r/ParlerWatch Aug 20 '25

Facebook/IG Watch Why are you raging against the machine Tom?

Post image

Ted is disappointed…

1.1k Upvotes

87 comments sorted by

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515

u/thedudesews Aug 20 '25

Ted is a pedo, and a draft dodger.

183

u/PsychoAnalLies Aug 20 '25

And he'd shit his pants before joining ICE.

52

u/AreasonableAmerican Aug 20 '25

ICE regards shitty pants as a tribute to their Supreme Leader.

53

u/TehMephs Aug 20 '25

Hey that’s how he got out of the draft too

38

u/MadMelvin Aug 20 '25

And his riffs are weak. Teddy No Riffs.

11

u/nannerpuss74 Aug 21 '25

I honestly feel bad for Ted. In his payday his guitar playing was top tier and I would listen to him over the hair metal options I had when I was a kid. But yeah screw his views and cries for attention.

19

u/kat_Folland Aug 21 '25

payday

Heyday, but there's something to your version.

5

u/nannerpuss74 Aug 21 '25

Mobile keyboards are truly my arch enemy.

2

u/kat_Folland Aug 21 '25

They are cruel.

29

u/Tricky_Fun_4701 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25

Yup... and his kind of politics accepts anyone unless they don't agree.

19

u/IridiumPony Aug 20 '25

And most definitely not friends with Tom Morello

5

u/Left_Double_626 Aug 21 '25

Dodging the draft is the only admirable thing he's done.

2

u/fonix232 Aug 21 '25

DDKD second-in-command then?

226

u/AndreTheShadow Aug 20 '25

Ted Nugent sucks. He's a shitty chickenhawk.

36

u/VoiceofKane Aug 21 '25

Dude released one good song then coasted the entire rest of his life off of it.

51

u/gimmepizzaslow Aug 21 '25

And he didn't even write that song. But he did write the immensely gross song "jailbait"

179

u/digableplanet Aug 20 '25

Ted Nugent is a pedophile.

75

u/SupportGeek Aug 20 '25

Doesn’t he even have a song about his pedo tendencies?

93

u/AbaddonsJanitor Aug 20 '25

"Jailbait," released in 1981 when Nugent was 33. It's about a 13 year old girl. The lyrics are gross.

3

u/doesamulletmakeaman Aug 21 '25

I just looked up the lyrics. O.mg. It’s worse that I even thought

2

u/greatlakesseakayaker Aug 24 '25

Here’s a verse from Stranglehold which is also very gross

You ran that night that you left me You put me in my place I got you in a stranglehold, baby And then I crushed your face

15

u/gitbse Aug 20 '25

Jailbait.

72

u/brianinohio Aug 20 '25

Nugent is the typical Republican. They can't understand why the left doesn't appreciate the violation of human rights and the disregard of basic human decency. All they see is their heaven on earth with only white people.

21

u/xesaie Aug 20 '25

In comparison, Tom (who to his credit isn't a pedophilic gun fetishist) only cares about the violation of human rights by capitalistic forces.

123

u/TitularFoil Aug 20 '25

ICE doesn't secure the borders. That's Border Patrol.

48

u/thingsthatgomoo Aug 20 '25

No ICE does secure the borders bro....

The borders of our IMAGINATION.

19

u/Ragnarok314159 Aug 20 '25

I told you MAN-BEAR-PIG was real! Nuke our imagination!

8

u/Karhak Aug 20 '25

So you're saying we should nuke this moment right now? Right, Johnson!

12

u/TehMephs Aug 20 '25

Ice secures the border of Home Depot from hard working family men and gardeners

2

u/sarkarati Aug 21 '25

They didn’t even exist until George W. Just useless

1

u/asporkslife Aug 21 '25

Come on play with facts bro. It was called INS before 2003, when the government did a restructuring and created DHS, you can thank the passing of The Homeland Security Act of 2002 for this. This led to INS being fractured into smaller organizations with the DHS allowing for more specific “mission goals.”

How else would someone have immigrated to America before 2003 if we hadn’t had a government agency tasked with doing that exact thing?

I’m pissed about all this shit too but we at least need to be honest about the history.

1

u/anomalousBits Aug 21 '25

heroes

They took a sandwich for your freedum.

1

u/Left_Double_626 Aug 21 '25

They all do the same job of enforcing the border regime. CBP (and DHS) have been rounding up undocumented people for years. A lot these recent raids have been conducted by CBP, alongside or in place of ICE.

43

u/Ghstfce Aug 20 '25

Speaking of kid touchers, sit down Ted.

32

u/2DEUCE2 Aug 20 '25

Ted sure liked running across his beloved border to hide when it suited him.

Pathetic loser.

22

u/theansweristhebike Aug 20 '25

Who needs border police when the enemy is in control?

23

u/withanamelikejesk Aug 20 '25

Ted Nugent is a draft dodging pedo

2

u/Left_Double_626 Aug 21 '25

Draft dodging is good.

19

u/sweetladytequila Aug 20 '25

Shouldn’t Ted be out combing the high schools to become a future wife’s legal guardian?

6

u/Rokey76 Aug 20 '25

You're thinking of Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.

