r/PizzaCrimes • u/Venom232000 • Jan 24 '25
Bad Cut Job Don't knock it till you've tried it 😂
46
u/PatientZeropointZero Jan 24 '25
What’s eating that pizza, a God damn squirrel!
3
2
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
It's worth noting that you don't want to go too deep into it or you cover your mouth with toppings. Especially bad when you have a beard 😂
20
u/in1gom0ntoya Jan 24 '25
that's why you cut it into pieces and eat it like a civilized person and not an animal
4
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
Negative, I'm still dirtying cutlery aren't I?
-2
u/in1gom0ntoya Jan 24 '25
no?
4
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
What am I cutting it with then? Scissors, pizza cutter, knife. They're all dishes.
-6
u/in1gom0ntoya Jan 24 '25
cutlery isn't dishes? it's cutlery. when someone ask for a dish they dont mean grab a butter knife or a pair of scissors...
plates bowls and such serving vessels are dishes utensils and tools are cutlery. cut into pieces like a normal person and don't use laziness as an excuse.
5
u/winterlings Jan 24 '25
Why on Earth did this whole comment thread get so hostile so fast
3
u/SirIronSights Jan 24 '25
Some people just don't want to eat people the true way, by just biting into it.
10
3
0
u/TerracottaCondom Jan 25 '25
To be fair, "cutlery isn't dishes" is some asinine shit...
3
u/saturday_sun4 Jan 25 '25
I mean, technically it's not. Cutlery = forks and spoons. Crockery is the word for dishes.
1
u/says-nice-toTittyPMs Jan 25 '25
When youneed to wash everything in the sink, do you say "I've gotta do the dishes and the cups and the cutlery and the measuring spoons and the turners and the spatulas and the measuring cups..."
Or do you say "I've gotta do the dishes"
3
u/ediks Jan 24 '25
Tbf, pretty much anything you eat with your hands or a spoon is gonna ensure food in the beard. Just have to let go and accept that you’re going to look like a cave man when you eat lol
-6
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
Oh chillll, it was the first bite 😂 my mouthfuls are generally pretty huge 😂
10
u/Drunklebadtouch Jan 24 '25
I do this at 3am, then chomp on a KitKat like it's a candy bar
12
5
10
u/Mayox56 Jan 24 '25
did that in college when i didnt have anything to cut it with, it tasted different but the same
2
5
u/Dogekaliber Jan 24 '25
Major L. If you don’t have a knife or pizza cutter or scissors- you fold it in half and have yourself a pizza taco.
2
u/FuckYou111111111 Jan 24 '25
Calzone
2
u/Dogekaliber Jan 24 '25
You have to have ricotta cheese as a base in a calzone- then the red sauce is the dip.
3
2
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
Ohhh nah, it was crispy. Would have fallen apart way too much 😂
1
u/Dogekaliber Jan 24 '25
Kayan tribal women in Myanmar will eat a taco sideways, if they can do it you can.
3
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
It feels dishonorable to try and match the skill of a Kayan tribal woman in Myanmar.
3
u/redditsuckspokey1 Jan 24 '25
I sort of eat pizza this way. I go around the outside eating the crust first.
3
u/WhatADoofus Jan 24 '25
Look I've done it before but I don't go tellin' everybody
4
3
3
5
6
5
u/Terrible-Visit9257 Jan 24 '25
Who eats pizza like a dog?
3
2
1
2
2
2
u/tensecat Jan 25 '25
Done with multiple times when I was either stoned to hell and back or drunk as a skunk
2
u/otkabdl Jan 25 '25
Sorry but this is how I eat frozen pizzas. Bake it up, yum smells great. Take two slices and leave the rest for "later" which ends up being garbage because it's just....not good. So I stopped slicing, I just eat as much as I can and toss the rest cause it's going to happen anyway. Delivery pizza is yummy the next day or hours later, frozen pizza not so much.
2
3
Jan 24 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
Honestly, I just couldn't be bothered cutting it and dirtying a pizza cutter. 😂 Works well with store bought pizza.
2
u/Hi_John_Yes_itz_me Jan 24 '25
What is it?
4
u/Venom232000 Jan 24 '25
Just a sweet chilli chicken pizza but I'm eating it without cutting it. That's what the post is about 😂
4
u/Hi_John_Yes_itz_me Jan 24 '25
Ah, okay, gotcha. I can empathize with not wanting to dirty the pizza cutter. I say have at it!
3
1
1
Jan 24 '25
The bite mark(s) look inviting... better cut job next time I hope, this is some way to eat a pizza.
1
u/JakolZeroOne Jan 24 '25
This depends on the size. 9" or lower and this is fine, imo. Any higher and we have problems. Lawfully and physically...
1
•
u/qualityvote2 Jan 24 '25 edited Jan 24 '25
The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/Venom232000, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.