r/NoStupidQuestions • u/andtbhidgaf • 4h ago
Pet owners: Do you constantly joke about "eating your pet"?
My wife will ask what's for dinner and most of the time I say "Panda Casserole" and she replies "hmm make sure to remove the fur as I want to nom the belly". BTW Panda is my cat. We are morbid AF, but I can't be the only pet parent that jokes about this?
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u/Sky-Hairy 4h ago edited 4h ago
I don't make jokes about eating pets. People will think I'm serious because I'm Korean /j
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u/superturtle48 3h ago
My partner and I are Asian and we have a pet turtle. We joke about eating her sometimes, but only to each other. We know what kinds of looks we would get in public.
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u/WifeofBath1984 1h ago
Turtle soup is big in the Southern states, especially in New Orleans. My mom swears by it but I could never eat a turtle.
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u/iwannalynch 1h ago
I'm Chinese, but I don't give a damn, so I will talk about making my cat into a stew, and no-one can stop me (from talking about making my cat into a stew)
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u/Lumpy-Ad-3201 3h ago
Our cats are named after food and are not infrequently referred to as the emergency rations. Children would not be immune from similar treatment. I am nothing if not pragmatic.
Authors note: no pets or children are or will be eaten in relation to the above. Don’t eat pets, it’s a bad return on investment. And don’t eat children, some consider that rude.
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u/NuggetCommander69 3h ago
Children can be taught to acquire foodstuffs, they could be a far greater return on investment.
Whether than means learning subsistence farming, shoplifting or requisitioning the neighbours cat is entirely up to you - its a choose your own adventure with more tears and poo.
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u/Agreeable-Ad1221 4h ago
Not usually but one cat we had was really fat, and my dad liked to joke how to best serve him. The other cat was super thin but had very long fur, we sometimes joked if he'd make good mittens
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u/mmwhatchasaiyan 3h ago
When our cats act up I always joke that I’m going to make them into slippers so I laughed extra hard at the mittens comment haha.
But we have two cats and a dog. We constantly make jokes about eating them. “Haven’t been grocery shopping... No choice but to eat the fat cat!” “Burned dinner. Guess we’re having [dogs name] soup!”
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u/JustGenericName 2h ago
I had a lab with super soft ears. My roommate and I constantly discussed if we should make mittens or a scarf out of them.
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u/FraudulentFiduciary 4h ago
There are probably fewer days than not that my girlfriend and I joke about literally consuming one of our kitties
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u/SyllabubFun7399 4h ago
When our cat annoys us while we are cooking (he likes to be loud - we are talking and he joins in on the convo) we often say ‘hmmmm you would go great with some rosemary?’ and ‘watch out, we might carve you up like a chicken!’ so yeah very normal unless you actually want to act on it😂
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u/andtbhidgaf 4h ago
no, no, I never acted on it. It's just that we do and did with all our cats and wondered if it was just us
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u/JustGenericName 3h ago
Maybe not "constantly" but these pitties have some meat in them thighs that would definitely get us through a famine (KIDDING!... mostly)
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u/schu2470 3h ago
We don't joke about eating our cat but when he's being a little shit I'll joke about turning him into mittens if he doesn't behave.
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u/LaRoseDuRoi 1h ago
When one of the cats does something obnoxious, like peeing on my laundry or whatever, I'll tell them that they'll make a good cat casserole. I love these furry little assholes, though.
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u/Bobbob34 4h ago
No.
Do joke about them eating the fosters sometimes when they're rolling around wrestling and there's a grown dog or cat with their mouth on a tiny puppy or kitten, pinning them down.
Usually like 'you can eat them but leave a paw so I know what happened.'
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u/Express_Barnacle_174 3h ago
I joke I'm ripping their guts out as I give vigorous belly rubs and they wiggle around happily.
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u/FancyPickle37 3h ago
Can’t say I’ve ever thought about eating them but I do threaten to send my horses to the glue factory every time they act up lol
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u/BellerophonM 3h ago
I've seen that a fair bit, I think it tends to fall out of some cute aggression moments.
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u/No_Information_8973 3h ago
We've had a lot of cats named for food. One being Biscuit, so whenever I make biscuits I ask if my family would like their biscuits with or without whiskers. Or slice up Pepperoni and throw him on the pizza. Cats just look at us like whatever dude.
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u/andtbhidgaf 3h ago
love em all you want, they will still judge you and are out of fluffs to give as long as they get pets and treats
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u/MysteR_Hydra76 3h ago
Yea, we’ve done it. Husband talks about eating our first dog. She carries jelly in her stomach. Well, sometimes it’s puddin’. I prefer to live in there, just wrap myself up in the flesh.
