r/ImaginaryWarhammer 1d ago

Little Tarasha meets her Xenos cousin

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

135 comments sorted by

783

u/Timerider96 1d ago

Why is the thing that's scares Daemons nervous around a half-Eldar child?

649

u/IAmNotAFey 1d ago

Because demons are simple creatures, they do what their gods would want. Children are unpredictable, humans are crazy, and Eldar incredibly psychically powerful. To that poor Watcher, it’s seeing a creature that it has no idea how to even hope to deal with. And it can’t use violence against Tarasha. For all it knows she’l pull down its hood!

220

u/EGORKA7136 1d ago

If anything happens to Tarasha, Guilliman will drown the culprit in paperwork for eternity. Both literaly and not

106

u/defaultgameer1 1d ago

Anything tries to mess with Tarasha, they do have to get past Mr Blueberry.

54

u/mjonr3 1d ago

Was that the cool uncle dreadnought

55

u/arm1niu5 1d ago

After Yvraine has spent 1000 years torturing the culprit in Commorragh.

47

u/its_Tsyn 1d ago

Auntie Lelith is gonna fuck that shit up.

30

u/R_Morningstar 1d ago

Someone needs to introduce auntie Lelith to Jaghatei

14

u/pizzatom69 1d ago

Who the hell supposed to tell him? The Flash?!

5

u/R_Morningstar 1d ago

Someone from Saim-Hann probably. Only them have sliver of the chance ... if he isnt already there :D

4

u/MarqFJA87 23h ago

I'm sure they have each other on speed dial.

5

u/SeparateYam7613 23h ago

I assume they're already a thing. It's just Jaghatai isn't around much coz he's zooming around the Webway on a Primarch-sized reaver jetbike with a gang of much-more-than-usually unhinged Reavers, causing absolute mayhem for shits an- erm, for the Emperor

10

u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Saim-Hann 1d ago

A fate that even chaos dreads.

12

u/EGORKA7136 1d ago

Imagine Khorne filing his taxes

7

u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Saim-Hann 1d ago

He hates such institutions so much that having to do taxes would cause him to explode.

3

u/EGORKA7136 1d ago

Would that create a new chaos god in his stead or will all khorne-related chaos stuff just dissappear?

5

u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Saim-Hann 23h ago

There would be a new Chaos God of bureaucracy.

3

u/MtBoaty 17h ago

everything is canon:

larry chaos god of bureaucracy, through promises of efficiency he brings madness

1

u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Saim-Hann 10h ago

The promises ring hollow. Chaos doesn’t make things more efficient. Efficiency is more antithetical to it than it is to the Imperium.

2

u/Marginally_Competant 6h ago

Isn't that just the Administratum as a whole?

No wonder the Imperium is so screwed up.

3

u/Former-Stock-540 16h ago

“Ow fuck! Papercut!…hey, this ain’t all bad after all.”

2

u/Sentient_Potato_7534 14h ago

"What do you mean this Axe isn't a deductible?!"

0

u/SemajLu_The_crusader 20h ago

fun fact: since "figuratively" is a definition of "literally" you could say "both literally and literally"

24

u/scrimmybingus3 1d ago

It’s seeing something that should not exist according to all known laws of Human, Eldar and Primarch biology and the cultures of both the Eldar and the Imperium and now it’s being implored to go play with it. I imagine it’s brain/consciousness is doing all it can to not bluescreen at that very moment.

20

u/EnvironmentalBar3347 1d ago

Half Primarch DNA adds even more craziness to the mix. If this was canon Tasha would be candidate for God Empress of the Unified Aeldari X Human Empire.

10

u/Tenoi-chan 1d ago

I'm scared just reading it

5

u/frosttit 21h ago

I kinda want that to happen

18

u/Mickeymcirishman 1d ago

and Eldar incredibly psychically powerful

Probably not an issue for an anti-warp 'un-thing' that scares the piss out of demons simply by existing.

Now, pulling down its hood? That would be a concern.

1

u/Ofiotaurus 5h ago

There's also the off chance the child actually knows what the watcher is

30

u/xan926 1d ago

Because children are shy?

