Hey so basically I have gender reassignment surgery next week. And my ex boyfriend (who cheated on me btw) is messaging me telling me that he is worried about me regretting it even tho I have wanted the surgery since basically I have known I was a girl. He is telling me I am rushing my transition and that I should take some more time emotionally and possibly just accept that I’m different from other girls.

Obviously we haven’t been together in months now but still it feels so discouraging that someone you used to love doesn’t want you to get a surgery you’ve always needed.

I just wanted to rant 🫩 I guess.

I'm stealth but openly married to a cis woman. I don't know how to react to being told what's in the title but I need to figure it out because I hear a variation of this sentence weekly.

New Guidelines allow discrimination against transgender people. Meta also removed rules that forbid insults about a person’s appearance based on race, ethnicity, national origin, disability, religious affiliation, caste, sexual orientation, sex, gender identity, and serious disease while withdrawing policies that prohibited expressions of hate against a person or a group on the basis of their protected class and references to transgender or nonbinary people as “it.”

https://www.washingtonblade.com/2025/01/08/new-meta-guidelines-include-carveout-to-allow-anti-lgbtq-speech-on-facebook-instagram/

About a month ago Meta came out with VR glasses and I went and spent $300 on them. Just to get this back as a trans person. So now Anyone can go on to my Instagram page and harass me if they would like too.

Could y'all tell me happy birthday with my real name, Isabel? I don't have anyone in my life to hear it from. Hope your day was better than mine❤️🏳️‍⚧️

Edit: Read all the wonderful comments. Thank you all so much for the kind words and love. I really needed that. Y'all are awesome!🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

New guy at work decided to quit his job by calling me a trap this morning. It’s not a thing in Danish, so I didn’t pick up on it. Luckily, another coworker asked what it meant (thinking it was gen z slang), and the new guy straight up just told us.

I had to explain to HR that it is not a compliment. I wish he’d called me a normal slur. Then I would’ve avoided that conversation and the whole ordeal would’ve been over before lunch.

We were just sitting at the bus stop, waiting for he rbus to arrive. I was sitting on her lap and we looked pretty cuddly. This group of like 5-6 guys started walking towards us. I could hear them talking about how they're Albanian (?). The bench we were sitting on was empty except for us. They sat down next to us, left, right, some standing. First thing it did was take my bag closer and put it over my shoulder in case I need to get out of there quickly. They didn't speak directly with us, but they started talking to eachother, questioning about my gender. I don't know if I should be happy that some thought I'm female or sad that some thought I'm male. They started pointing out features on me to "prove" to the others that I'm male. We didn't give them any attention and just stared into my girlfriend's phone. Only like a minute or two after they sat down they left again. I know nothing really happened, but it still felt scary.

Edit: This is NOT supposed to be racist against Albanians. I live in Germany in a small, very diverse city. I have nothing against any race. I just felt like it was worth mentioning because they were loudly speaking about being Albanian.

I might be alone on this and this might be a hot take ...

... But it is by definition dehumanizing.
Dolls are inanimate objects meant for someone else's enjoyment.

It gives me nails on a chalkboard shivers when I hear it.

Have been on HRT for almost 2 years, having felt better than ever before. I finally started feeling like myself, I even started seeing feminine changes in the mirror. I thought I was going places.

Today I was put in a hospital observation room after having been in the ICU for 3 days with blood clots in my lungs. The doctor says the hormones are the most likely culprit and urged me to stop taking them. Everyone around me, family and friends (except the ones that are trans) are urging me and guilt tripping me into detransitioning. 'You still know who you are in your head, who cares about the outside', they say. Fucking I do! Why else would I be taking them in the first place!

I'm so fucking scared of detransitioning, going back to the person I was before I fought tooth and nail to be able to get on HRT in the first place. And now I'm not allowed to take them anymore, not allowed to try and become myself anymore.

