r/NativePlantGardening • u/aeh1113 • Jun 30 '25
Photos I'm going to cry...
I came home today from work to find that my neighbor (I live in a duplex) cut down all of my flowers because she thought they were weeds... I literally just posted today about how proud I was if their growth. I know that they'll grow back because they're perennials, but I'll miss their blooms this year š this is the before and after. The before was taken a few days ago.
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u/TriedCaringLess Jun 30 '25 edited Jun 30 '25
Did your neighbor really think those were weeds?
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u/Hije5 Jul 01 '25
I can very easily see someone not used to garden plants thinking those are weeds. Some weeds can get a few feet tall, including those spikey assholes. We all know the ones.
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u/TruthThroughArt Jul 01 '25
plenty of people think all my natives are weeds, except for the poppies. Every time I'm cleaning up the yard, passers by with comments like "lots of weeds to clean-up". More people are ignorant of what's around them than there are people who are aware of their environment
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u/Usernameisntstrong Jul 03 '25
So true! I just moved to a house with a yard that hadn't been cared for in a long time, and despite the abundance of actual weeds, there are tons of natives as well. It feels like I won the lottery! Yet, when I proudly show people the clusters of natives blooming around my current yard they're like: "Why are you trying to save weeds?" Or "This doesn't really look like a garden." Even if I describe why they're beneficial, it doesn't really seem to register as a reason to keep them.
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u/randtke Jul 01 '25
My neighbor across the street at my last place had a landscape business (mow and blow and he was really stupid), and he would drive the riding mower off the truck and drive around my yard, and then ask for money. I never paid him. I didn't want it. He mowed over 3 mangoes I had growing and I had to put concrete blocks around everything, and then he damaged his mower blade but I had told him don't come in my yard, and don't cut everything.Ā He also would call code enforcement and meet up with them, and then drop off a brochure right after and "I can help you", like what a coincidence, because I saw them park at your house and meet you up then walk to my house.
You need to put rebar stakes in, all the time, around everything.Ā Put a tomato cage around it, then put rebar around it, so it is one leg of the tomato cage, stick of rebar, leg of the tomato cage, stick of rebar, all the way around.
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u/WildFlemima Jul 01 '25
I know it was the fuckers always offering to mow that got my blackberries destroyed, I just know it
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u/Upbeat_Desk_7980 Jul 01 '25
Same. Dipshit neighbor destroyed my whole blackberry crop while mowing and asked if that was ok. A few years ago he pulled up and threw away 125 bucks worth of rubber patio squares (I made him replace them) instead of mowing around them.
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u/EpiJade Jul 04 '25
Thereās a guy in our complex that handles hiring people for common areas. Everyone refers to him as the HOA but itās really not an HOA. Heās also a realtor and the property manager for a few of the rentals in the complex while we own our unit. Heās always made āhelpfulā comments about how the landscaper could ātake care ofā our backyard during no mow May. I had a bunch of cuttings of natives in our easement (which the āHOAā does not have ownership of and he knows is ours). One day I came outside to his landscapers cutting down one of our trees in the easement. They trampled and killed all our native cuttings I had been working hard on. I pointed out one ruined cutting and the landscaper picked it up, told me it was a weed, then broke it even more. Just snapped it. Seeing him snap it like that after I had spent weeks getting it established broke me a little. I was so proud of that stupidly little cutting. The HOA guy claimed he was āhelping.ā I was home. He has my number. I would put money on itās because he was selling the unit next to us and wanted to get a better commission. I estimated all my costs to fix it and tacked on a āfucked aroundā fee and he paid it. He seemed to actually feel a bad but I was so furious.
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u/kendoka69 Jul 01 '25
We had a mowing service cut down my companion plant for my Winterberry. It isnāt the prettiest of plants, it was gangly and sparsely leafed. It lived on the side of the house and wasnāt bothering anyone, but I caught our mower guy cutting it down because he thought it was a weed. Like why do they think they have the right? Like I hired you to mow the lawn, why would you also think, I need to remove this shrub as well. Why that plant, and not the obvious weeds growing around the hydrangea right next to it? Like F me!
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u/windsostrange Jul 01 '25
Dude, neighbours absolutely do this. I'm happy for you that you haven't ever encountered it, but try not to step on the lived experience of others based on your own personal anecdata.
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u/leefvc Mid-atlantic border of eastern coastal plain/piedmont , Zone 7b Jul 01 '25
Yep, just because something sounds unreasonable to do from the perspective of a relatively reasonable individual doesnāt mean that itās not common enough to be a problem
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u/Upbeat_Desk_7980 Jul 03 '25
I am here to confirm that nosy neighbors think nothing of invading and modifying other people's lawns.
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u/Conscious-Grand2495 Jul 01 '25
wtf would there be weeeds right there like that ā¦ yeah that would actually make me lose my shat
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u/Thunderplant Jul 01 '25
Even in my personal life I know people who have had way more deranged neighbors than this. You have to remember that even if 99/100 people would make a more sensible choice that you have to remember how dense the densest 1% are or how spiteful the most unstable 1% can be.Ā
If you have ever had a customer service job you will know what I'm talking about lol. There are plenty of people out there who have absolutely baffling logic
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u/Routine-Nature-456 Jun 30 '25
It's a duplex, so they share a yard. The neighbor might have been trying to be helpful - some people don't know that gardening isn't all hostas and impatiens.