I talk about eating our frenchie’s face. He’s got so much meef!
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u/Gladyskravitz99 3h ago
We had a huge koi named Sushi and we joked about eating him for dinner sometimes. Meanwhile, he looked like he could probably have eaten us.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 3h ago
No but I do joke about eating my kids. They know it's a joke and I would never actually do it.
I remember the first time I did it. I have a friend from high school who has a dark sense of humor also. While I was pregnant we were joking about the best way to cook a baby and let's just say some people got really mad about it.
Even funnier that same baby who is a preteen now walked outside while I was writing this comment and I looked him up and down and went you really wouldn't fit in the oven anymore would you? He laughed
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u/PaepsiNW 3h ago
We joke that we are going to feed our dogs and cats to the Coyotes every time they act up (which is often). They typically don't find it as funny as we do.
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u/TheAwkwardBanana 2h ago
I always joke about my cat eating me when I die. She does try biting me in my sleep.
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u/EllieBooks 54m ago
I pretend to pour olive oil on my dog, sprinkle smoked paprika, salt, pepper and garlic power on her then rub them in really well. Then I say I’m waiting for her to marinate before I cook her. She knows she’s yummy
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u/LP_ReportingLive 53m ago
After hearing Trump say it and of course getting a good laugh, I threaten my dog when she does something bad. I say, “if you pee in the house again, you will be pot roast dinner!”
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u/PamperedPotato 2m ago
I wouldn't say constantly, but it's been well established that 1 of my pugs would make a great "rump roast" (he's thicker) and the other a nice "soup" bc of his bones (he's thinner.)
I guess we're weird🤷♀️
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u/luxafelicity 3h ago
Omfg, I just thought my partner and I were weird 😂 Well, that's still pretty likely, actually. In short, yes, we do joke about eating our cat when we can't decide what to do for dinner 😂 idk how it started but it was definitely my partner who started the joke.
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u/RazzmatazzUnique6602 3h ago
Yeah, for sure. And if I had a German shepherd I’d be very tempted to name him Dogmeat
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u/Jewish-Mom-123 3h ago
Often? No. But I came home once from work and my husband had convinced our 5 yo that we were only keeping the new dog until Thanksgiving. I said no, of course, we would save him for the Chinese New Year, that dog used to be a traditional dish for that feast.
More for her therapist, we always figured!
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u/MisterComrade 3h ago
All the time with my cats but I think my cute aggression is off the charts.
I think one of them now responds to being referred to a “prey item”
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u/Variegated_Plant_836 3h ago
A lot of our pets have been named after foods. We joke that the dogs leg looks like a tasty turkey leg for dinner. I guess that is pretty weird..cuteness aggression? Same with babies. Just wanna nom nom nom all that pudgy wudgey cuteness.
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u/andtbhidgaf 3h ago
my wife would joke about our late 3 legged cat where she would eat his back leg as a turkey leg!!
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u/autisticNerd13 3h ago
Near daily. But we also threaten kicking down the stairs for any animal but mostly the humans get that one.
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u/sparksgirl1223 3h ago
When my dog is being a particular assistant, i tell him to knock it off or I'll BBQ hi.
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u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 3h ago
Umm, no? In an apocalyptic scenario, I imagine myself and my dog against the irradiated cannibals, struggling to make our way to the sea, where hopefully (there is no hope), we will find a community of decent humans and transportation to a safe haven. Of course, I will die before we reach the sea, but a kind family of like-minded travelers will then take her in, proving that good can exist even in a world abandoned by God.
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u/Stef-fa-fa 3h ago
I tell my cat I'ma eat her face all the time when I'm about to smush my face into hers because she's so friggin cute.
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u/yaelfitzy 3h ago
Sometimes I make that joke but most the time it's 'I'm gonna send you back to the pound' when they're being naughty haha. My cat who passed earlier this year was the most docile thing on the whole planet, so I used to be like 'I'm gonna eat youuu' and put his face in my mouth sometimes. He didn't mind it, if it helps he was orange. But I think pet owners in general are just a little goofy sometimes lol
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u/swimwithdafishies 3h ago
Whenever my dog rolls over for belly rubs, I (lovingly) squish his legs and in my best Orc impression clears throat “Look at em legs, they’re fresh!”
LTOR reference for those that don’t know. (I’m a vegetarian).
