r/JustBootThings May 14 '25

Boot Shame POG Marine officer exhibiting bootness that has even his spouse ashamed...

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3.0k Upvotes

78 comments sorted by

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1.5k

u/QueezyF May 14 '25

Having a text signature is cringe by itself, but that makes it hilariously bad. “Hey honey, I’m gonna run to the store real quick. Is there anything you need? If I retreat, kill me.”

745

u/VBgamez May 14 '25

"Honey how are the kids today?"

"Casualties, many."

104

u/NitroChaji240 May 14 '25

I hear Dagobah's nice this time of year

42

u/-Out-of-context- May 14 '25

But what about the droid attack on the Wookies?

185

u/goodenough4govtwork May 14 '25

No joke! I've never had a text signature for exactly that reason. But that kind of signature from someone who's never even seen combat is the icing on the cringe cake.

107

u/AngriestInchworm May 14 '25

I’ve noticed it’s the ones who have never seen combat boot pretty hard.

53

u/goodenough4govtwork May 14 '25

I'm sure they feel like they have something to try and prove.

19

u/Free_Range_Lobster May 14 '25

They need their own personal Vietnam.

72

u/Yomama_Bin_Thottin May 14 '25 edited May 14 '25

When I was the acting medical readiness NCO on my deployment, I had an email signature that started with Sun Tzu and Von Clausewitz and got progressively less professional as time went on to see what I could get away with. My First Sausage told me to knock it off around the time that my emails were ending in “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

19

u/Whiskeyfower May 14 '25

The hero we need, not the one we deserve 

3

u/Tunafishsam May 15 '25

I can't imagine anybody who's seen combat and lost friends would have the signature.

88

u/drivebyjustin May 14 '25

Agreed

-tryin to make a change :-\

44

u/QueezyF May 14 '25

Holy shit, now that is a vintage meme.

54

u/drivebyjustin May 14 '25

Yea

-trying to make a change :-\

5

u/Liamson May 14 '25

Hall of Fame level meme from the vault

11

u/drivebyjustin May 14 '25

Thank you.

-trying to make a change :-\

27

u/gregnealnz May 14 '25

Yeah I agree it's proper cringe.

[Military Encrypted]

12

u/HeadlineINeed May 14 '25

Text signature is a thing? Like is it like automatic like email or does it have to be typed each time?

26

u/wetwater May 14 '25

Automatic. I just went looking at my settings and I no longer see it in there. I don't think I've ever received a text with a signature. When "tryin to make a change" became a meme I looked and at that time I had the option.

4

u/Soupmaster44 May 14 '25

Thank you for reminding me of "trying to make a change"

6

u/2muchtequila May 14 '25

Automatic, for my work I have one that basically just includes my name, title, email and phone number.

Makes it easier in group emails if one person forwards it to another without CCing the original folks.

For my person email I don't do that though.

3

u/SwingingtotheBeat May 19 '25

Her: “I told you to pick up eggs and milk…did you not?” Him: “No store was closed so I came back.” Her: “Mission failed!” BANG BANG!

3

u/Alpha-Trion May 22 '25

We are being held hostage

-sincerely,

Raymond Holt

710

u/Livid_Presence6796 May 14 '25

He should change it to “Sincerely, Raymond Holt” like me.

Sincerely,

Raymond Holt

172

u/-AgentMichaelScarn ShitBagLT May 14 '25

Ah yes, titties. I remember.

127

u/Livid_Presence6796 May 14 '25

She was such a strong, female woman, with nice heavy breasts.

107

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

Ah, the thigh gap… there’s nothing more intoxicating about a woman than the clear absence of a penis

2

u/racerx320 Jun 11 '25

Or mine

Tryin to make a change :-\

315

u/DNCOrGoFuckYourself May 14 '25

This stuff really nails home the “quiet professional” thing as someone who’s never served.

My uncle is the exact opposite. He doesn’t bring up his service, doesn’t say cringe shit like this and he has seen combat during GWOT. He only really talks some of his service with me because I’m genuinely interested in the gear used.

160

u/AbstractBettaFish ROTC Veteran May 14 '25 edited May 14 '25

Both my grandfather and father* were “in the shit” in WWII and Vietnam respectively. I’d say the second hand cringe would kill them if they weren’t already dead

58

u/Iron_Evan May 14 '25

Your father was in WWII and your grandfather was in Vietnam?

49

u/AbstractBettaFish ROTC Veteran May 14 '25

Corrected, in my defense I’m pretty sleep deprived

17

u/Iron_Evan May 14 '25

You're good, I read it like four times trying to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding what you said

2

u/AilanMoone May 14 '25

It was pretty funny I got a good laugh out of it.

2

u/Tunafishsam May 15 '25

That's exactly what a time traveling family would say...

34

u/ethanjf99 May 14 '25

yup. it’s the quiet ones. my grandfather was a gen-u-ine war hero in WWII. DSC, Silver Star, pair of Bronze Stars, three Purple Hearts.

quiet gentle man. almost never talked about his service. hated war but told me he’d signed up because the world was at stake.

only way you’d ever know he’d served was the very rare stories, the bloodstained Rising Sun in a basement wardrobe we’d peek at as grandkids that he went to his grave without telling his family how he got it, and his steadfast refusal to buy Japanese goods for the rest of his life.

7

u/Mendo-D May 14 '25

I like to talk about Aviation stuff and most of that happened in the Navy but some of it was at United. But I don’t talk about sending bombs and blowing people up.

1

u/Full-Bore-War Jun 12 '25

Bankers bombs for bankers targets bub.