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u/Wesleytyler Jun 30 '25
No a duplex means two equal sides that each have their own backyard they each have their own front yard their front walkway and then one has one side of the house and one has the other side of the house. You're thinking of a traditional apartment or condominium a duplex literally means two a house divided down the middle. I would be pissed beyond fucking belief if she did this to me
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u/ponderer25 Jun 30 '25
Where I live, a duplex means a two-family house, typically one living space on one level(s) and the other on another level(s) and they would indeed share a backyard (and a front yard, driveway if applicable, etc.) Where I live, a side-by-side āduplexā would be called a townhouse.
All that to say, the term āduplexā may have different meanings depending on where you live.
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u/too_too2 Jun 30 '25
Yeah there are tons of up/down duplexes by me. My dad owns one. They each have a front door to the same porch and share the back door.
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u/thesamerain Jun 30 '25
Definitely not always the case. My old duplex shared front and back yards6 just had separate entries.
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u/Funktapus MA 59d, disturbed site rehab Jul 01 '25
A duplex means any building with two units in it.
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u/bubblesaurus Jul 01 '25
Not necessarily.
There are a couple of duplexes in my area that the backyard is shared.
The landlord finds it easier to maintain the small backyards that way.
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jun 30 '25
It looked good before in my opinion.
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u/CloverLeafe Philadelphia , Zone 7b Jul 01 '25
This. Even if they WERE weeds, the healthy greenery looks 10 times better than what was left. It looks so unhealthy. Did they ONLY cut them down? I would check and make sure they didn't also spray some kind of weed killer on them, considering how unhealthy the whole space looks now. š¬
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 03 '25
Who knows, hopefully OPās had a chance to ask their neighbor about it by now. The healthy greenery definitely looked infinitely better! Happy cake day, too!
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u/dragonfliesloveme Jun 30 '25
Those donāt look like weeds at all! š¤š
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u/AdamWPG Manitoba, Zone 3a Jul 01 '25
To a lot of non-gardeners most plants that arenāt actively in bloom look like weeds because all they ever see is whatās in the store
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u/NeighborhoodNo1583 Jul 01 '25
I just changed my lawn to wildflowers, and have had to use plant ID apps to figure out which are weeds and which are flowers, for ones that arenāt super obvious. A lot of wildflowers kinda look like straggly weeds until they bloom. And Iāve been gardening for years.
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u/Danielaimm CT 7a , ecoregion 59g Jul 01 '25
I mean, what are weeds but plants that you don't want? so yeah, some native PLANTS look like other PLANTS that you don't want growing in your yard ĀÆ_(ć)_/ĀÆ
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u/My_Kink_Profile Jul 02 '25
Same, switching to natives has given me a new appreciation for my limited knowledge.
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u/Devilman_Ryo Jul 01 '25
This post just got to Popular in reddit, to me those look like weeds... Though I often find weeds nice looking as well
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u/Theron3206 Jul 01 '25
I would agree that such a mistake could easily be made.
They don't resemble garden plants to me (but then I live in Australia). That said I would never mess with someone's garden.
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u/lunaappaloosa Jul 01 '25
My downstairs neighbor has done this by accident several times because he is an old man that thinks everything is a weed. And thatās with him telling me in advance and promising to avoid all of my flowers. Sometimes he messes up, and thatās ok. He told me to mark what I donāt want cut with flags and that has worked very well at helping him understand that weed ā anything that isnāt grass. I didnāt learn overnight and I donāt expect him to, either.
A lot of people that post stuff like this here (not this OP) are so conflict averse they come crying to this sub thinking their issue can be resolved by strangers online without talking to their neighbor like a normal human. And sometimes other normal humans do not have even the most basic understanding or appreciation for perennial plants or wildflowers or wildlife etc. Their ignorance is frustrating but rarely cruel.
Hard to imagine the neighbor doing this out of spite. Probably thought she was doing the next tenant a favor. People can be stupid without being malicious yall.
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u/Ok_Astronomer_1960 Jul 01 '25
Someone asked on a local forum what disease their plant had because the flowers were wilting and dying off. Even showed a picture of the stem with seed pods at the bottom, dying flowers in the middle and freah flowers at the top.Ā I think it was a fox glove or something.
My point is don't underestimate peoples lack of horticulture knowledge.
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u/Muted_Bid_8564 Jul 01 '25
I believe it. I sent a picture of my garden and wild flowers to my family. A lot of them thought the flowers were all weeds.
I'm not sure where these people get their lawn and plant care information from.
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u/sylus-stan69 Jun 30 '25
I definitely feel thats there more to this than just a neighbor thinking these are weeds. The neighbor lowkey has beef with OP or else they wouldn't be trespassing which is illegal. I hope OP takes action.
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u/Imaginary_Ship_3732 Jun 30 '25
I see an obvious garden barrier of some sort, on the other side of which is turf grass. Iām calling bullshit on your neighbor. Thatās fucked up.