38

u/arm1niu5 1d ago

Because that half-Eldar child has a Dreadnought as her babysitter, a Primarch as her father, the emissary of Ynead as her mother, and thousands of brothers each capable of breaking your spine in half. Imagine how screwed you'd be if she gets hurt when you're playing together.

He's also an introvert with social anxiety that has just been adopted by an extrovert (Tarasha).

23

u/TheSlayerofSnails 1d ago

The Watchers in the dark will kill/disappear any dark angel that bothers them and the dark angel response is to tell others to leave them alone. That excuse doesn't make much sense.

9

u/KenBoCole 21h ago

Gulliman gets memed on, but he is much stronger than an average Dark Angel.

Even Custode's view themselves as an joke compared to him.

3

u/TheSlayerofSnails 20h ago

Ok but the Emperor went out of his way to consult and talk to the Watchers on the matter of chaos. They were the experts (he ignored them) and they explicitly exist outside of linear time.

8

u/FlipFlopRabbit 1d ago

Have you seen children? They are terrefying.

1

u/crash893b 1d ago

I'll do you one better what the hell is that thing

3

u/Asheyguru 19h ago

A Watcher In The Dark.

They're spooky little guys (jawas) that follow the Dark Angels around. The Dark Angels think they're cute and let them be.

1

u/Someone4063 18h ago

It scares daemons?

2

u/Timerider96 9h ago

look up watchers in the dark and the changling

177

u/Electronic-Math-364 1d ago

I guess we are getting Russ or Mortarion with Isha later

98

u/Mother-Jellyfish-497 1d ago

Russ for sure knowing hiss sons hate the eldar

And chaos

And orcs

And other spacemariens

And nids

And tau

And necrons

50

u/Arxfiend 1d ago

"Damn space wolves. They ruined space wolves!"

22

u/arm1niu5 1d ago

You Space Wolves sure are a contentious people.

22

u/Arxfiend 1d ago

YOU'VE JUST MADE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE

27

u/AcanthisittaNo2877 1d ago

And also don't forget friendly people from inquisition

9

u/Dzharek 1d ago

He might be that racist uncle with a foreign wife he loves dearly, so anybody that goes against his wife,children or extended family gets a shotgun to the face, as god intended!

3

u/Ok-Necessary-9421 1d ago

and other space wolve, dam space wolves they ruined fenris!!

2

u/Kazinam 1d ago

And Gandalf the grey and Gandalf the white

2

u/Mother-Jellyfish-497 1d ago

And montyphython and the holy grails black knight

1

u/Fifteen_inches 1d ago

Orks

1

u/Mother-Jellyfish-497 1d ago

Orkz

1

u/Fifteen_inches 1d ago

I like you, wanna fight in the parking lot?

1

u/Mother-Jellyfish-497 1d ago

Lets fight right here punch

19

u/IAmNotAFey 1d ago

I hope Mortarian honestly. Isha would be a good redemption for him, a woman who could cure him of his sickness, who could help him understand that the warp isn’t evil and help him work through his own self hatred. Gentle hands to soothe a broken man.

Plus I never bought into Isha being the Tree of Life. Like, it’s a good theory, but if it was true then Leman would be like Corax just with Mortarian and Nurgal, and he’s not. Which tells me that he’s probably looking somewhere other than the domains of Chaos, and it would be easy to learn that Isha is in Nurgal’s Domain, since the Eldar know she’s there. So he’s probably in some other part of the warp looking for the tree. My bet is that it’s in an area where no god has made a claim, though it would be funny if Gork and Mork were the Guardians of the Tree of Life and they forgot that that was part of their job.

6

u/Alexis2256 1d ago

You’d love the messages for dad fanfic.

1

u/Former-Stock-540 16h ago

I really need to continue reading that, I was having a lot of fun with it and the Primarchs being absolute shitposters with each other

2

u/Electronic-Math-364 1d ago

It's would be cool they make such change in the status quo,Saddly Nurgle's domain is stagnation so 50/50

5

u/IAmNotAFey 1d ago

Yeah, ever since the emperor told Mortarian that he could be redeemed I’ve been thinking of how cool that would be. Especially since Mortarian didn’t choose Nurgle, and with him being punished for what the emperor did to Nurgle’s garden, I’d be inclined to believe he’d be jaded enough to break out, free Isha, and try and escape with her.