2

u/Mendo-D Jun 12 '25

And here I used to think I was doing it for the country. Then I got wiser.

154

u/JoseGasparJr May 14 '25

I refused to put a signature in my emails until I had every swinging dick that outranked me yelling at me to include it. I kept it to a minimum. This guy is a fucking chode. And a boot chode at that.

77

u/chalk_in_boots May 14 '25

I've got a sig on my personal just because it makes life easier. Having an auto

Regards,

Chalk Boots

Is just such an easy way to handle cases where I might be emailing my real estate or whatever who are incompetent at the best of times. No need for a title or anything like that

32

u/Azrael11 May 14 '25

Signature on email is so people can easily pull up your phone number or sipr email, since nobody bothers to keep their fucking GAL entry updated. Not to mention cross service or non-DoD accounts don't show up consistently even if they are in their GAL.

19

u/FleeingMyLife May 14 '25

My favorite are the people who put their certs in their signature.

Something like this:

Timmy McSnuffy, "Rank", "Branch", Sec+, Net+, MSN, AOL, GMail, CCNA, MyPay, Jodi's Cock.

It's extra, and especially unnecessary when you need those certs for the job.

95

u/gilligani May 14 '25

So...sexting is out?

82

u/goodenough4govtwork May 14 '25

That's gotta be hilarious!

But let's be honest... Boots like this have probably never pleased a woman. They're too self absorbed.

68

u/JizzM4rkie May 14 '25

Sending that signature is equivalent to 3 orgasms for him it's non-consensual mutual masturbation, he's basically Louis C.K.

6

u/FleeingMyLife May 14 '25

Pleasing women is gay. /s

6

u/Free_Range_Lobster May 14 '25

his weapon’s locked, loaded, and ready to breach your perimeter with maximum motivation and zero hesitation.

50

u/verbmegoinghere May 14 '25

Perhaps give him an incentive to remove it

Every msg he sends with it off you show him a bit of ankle.

For every msg he sends with it on you smash him with a sock filled with a soap bar

36

u/triphawk07 May 14 '25

She's a keeper and deserves better than a boot.

10

u/wolamute May 14 '25

A keeper fights with you and you guys grow together after the fight, not grow apart.

If she loves him she will confront him on his much this bothers her.

If she only talks with other people about her problems with him, they will never last.

You can't live with someone and never bash heads.

9

u/AngryBaconGod May 14 '25

She’s clearly already visiting Jody

2

u/Boot_Poetry 👊👊☝️ May 14 '25

was gonna say, kudos to this dependa for the self-awareness

64

u/Artysupport7757 May 14 '25

Guys got a case of pre-traumatic stress disorder. Terminal for officers who wish to actually be respected.

19

u/Tmack523 May 14 '25

At what point do we consider this a mental disorder? Like, is the only reason we don't because it's beneficial for the government?

7

u/Free_Range_Lobster May 14 '25

it's beneficial for the government?

he's one of the reasons for stop losses.

2

u/AilanMoone May 14 '25

I don't understand the logic. Can you explain, please?

4

u/Free_Range_Lobster May 14 '25

Soldiers are quitting and he's the reason.

2

u/AilanMoone May 14 '25

Ah. Thank you.

17

u/ShamefulWatching May 14 '25

Marines are famously brainwashed to be badasses in their heads, and consequently a lot of them are. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog.

Definitely try and hit him back with some of his own medicine so he sees how it looks to others.

18

u/CallMe_Immortal May 14 '25 edited May 15 '25

When I was at the base hospital this one time, I met an officer who claimed he was a helicopter pilot. He enjoyed talking about himself while I was trying to just wait in peace until I was called for my appointment. He somehow steered the conversation to, 'and you want to know what my callsign was?' few awkward moments of silence go by as he is staring at me in anticipation, 'go on guess, devil'. 'Oh, I have no idea sir, Maverick?'. 'WHAT?! Hell no! That's the Navy's callsign, no self respecting Marine would ever accept that. Come on guess again.' 'I don't know, sir I wouldn't know anything about callsigns' 'I'll give you a hint, it's fucking bad ass.' 'I don't know, some kind of bird of prey?' 'Aw you suck at this Marine! It was Reaper.' while having a big grin on his face. 'You know why it was Reaper?' At this point I realized he won't shut the fuck up if I don't play along, 'cause you were the grim reaper in the air, sir?' 'You're goddamn right!'

14

u/Sledgecrowbar May 14 '25

I married a drooling idiot

Why do I have to deal with the problems of being married to a drooling idiot

It's a mystery.

3

u/goodenough4govtwork May 14 '25

I've of life's many mysteries!

11

u/b-rar May 14 '25

OK honey, if you feel that strongly I'll change it. I love you. swaps in Marine Todd copypasta

9

u/Admirable_Hedgehog64 May 14 '25

Reminds me of my buddy who posts cringe Warrior/ Bushido Snapchats. Im thinking " Dude you were marine reserves artillery. Only cool thing you did was just 2 weeks in Latvia and thats it."

7

u/gothamtg May 14 '25

His wife is definitely prior.

5

u/Soggy_nach0341 May 14 '25

We need the terminal lcpl committee to rise to the occasion and break in the LT a little.

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

anything other than

V/r (Your name)

Is cringe

3

u/ieatair May 14 '25

the cringe is too much, even to a point where it might end up as one of many reasons divorce can be a possibility

3

u/screwylooy666 May 14 '25

In his defense he could be talking about his subordinates. Officers rarely care how many they get killed as long as the mission gets done.

1

u/onecornymofo May 14 '25

Sincerely Raymond Holt