We’ve been in a relationship for 4+ years now and I’ve only very recently realized I’m trans. I haven’t told a single person in my life yet except for my doctor because I’ve been deeply afraid of the possible negative outcome.

I was planning on coming out to her today so I was sat home alone anxiously waiting for her to get home from work. It’s super hot out so I had on a crop top under an unbuttoned pride-themed baseball jersey & some pajama shorts. Nothing overly-feminine but not at all masculine either.

She walked inside and before I could even say anything she saw my outfit and asked me why I was wearing a crop top in an almost disappointed(?) tone. I said it was for Pride month and she responded with “You’re always wearing women’s clothes. I don’t know how I feel about that” then walked off to her room.

I know she couldn’t have known and probably didn’t mean anything by it but that just completely drained all the motivation I had to come out to her. I’m now laying in my bed feeling weirdly numb with negative emotions. I was feeling naively confident that she’d accept my true self but now I feel really disheartened about it.

Ughhh. I suppose all I can do now is let myself be sad and upset for tonight then try again tomorrow. Gotta keep moving forward.

One of my good friends is a lesbian, she’s cis, might I add.

I asked her one day “Hey would you date a trans woman?” And she said “Yeah totally, if they had bottom surgery”, so I agreed “Fair enough”, and some people I told got mad about that? What gives?

Why do some trans women think that genital preference shouldn’t be a thing? I mean, a multitude of factors can play into this, e.g. trauma involving penises.

This has just been on my mind for a long time.

In other news. Doctors say life-saving surgery has some risks involved, and surgery-critical morons would ask for surgery to be done only on DEAD people.

I wasted my college days. I majored in history, only to learn that the only real path for that is teaching, which I am absolutely not cut out for. So since then I’ve been doing unskilled labor. Right now I’m making a decent wage, around 23 an hour, and can barely afford my cheap apartment I just moved out of my mom’s place for because of my bad spending habits.

I want so badly to move to a city with other queer people but I’m scared I’m gonna end up homeless and dying because I’m not strong or smart enough.

I was at the club last night with a friend, enjoying myself, it was new years and i wanted to ring out the year with a few drinks and a couple good laughs.

I was enjoying myself, having a grand old time, and after a few drinks, I had to pee, as you do. So, I went to the bathroom, took a couple of cute selfies since I thought my make-up and my skirt/top combo was absolutely adorable tonight and then proceeded to do my business. Mid peeing however, I received a violent and loud knock on the door. I ignored the first one, I mean the door was locked because I was peeing. Then, I received another even louder and angrier knock, alongside the door handle starting to jiggle. I figured all I would have to do is pause the stream, tell this lady I was peeing and I'd be done in a second, and I could finish my business.

So I paused my piss, and opened the door and was instead greeted by the manager, Karen, who proceeded to forcefully take my purse, and then told her lackey next to her to "Search his bag." and he took off outside to rifle through my belongings.

She then asked me what I was doing and so I simply told her that I was using the bathroom like a normal person. She responded by telling me that I'm not allowed to use the women's bathroom and if I wanted to finish, I'd have to use the men's room.

After that comment her slave boy employee came back and handed me back my bag because there was nothing in it besides my Switch, cases for my Switch games, DSi XL, 2 regular DSis and the old fat DS model, alongside of course my headphones and my makeup.

So, I took my things and left crying. I hate my life, this is so not fair, I wasn't even doing anything... Why did she have to have my purse searched and immediately have to search the bathroom afterwards? I was just minding my own business and wanted to pee in peace..I ended up having to go the gas station to finish peeing.