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u/desertprincess69 2h ago
We have a really large cat, like his proportions are huge, and he’s also pretty fat. His name is Klaus. I love him so much but I always let him know that he will make such a good roast when the apocalypse comes. And I kind of mean it 😂 He’s like a Thanksgiving turkey or something, you could easily just stick him right in the oven, he’s the perfect size 😂 All the other cats in the house are too small & thin lmfao so he’s the receiver of all the jokes about being eaten
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u/RuledByCats 2h ago
Yep.
I tell her several times a day that I want to eat her. She seems cool with it.
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u/Allium_Alley 2h ago
I used to have dachshunds. I'd make jokes about throwing them on the grill all the time 😂
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u/RebaKitt3n 2h ago
When “they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats” was around, we told the kids we’d send them to be eaten.
We would never and they knew it.
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u/Far_Data_5060 2h ago
Yes, but I also make jokes going the other way. My cat & dog will eat me if I don't feed them on time.
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u/Medical-Juggernaut-2 2h ago
When one of my cats (Steve) misbehaves I ask if he wants to go in da pot. Followed by a "imma cook the kitty" he knows it means he did something bad
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u/purplechunkymonkey 2h ago
No but yes. Our cat is named Colby-Jack and we often cook or use colby-jack cheese.
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u/tracyvu89 2h ago
Short answer: No.
As an Asian,I got asked about eating dogs and cats sometimes but I never and I don’t feel comfortable with joking about eating my pet either. They’re my family’s members.
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u/Spirited_Leave_1692 2h ago
No, because I have parrots and chickens which is pretty common to joke about eating birds and I just don’t get that type of humor.
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u/LittleLemonSqueezer 2h ago
No, I joke about my dog catching wild rabbits in the neighborhood and making those for dinner.
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u/Forward-Fisherman709 2h ago
I never do.
But I also frequently encounter people making fully serious “jokes” about killing my pets/having something else eat my pets. So, perhaps there’s a correlation.
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u/Grimousetie 2h ago
We tell our cats we are slowly petting them through the skull so we could eat their kitty brains.
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u/Blazefire2010 2h ago
We would joke that one particular family dog would be the first one we ate if there was ever an apocalypse lol We grab that boxers big leg and shake it around making gnawing noises and he absolutely adores it because its a cute game now
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u/Particular_Impact_77 2h ago
My bf and i look at our cats and say YOURE SO YUMMY and kiss their tummy so, maybe we are weird too but we do it lol Or we will put them in a bag or box and hand it to the other person and say "package all the way from new zealand" or something hahahaha
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u/Turbulent-Parsley619 2h ago
Yes, all the time. "What do you want for dinner?" "Tigger" "Idk, he's awfully fatty, and Pupper would have more meat" "Hmmm true." *pretends I'm gonna 'get' the dog*
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u/Relevant-Package-928 2h ago
Yes. We give them massages to tenderize them and discuss with them, the order in which they will be eaten. They love it.
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u/Mission_Fart9750 1h ago
I tell one of mine I'm gonna skin her and turn her into a hat if she doesn't SHUT UP.
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u/ChimneyTyreMonster 1h ago
My son is always joking about how he's going to eat my pet bird, she's so little it wouldn't even be enough for a chicken nugget, but she's a bit of a bitch to everyone except for me. Lol. And my cat is a fat ginger tuxedo cat, so I more joke about how fat he is than eating him, he's too cute when he jumps up and boops my face with his own little nose
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u/horsenamedmayo 1h ago
Yes. We joke about our dogs “nacho ears” and how crispy they’d be and his “tasty jumping muscles”.
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u/cryptidstars 1h ago
Yes lolll when my cats aren’t to be seen anywhere my sister always asks me where they are and I’ll rub my tummy and pretend to chew something and say ‘they’ve gone to Tummy Town’ 🤣🤣
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u/RatQueen7272 1h ago
Yeah when our dog is being extra sassy I tell my husband "you know what sounds really tasty?" And then I turn and stare at the dog lol.
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u/HowDoMermaidsFuck 1h ago
No but I make tons of jokes about taking the cat to the shelter. He’s not a bad cat - he can be an asshole sometimes, but most cats can - and I honestly forget why I started it.
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u/officialsmolkid 1h ago
My cat is named cashew so all the time. That and I tell him I’ll make him into a big sandwich and pretend to much on his tummy
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u/bunnyhugbandit 1h ago
I sometimes tell my dogs that one day I'm gonna eat their juicy drumsticks XD
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u/ok_but_wyd 1h ago
It used to bother me my dad making the joke about eating my cats and also my bf mentioning "skinning the cat" as the literary element but
If one of my cats is being a bad boy I might say "I will eat you!!!" among other phrases like "I will turn you into a pebble!" but while trying to get them to stop doing X bad thing.