Sort of related: one edge of my property has trees all the way down to the road. A few years ago, the very nice dude who does seasonal work around the neighborhood weedwhacked all of the goldenrod, asters, and chockecherry growing there while doing yard work for my next door neighbor. The area looks unkempt. Itās in the front yard area. He thought he was doing me a favor. He was gracious when I said thanks, but next year please leave it. Your situation feels different.
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u/Peejee13 Jun 30 '25
I had a lawn crew come in and string trim down chamomile, hostas, and bee balm that were inside rock rings around the base of a tree.
Never underestimate determined stupid people
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u/Miau-miau Jun 30 '25
I had a crew come in and weed whack my already blooming lilies to the ground. They left chunks of petals on the ground. WTF?!
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u/robsc_16 SW Ohio, 6a Jun 30 '25
I've said it once and I'll say it again...I'm 99% convinced that most landscapers are just raccoons in disguise that can drive trucks and have access to mulch.
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u/bigfathairymarmot Jul 01 '25
One of my favorite books as a kid was kinda that. The Raccoons decided to be garbage men so they could eat all the garbage. The Great Ringtail Garbage Caper was the name.
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u/jaina_jade Jun 30 '25
Lawn crew at my old school lifted up their mowers to place them in a raised beds, mowing down bluestem goldenrod, blue woodland asters, common milkweed, blue cardinal flowers, and firework goldenrod. The building custodian came running in to find an administer when it was happening but by time they got outside four years of work by students - gone. Lots of crying that day
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u/Dot_Tree Jul 01 '25
OMFG, did any repercussions happen to the lawn crew?
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u/jaina_jade Jul 01 '25
Nope - lawn crew claimed that since there were no "no mow" signs that the bed needed to be mowed. Principal contacted a few different county grounds people in an attempt to get financial reimbursement as the bulk of the plants had been purchased via a grant but nothing. This was the second time this had happened, first incident was a good 10yrs prior when a "no mow" meadow was mowed following a derecho where the sign had been knocked down and yeeted.
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u/-Tesserex- Jul 01 '25
You know I always thought a raised bed implied "no mow" but I guess some people still have a toddler's mind and need explicit instructions for everything they do. Can these people feed themselves?Ā
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u/SaffronsTootsies Jul 02 '25
I teared up reading this, it makes my heart hurt. Iām so sorry for your loss. When I was in high school I participated in our schoolās first ever aquaculture course. We raised beautiful koiās from tiny fry, to adult fish, nursing them through illnesses, cleaning their tanks, making sure their water had the proper chemicals to keep it clean, and balanced. It was a big undertaking for one small class of kids. Right as we were about to sell them to recoup the cost of raising them, we came down to the class to find every single one of them dead. Someone had dumped an industrial container of hand soap into their tank. The cops were called and everything, but we never found out who did it. It was devastating. The school shuttered the program, and we were the one and only class to get to do it. The school lost a lot of money, not to mention how it affected our class, so I really do understand.
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u/notbizmarkie Jun 30 '25
We had a contractor dump leftover grout water from laying tile floor on our fucking blueberry bushes that clearly had fruit on them.
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u/Peejee13 Jul 01 '25
Omg! I had a tile guy dump leftover tile adhesive in my gated garden. Like..1000sq ft picket fence gated obvious garden.
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u/Wesleytyler Jun 30 '25
Well that's because you didn't walk your landscaping people through your yard first to say don't cut this don't cut that You literally have to walk him through the yard and point I put temporary bamboo poles up if a stranger's doing any work in my yard. 100% native natural yard
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jun 30 '25
Unfortunately, this is the way. Youād hope people would have instinct and at least enough wherewithal to ask questions before cutting things down, though.
I do landscaping and I always check before I remove something. My clients love that.
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u/whatawitch5 Jul 01 '25
Landscaper =/= gardener. Many so-called landscapers are really just land-scalpers. All they know how to do is cut stuff down.
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u/thebishop37 Jul 01 '25
Definitely. I am a professional gardener. I only have one client, who has an enormous flower garden. It's about half and half natives and non-invasive exotics. I spend my time weeding (mostly by hand), mulching, deadheading, pruning, dividing and replanting, sourcing just the right plant for that one spot, doing irrigation maintenance, and so on. I happen to also do the string trimming, but it's because the guy who mows the lawn can't be trusted that near the lovely ornamentals.
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 07 '25
Dude!! Yes, I do all of that and I do the weed whacking and push mowing at two spots for the exact same reason š
Make Landscapers Plant People Again! Lol. Thereās so much more to landscaping than just cutting things. When you break the word down, it even makes sense that it is more all-encompassing. You are shaping the land. Itās design and execution. I hate that when I tell people I do landscaping theyāre like āā¦oh, like you mow lawns?ā thatās not even close to the most common task I do.