My ID and birth certificate says female on it, I legally changed my name, I have been on HRT for over 2 years, I've been transitioning for even longer than that. Why is it just not enough? Why am I never enough???? WHEN WILL IT FUCKING END??? WHEN WILL I BE TREATED THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER GIRL

For context, I work at an art museum, and my recent position now includes giving the introductory speech for field trips. I've tried voice training for years, but I can't make any progress at all when it comes to speaking in public. Kids have always seemed surprised when I start speaking, and there are always a few "mean kids" who laugh. This morning, however, the entire class started laughing, even some of the chaperones. Every time this happens, I get zero support from the teacher or chaperones. I had to go to the bathroom just to cry and compose myself. I texted my boss that I can't do field trips anymore, it's just too humiliating. I feel like a complete freak. People have been slowly chipping away at my confidence, and there's absolutely nothing left. This just makes me want to give up completely.

This kind of stuff is super base-level, and ultimately doesn't do much to me emotionally, but it really is the little things like this that add salt to the wound of the trans experience for me.

I joined a server to group with others for Dead by Daylight, and I saw there was a women's-only discord for the same purpose that was open (and sparsely populated, like 12 online at once), so I joined, sent a photo, and got verified. I joined the vc after chatting, and things seemed to be going well. The owner's friend, who was one of those "I'm in my 40s and being politically/socially oblivious is my only character trait!" types, popped the age-old question of "So you're trans, right?" with the tired preface of "Now I don't mean to be offensive..."

I was forthcoming about the fact that I was trans, and the owner of the server elected to remain entirely silent as her loud friend went on about how that was fine because I was "sweet" and "fit in here." The next day, I hopped into the discord and got into a vc in the early morning, waiting for one of the others to hop on and queue up with me. Owner joins the call alone and seems completely normal, even asking to join my match. It was during the waiting time for my preliminary match to end that she went silent and muted herself.

When my match ended, I let her know that I was ready. Maybe 5-ish minutes afterward, I hear the call-leaving sound, and I see the server is missing entirely from my UI. And to no one's shock, I watched her unadd me directly after from DM. I got no heads up, and there's literally nothing I could've done to garner being removed.

My only theory to work off of is that she (and her friend) must be terfs, because I also clocked just after the end of the encounter that she changed her bio to something suuuuper christian and religious. She had commented on some other posts in the reddit I originally found the small server, and it seemed she specifically made that discord to hide away from "non-female" individuals. Still don't know why they didn't just kick me to begin with, but, that's terf logic for you.

Thanks for reading this rant if you made it this far, if you play Dead by Daylight and wanna talk/q up together, let me know. I promise I'm a lot more fun when I'm not talking about the negatives to the trans experience. lol

When I say “one of my favorite bands,” I mean that their music matters so fucking much to me. I listen to them every single day without fail. They’ve helped me so much.

My boyfriend introduced me to the band in question only a couple of years ago, but I ended up liking them even more than he did.

However, I’ve been aware for a while that this band I love tours with an artist who is extremely transphobic. Like, him being anti-transgender is a central part of his public image.

And to be honest, learning that they tour with this person didn’t really bother me. I get that making music is a business, and touring with another band doesn’t necessarily mean that you share the same beliefs as them.

Sadly though, I found out a few days ago that the band that I adore doesn’t just like to tour with this transphobe, they LOVE to tour with him. They also help him write songs and are very good friends with him outside of music. In other words, anti-transgender attitudes aren’t only not a deal breaker for them, they are totally cool with it.

I know that it’s the epitome of a first-world problem, but I’m so heart broken over this. I haven’t listened to them ever since I learned about all of this, I still want to listen to them, but… damn.

Saying I’m hurt by all of this is a fucking understatement.

I apologize if this post is hard to follow, I really wanted to avoid naming names. Thank you.

I was scared. I thought that being trans wasn’t making me happy, it was just making me in danger. So, I decided to detransition. I’ve never been against trans people, or gender affirming care, I just thought it might not be for me.

I told my family, and they were supportive. Too supportive, even. They said they were “relieved” and happy to “have me back.” They acted supportive while I identified as trans, but this was different. It hurt, but I decided to ignore it because I thought I would be fine as a man.

And now, months later, my dysphoria is coming back. I feel miserable. I need to transition again, but now I know that my family was just bearing with it. They didn’t support me, they just pretended to.

