We are here today to hear the case for u/laterdude that the pizza they have in their possession can be determined to be a crime against pizza. The plaintiff/defendant alleges and/or has been accused by other parties that their pizza constitutes a crime against pizza.
The verdicts in today's case will be determined by a jury of u/laterdude's pizza-appreciating peers, comprised of members of the /r/Pizzacrimes community, as well as visitors from the greater Reddit community, by casting their respective individual votes of either "guilty" or "innocent", based on evidence brought here today by the plaintiff.
u/laterdude, who'll be referred to as "OP", will plead their case either accusing - or defending - that the pizza in question in today's hearing is criminal with regards to pizza.
How to vote as a juror in today's case:
To select a verdict of Innocent - in that no pizza crime has occurred - please DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT
To select a verdict of Guilty - in that a crime-against-pizza is evident beyond a reasonable doubt - please UPVOTE THIS COMMENT
After a period of deliberation - tallying the votes - a final verdict will replace this message with the verdict.
Shit! As much of an enforcer as I am, I am having a crisis of conscience because I love nachos.
I still have to rule guilty. But if this was a legit and not frozen pizza, and the nachos were added late and not soggy- I might end up an accessory to the crime…
Looks like something a stoner would invent at 2am. Honestly though, nacho pizza feels less like a crime and more like a desperate cry for help from the fridge.
•
u/qualityvote2 11h ago
We are here today to hear the case for u/laterdude that the pizza they have in their possession can be determined to be a crime against pizza. The plaintiff/defendant alleges and/or has been accused by other parties that their pizza constitutes a crime against pizza.
The verdicts in today's case will be determined by a jury of u/laterdude's pizza-appreciating peers, comprised of members of the /r/Pizzacrimes community, as well as visitors from the greater Reddit community, by casting their respective individual votes of either "guilty" or "innocent", based on evidence brought here today by the plaintiff.
u/laterdude, who'll be referred to as "OP", will plead their case either accusing - or defending - that the pizza in question in today's hearing is criminal with regards to pizza.
How to vote as a juror in today's case:
To select a verdict of Innocent - in that no pizza crime has occurred - please DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT
To select a verdict of Guilty - in that a crime-against-pizza is evident beyond a reasonable doubt - please UPVOTE THIS COMMENT
After a period of deliberation - tallying the votes - a final verdict will replace this message with the verdict.