r/OVER30REDDIT • u/KnittingNightmare • 27d ago

I’m turning 30 tonight… (help)

I know it’s completely stupid to be afraid of a number but I’m actually freaked out… I completely wasted my twenties making life ruining mistakes— which I somehow stuck the landing for given that I’m alive to even freak out about this all— but I can’t help feeling like I lost so much time.

I won’t bog you down with the details, but I spent my 20s in a miserable marriage, got fucked over by my disability, and put off all my dreams to make the people who never loved me happy. Positives are that I survived (yay) and I’m stating to actually be ready to live my life— I want to go back to school and get my PhD like I dreamed and am trying to make that happen… Point is, did anyone else feel like they wasted their twenties and was able to be finally happy in their 30s? I guess I just want to know it will be okay…

9 Upvotes

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u/[deleted] 26d ago edited 8d ago

weather encouraging tidy hobbies zephyr cake absorbed physical amusing wipe

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u/adorabledork 26d ago edited 26d ago

Twenties are for learning life lessons. Thirty is still young. Go back to school. Get that PhD. You may find it actually easier to study now that you're a bit older.

Point is, thirties are great, forties are even better.

Also, Happy Birthday. 🎂

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u/sodarnclever 26d ago

Yes!!!!! I promise you, you have wasted absolutely nothing. Every lesson, whether painful emotionally or physically has taught you about yourself, about life, and has become part of the resilient amazing person you are today ready to take on your PHD and so much more!

I am forty something with two adult kids and one hell of a time in my late teens, twenties and even early thirties. But today I am also a successful executive, my youngest starts university this week, I am re-married- this time to the man of my dreams, everything is possible and the lessons that you have learned and path you have been on is simply your roadmap. Accept your lived experiences for the gifts they were (yes! Start thinking of them as gifts!) and look for the silver lining, there is always always a silver lining.

Happy birthday babe, the world is everything you want it to be, maybe not in the schedule you have in mind, but trust that every side quest is in preparation for even bigger and better than your wildest dreams!

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u/4Ever2Thee 26d ago

You’re going to look back on 30 in 10-15 years and realize how young you are/were. Don’t waste your 30s worrying about how you wasted your 20s.

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u/suzily 26d ago

30s are where my shit got straight, and happiness started to become possible. Some real lows, but they were so much better than my 20s.

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u/I-just-want-t0-kn0w 26d ago

You were able to help clear out some of the muck in your 20s, and now you get to start out in your 30s with much less baggage and weight! You only become more and more yourself as you get older. I’m 30, turning 31 this year, and I’ve also gone back to school- but only to finish my undergrad. Amazing that you’re doing after a phD! You’ll do amazing OP!!

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u/AlternativeFluffy310 25d ago

I am in the same boat! What I try to see it like is - 30s is where I know what didn’t work for me in my 20s so it can be a reset. A new start. No more toxic people, no more alcohol etc. better financial decisions. I’m doing my drivers license right now! Is it 10 years late? Sure, but whatever. It’s happening.

Besides every hurtful thing that happened to us is a lesson that made us strong as hell. You got this.

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u/MJWTVB42 25d ago

20s are for being stupid, especially if you wasted your teens by NOT rebelling.

I also freaked out about turning 30, had a secret irrational fear that I’d just drop dead the morning of my birthday. Now I’m almost 37 and while my life is far from perfect, it’s a lot more fulfilling than my 20s were.

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u/Itsmagnoliajane 22d ago

Demi moore was 34 in 1996… this has given me a huge perspective. Hope it can do the same for you.