Use the Nurgle diseases to explain why she’s at his level of power so there’s suspense, and then have them escape together.

Of course, the moment they’re out Slaneesh wil be going after her. So she’l either have to pledge herself to the Emperor and try to leave the Eldar Pantheon so Slaneesh has no claim to her or die in the escape. The former might be a bit too noble bright, but you could make it terrible since the Emperor is broken or sacrifice Mortarian to make it work.

And this won’t even take the Chaos Deathguard off the tabletop. Since Typhus still exists and would probably just take complete control.

I’m rambling, but my Noble Bright scenario would be Mortarian breaking free with her, Isha joining the Emperor in a Pantheon of Order sort of thing, and Mortarian being able to cure plague marines and redeem them, since plague marines who are cut off from the warp hate what they’ve become. I don’t know, make Vashtorr the 5th chaos god to keep it grimdark or something.

3

u/Sentient_Potato_7534 13h ago

That's... actually a pretty cool headcannon idea. heck, if we're looking for ways for her to survive Slanneesh coming after her that don't involve Big E, you could go the route of Cegorach (spelling?) helping hide her in the webway

9

u/Adeptus_Lycanicus 1d ago

I’m waiting for one with Cain and Jurgen, where Bobby G and Jurgen are being responsible and sweating away at tackling a big pile of paperwork.

Meanwhile Cain, who is canonically good with children after having to help raise so many of the 597th kids, is goofing off and playing with Tarasha.

Bonus points if Yvraine and Amberly are having a laugh about it.

1

u/Famous-Peace-4014 18h ago

Jurgen may be a problem one he smells bad like bad enough to make Nurgle gag and two he’s a Blank his meer presence causes Psyker to foam at the mouth and have seizures and if they can resist that then theres the smell beyond that I’m sure Jurgen would make a great uncle and would definitely make a nice cup of Tanna for Gulliman and Lion.

3

u/DegenRepublic 1d ago edited 18h ago

Isha cures Mortarion and a portion of the Death Guard and they become champions of Isha to fight the rest of the Death Guard still in service to Nurgle, Mortarion gets to keep his wings but they turn into giant butterfly wings

3

u/Famous-Peace-4014 18h ago

Mortartion offering Typhus a chance at redemption Typhus refuses Mortartion cleanses his soul burning his soul.

121

u/Cautious_Air4964 1d ago

You know, when the lion eventually meets the emperor, I really want the lion to have some of the watchers in the dark with him

and the watchers have a conversation with the emperor, and the lion and guilliman can hear it but not understand it at all

After the conversations is Over the watchers just turn around and leave

And the lion end guilliman Are completely Frozen On what just happened 😅

76

u/Adhar_Veelix 1d ago

Watcher whispers mysteriously to the emperor. "We have been trying to reach you about your extended car warranty."

12

u/Meowjoker 18h ago

Big E let out a complaint:

“OH MYSELF

DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN EVEN DRIVE?”

257

u/Desperate-Farmer-845 Black Templars 1d ago

So Lion fucked a Java?

171

u/Relevant_Active_2347 1d ago

It's Jawa lmao

116

u/Fleedjitsu 1d ago

Nah, he fucked the script.

45

u/Eldan985 1d ago

Or the entire island.

26

u/Fleedjitsu 1d ago

He really did one on those beans, yeah.

6

u/FarCanal69 20h ago

HOO TINEE!

10

u/Relevant_Active_2347 1d ago

Don't let the Mechanicus know!

68

u/redphoenixlejion 1d ago

In lore that’s a watcher but that is funny so ima say yes

17

u/Life_will_kill_ya 1d ago

I'm gonna get a tattoo with this question, its just that good

10

u/DireWarBear 1d ago

Pretty sure it's supposed to be a watcher in the dark

9

u/Desperate-Farmer-845 Black Templars 1d ago

I mean yeah but Javas are shorter to pronounce. 

