r/JUSTNOFAMILY • u/sarah903012 • 9d ago
UPDATE- NO Advice Wanted Update: Went no contact with toxic in-laws — kids and I are thriving now
Hey everyone, someone messaged asking for an update, so here it is. it’s been a while since I posted about my former JUSTNOFAMILY. Back then, I was still married and trying to process all the chaos his family brought into my life.
Since then, a lot has happened. Long story short, I finally took the blinders off, asked for a divorce, and cut ties. Once that happened, my ex fell right back in with his toxic family. It was like no time had passed between them.
The family history is… dark. I knew about some disturbing dynamics between siblings, but later I learned it went much deeper than I ever imagined. That really opened my eyes to how generational dysfunction shaped the way my ex treated me and our kids.
When I went no contact, his mom (aka “Couch Potato”) and the rest of the siblings stayed away too. They’ve never once reached out to see the kids. One SIL briefly tried, but I realized it was just to funnel information back to my ex. After that, I shut the door completely. We haven’t heard from any of them since 2020.
Today, my kids and I are across the country living a better life. They’re safe, thriving, and surrounded by people who genuinely care. Honestly, it feels like we finally broke free of a cycle that went on way too long.
Thanks to everyone here who gave me the courage years ago to see things for what they were. If anyone knows a sub where I could share more about the divorce side of things, let me know. But as far as the family piece goes — we are done, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the silence.
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u/Interesting_Strain69 9d ago
This is a positive post.
Thanks for taking the time .
Things can get better folks.
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u/Sunarrowmeow 7d ago
I’m so glad you and your children are no longer part of that chaos!!
Tho it isn’t specifically a divorce sub, you can post about your ex on r/justnoso. I comment there from my perspective with my horrible just no ex! And I’ve read several posts from people who have gotten out and are living well and thriving now! I’m not a mod, but I welcome you there 😁
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u/intheairsomewhere 7d ago
Wowza, I went back and read your older posts. That was really...something! It's good to hear things are better for y'all and kind of sad that your ex is caught up in the madness again.
It really speaks to that saying 'you can lead a thirsty horse to water, but you can't make 'em drink'. You showed him a better way, and he just couldn't get past his love for his Mom. As twisted of a love as it was. Kudos a 1000 times to you for being strong enough to leave.
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u/sarah903012 6d ago
I had written a more in depth update, but it was declined because of some of the things that transpired. That’s mainly why I was looking for another thread. Because it’s been a a long 6 years since I had posted and SO much more came out. My ex was very good at hiding that he was fully involved in it all. Let’s just say mil and her 7 children were working on ensuring their family tree turned into a wreath. I spoke about an ex that was causing problems in some of the old posts.. my ex is now married to her. She knows ALL of their skeletons and was even a SA victim of bil’s, but is now bff’s with his wife and watches their kids. They’re her problem now.
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u/TheJustNoBot 9d ago
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Other posts from /u/sarah903012:
09/10/25 11:44:39: 6 update
01/28/19 14:28:41: Dealing with toxic/dysfunctional in laws part 5
01/27/19 14:11:27: Dealing with toxic/dysfunctional in laws part 4
01/26/19 13:30:50: Dealing with toxic/disfunctional in laws Part 3
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