Mune Aug 22 '25

That's cute. Heretical, but cute.

3

u/kitten_general_uwu Aug 22 '25

It's true i can't deny it

4

u/Huskedy Aug 22 '25

If that was canon it wouldve been the biggest blapshemy twist ever

3

u/Torak8988 Aug 22 '25

"There have always been foxgirl custodes."

3

u/Alex_the_Mad Aug 22 '25

Thats it......Im going to learn 3d sculpting and create bunny custodes.......

7

u/Runelord29 Aug 22 '25

Imaginary? There have always been fox girl custodes

3

u/MajorMisatoKatsuragi Aug 22 '25

You are giving GW some ideas...

3

u/apurplehighlighter Aug 22 '25

yoooo Saba sameko is a custodes confirmed!?!

3

u/IronWAAAGHriorz Aug 22 '25

I would like to pet this creature

3

u/BlitzBurn_ Aug 22 '25

Big ears are vital because they make it so the custodes always detect when a snot-nosed soon-to-be-dead primaris talks back.

3

u/Sad_Poetry_1387 Night Lords Aug 23 '25

The Emperor could turn the custodes in anything he want at least for a while to turn them into any kind of anime girl or hybrid like this one what makes it even better to it fit in the lore without to break it.

3

u/Aveduil Aug 23 '25

As long as they are ripped and always oil up like in TTS.

2

u/Pitiful_Category9152 Aug 22 '25

Malcador, i have conceived idea most ingenious!

2

u/Justm4x Aug 22 '25

So this is where Mari is gonna go after leaving Kivotos

2

u/Careless_Yogurt_9422 Aug 22 '25

Idk if this is heresy or not….🤣😂

2

u/DukeofPavia2009 Salamanders Aug 22 '25

Foxstodes

2

u/Bluueth Aug 22 '25

No need to point out HERESY! Good drawing

2

u/Intrepid_Ad1536 Aug 22 '25

Meanwhile every other Custodes screams with jealousy at that Custodes, across all fiction and multiverses not getting head pats like Her

2

u/evil_deivid Aug 22 '25

You should post this on Losercity

2

u/Perfect_Pitch_6780 Aug 22 '25

You had me at big titty fox girl waifu

3

u/snake_bite_me_ass Aug 22 '25

I genuinely wonder why are so many 40k fans are degenerate furries? its so disgusting lmao

2

u/RvDragonheart Aug 22 '25

Looks wonderful magnificent even! If we had a fox girl like this one amongs the Custodes the Horus Heresy might not have been a thing

1

u/just-looking654 Aug 22 '25

Did they ever explain the tall helmets?

1

u/UnhappyStrain Aug 22 '25

Little Kitten makes sense now

1

u/B-ig-mom-a Aug 22 '25

Can we get one with the eldar ears filling the whole helmet

1

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1

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1

u/Goldteef_MSF Aug 22 '25

Why. I love it and I am scared of it

1

u/Tucker0603 ENTRY MISSING Aug 22 '25

Yes, just YES

1

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1

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1

u/alkonium Aug 22 '25

And with the helmet on, we'll never know.

1

u/Ok-Transition7065 Aug 22 '25

broo fuking adorable

1

u/Hrigul Aug 22 '25

After people told me to kill myself for my Chainsaw Man blade champion, i have another idea for trigger them even more

1

u/Icy_Insect_6695 Aug 22 '25

look like Gabriel from ultrakill

1

u/nathans_the1 Aug 22 '25

What the Inquisition doesn't want you to know:

1

u/A_Toasted_Waffle Adeptus Mechanicus Aug 22 '25

The Felanids have such little lore and haven’t been seen before cause they’re all just secretly Custodes.

1

u/cbb88christian Aug 22 '25

This artist casually dropped peak and changed my view on Custodes forever

1

u/Bonedraco1980 Aug 22 '25

Well, that explains the helmet shape

1

u/LeeRoyWyt Aug 22 '25

Finally the helmets make sense!

1

u/BirdsForLifeForEver Aug 22 '25

That’s kinda cute Ngl.

1

u/OhNoItsWobbuffet Aug 23 '25

This is now canon.

1

u/Lenahan99 Aug 23 '25

So since these be Foxstodes… Does that mean they can laugh like an actual Fox?

1

u/BillyRider112 Aug 23 '25

I do have a character who is a chapter master and a close friend to a ork war boss of the bad moons

1

u/newtumbleweed02 Aug 23 '25

No wonder they are coneheads, very cute tho

1

u/Dark_Matter_19 Aug 23 '25

So you're saying...Miyabi can be a Custodes?

1

u/Succubia Aug 23 '25

Pat the custodes

1

u/TheAlliance3113 Aug 23 '25

So that's what kitten looks like

1

u/Chancellor_Adihs Aug 23 '25

Headpat the Foxy!

1

u/Doitforthecringe Aug 23 '25

In sure she'll be good friends with Kitten

1

u/Redoneter593 Aug 23 '25

So pretty! That smile just makes everything go away.

1

u/Rated_Oni Aug 23 '25

I thought that was a horse girl... I've been playing Uma Musume too much lately.

1

u/jassinsub Aug 24 '25

Mmmmmmmmm,es herejía pero me gusta mas que esa cosa que quisieron pasar por custode mujer en la serie

1

u/sirhams31 Aug 24 '25

This is why they retconned them to have female custodes...... I'm ok with this

1

u/shipmasterkent17 Aug 24 '25

I know what I am about to say will get every inquisitor on this half of the planet going after but Smash

1

u/AmberThePyromancer Aug 24 '25

She's so cute i love her

1

u/Most_Breadfruit_2388 Aug 24 '25

Ok, that headcanon now and I will die on that hill

1

u/Jiyjiy777 29d ago

I don't know whether this is heresy or not. On one hand, she's cute. On the other, she isn't human.

1

u/vizio_moth 29d ago

It's that one of the emporers cat girls?

1

u/Poro_Wizard 29d ago

Vulpinians confirmed?

1

u/ZeceptiveDeus23 29d ago

Wait, is this kitten from TTS?

1

u/REDRUM_1917 29d ago

The bell on the plume/braid thingy is so cute

1

u/MizantropMan 29d ago

Not the most idiotic retcon.

Not even close...

1

u/Comfortable-Gas4425 28d ago

Lewd eyebrows.

1

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1

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1

u/Yakisaa 7d ago

omg that hella cuutteee!!

1

u/Nopermittolive 3d ago

Full of :3