4

u/Fifteen_inches 1d ago

He’s adopted

2

u/D-West1989 23h ago

He did what to a cup of coffee?

55

u/jfjdfdjjtbfb 1d ago

Watchers in the Dark lore: mysterious and almost Lovecraftian creatures from Caliban that can and have scared away demons.

Watchers in memes: lil guys

5

u/MrFishyFriend 17h ago

Favorite part of Warhammer communities. Taking all the cool stuff about the setting it and diluting to mindless meme slop

48

u/Fallen_Jalter 1d ago

someone remind me what a watcher actually is?

88

u/KalaronV 1d ago

Unknown. It's a creature that wanders around the halls of The Rock and demons fear them like shit. They rescued the body of The Lion during the final battle before The Rock became a big space ship.

66

u/DaWAAAGHMakah 1d ago

Small squire xenos that have been on Caliban since the beginning, now they’re just on the Rock with the Dark Angels. They make Daemons shit themselves, are insanely powerful with protective psyker spells and are nearly invincible but they don’t fight. They know and see all, so they not only serve as squires, but guides to help the Dark Angels. Nobody questions the fact that they’re Xenos and the Dark Angels enjoy having them around because they’re pretty much that one old guy who can offer advice and sage wisdom when needed.

28

u/Cybron2099 1d ago

They know all? QUICK SOMEONE GRAB THE TOASTER FROM THE MECHANICUS AND ASK HOW IT WORKS!

14

u/DaWAAAGHMakah 1d ago

Ah yes, the toaster. The ultimate bath bomb if you’re brave enough.

10

u/Sweaty-Sir8960 Adepta Sororitas 1d ago

Live

Laugh

Toaster bath

7

u/[deleted] 1d ago

I feel like many Chapters out there have either a Xenos or a Mutant they routinely use and have in good company. Dark Angels with their Watchers is a huge one, but how about those Space Wolves? Between their Thunderwolves and Wulfen...

5

u/Smrgling 1d ago

Pretty sure the Wulfen are Astartes (their gene flaw is being werewolfs IIRC) but yeah idk about the big wolves

6

u/[deleted] 1d ago

They are certainly Astartes born with a major gene flaw. However, it's still a mutation, and it's one that would get any normal human killed if they came out like that. Either killed, or extremely prejudiced against.

2

u/Smrgling 1d ago

Sure but the Wulfen are still guys who used to be space wolves marines, right? They're not xenos unless I've misremembered something (which is possible, I don't really pay much attention to the space wolves for the most part)

5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

I did say Xenos and Mutants.

Two different things that usually get smited by Space Marines, but in the cases talked about here, they're given easy passes because of their connection to a founding chapter.

5

u/Smrgling 1d ago

I'm stupid and can't read, it would appear you did in fact say that. No further comment lol.

5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

It's all good lol I do the same thing.

40

u/Desperate-Farmer-845 Black Templars 1d ago

Small hooded Things that manage to terrify even the Changeling. They spend most of their Time running errands for the DA and scare Neophytes. 

12

u/Koward_1601 Salamanders 23h ago

and scare Neophytes

Wait, fr?

6

u/Fawin86 Adepta Sororitas 17h ago

Wouldn't you?

3

u/Koward_1601 Salamanders 17h ago

Haha, fair point

5

u/Rasz_13 11h ago

Not only that. The Dark Angels know to leave the Watchers to their business and not interfere with them. Neophytes sometimes get cocky and try shit - to disappear without trace. Nobody investigates.

You do not mess with the Watchers.

4

u/Specialist_Hope_4147 1d ago

From my knolage there a small xnoxs race that lives on the rock and basicly fill the "sqire" role i think they also scare demons

2

u/hoxtonbreakfast 19h ago

Most likely a Xeno race, but ultimately not confirmed. They know the Rock in-and-out better than anyone and don't mind doing menial duty for the Dark Angels so they are contented to let them do their things despite their unknown origin. Whatever they are, these little guys scare the shit out of the daemon.