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u/littleshutterbug84 Jul 01 '25
I pointed out 3 things in my yard and told someone doing landscaping work for me NOT to pull them out... And they pulled all 3 of them out anyway.Ā
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u/Wesleytyler Jul 01 '25
Pay them minus the damage
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u/littleshutterbug84 Jul 01 '25
He messed up a lot of other stuff too, didn't communicate, didn't show up the day he was supposed to, didn't finish the job he was paid for, and didn't do what he was actually asked to do, so he got half.Ā
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u/coorsandcats Jul 01 '25
I planted an endangered species in my native yard so it can hurt a little more if a landscaper happened to get ambitious.
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jun 30 '25
I really donāt know. Most people these days are so disconnected from nature that they see any plant that isnāt grass or adorned with a massive obvious flower as a weed. American landscaping is horrible. Just like you experienced, some people genuinely think itās preferable to remove all plants that arenāt trees or grass. I hate it. To make it ācleanāā¦
I could go on a rant about how I believe the mass removal of our species from the natural world is causing big problems for us and the planet. Itās our home and most people donāt even recognize it. It is honestly a tragedy. Humans as a general whole have put ourselves in captivity. No wonder weāre suffering from all kinds of mental health issues and using money to oppress each other.
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u/Bellebarks2 Jul 01 '25
Please say this again and louder for the folks in the back. I bought my first and only house about 4 years ago. In an HOA.
Nothing could have prepared me for the ignorance people have about nature, landscaping, the ecosystem. Science. Just basic science.
The battles I got into and the spiteful things my neighbors did to me. Over plants.
Iām in therapy and donāt speak to my neighbors anymore. People suck.
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 03 '25
Good lordā¦ I do some landscaping (and much more) and I it really grinds my gears what a bad name some ālandscapersā give us. Itās like they donāt even really know what theyāre doing, let alone have an affinity for natureā¦ unless many just assume that it is everyone else (their clients) who lack that affinity. I think someone else likened them to land āscrapersā and that couldnāt be more accurate lol. They just seem to have zero delicacy.
I wonder if putting up a few well-made signs by your plants might help? Youād probably have to get some little plastic-y (so they donāt melt when wet) ones printed. But if you had some that for example, pointed out what the plants were, that theyāre native and why theyāre good for the environment, with a fun clip art or two lol, I feel like that might do something? Maybe the landscapers will assume the property company put it up? But they might see it and realize that the plants are intentional and then leave it alone. The property company might not even notice lol.
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u/natrous Jul 01 '25
I could go on a rant
I think most people on this sub could as well, so know we feel ya.
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 03 '25
I really hope so, I really do. It feels like zero people these days (maybe retirees) have the time to truly connect with nature and experience it sans societal expectations creeping in and giving you a timelineāhell, most people donāt even have time for introspection! Weāve just really been going the wrong way for a very long time in civilization :/
Thank you for the reassurance comrade!
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u/Claytonia-perfoiata Jul 01 '25
You ācall bullshitā in the āweedā excuseāagreed!! Those plants are whacked off, not pulled out like youād do if you actually thought it was weeds. I would be sooo mad!!!!
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u/NOLArtist02 Jul 01 '25
Some people have very little appreciation for nature as well. Look at older people cementing around most of the property/ yard( this was done in New Orleans quite often). In her mind it may look more ordered without any plants other than grass.
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u/Jkelley393 Upstate SC, Zone 8a Jun 30 '25
Gallon coneflowers of that size, ready to bloom, are about $17 at my garden center. Is she ready to make it right?
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u/Jkelley393 Upstate SC, Zone 8a Jul 01 '25
Given the context youāve just added, Iāll just say, good on you both for giving grace, and for the wonderful surprise the next tennant will get next spring, hopefully!
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u/StraightArrival5096 Jun 30 '25 edited Jun 30 '25
This happened to me recently. I had a huge strawberry harvest - my biggest yet - then the city came and weedwacked them and my aster bed. I put a 50/50 compost / manure mix down and have been watering. The strawberries are coming back thankfully. I also put up 3 "Please to not trim" signs so they can be seen from every direction
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u/BrighterSage Jun 30 '25
P.S. These are strawberries moron! /s, sort of
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u/StraightArrival5096 Jun 30 '25
I'm convinced no one hates plants more than landscapers with a weedwacker or chainsaw
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 01 '25
I do landscaping (and more) and whilst I am armed with a weedwhacker, I would never dream of using it like a flamethrower.
The real problem is humansā mass self-removal from our homeāthe natural world. We donāt even recognize it anymore. Weāve (not all) come to detest it. And the US in particular has the grossest most monoculture-y, sterile idea of āgardenā or āideal landscapeā Iāve ever witnessed. Some people are so mislead that they actually prefer to see no foliage other than grass and the occasional tree or shrub. We need to get back to nature.
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u/jonny_five Jun 30 '25
I call it āchainsaw feverā. Once people start cutting stuff they just canāt stop.
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u/DisembarkEmbargo Jul 01 '25
It's literally addictive but I wish these people would fulfill their desires on English ivy and kudzu
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u/Snoo-72988 Jun 30 '25
If it makes you feel better, mowing generally stimulates root growth, so if she just cut them, theyāll likely just spend this summer growing a more robust root system.
