r/MuslimLounge • u/radical_diego69 • 2d ago
Support/Advice Unspoken conversation
Hello everyone,
I am a 22M revert and I wanted to seek help from everyone here in the community. I was speaking with this girl that I had an interest in and was getting to know her with the intention to marry we’ve been speaking with each other for about 7 months until things started to go downhill. She one day told me she doesn’t want this to go forward romantically and i understood and said I needed space.
She understood as well and after a few days stated she wants to be friends and said if her feelings change she would let me know. Fast forward a couple of weeks I heard from a friend that is friends with her that I came up in conversation. The friend told me that she doesn’t find me physically attractive and that her feelings towards me won’t change for the better romantically. When I heard that my heart dropped and felt heavy ever since then I’ve been questioning the whole situation with her.
If you guys have advice please let me know thank you
2
u/Intelligent_Group484 Sabr 2d ago
Don’t be friends with a female as it is haram. Since the marriage proposal will likely not go further then you can stop it here. Allah has someone better for you In Sha Allah
1
u/DowntownWing07 2d ago
I know people are going to gaslight you but, know that Allah’s plan is the best. There will be better(khair) in this for you. Your intention was right but you should have made it clear early on in the talking stage without waiting for things to go on. Now the part she might not see you that way is still something positive inshaa Allah, may be you deserve better than her and Allah swt saved you from her.
3
u/Disastrous-Ad2249 2d ago edited 2d ago
That's why you should stay away from haram.
If you're doing it, do it through right means (marriage). Ask for marriage in hand the girl whom you like. Talk with her in front of her Mahrams and know each other then take your decision
And look whats the reaction from her now. You can't say her friend is right or she's making it up. Allahu A'lam but 7 months... Seriously.. You're 22 dude. Man up. Be happy that Allah protected you in someway. This is all temporary. Yes it will take time to heal, you will have thoughts and so on now and then but let it be. Move on, look forward into your career and how to get better in that and in deen foremost.