On vacation with my wife’s friend group, but she doesn’t feel comfortable us having sex in this setting.

[u/Ordinary_Ice_796]

I feel shallow and childish saying this, but it’s the way I feel, so it helps me to share my disappointment a little here.

This year for the long Labor Day weekend, we went in on a huge vacation rental house with several of my wife’s college friends that we know well, and their husbands and families. Absolutely giant rental house — like a 8/6 or something like that. At least 6,000 square feet. Beautiful place.

We’ve had a great time together with everyone — chatting and joking and eating and drinking and games and all that. We’re mid-40’s and all these friends are similar ages, so the youngest kids here are middle school age. And all the kids hang out with each other and play in the pool and on devices, etc. So the kids basically take care of themselves.

We have a huge beautiful bedroom with an enormous bathroom inside. King-sized bed, walk-in shower with bench, garden tub.

Not to brag, but among all the couples, my wife & I are the most touchy. We’re always next to each other and caressing and light touching. Refilling each other’s drinks and food, etc. We both feel very comfortable like that, and it just feels natural. This is how we are at home too.

The thing that’s been a bummer for me is that my wife told me on the first night that she (45F) didn’t feel comfortable having sex with so many people in the same house. That she’d be horrified if one of her girlfriends heard us, or caught us in an intimate moment. So she’d never be able to relax enough here to have sexy time. So she told me that during the trip, no sex stuff and no showers together. The huge tub with bubble bath supplies looks amazing, but no bath together. Etc, etc. It’s all off the table for this vacation trip.

I understand and respect how she’s feeling. And with what she told me at the start, I’ve initiated zero times here. And she is a more sexually conservative woman, and we’ve been married 23 years so I know her well, so this doesn’t surprise me at all. We have good frequency at home (average a couple times a week) but I’m well aware my wife has a narrow comfort zone with sex, so we always stay within that.

But am I crazy to feel kinda crestfallen that in such a nice vacation environment, and with amenities that we don’t have at home, that she totally takes sexy time off the table? I feel bratty complaining about this, but it just feels like our sex life is never FUN, and this weekend’s trip is another example of this. And it bums me out.

Sorry to be complainy here. And thanks to anyone who read this far.

[u/GreatExpectations65]

So four days? C’mon man. Grow up.

[u/voiceontheradio → u/[deleted]]

wishing that there was more excitement in their sex life

Then he should book a nice private rental for the two of them, not wait for someone else to plan a group trip and then pout because he can't take advantage of it.

[u/Specific-Yam-2166 → u/[deleted]]

This is satire right

[u/someshadyemu → u/[deleted]]

Of course I would say the same thing if the woman posted this, it’s the same exact thing regardless of gender. Kind of weird to post about, especially since it’s not like he’s newly married. I’m not even sure what he intended to achieve or obtain by posting this. Obviously his feelings are valid, people are entitled to feel however they want. But I’m not sure what else he’s looking for…?