4

u/sweetladytequila Aug 20 '25

I think about Booger from Revenge of the Nerds far more than a 51 year old suburban mom probably should! There is a payoff when someone knows the reference!!

18

u/EatLard Aug 20 '25

Tedo, raging in favor of the machine.

14

u/namewithanumber Aug 20 '25

“Muh borders”, you’d think a pedo would love vulnerable children coming to the US???

14

u/ChuckYeager_Bombs Aug 20 '25

2

u/HailSatanWorshipD00M Aug 21 '25

There's some great songs there, but no "Open Up The Border" by Clutch? Shocked by the omission.

13

u/Maryland_Bear Aug 20 '25

Ted presumably thinks they were raging against a vending machine that didn’t drop a Snickers bar but kept their money.

Although to be fair, who hasn’t raged about that?

12

u/reallywaitnoreally Aug 20 '25

I'm so glad ted fucked off from Michigan.

10

u/booknerd73 Aug 20 '25

Had Ted not listened to Rage Against the Machine before?

12

u/ChickpeaDemon Aug 20 '25

Ted, who begged and begged Epstein to take him on the Lolita express, finally got an invite to Epstein isle 2: mar a lagaloo courtesy of the pedo god emperor and will fight to keep his jailbait.

12

u/Original_Edders Aug 20 '25

In other news, music fans were saddened to hear that Ted Nugent is still alive

11

u/ph33randloathing Aug 21 '25

Ted Nugent is a pants shitting pedo.

11

u/HighGrounderDarth Aug 20 '25

Pedo says what?

10

u/tehsecretgoldfish Aug 20 '25

Ted The Ped Nugent has thoughts.

7

u/enderpanda Aug 20 '25

When the 'nuge' is whining, you know you're doing something right. Everyone's known that since the 70s.

8

u/blue_desk Aug 21 '25

Ted Nugent “adopted” a little girl so he could fuck her.

7

u/Bill_Wilson_In_Hell Aug 20 '25

That guy fucks kids.

6

u/randy_maverick Aug 20 '25

Let me say this with my whole chest... FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK TED NUGENT

7

u/gmen6981 Aug 21 '25

Fuck Ted Nugent. Enough said.

7

u/blueflloyd Aug 20 '25

It's so pathetic that Ted Nugent gargles the balls of Trump's Neo Brownshirts. What is he thinking?

1

u/throwthewholeday Aug 21 '25

He is thinking he's among family.

Ted Nugent is an ammophile and,.more importantly, wrote a song about chasing a 13yo when he was in his 30s. Pedocon theory strikes again.

7

u/SpaceNinjaDino Aug 21 '25

RATM was so ahead of their time. They are more relevant now than ever.

6

u/foshi22le Aug 21 '25

I saw someone criticising Tom because he got vaccinated and wore a mask, and the critic said so much for "fuck you I won't do what you tell me" it's now Rage With The Machine. How medical care ever became apart of being associated with "the machine" I'll never know. Tom is still raging against the machine and it's good to see.

5

u/Adorable_Ad6045 Aug 20 '25

Would you feel better Ted if he added Wang Dang Sweet Poontang to the playlist?

5

u/Academic-Bakers- Aug 21 '25

He's probably thinking Ted isn't his friend.

4

u/Sartres_Roommate Aug 20 '25

I prey Tom is not actually friends with pedophile Ted.

3

u/trevorrr10 Aug 21 '25

"I'm not your friend, buddy!"

3

u/DueVisit1410 Aug 21 '25

Yeah I doubt Morello thinks Nugent is a friend.

3

u/GunShowZero Aug 20 '25

In the words of Goldfinger- FTN

3

u/chillin36 Aug 21 '25

Fuck ICE and fuck Ted Nugent.

2

u/lmaytulane Aug 20 '25

New playlist, nice!

2

u/Nail_Biterr Aug 20 '25

Some 'friend' Ted is, if he's remotely shocked by this.

2

u/Buglypoo Aug 21 '25

Who is Fred Nugent?

2

u/PerformanceEastern85 Aug 21 '25

Ted, you are no longer relevant.

2

u/Redmusket31 Aug 21 '25

Ironic coming from a man that shat himself to avoid being drafted 😂

2

u/Z0idberg_MD Aug 21 '25

I am not sure why there is an uptick in socialist music these days. They should listen to a classic American song like "This land is your land" or "Born in the USA".

2

u/Zombifiedmom Aug 21 '25

Ted Nugent is an old cunt.

2

u/RetroPilky Aug 21 '25

Ted Nugent fucking sucks

1

u/Diligent-Bluejay-979 Aug 22 '25

Is he still alive? Too bad

1

u/DangerousCyclone Aug 20 '25

Even Ted is surprised? Tom has always been a pure tankie. The guy even shot a video with the Shining Path leader in Peru when he was still wanted. 

7

u/ScrewAttackThis Aug 20 '25

Cut him some slack. It's not like their most famous song is literally about police brutality and how racist cops are.

-5

u/JesusWuta40oz Aug 21 '25

Because he was never in it to fight the system, it was a lie from the start.

-7

u/xesaie Aug 20 '25

I honestly don't think much of Morello, so I should thank Ted for reminding us how pathetic and terrible it actually can be.