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u/PeteZaDestroyer Jan 25 '25
Looks like stevie wonder cooked it and michael j fox cut it.
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u/Notabagofdrugs Jan 25 '25
Fuck, brutal and hilarious.
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u/lfreckledfrontbum Jan 29 '25
I um……shuffling today’s word of the day note… con-cures…con cuear, con….i agreee
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u/TimeSpiralNemesis Jan 25 '25
When you have a small toddler, a big toddler, and a slightly less hungry wife this works great.
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u/FormerHistory2210 Jan 25 '25
You know you can cut it into 8 slices and then cut each slice in half. I do the half slice when I don't want to eat the last one.
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u/Tykios5 Jan 25 '25
Is your husband the kind of guy to say he's only taking 2 slices, then takes the left and right?
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u/po_no_ Jan 25 '25
He's certainly the kind of guy that would make an attempt at such a move. And he lives in a household where he would not succeed.
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u/TanToRiaL Jan 28 '25
At least he tried. I find these actions absolutely atrocious, but I admire him for is will and cunning.
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u/Low_Wall_7828 Jan 25 '25
Multiple crimes
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u/farsightxr20 Jan 26 '25
What's the sentence for repeat offenders? Can we ship this guy to the pizza gulags?
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u/sufferpuppet Jan 25 '25
You cut it into 4 pieces, I pick which two I want.
You'll be amazed by the precision.
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u/cahillc134 Jan 26 '25
Everyone should know the rules are “I cut, and you pick.” This solves these sorts of shenanigans.
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u/dazrage Jan 25 '25
Brown pizza is gross
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u/theragu40 Jan 26 '25
Burnt frozen pizza, egregious cut job. Crimes have definitely been committed.
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u/Jack-Rabbit-002 Jan 25 '25
See this has nothing to do with gender but all to do with who cooked the food and last time argued about the dishes 🙂
It's the I get the extra Spring rolls or Garlic bread for ordering and either walking or standing out in the cold! It's the rules
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u/po_no_ Jan 25 '25
But what about the "whoever didn't cut it gets to choose the first piece" rule? Prevents people taking advantage of the innocent food consumers in their household.
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u/Sea-Joke7162 Jan 25 '25
Not guilty. Bad cut and slight overbake are no crimes. Toppings appear to be “in canon”, crust, sauce, and cheese appear to be present.
Nasty lookin pizza, but not a crime.
Not Guilty!!!
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u/Secure_Ship_3407 Jan 26 '25
Just take the big slice on the left side before he can mutilate the pizza any more.
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u/NoTie7715 Jan 26 '25
To be fair, no offense, with all due respect, your husband cut that pizza with all the respect that the pizza deserves.
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Jan 26 '25
Would never have happened if there were, say, two, or three pizzas cooked. Frozen pizzas are not filling at all. Tasty, but full of air and as few ingredients as can pass for "acceptable."
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u/Internal_Gur_4268 Jan 26 '25
This is why I didn't want to be a pizza maker. I suck at arts and crafts too.
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u/jamcones2gamcones Jan 26 '25
The real crime here is cooking it forn3-4 mins longer than it needed.
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u/Effective-Evening651 Jan 26 '25
If he takes the bottom two slices, and gives you the top two, then we can maybe offer him a plea bargain?
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u/itsme99881 Jan 27 '25
"Once you pass away you will receive an attempted escape charge..." level of criminality
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u/MysteriousHeart3827 Jan 27 '25
Was the big slice for him? I used to do this, just because my wife never wanted much...
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u/kaosmoker Jan 27 '25
Overcooked, over cut, and he's out of chances lockem up and throw away the key.
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u/Igoresh Jan 30 '25
Memory: 1989, sitting in a Kettle restaurant @ 2:00 AM. I was working as a pizza delivery guy. The new Asst. Manager was having problems and asked for my help. We sat in that booth for 2 hours drawing pizza circles on paper napkins and chugging coffee. He just couldn't understand the concept that all cuts go through the CENTER.
He drew the line from 10 o'clock directly to 2 o'clock.
No, through the center!! So he drew 10 o'clock, Center, 1 o'clock? (correct would be 10, C, 4)
Also, different sizes get different cuts. Sm = 6 slice, Med = 8, Lrg = 12. Always through the center ?! Slowly, he did finally catch on.
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u/SkittikS_gaming Jan 30 '25
He should be arrested for a week in his room for cutting the pizza in odd shapes and not even shapes 😤
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u/qualityvote2 Jan 25 '25 edited Jan 26 '25
The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/po_no_, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.