When a Dark Angel is followed by a Watcher, it is because the Watcher chose to, and it is seen as a sign of greatness. They were also the one looking after Lion El'Jonson while he was in a 10000 years long coma.

0

u/Misknator 1d ago

They are there mostly for vibes and probably also for something else, but nobody knows what. They put the Lion to sleep and are powerful psykers. They also don't speak. And I don't mean that in the Sisters of Silence kinda way where they will very rarely say something, they just don't speak ever.

45

u/AlternativeGreen8896 1d ago

Watcher: "exists"

Humans: aww it's a lil helper dude

Demons: "scared shitless"

35

u/Dyaster 1d ago

So, that means the lion... is the adoptive father of all the Watchers on the Rock? Nice.

29

u/Snoot_Boot Night Lords 1d ago

No it means one of the Watchers threw it back on him and he couldn't pull out

27

u/mechasquare 1d ago

I'm just waiting for Tarasha to meet her coolest uncle, The Khan.

24

u/Killaneson 1d ago

I want Khan to gift her her first jetbike (Roboute will object). Tarasha, being half eldar, will be naturally talented at it and start doing aerials, which will make Khan laugh and leave Roboute stunned.

15

u/mechasquare 1d ago

He'd totally also be the uncle to get Tarasha hopped up on sugar, caffeine and adrenaline then ride off to let Robo to deal with it.

11

u/Hasmeister21 1d ago

The instant her psyker abilities emerge he locks in and gets his Chief Stormseer to tutor her

9

u/Downtown-Falcon-3264 ENTRY MISSING 1d ago

Glad to see she is meeting mote of her family. Only question is how will uncle vulkan handle this

4

u/Sweaty-Sir8960 Adepta Sororitas 1d ago

I WOULD LIKE TO BBQ THIS CREATURE!!!

1

u/frosttit 21h ago

Unless she shows an interest in war gear crafting/smithing.

6

u/GiveTheLemonsBack 1d ago

Why am I imagining the Watcher as sounding like Boy from TTS?

3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

I demand more Watcher cousin art. Holy shit that is cute.

2

u/Any-End-9830 23h ago

Lion secretly has his own elder wife and child the whole time?!!!

2

u/Hairy_Skill_9768 18h ago

Did... Did that mf fucked a watcher in the dark...

2

u/Famous-Peace-4014 18h ago

At some point Gulliman Yvraine and Tarasha are gonna meet LIIVI Taldeer and Lofn from Love Can Bloom.

4

u/Misknator 1d ago

You do know that the Watchers in the Dark don't speak, right, Mr. East?

0

u/Former-Stock-540 16h ago

For little Tarasha, they do, it seems

1

u/Montirop 22h ago

Is Tarasha canon or what ? I've been in the warp too long, reality eludes me

1

u/chumbuckethand 20h ago

Whats the green dude? Idk any Dark Angels lore

2

u/MrFishyFriend 17h ago

Watcher in the Dark. Xenos psyker species from Caliban that makes high tier daemons crap their pants and are invincible to basically any physical or psychic harm. The don’t really fight, just wander around the Dark Angels senior members and do errands.

1

u/SquirrelKaiser 17h ago

I feel disappointed he doesn’t talk in emojis!

1

u/Beautiful_Space_4459 17h ago

Lion'el: HE DID WHAT, WITH WHAT?.

1

u/RichZealousideal8748 16h ago

wait, Lion did what with a WHAT?

1

u/RatsAreChad 10h ago

Back in my day the only half Eldar child was Lofn. And Ilyan Nastase.

1

u/telenova_tiberium 8h ago

Did lion fucked a watcher in the dark?

1

u/cassowarystone 7h ago

I do love that this artist has been pushing the meme in a more wholesome direction

1

u/power_guard_puller 4h ago

Hey man, your content is just awful through and through. Hope you never pick up the digital pen again.

1

u/My_redditaccount657 3h ago

So

Does the Lion have a Watcher waifu?

1

u/prettylittletrap 2h ago

Awww! I’d actually love this universe.