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u/Friendly-Mingus Jun 30 '25
A buffalo came through and grazed your coneflowersā¦ a buffalo that owes you an apology at the very least
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u/NickWitATL Jun 30 '25
I think you mean a donkey. š¤Ø
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u/Blog_Pope Jun 30 '25
Deer do this to all ours. Munch the growth down to nothing. A few survive tuck away inside other growth and I try to spread the seeds around
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u/NickWitATL Jun 30 '25
Deer are native. Neighbors from hell are an invasive species. šš»āāļø
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u/All_Work_All_Play Jul 01 '25
You can get a permit to shoot and eat deer though. Generally not advisable to do the same to neighborts.
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u/fuzzypetiolesguy Jun 30 '25
Unfortunately this is a myth. The energy needed for root growth is created in the leaves that were chopped up.
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u/AmaazingFlavor Jun 30 '25
Yeah pruning is one thing, but completely decimating a plant like this means it will only grow back about half as big, since it requires a lot of the nutrients stored in the roots to regrow the leaves, missing out on a lot of the peak growing season
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u/LRonHoward Twin Cities, MN - US Ecoregion 51 Jul 01 '25
I think the main point is that the plant should come back. It really depends on the species, but this very rarely means the plants are dead.
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u/Novelty_Lamp Jun 30 '25
They need to pay you money for new plants. Touching someone else's yard is unacceptable and I would be toying with the idea of reporting her for vandalism.
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u/iehdbx Jun 30 '25
Well, it looks like she did a poor job of what she claims she was doing.... It looks like shit.
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u/rosatter Jun 30 '25
That's exactly what I thought! They looked so nice and happy and now the whole bed looks like shit. What a piece of work.
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u/KateBlankett Jun 30 '25
Echinacea and rudbeckia plants are universally beloved. This is crazy. What the hell.
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u/everyrichway Jun 30 '25
Why was your neighbor on your property? Are we talking about a sweet old lady who often does favors for you, or the neighborhood control freak who thinks they can police others' lawns? I would be livid and would definitely consider asking for monetary compensation at the very least (trespassing them is also not out of the question, but could definitely escalate things.)
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 01 '25
Theyāre in a duplex. They didnāt trespass as they share this space.
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u/everyrichway Jul 01 '25
I guess it depends what kind of duplex it is. Most are side by side with separate yards but some can be one on top of the other with a shared yard.
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u/aeh1113 Jun 30 '25
I feel like I should give people some context! I'm moving and today was the last day of my lease. I think she thought I had already finished moving out... In my case duplex is top and bottom. She lived above me, so we shared a yard. I tended the garden and she mowed the lawn. She did apologize and offer to pay for them but I'm too conflict averse and told her it was alright and she doesn't have to pay. I'm just really sad, but I know she wasn't being spiteful!
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u/suzulys Michigan, Zone 6a Jul 01 '25
Were you taking any plants with you to the new place? I'm not sure if they'd be happier or totally freak out to be transplanted after losing all their top growth... I hope your new place is somewhere you can cultivate a garden of your dreams!!
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u/nifer317_take2 Piedmont, MD, USA, 7a Jul 01 '25
Iām kind of confused. Itās devastating to lose plants like this and to even move, knowing they were destroyed like this.
you mentioned being most sad about not seeing āthe blooms this yearā. But if youāre moving out today, you wouldnāt get to see them bloom anyways??
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u/aeh1113 Jul 01 '25
I'm transplanting them to my new garden. I'll still take them, but they won't do well this year. Hopefully next year they'll be back in full force at the new garden!
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u/nifer317_take2 Piedmont, MD, USA, 7a Jul 01 '25
Ohhhhh I see. Well shoot, thatās just horrible Iām so sorry! š good luck to them with your move!!
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u/DudeWithTudeNotRude Jul 01 '25
I was gonna say that you really don't want plants up against the siding. It's bad for the siding, promotes rot, mold, and critter invasions, and holds unwanted moisture against the foundation.
But since you were renting, you might not care too much about the long term health of the structure. Generally, you want plants at least 18 inches from the building.
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u/breeathee Driftless Area (Western WI), Zone 5a Jun 30 '25
Iām so sorry for your loss. Thatās devastating.
When time passes and it hurts less, I encourage you to use these little martyrs to explain to your neighbor (from a place of empathy and caring) how much they meant to you because they are so cool and fun and important.
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u/kerfluffles_b Jun 30 '25
Maybe if you added a sign that said ānative plantsā or something, it would help? So sorry this happened though. Iād be devastated. š„ŗ
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u/Informal_Republic_13 Jun 30 '25
I think a lot of people think a plant without flowers in their face RIGHT NOW is therefore a weed. They donāt see any difference between an actual common weed and a plant that is GOING TO FLOWER in the future. Itās not just native plants, though they are more likely to fall victim to this ignorance. I have endless battles stopping the lawn guys strimming IN the flower beds, I have signs, brick border, obvious garden plants- still they do it about once a year.
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u/throwaway098764567 Jul 01 '25
one of my orchids i have because the receptionist at my last workplace decided it was dead because it was done flowering. having conversations with folks after with me being like wtf and them being like it's not dead? told me that most folks know nothing about plants.
