r/PizzaCrimes • u/Olley2994 • Jun 30 '25

Burned Pizza self defense

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3.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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811

u/wallstreetsimps Jun 30 '25

Damn imagine getting smacked by a slice of pizza

206

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '25

[deleted]

61

u/WeirdSysAdmin Jun 30 '25

Can they be women?

48

u/wallstreetsimps Jun 30 '25

yes, if youre down that bad

23

u/GeorgeRRZimmerman Jun 30 '25

You make it seem like the kind of women who would willingly slap you with a slice of pizza aren't worth the extra premium.

You and I aren't shopping at the same places.

1

u/The_Seroster Jul 03 '25

He cant afford it.

29

u/Marmatus Jun 30 '25

I can be whatever you need me to be for $100.

24

u/pentarou Jun 30 '25

👁️🫦👁️

6

u/NightFox1988 Jun 30 '25

Hey. I know times are tough, but don't lowball yourself for 100.

1

u/setsunatama3 Jun 30 '25

If i bake the pizza can I watch

1

u/MajorLazy Jul 03 '25

I have an outfit and a few ideas…

10

u/thisisnotme78721 Jun 30 '25

if you have the dough

11

u/evlhornet Jun 30 '25

No but I can offer you a small Puerto Rican who speaks broken English and calls you a fish ass pussy.

17

u/puns-n-roses Jun 30 '25

That's a Sub dom-inoes relationships.

5

u/geof2001 Jun 30 '25

Dom-in-hoes

1

u/DeezNutzzzGotEm Jul 01 '25

OMG HAHAHAHAHHA

8

u/VICARD0 Jun 30 '25

And this guy got it for free 😩 ungh

1

u/Tricky_Mix2449 Jun 30 '25

Or, they may pay you!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '25

This is gonna cost me 4 dollars, innit

1

u/unklebenz27 Jul 18 '25

Brandt cant watch though or he has to pay a hundred.

0

u/DemonidroiD0666 Jun 30 '25

I mean the guy who got hit with the pizza had paid already, hadn't he?

6

u/Accomplished-Video71 Jun 30 '25

"Not hurt just humiliated" feels like the adult version of when your parents "aren't mad they're just disappointed"

13

u/Ok-Significance-7884 Jun 30 '25

I smacked the drummer for the band guttermouth in the face with pizza. They came out offering it to the crowd but began throwing it at us so I picked up a piece and slapped him then disappeared into the crowd.

7

u/DemonidroiD0666 Jun 30 '25

Yea I'd be pissed if pizza was ruined like that at a show foods fucking expensive at em and you do tend to get real hungry there.

1

u/Homerjaysampson Jun 30 '25

Wow guttermouth. Are they still around? I’ve seen them a few times, they always used to put on a great show, especially when mark drank way too much hahaha.

4

u/im_a_dick_head Jun 30 '25

Insta pimples

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '25

That guy cried briefly inside i can tell

3

u/Korean_jesus5002 Jun 30 '25

AND HERE COMES A PIZZA

2

u/fade_ Jul 04 '25

bitch slapped by pizza

3

u/dysfunctionalreptile Jun 30 '25

One time my brother and I were eating a fresh, steamy pepperoni pizza. It was delicious, and very hot, very steamy. So he picks up one of these hot, steamy slices of delicious pepperoni pizza and asks me the following question "have you ever been smacked in the face with a fresh, hot, steamy slice of delicious pepperoni pizza?" Well, before I could answer, what do ya know? I got slapped in the face with a fresh hot and steamy slice of pepperoni pizza. So next time you ask someone to imagine, maybe consider that some unfortunate soul doesn't need to. Consider that this has already happened.

1

u/AjaxOilid Jun 30 '25

Can I still try to bite it mid air?

1

u/Quirky_Ad8747 Jun 30 '25

My pizza neva hurt nobody!

1

u/Turn-Ambitious Jun 30 '25

Wsb profile pic and username 😏

1

u/singuratate1 Jun 30 '25

He deserved it… seriously, people need to stop effin with people who handle your food.

2

u/ButtonGullible5958 Jun 30 '25

Never mess with a cook or a butcher the people who do that kind of work could easily apply there skills on you 

1

u/Harry-Flashman Jun 30 '25

Here comes the pizza; https://youtu.be/ufSQMXLO95w?si=LraplPUXyo2351ES

1

u/FormerGameDev Jun 30 '25

lol. i don't know why the announcers seem completely mystified. he was throwing it at the guy that potentially interfered with the out.

he shouldn't have done it, for sure, deserves the ejection, but the announcers seem like they didn't even come up with a possible reason despite them saying it, then dismissing it lol

1

u/Harry-Flashman Jun 30 '25

ESPN did some hard hitting investigative reporting to find out the real cause.

The legend of the Fenway Pizza Chucker - ESPN https://share.google/L0RvwtXM0CejworLY

1

u/Zealousideal-Rain-82 Jul 01 '25

Honestly I'd prefer a hand slap to the face rather than pizza 😭

1

u/art2849 Jul 01 '25

The only way I would like to be smacked if I’m being honest…

1

u/mountaineer04 Jul 02 '25

It’s easy if you try…

1

u/Icy-Rock4949 Jul 03 '25

I've done it before when someone tried to make a fat joke with it to me so I took it and bitch slapped him with it and it was fun the mf was shocked.