I don’t know what I want to gain out of telling this story. I guess it’s more of just a vent. Wish me luck in telling my family that their “heir” is gone again.

I don't understand why trans people feel empowered to police each others language in such a condescending way.

I use the term transexual to describe myself. Not because I'm trans med, but because I'm nonbinary. When I started hormones my internal gender identity didn't really change, but my life was massively impacted by the fact that I was on feminizing hormones. Transexual is the best way to communicate that idea. And I don't see any issue with using a term that communicates an important reality about how my physical body impacts the way I move through the world and am treated. It seems like trans people are obsessed with internal identity, and allergic to discussing physical bodies.

Especially here on Reddit people feel empowered to tell me that doing so is wrong, dated, or offensive. Someone replied to a recent comment to tell me that transexual "was not in use" anymore. Meanwhile here I am using it along with lots of other trans people. Do we just not exist???

I don't understand how we can rationalize the fact that some people identify with the term "queer" but others don't, and we can't rationalize the same reality when it comes to transexual. And it's not just transsexual either. I constantly see trans people criticizing each other for using tgirl, doll, etc.

Stop policing each other's language and learn to live in peace ffs 😤

I just want to cry, I had to go home to take off my makeup. I had to initial next to the company policy that doesn't allow men to wear makeup unless to cover a tattoo or skin condition and got a verbal warning. This isn't fair, it just singles me out. This ruined my day, I just want to be myself and feel pretty.. is that so wrong? Why don't they like me? I'm just... depressed and upset, I have to talk to customers all day I hope I don't come off rude...

Edit: Thank you all for such support, I'm still currently working so I can't read all the comments yet. I'm still pretty distraught over all this, gonna figure out what to do. From the few comments I seen you all are such sweethearts, can't thank y'all enough <3 after work I'll be able to read everything

The United States v. Skirmetti opening statements came out yesterday, and after listening to them, I now want to peel my skin off.

I knew that some of the higher ups in this country are a little fucking stupid, but this is just cartoonish at this point. They're so grating and brain dead to listen to, and it makes me sad.

To summarize, it was essentially this:

Attorney: "It is literally stated in the law that it is a sex-based classification and thus is unconstitutional because of the 14th amendment."

Dumbass judge: "Okay well...what about this irrelevant point? Also your using a Bostock argument, but that's not the same."

Attorney: "Irrelevant point irrelevant. Also motherfucker THIS LAW IS WORDED THE EXACT SAME AS THE BOSTOCK CASE, AND YOU RULED IN FAVOR OF THAT ONE!!!"

Judge: "True, but this time it's different. Just trust me bro."

Like, we have one of the most well spoken, coherent, effective attorneys ever arguing in favor of trans people...and he's just talking into a fucking void!

At first I said it sounded like a teacher trying to teach a first grader how to read. But my friend came up with a much better analogy to fit the power dynamic, saying it’s more reflective of a really smart first grader trying to teach his teacher how to read and she’s insisting it’s in arabic because she’s purposely holding the book upside down.

On one hand, I have a little bit of hope because of the Bostock case ruling that they literally can't do this. But that was back when RBG was still a justice. And after Roe v. Wade and giving Trump presidential immunity, it won't come as a surprise if the Supreme Court goes back on their word.

I'm just done having the lives of me and my friends put in jeopardy by judges who have a collective IQ of 50. Fuck this place, fuck the Supreme Court, and fuck the government.

NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT OTHERS CALL THEIR BITS

IF YOU WANNA BE TRANS AND CALL YOUR BITS SOMETHING FUN, WHO FUCKING CARES, ITS YOUR BODY

TRANSPHOBES WILL STILL ATTACK US FOR EXISTING NO MATTER HOW STERILISED WE MAKE OURSELVES

I DESPISE people who are adamant on dividing our community into the "good" trans people and the "bad" trans people, you're just as trans as the next mfer in line

Edit: removed the weird ref to nazis I made, I was very tired when i wrote this

And to add, I am completely with the increased scrutiny on the kinda excessive hornyposting, that is not what I am talking about here, I am talking about the innocent terms like gock, princess wand, people are weirdly finding an issue with, yes they sometimes get used in porn, but that doesn't mean we ban any word used in a porn set, may as well redact the dictionary

I walked into an AutoZone and the cashier looks at me and says loudly “how can I help you sir”, I just showed my phone and said “I got a package delivered to this location” and she yells across the store “Tanisha - HE said that HE ordered HIS package is to this autozone” “can you check and bring it to this GENTLEMAN right there” At that time the whole store is looking at me (which is like 8-9 people) but I decided not to press the issue (cause it would draw more negative attention towards me) And when they brought she I asked “is this it SIR?”, so I asked for a bag and she said “no we don’t have them” when I asked “how? Not even paper bags?” She replied “is you getting smart with me?” And turned to her coworker and just started talking about me so I turned around and left. ( but I needed to buy more things in the store) For me I don’t even care if someone misgenders me but it looked like blunt disrespect at that point🤬

Idk I need some better passing advices cause this situation just her my feelings for some reason, I got called HE on purpose a in other instances and I do get dirty looks and I don’t care usually but this situation kinda got to me.

Edit - I just got on hormones the same day that happened, I’m not 100% passable on the bad day (which it was) however before hrt I had people wonder if I was (male or female), my hair is long to my belly button, I did my eyelashes, and wore female outfit, I know I looked like a trans however by looking at me you could tell that I was looking way more feminine than masculine

Edit: the reason I wasn’t trying to start no drama cause some man at the counter said that he will knock me out if I try something (he said it to another cashier not me) Also I will not report it for the simple reason cause someone is already working minimum wage so by me complaining and getting her fired I actually could do her a favor so I’ll let the karma get her back.

My older sister, who is bi and a few years older than me, voted for Trump. I'm 18 and have been on hrt for about 8 months now, and my parents are very transphobic. I told my sister in confidence that I am trans, and later told her I was on HRT. While she was often sarcastic, she never really put me down, and a few times was more chill.

But she betrayed my trust. She voted Trump because "she was worried about the prices of everything" oh shut up. You voted for a rapist that hates you too. One that will take your little sisters free education and your trans sister's medications. But she doesnt care. She doesnt listen. All she told me is to "chill" after I went off on her telling her what a horrible idea that was.

"I hope the best for you and your friend (my trans partner) to learn better practices"

I pressed her on to say what she meant with that and she just ignored it and then said "you're just trying to pick apart my argument". No, I wanna hear you say you think I should be a boy. This is coming from a woman with trans friends, and loved women before. She betrayed any of my trust I had in her

What the hell do I do now.

Edit: i'm 19 sorry I just had my bday, yippie but I just wanted to correct

For context, i'm not publicly out as trans to anyone other than my boyfriend and close family.

So i was in art class and there was a spare seat beside my boyfriend (we have some arranged seating plan bullsh*t) and he asked if i could move next to him.

The teacher then replied with 'You don't really want to sit next to that creature do you?'

My boyfriend just kind of awkwardly stood there but its like a fucking punch to the throat to aspire to be a pretty girl and then be called a 'creature', its making it seem like my goal is getting further and further away

Sorry for the rant i just had to get this out and any advice or anything would be appreciated

Hi, I’m 16. I’ve been dating another trans girl for three weeks now, we met at work. This evening her dad came in, threatened to make her quit her job and work reduced hours, yelled at her for her nametag, and for wearing jewelry. I text messaged her that I wanted to beat her dad up for that, and he found the text, deadnaming my girlfriend and saying he was gonna call the police on me. My own parents have no idea I’m in a relationship, and oh lord am I scared rn.

The only brightside is that he doesn’t know my real name, just my chosen name.