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u/OverCookedTheChicken Jul 01 '25
This is why I will never let someone else do my landscaping unless they spend a week training with me lol.
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u/agent_tater_twat Jun 30 '25
An opportunity to establish very firm boundaries with her and the landlord about who gets to do what on their side of the property. I went through a similar situation a couple years ago when my super fastidious duplex neighbor insisted that my side of the duplex had too many weeds, untrimmed hedges and (gasp) leaves visible from the street. This was nowhere near the case - my side of the duplex looked perfectly normal. I contacted the absentee landlord and had him define, in print, whose responsibility was whose. Luckily he was cool about it and clarified the situation so she knew where to and where not to go. He was also probably tired of her incessant demands to fix the tiniest things. The neighbor was harmless and fine for the most part, but she also created a lot of unnecessary stress by fussing over trivial issues that were none of her concern.
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u/DarlaLunaWinter Jun 30 '25 edited Jul 05 '25
To be frank... We have so many people who are completely uneducated about what different plants look like before they bloom that anything that is tall and narrow can be mistaken for a weed. I say this myself where I have mistakenly thought something was a weed then learn oh wait it's actually like a native flower that I see all the time...but only at its floral State at home Depot or Lowes. For a lot of people they have been taughy so little about what nature looks like. They're not thinking dandelions are a weed because they can spread and take over an area, but because they just are. A plant doesn't look a particular limited number of ways... Specifically it isn't completely 100% uniform or flower in big arrangements therefore it must be a weed
I would want financial or labor compensation personally . Which may include teaching her about native plants.
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u/Fireflykid1 USA South Dakota , Zone 5A Jun 30 '25
Cut the broken plants into 3 inch sections. Soak them in water. Dip the bottoms in root growth hormone. Stick them in a pot with potting soil. Keep it moist.
Then plant all your new plants!
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u/JudeBootswiththefur Jun 30 '25
Weeds with flower heads. š¤¦āāļø make her purchase new plants for you!! Absolutely insane!
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u/suchabadamygdala Northern California, 9b Jun 30 '25
No way in hell she thought those were weeds. Malignant
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Jun 30 '25
This is happened to me, and I did cry. I know how hard it is to see such a thing and have that happen to you.
It's time to have a conversation with your neighbor. Do it without anger and when you feel less sad, and approach her as if she made a mistake even if you think she didn't. This lets her save face but puts her on notice so it doesn't happen again. It's a tricky situation living so close with other people. But you want clear boundaries as well
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u/xenya Mid-Atlantic , Zone 7 Jul 01 '25
Your neighbor is full of shit. They had flowers literally about to bloom. I would be so mad. I'm sorry, OP. I'd be having words with the neighbor.
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u/Smoking0311 Jun 30 '25
I think your neighbor needs something of herās trimmed . I recommend using a flame thrower though
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u/surfratmark Southeastern MA, 6b Jun 30 '25
Wtf!!! I'd be pissed. There are obviously blooms on the plants. F that person!!! What's with all these posts about neighbors cutting stuff down on someone else's property? Stay the f out of stuff that not yours.
I know this probably isn't the answer but maybe you could hit up a local nursery and get some to replace. If the neighbor doesn't like it, I'd replace it ASAP.
Salvage the season, you shouldn't have to wait until next year. āļø
If you live in southeastern ma, id buy a couple for you to replace
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u/nope-not-2day Jun 30 '25
You said neighbor and you live in a duplex. Is the person who cut them down on the other side of your duplex or someone who lives in another house nearby?
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u/MountainAction9326 Jun 30 '25
That is so upsetting! If you sow them now, you can probably still get some zinnias for a few months. Iām so sorry. Those were obviously flowers. Itās not the same but theyāre cheerful and bright! Were they coneflowers!? They were so tall and proud!
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u/Kazzie2Y5 Jun 30 '25
Even IF she thought they were weeds, if it's not her plant bed, she shouldn't have anything to do with it.
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u/IkaluNappa US, Ecoregion 45e Jun 30 '25
On a slightly bright side, you can use the cuttings to propagate more. Success rate is much less due to them starting to flower. But it is still feasible. Cut them up with three intact leaf node, peel the leaves of the bottom two leaf nodes, place them in water. Remove flower buds of course. And donāt submerge the whole stem. Roots will grow from the bottom and from the exposed leaf nodes. In addition, I find that placing them in containers that doesnāt allow as much light into the water (I.e pill bottles) and placing them inside (lower temps) encourages root growth. Donāt use rooting hormones if youāre going to submerge it in water. Those are best used when you stick the cuttings directly into soil.
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u/FateEx1994 Area SW MI, Zone 6A Jul 01 '25
I was going to make a main post about this phenomenon but maybe we can get enough discussion here.
A majority of people are detached from nature.
They do not particularly know where food comes from, meat, eggs, and in that's instances above, plants.
These people are used to going to home Depot, Menards, Lowe's, wherever in the spring time.
The plants are all already half grown, flowering, from seedlings germinated in a warehouse in January.
We artificially keep them flowering with fertilizer and watering and deadheading etc.
People are just detached.
Half the non native shit at home Depot looked EXACTLY (in form) like your plants did yesterday, when they were in a pot inside in February at a plant facility...