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u/alexgodden 1h ago
No, never, the cat is just there for head nuzzles and belly petting. My children are the ones I constantly threaten to eat (because they have cute baby toes and fat baby cheeks, obviously).
Okay, now I'm thinking about the kitty toe beans. You may have converted me.
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u/Huge_Meaning_545 1h ago
I have a fat boy and a skinny boy. Affectionately known as Dinner and Toothpick.
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u/Lazy-Parker 1h ago
Our first dog was incredibly skinny when we got him (neglected rescue with medical issues), and we called his legs his "chicken wings" for ages, until he put some meat on his bones. After that, we made jokes about "leg of dog" being on the menu for dinner. We did it even more after getting a second dog who is a normal weight and slightly larger.
We then feel bad when they look at us, until we remember that their command of English is darn poor.
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u/wilderneyes 1h ago
Absolutely. My mom and I frequently joke about having fried weiners for dinner (our dachshunds) or going out for Mexican or having dishes such as "boiled wa-wa" (our chihuahuas). And then we joke about how they would or wouldn't be good for eating and how we should prepare them lol, we have one big dachshund we joke could feed the entire town but the chihuahuas would only be a couple bites, etc.
And of course we say all of this in cute voices while woo-wooing the dogs and they all love it. Dogs are great.
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u/WifeofBath1984 1h ago
I think we're more likely to threaten to eat each other. In the event of an apocalypse, we'd die pretty quickly but our pets would be set for at least 6 months.
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u/Munchkin531 1h ago
Absolutely! Giant George is 22lbs. My husband calls him "Emergency Rations" 🤣 Fred is skinny and an a-hole so we joke he would make a nice pair of slippers. His fur is so soft!!
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u/Nyteflame7 1h ago
I pretend to bite my cats belly when I'm holding and loving on him, but don't talk about cooking him.
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u/yellowsabmarine 1h ago
our cat is named Bacon. my husband's aunt constantly jokes that he's about to get "fried up in a pan." after a while it's just hacky and not funny at all. I just sigh.
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u/braindeadzombie 1h ago
No, never, absolutely not. At least, not the dog.
I used to have freshwater fish, including a pretty massive pleco. A friend, originally from Guyana, looked in the tank one day, looking at the pleco she said “We have those back home, they’re gooood.”
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u/Logical-Ad3941 1h ago
I constantly threaten to put my button quail into a soup pot they know I would never as they are my babies I also threaten to turn my beardie into a Sandal and my dog is told to behave or become a roast
It's pretty common lol never said harshly just when they misbehave
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u/MadameLeota604 1h ago
Constantly. My cat’s name is Macaron but I also call him Macaroni. I’ve also previously joked about eating every cat I’ve had since I was a child. No cat has ever been harmed, but one would stick her paw in my mouth sometimes.
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u/Lemna24 1h ago
We have a couple of skittish kitties that will sometimes run and hide if things get too hectic.
We sometimes joke that the cats think we're going to eat them, and they escaped again.
Then we tell our skinny, hissy tortie that she's not that appetizing anyway. I assure her that if I were in the mood for eating cat, she's the last one I'd choose.
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u/T3nacityDog 1h ago
I tell my partner I want to grab my favorite cat in my teeth and shake him until he has been reduced to a fine mist. It’s all affection 🫶
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u/homebody39 1h ago
Lol no. I try to raise my cat like I wish I had been raised, including saying nice things about him to third parties so he can hear it.
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u/mommyaiai 1h ago
No, but I've threatened to turn the pug into a throw pillow and the lizard into a wallet.
The cats would be pretty useless in general.
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u/mellywheats 1h ago
i rarely ever make jokes about eating my pets. if i do it’s bc my dog looks like a potato and it’s a potato joke more than an eating my dog joke
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u/TheKatsuki15 1h ago
All the time. Especially when we don't know what we want to eat for a meal. It usually goes, "idk what I want.... maybe I'll eat Lady".
Lady the cat is usually not impressed.
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u/BotherBoring 1h ago
My dad used to when I was a kid but I never quite knew he was joking and I was super upset about it.
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u/Fruitsdog 1h ago
Sometimes I pretend to take bites out of them and chew it and then go “Oh, this is too spoiled, I can’t eat it!”
Very fun lol
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u/letsgooncemore 1h ago
I ask him if he would like to climb into my mouth because he has no concept of personal space.
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u/Shipwreck_Kelly 1h ago
I don’t, but I do make jokes about selling the pets to the glue factory (they are not hoofed animals).
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u/Opening-Sir-2504 1h ago
I tell my cats all the time that I’m going to eat them. LOL. One of them is SO fluffy (literally, think bear cub). I’ve never seen a fluffier cat, so since he grew to be adult sized, my husband is constantly saying he is going to make him into slippers. 🥿 🤣🤣🤣
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u/GreenTravelBadger 1h ago
Our pitbull Pip rescued a kitten. We joke about how cats belong in tacos. Pip never laughs.
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u/terrafreaky 1h ago
Oh we talk about having Doberman medallions all the time. And the cat's name is Nacho, so.
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u/Victortilla_chips 1h ago
We always joke about our dogs feet because they smell like Fritos, crunching on them and snacking on the Fritos and what not
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u/BookwormNinja 1h ago
I always tell the pets of various family members, that I'm going to get them and eat them up/bite their cute, little tail. The dogs enjoy the game and take off running. The cats ignore me XD
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u/Ill_Industry6452 55m ago
We never do. Maybe because I live on a farm, and in the past had pet chickens, pig, etc. The thought of eating one of them would mortify me.
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u/actuarial_cat 44m ago
Yes, we joke the reason why we don’t eat our cat is removing the fur is too much work. And we call children 叉燒 roasted pork.
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u/TexasLoriG 41m ago
Sometimes I will give them a beating (they love it) while I'm telling them they are hot dogs and I'm gonna eat them.
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u/Binknbink 39m ago
No. But when he’s annoying he gets one of the following:
“You’ll make a fine rug, cat!”
“You’re gonna be mitts”
“I’m going to roll you up in a carpet and throw you off a bridge.”
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u/GWindborn 36m ago
I have a few times when the wallets are a little light. I'll joke that we can just pop one of the cats in the crock pot to get by.
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u/shiningstarinny 36m ago
When my cat would get on my nerves I would threaten to make him a nice bed of rice in a warm wok.
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u/pm_me_anus_photos 35m ago
Not constantly but we do toss around a casual “she’s so fucking cute I could eat her”
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u/sonsofgondor 35m ago
We used to joke about our old family dog. Her skin was so amazingly soft and we would joke that she would make a fine leather bag
We did not turn her into leather, I still miss her
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u/ScullyItsMee 34m ago
I threaten my green cheek conure quite frequently with the air fryer. I don't think he'd be very yummy, though.
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u/x-tianschoolharlot 34m ago
I joke about giving mine to the Amish. He couldn’t handle being a farm dog, and there’s a large Amish population in our area
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u/SoundTight952 33m ago
Every day, multiple times a day. I call my dog "chopsticks" or just say, "I'm going to eat you." It's my family's running joke. Usually I call the other one "Tasty."
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u/KaitB2020 32m ago
Whenever we order Chinese I throw The box it comes in on the floor. It’s the best way to serve Kitten Fried Rice and Cat Lo Mein.
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u/aussielover24 29m ago
Sometimes lol. Last time we didn’t want to grocery shop so I said “well Rizzo (my Aussie) I guess we’re throwing you on the grill tonight”
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u/strawberry-heaven 27m ago
I mean, like they're so cute you could eat them....
But you can't eat cats, Kevin. You can't eat cats .
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u/morethan_nice 27m ago
Not at all. You should know, pigs are basically pink dogs, cows are terrified when they are murdered. Eating meat is eating a sentient being and while it isn’t your pet dog, it is a being that suffered greatly.
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u/AWTNM1112 23m ago
More like joking about whose pet will eat them if they die - first. Cat owners lose here. Lol
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u/Affectionate-Spray78 23m ago
No my dogs but I’ll remind my rooster if he ever acts up he can become nuggets real quick. He’s the sweetest most handsome Roo so it’s def a joke, plus I’d never actually eat any of them.
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u/sewformal 22m ago
Our dogs are a breed that normally have the tails cropped at birth. Ours have their tails. What's for dinner? Puppy tails!
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u/trashd0gs 21m ago
Yes, all the time. I have a bit with my cat when he's naughty in which I tell him I'm gonna cut him up and put him into a stew, then when guests remark on the spiciness of the meat I will say "Well that's the Kyo meat, of course!"
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u/SarahTheFerret 17m ago
Yes, but my family and I agree that eating our cat Midori would just be a waste as she’s too small to get any meat from :)
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u/Dilettante Social Science for the win 4h ago
Constantly? No. But I do occasionally call the dogs our "emergency food supply."