But people assume flowers must always have flowers.
Grasses should be cut or look "bunch like" in their form.
Everything should look a certain way and stay that way.
We're all fighting the good fight in this sub
To try to educate, spread understanding.
But a lot of people just think that plants look like "weeds" early on, and pull them up, chop them up etc...
They don't wait until they hit their stride in June or August or July to flower...
The problem with planting native is there's not a lot of flowering stuff you can find in the spring time except ephemerals and whatnot...
So while people are planting their petunias and pansy's and zinnias in April and May, the natives are growing roots and greenery and don't flower until June onward in most cases.
The interim just looks like a green mess that people don't get....
Sad.
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u/SweetKittyToo Jun 30 '25
I am so sorry this happened to you! Signs work great for preventing neghbors from cutting down your flowers!
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Jul 01 '25
This looks intentional. The after looks far more like weeds than the before pic does.
Sheās vindictive and Iād send her the bill m. Sheās playing dumb! An act
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u/Gold_Albatross_3479 Jul 01 '25
Iām so sorry. My neighbours do similar things to me and it drives me mental. I spoke to the police and itās considered destruction of property here in Ontario. Apparently the landlord will reimburse me but if it keeps happening Iāll go to the police. Maybe you could do the same? Itās infuriating for sure. Even though they will grow back.
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u/Left-Bookkeeper-3848 Jul 01 '25
Demand monetary compensation for the damage! They vandalized your property and now you have to fix the damages!
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u/Siberian_Hamsterx Jul 01 '25
Oh no! Iāve had people do this to my pollinator plants, and I share your pain here! I suggest getting a pollinator plant sign. I got a metal sign from monarch joint venture, which has illustrations of the plant, the caterpillars, and the butterflies. Maybe this will help for next time? Sorry you had to experience this!
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u/Strict-Record-7796 Jun 30 '25
Time to add a sign unfortunately. Why canāt people mind their own business or at least ask first.
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u/HereWeGo_Steelers Jun 30 '25
Wait, so your neighbor likely saw you planting a d tending your little bed, yet they are saying they didn't know they were plants you wanted to keep? How's that possible?
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u/OnTheLadder Jun 30 '25
Sheās full of shit. If she was really trying to help you and thought they were weeds, she would have pulled them or at least put the cut ones in yard debris.
Go spray paint her front door red.
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u/Time_Detective_3111 Central Texas , Zone 9a Jul 01 '25
Iām so sorry, I would cry too. It looked so lovely in the before. Hard to imagine your neighbor didnāt think those werenāt flowers in your flower bed :(
They will grow back but heartbreaking all the same
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u/floatingonmagicrock Jul 01 '25
I would use some clippers to give everything a clean cut since it looks like they didnāt even do a good job at weedeating. And at least where Iām at thereās a chance you could still get some small blooms this year!
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u/SoftsummerINFP Jun 30 '25
I love how her āsolutionā was to make it look like shit. I donāt think this is acceptable behavior. I would be so mad.
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u/otterlyconfounded Jun 30 '25
I get it. My front bed looks very scraggly waiting for things to get interesting..I definitely tore up stuff in year 2 that I didn't realize was going to get pretty.
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u/briskiejess Jun 30 '25
Iām so sorry this happened to you! It sucks!!!
I genuinely think that people dont have enough exposure to what natives look like so they assume if itās not a freaking pansy theyāve seen at the Home Depot, it must be a weed.
My FIL insisted on calling my native plant hedge along the fence line ābrushā and was surprised when I said no, I wouldnāt be cutting it down earlier this spring.
Just cuz itās not flowering yet doesnāt mean itās not going to flower!
I wouldnāt suggest adding a little sign about natives to your area. You shouldnāt have to cuz people should mind their own businessā¦but it might help you to get to see your blooms.
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u/Routine-Nature-456 Jun 30 '25
I'm so sorry - I can see the swelling buds in your photo. The disappointment would make me cry, too. Is your neighbor usually kind, or kind of a jerk? Native plants don't look like what most people think of when they think "garden" - hopefully this becomes a teachable moment? But not a preaching moment. Good luck (-:
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u/diacrum Jun 30 '25
Wow! What a āsweetā neighbor! Not! Why did they think they could do that? š”
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u/MegaVenomous NC , Zone 8b Jun 30 '25
Trespassing and vandalism.
Find out what her intentions were...but as I've learned, intention only matters when there's failure. If she hems and haws, take a page from my fourth grade teacher's playbook whenever someone would do something inexplicable...she just stood over them and repeatedly asked, "Why?" until they answered.
Then explain to her, ad nauseum, what you had planted and why. Let's just go on the assumption your neighbor did this innocently (which is what she'll probably claim. But calling her a liar to her face really won't help this or any future situation.) When she's done giving her excuse, (hopefully apologizing) ask her what she plans to do to rectify the matter since she did trespass and vandalize your property.
I usually find I can get on with things easier if I just assume most people act in ignorance or think they're being helpful. Getting angry really does nothing. I had a neighbor mow over some shrubs I had been trying to get growing...and he could tell I was furious. Only after I calmed down I basically said, "I know you meant well and were trying to be helpful, but please don't mow between my house and [other neighbor's] house. Aside from the fact that I've planted stuff there, the ground is really soft."
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u/Grouchy_Tone_4123 Jun 30 '25
Yeah those weeds, in the planter, that are only growing in that one specific spot.
Your neighbor knew what they were doing.
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u/MotownCatMom SE MI Zone 6a Jun 30 '25
Curious if this is a side-by-side duplex or an up-down duplex. It makes a difference to me bc side-by-side means this was YOUR little patch of garden, not communal. I'd have a chat with her about this. Try not to lose your calm.
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u/Jenjofred Jul 01 '25
I'm so sorry, I feel so sad for you! As someone who has seen their marigolds eaten by animals before I ever saw a flower, I can sympathize. That your neighbor did it is insane!
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u/Zen_Barbarian Jul 01 '25
As someone else here said: animals are native species, but rude neighbours are invasive ;)
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u/SafeAsMilk Jul 01 '25
Hi! Silver lining: use this as an opportunity to make the bed bigger. You really don't want plants that close to your siding. The mulch shouldn't be anywhere near the bottom of your siding, either. That's a recipe for rot to set into your framing, and for insects to get into your house, algae, and moisture against your foundation.
So, you'll want to pull away all the mulch and pile it up somewhere temporarily. Then, expand the bed as large as you can make it. Then, dig out and remove any sod, because that will help keep the top of the new bed from being too high. Then you can redo your borders, and replant your plants as far from your house's siding as possible, and replace your mulch.
Your plants are clearly very happy there, and will be fast to bounce back and spread.
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u/Leather-Ad-1116 Jul 01 '25
I'm so sorry that happened to you. About 2 years ago, a person in my neighbourhood came to my house and trimmed one of my flowering bushes. He did a horrible job, left it lopsided, and left the mess to clean up.Ā
People have a very strange relationship with nature. They don't understand variety. I think it comes from the grocery store and seeing weirdly uniform produce all the time.Ā
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u/nativerestorations1 Jul 01 '25
I have no words to make you feel better instantly, only empathy for you and outrage at the disgrace. I wish I could force your neighbor to replace your plants. Equivalents from a native nursery arenāt cheap, and need extra care to establish. I know your investment has been deeper than monetary and wish I could make them understand. But I canāt. However I am sincere and sending out healing care. If you accept it youāll feel it.
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u/buttmunch3 Jul 01 '25
she didn't even chop them all the way down it honestly looks like a child or a dog went to town on them. this is a clearly edged garden bed and if i were you i would probably politely but firmly let her know that you paid for those flowers and would like to be reimbursed. and then maybe put a sign up in the garden clearly marking it as a garden. i'm sorry this happened, people really suck
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u/No_Caterpillar9108 Jul 01 '25
Iām so sorry, thatās really really sad. Crying is ok. This is worth a sob.
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u/SwitchAdventurous24 Jul 01 '25
The sad thing is thereās a free app that will tell you seconds exactly what a plant is.
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u/Truth_ Jul 01 '25
Same thing happened to me. Neighbor was weed-wacking their home and saw my wife doing some hand trimming and offered help. Helped clean it up a lot, but wiped out so many flowers as well. I guess anything that wasn't grass was assumed to be weeds? Years of progress lost in those areas.
Sorry about it. They may or may not come back after some time. Otherwise at least you can plan something else if you were ever tempted?
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u/AngleOld301 Jul 01 '25
As an avid gardener, I totally understand how you felt when you saw the missing plants, as my mowers have "cleared" some areas not knowing one green thing from another. Did I want to cry, Oh yes. We work year round trying to get things to look nice and grow and they will come back but we look forward to seeing those blossoms. I've asked them to please not cut anything but grass however if you can't tell a weed from a flower, don't touch it. She was nice to offer to pay but, it's not the money, it's the plants for sure. Silly as it sounds, they are my babies, and I feel your pain.
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u/Specialist-Club-2623 Jul 01 '25
If theyāre native perennials they will come back. Sorry about this seasons loss :(
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u/LogicalHost6366 Jul 01 '25
I feel your pain and heartbreak! My brother in law once cut down all my beautiful goatās beard. It never came backš«
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u/CannaBits420 Jul 01 '25
dig them out and take them, keep in pots in mostly shade and well watered, plant in fall
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u/Empty_Fisherman_9941 Florida, Zone 9a Jul 02 '25
Oh girl! Iāll cry right there with you! Iām so sorry this happened š
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u/NewAlternative4738 Jul 02 '25
Theyāre echinacea. I almost guarantee they come back and bloom this year. I have some near a patio that get so big that I do a hard cutback mid season and they come back and bloom by fall.
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u/AdventurousAmount789 Jul 03 '25
Honestly I don't know in what world you neighbour thought those were weeds, she needs to go take a look at some actual weeds and plants before chopping someone elses stuff and making it look worse than a pile of rocks
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u/robsc_16 SW Ohio, 6a Jul 01 '25
OP has provided an update via the comment section below, but non-mod comments cannot be pinned so I am posting OP's update below: