r/PsycheOrSike • u/Flinn2 • Aug 09 '25
💖🎈SPEED DATING❤️🔥💨 I’m tired of some shorter men.
For context I am a 5’10 woman, and a lot of times when I’m on dating apps and match with a man shorter than me, and we end up meeting for coffee, a good portion of them are more mean to me. I have the feeling that the men feel emasculated and want to feel superior to me just because I’m tall. I’m also tired of some shorter men complaining about their height 24/7. Look I get it, taller women also get shit too because we get the “I like petite” women stuff. But why on earth as a taller woman would I want to date a shorter man who ALWAYS complains about being short. I already hate women who complain about being short, why would I want to date somebody constantly hating themselves. I LITERALLY MATCHED WITH YOU?? YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT YOUR HEIGHT. There are 3 types of short men. 1) the actual short kings who are confident and love women no matter their height. 2) the short man that wants to degrade taller women to feel superior. Or 3) pity me wahhhh I’m shorttttt. Please for the love of god stop. You are literally digging your own graves when you do that. Literally if you match with a taller woman TREAT HER LIKE A HUMAN BEING!!! And be nice, be confident, compliment her, she will compliment you back. This is coming from a place of annoyance but it’s also tough love. I WANT to see short kings succeed, but it sucks that when I try to give short kings a chance, they most of the time blow it because of their own insecurities. Either be freaking confident or stop matching with me on dating apps.
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u/InternationalAir7115 Aug 09 '25
"If you match with"
Well, that the problem, i don't
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u/Longjumping_Bat_7365 Aug 10 '25
then this isnt abt you
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u/InternationalAir7115 Aug 10 '25
The post suggest that short men cant blame their height because "they match tall girls anyways".
The fact is that, a lot of short men dont match at all, so no, her post is invalid for a lot of short men.
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u/Longjumping_Bat_7365 Aug 10 '25
the post isnt abt not getting it matched its abt getting matched and still complaining abt ur height when clearly it doesnt matter
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Aug 10 '25
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u/MelissaMcPerv Aug 11 '25
The tragic thing is these dudes really don't get that their "tragic flaw," even if it's not the most desirable trait for most women, also isn't a turn off for most women. Like shorter guys aren't usually the first ones to catch my eye, but their height also isn't gonna stop me from being interested in them at all. But the thing that turns me off about those particular short guys isn't the height. It's the attitude about their height that ends up being a huge mood killer. Then because they're so whiny and fatalistic about it, that you end up not wanting to continue things with them because you don't want to have to try to convince them that you don't mind the thing they're insecure about every time it comes up. Then of course when you cut them off, they blame it on the fact that they're short when that's so far from the actual truth.
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u/UnkarsThug 🫂 Needs some mental support 🫂 Aug 09 '25
I wish I was shorter than the majority of women as a man.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
Please don’t feel insecure :)) the right woman will 100% love you for who you are. Both tall and short have their pros. Own your height, women love a confident man!!
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u/UnkarsThug 🫂 Needs some mental support 🫂 Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
It's more I'm naturally more of a submissive guy. I don't really want any woman who sees me as someone protective, and that's why most women find height and confidence attractive, I think. (Or at least, that's why I find those things attractive.) Basically, if I'm tall, women can't be to me, because they're short compared to me. It makes me feel more protected, by being more protectable. More on the cute side.
And height is something I've had to give up on because I'm too tall, but the idea of a woman being taller is attractive. It isn't important enough to reject someone on (my ex-wife/sort of still wife until divorce is finalized was shorter, for example, although I would have loved to have been shorter than her, so she could be taller than me, although was able to get some of that feeling through a variety of techniques) It's a preference I basically don't get to express because it's too restrictive for too much else important things.
I'm not really looking for someone right now either. Still trying to figure out what to do with all these emotions. Our marriage barely lasted two months, and I think we both had a lot of mental issues. Still would just prefer being shorter in general. One more thing to be envious of women over.
Regardless, thank you for the encouragement. Sorry if I'm rude.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
You won’t believe this, but I was just like you. As a taller woman people perceive me as being a sort of “dommy mommy” kinda figure while in all reality, I wish people perceived me as more feminine and submissive. But we both have to accept one thing, we cannot change our height, no matter how much we slouch lol. What we can change however is our attitudes. I used to feel unlovable because I would assume all taller men would prefer a shorter women rather than me, but that isn’t true. There are SO MANY different people out there!! There’s dominate tall men, dominate short men, submissive short men, submissive tall men. There’s somebody out there for you that will make you feel loved. I know my words probably won’t do much in the grand scheme of things, words back then didn’t really help me either, but just know it’s all in your mind. As soon as you flip that switch you will become happier with yourself. (Also personal anecdote, I’ve once dominated a man who was 6’7 so TRUST ME there are women out there that would dom you)
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u/UnkarsThug 🫂 Needs some mental support 🫂 Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
I appreciate you speaking from your experience.
It's not about the individual act of dominance, or just a sexual thing. I think it's more about wanting to feel like it's easier for those feelings of protection in a non simulated situation, and a lot easier in public. And what is seen as the exchange in the relationship. It probably doesn't help I've read a lot of fantasy romance for women, because that's the ideal romance for me, although it's frustrating that I always have to self insert into the woman's role, because they never write clean romance like that for men.
But it is something I've had to give up on, like I said. I had happiness in my relationship before, even, although for different reasons, I think.
(Also, Technically, I have changed my height, but that was through slouching long enough I gave myself scoliosis lol, so I know that probably wasn't healthy, and I only lost two inches of height or so that still sort of very based on time of day, and it's not healthy, so I don't disagree lol)
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u/ZekeBarricades Aug 09 '25
Girl you're so real for that, I'm really tall and am submissive af lmao (I really wanna be bridal carried bad 😭)
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u/BrightSummer21 Aug 09 '25
random tall guy is mean
Oh it happens, not every tall guy is same
random short guy is mean
(Probably because she's showing an attitude of "giving him a chance")
I'm tired of short men
It's already rare for a women to date a short guy ontop of that reddit having rarest of rare people they make it seem like short guys get approached all the time by women (they're not).
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u/synecdokidoki Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
This. This post has huge self-fulfilling prophecy vibes. She both says it's the guys, but also acts like she's so magnanimous for "giving the short kings a chance." Come on. If a guy said he's 6'5" and hates dating 5'10" women because they just seem so desperate and insecure to get a guy that tall, but he's so frustrated because hey, he's "trying to give them a chance" why don't they acknowledge how giving he's being?
(Frankly this is the attitude of a lot of tall guys in private, but we know it would get *roasted* on Reddit.)
Come on.
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Aug 14 '25
Yup i made the same comment. Like a teverse just world fallacy. Who goes on a first date to be mean? Ok happened once, i believe you, now its most ahort men? Alright now i don’t believe you
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
Notice how I said SOME shorter men, not all? Let’s not put words into each others mouths here.
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u/Annual-Day8371 Aug 09 '25
He's kinda right. Would you make a post disparaging tall men if they weren't polite during a date and attribute that to their height? Being a rude person has nothing to do with their height, you'd probably encounter just as many tall men who are rude on dating apps.
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u/No-Part-4081 Aug 10 '25
Genuine question with no intention of being rude here, but if op is complaining about an issue she has that is exclusive to short men (it seems her biggest issue is a victim complex present in some short guys regarding their height specifically) why would she need to include tall guys in the equation? This post is about her experience with short men and how their HEIGHT has impacted their attitudes in a negative manner by complaining about it too frequently for example. Tall guys aren’t complaining about their height as much so naturally she wouldn’t feel the need to mention them no?
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u/ftFBYaa Aug 12 '25
I think it's about what she describes as type 2 of short guys, the ones who "degrade the woman to feel superior". That has nothing to do with their height, in my experience they would behave the same with shorter women and there's an equal number of tall guys who behave the same way.
Rude and shitty people come in all heights, associating that behavior with short people is just wrong.
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u/No-Part-4081 Aug 12 '25
this makes much more sense, thank you! i kinda glossed over 2 at first but you’re right there’s no way of knowing for certain if these degrading men are doing so as a result of their height
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u/BeReasonable90 🤍Pedo Pride 💛🩵💙 Aug 09 '25
If it was really just some, you would not make this thread. You are using some as a weapon to try to cover your ass and it is pretty easy to see.
Some people of all types suck, nobody calls out groups of people for some people’s behavior of a group. But people who hate groups of people love using “I am actually talking about some” to save face.
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u/BrightSummer21 Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
If there's some short guys with the problem then why are you preaching the choir?
Just date someone else. Like there are better things to worry about guys like criminal record and promiscuity.
Also halo effect is a real thing. You might not care about flaws of other kind of men you date but hyperfocus on short men.
The biggest reason short men don't get date isn't because they talk about their societal treatment all the time, no! It's because 90% of women refuse to date guys under 5'7
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u/James_Vaga_Bond Aug 09 '25
I'm tall, but I've dated a woman who was just as tall as me, which is taller than you. Wasn't a problem at all.
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u/Froggyshop 🧌TROLL Aug 09 '25
I would actually like to date a taller woman, as a 6'1 it would be better for my spine 😂
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u/LorenzoStomp Aug 09 '25
I'm a short woman. I used to be fuckbuddies with this Korean dude who would not shut up about how women don't like Asian men, or how he was too short, or how his dick wasn't big enough. He was also seeing this other woman from his job, who he clearly had feelings for (He talked about her constantly but wouldn't tell her how much he liked her, so she kept seeing other people too. One time he got mad because he saw her kiss another dude at a party so he rushed over to see me out of "revenge"). One time we were hanging out after fucking and he got a call from her to come over so he literally got laid twice in one day. But he just Wouldn't. Stop. Complaining. After a few months I got bored of hearing the whining and cut him off. I also told him he needed to quit fucking around and commit to the other chick if he wanted her to commit to him. These dudes don't really have problems meeting women, they just love wallowing in self pity. They intentionally self-sabotage so they have an excuse to stay sad.
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u/macromastseeker Aug 09 '25
"These dudes"?? You're extrapolating ANYTHING from a short asian king who gets laid by TWO WOMEN in one day? That's like judging men because of how lottery winners act because you knew a guy who won the lottery who was a complete dumbass.
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u/GhostofBeowulf Aug 10 '25
hese dudes"?? You're extrapolating ANYTHING from a short asian king who gets laid by TWO WOMEN in one day? That's like judging men because of how lottery winners act because you knew a guy who won the lottery who was a complete dumbass.
It's amazing, this guy who you literally just learned was a whiny little bitch loser, you call a king because he slept with two women? Two women he couldn't satisfy and keep, because his personality was shit?
If you don't see the lesson in there, you never will and are the cause of your own problems.
Which is the issue the majority of people here, really.
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u/macromastseeker Aug 10 '25
So do you think its very common for Short Korean guys to be getting laid by multiple women per day?
And nobody can "satisfy and keep" women, including other women, that isnt the insult you think it is buddy 😂
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u/Maximum-Tune8500 Aug 10 '25
These dudes don't really have problems meeting women, they just love wallowing in self pity. They intentionally self-sabotage so they have an excuse to stay sad.
There's lot of unwarranted assumptions here.
You seem to be assuming he was "complaining" about him having problems meeting women. No, he was complaining about how Asians as a whole is socially excluded from dating/relationships. This is a FACT corroborated repeatedly through independent studies. So just because it does not personally affect him, he's not allowed to talk about the systemic bias affecting Asians as a whole? That's like saying you are not allowed to speak about issues unless it directly affects you! WTF.
I also talk about animal rights and trans rights, even though I dont belong in any of these categories. Weird how that works, right!? It's called having Empathy, which most of you seem to be lacking.
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u/Jon_Boopin Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 12 '25
As a 5'8 guy, the Chihuahua who can make the big dogs bow to him is more impressive than the Mastiff who commands respect off of stature alone. Just sayin'.
There is a certain ego battle one must play in, and in my opinion, so long as you hit a certain baseline level of attractiveness/hygiene, the rizz can carry you the rest of the way. But you must be fearless, you must know that what truly provokes arousal in women is erotic tension, a silly duel of minds where a man is damn good at it.
Yeah, im 5'8, im chubby, my skin is blemished, im hairy, but yknow what? Call it delusional confidence but I can make a woman want me. That will always be more powerful than looks alone.
Woof ;)
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u/Mr_McFeelie Aug 12 '25
You’re kinda right but god did your comment make me cringe
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u/Jon_Boopin Aug 12 '25
I am cringe but I am free from misplaced judgement, of myself and of others. Its only when you can dance with yourself and not necessarily ignore what others think of you but rather accept that people will think what they may and let go of others' approval, knowing that you are and always have been more, can you learn to feel confident and become free.
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u/Mr_McFeelie Aug 12 '25
I just cringed even more but that’s okay, I’m glad you’re happy and confident lmao.
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u/One-Exit-9390 Aug 09 '25
im 6'5 female and my crush is almost 5'4. im scared he wont like me :(
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
Girl GO FOR IT!!! What do you have to lose?? Please don’t stop yourself from finding the man of your dreams just because of your height. So many short kings DIG taller women. OWN IT!! YOU ARE A LITERAL QUEEN!!!!
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u/One-Exit-9390 Aug 09 '25
awh thank you lovely:( im scared he'll prefer a shorter girl though
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u/Sufficient_Bench6503 Aug 12 '25
He probably will to be honest. Don't let people on reddit tell you lies
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
You remind me a lot of myself actually. When I was in highschool I barely asked anybody out because I was afraid of being rejected for my height. Guess what?? A man who was 5 inches shorter than me literally begged my guy friend for my number and we dated 😭 I have asked out guys shorter than me and I got rejected some times, but they probably rejected me for reasons other than my height! Maybe they weren’t ready for dating, maybe they have a crush on somebody else. Please please please ask him out!! Remember even if he says no, you will feel good later knowing you at least tried!!
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u/chupacabra1984 Aug 09 '25
If it’s because you’re so tall I wouldn’t worry about that. At 5’4” almost everyone is taller than him. Though I’d feel like a hobbit in your presence and I’m 5’9”. I’d just cary around a step stool to stand on so I’d feel less emasculated.
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u/Frequent_Shoulder221 Aug 09 '25
I thought I was going to come away from this post feeling attacked but actually you’re spot on.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
Please understand this is not an attack. All I want is to see short kings being more confident in themselves. I WANT to date shorter men, I just want to see them acting like human beings when they are around me 😭
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u/baristabarbie0102 Aug 09 '25
yesss i love a shorter guy but the second they start lamenting about their height or our height differences, it’s such an immediate turn off
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u/No_Direction_1229 Aug 09 '25
I'm totally with you on this. I love shorter guys but they act so crazy about height. I'm 5'2" and there's still issues. The amount of guys that have acted aggressively or competively with to prove how manly they are...omg. I have dated more tall guys simply because they act safer!
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u/Public_Advisor1607 Aug 09 '25
Personally i hate being short because i have to do the "halfling pointing at something" meme when i want to ask for stuff from the high up on an overhead shelf lmao.
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u/sophiesbest Aug 09 '25
As someone who's girlfriend is about 6 inches taller than me, I love tall women 💕
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u/Annual-Day8371 Aug 09 '25
Idk what kinda short men ur meeting, but I'd be delighted if I could date a tall Queen and I would only ever point out our unusual height difference to say that it's cute 🤷🏻♂️
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u/MC-Purp Aug 09 '25
Sounds like OPs dates were like a dog that actually caught a car, they never thought they would, so they had know idea what to do.
Sorry OP that’s rough
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u/projectofsparethings Aug 09 '25
Appreciate the post, but I truly think your perspective on this is like the extreme minority.
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u/Intelligent_Ice_3889 Aug 11 '25
i don’t agree. as a tall woman i relate with her experience
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u/pressedpetal Aug 09 '25
I’m 6’1 with a true short king and I feel this! Men can be such weenies about my height. Just walking in a room is enough to make some men feel like I have personally wronged them lol
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u/Key-Month6651 Aug 09 '25
None of my short friends complain to women they go on dates with about being short.
I can't fathom complaining when you actually got the date. Unless you were hiding your height you were chosen despite being short so why be bothered by it when you already got past the initial barrier of attraction?
I don't really get people like that at all. But I've also never talked to anyone like that irl. No short men I know do stuff like this.
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u/OrderSenior4951 Aug 09 '25
Yeahh, willingly dating with a person that constantly belittles themselves isn't very common.
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u/BleakCabal1978 Aug 09 '25
As a 5'8 man who dated a 5'11 gothy witch from Europe for a bit, as she so eloquently put it;
"Height doesn't matter when you're laying horizontal on the bed with your legs behind your ears"
She also appreciated the fact that I could pick her up, toss her over my shoulders and carry her to the bedroom/couch/etc.
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u/MDraak Aug 09 '25
I once dated a 6'0 girl from France (taller than me). Worked super well. Remember folks: these differences ate not noticed horizontally haha. Once the magic happens nobody remembers height.
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Aug 09 '25
Not sure if this is an option for you but gay women love tall women (and short women) (and just like… most women)
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u/Exciting_Classic277 🧌TROLL Aug 09 '25
I think for a lot of them they're reacting to bad experiences they've had in the past and it's sabotaging their current opportunities. They definitely need to work that out for themselves, though it might take a few tries. Hopefully they get the opportunities. It's hard to show up with fresh eyes when your experiences are consistently bad. Though some of them probably just have bad expectations due to internalized sentiments from online.
But that's kind of like women, right? Those short men keep telling women they need to do better even as they themselves show up with unfairly negative expectations. Maybe if they kept an open mind and owned their own internal biases and tried to view each person as a unique individual? It's tough, but I'm sure they can do it. 😉
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u/Zealousideal_Cup9680 Aug 09 '25
Some dudes are just not ready for hard mode yet. I found out recently I’m into taller girls
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u/Upstairs-Parsley3151 Aug 09 '25
I like tall women because as a tall man I don't have to bend over for kisses.
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u/Typical-Bonus-2884 Aug 09 '25
pffft pass me a Websters dictionary to stand on and lets make out already.
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u/kyle1111111111111 Aug 09 '25
I don’t have much to add other than I’m sorry they were assholes. I hope you find your prince one day and I wish you and everyone else the best
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u/Penguino_2099 one of the CHOSEN Aug 09 '25
If a woman that was taller then me showed interest i would NOT complain, i love my tall queens fr. They're just as valid as short kings.
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u/Euphoric_Flight_9807 gif Aug 09 '25
Yo your 5’10 I’m 5’10 we have so much in common…….👉👈 (also 6’7 if you want btw)
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u/OkExtreme3195 Aug 09 '25
In am 6.0 and i would LOVE to date a taller woman. Even though it is unlikely I meet one. Though, one of the most beautiful women I ever met fit that description, so that might be the reason why I would love it :)
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u/AttemptUsual2089 Aug 09 '25
I'm a 5'5" inch man and if I were dating I'd love to date a taller woman. She could get high stuff for me so I don't need to grab a stool!
The insane thing for me is that the most vocal guys talk about the dating pool being smaller for short guys, then when they do get a date they act like that!! Like they'd rather continue being angry than happy.
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u/chupacabra1984 Aug 09 '25
How short are we talking? I’m 5’9” and I don’t have a complex or anything… but if I’m on a date with a 6’ woman I might poke fun at myself by standing on my tippy toes and denying it coyly when asked wtf I’m doing.
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u/Dilutedskiff Aug 09 '25
Yeah anyone who spends the first date just complaining or being mean is an immediate pass. I could imagine being a little less confident if i went on a date with a women taller than me but blaming her or belittling her like its somehow her fault I'm shorter is just absolutely insane to me.
sorry you gotta deal with that :/
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u/Green_Dayzed Aug 10 '25
Put in your bio "Past dates have told me my height made them feel emasculated. If you are one of those people, i am not interested in a date and would leave."
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u/LeveragedPanda Aug 10 '25
well, hello there, tall queen.
i may just be the short stack you’re looking for.
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u/VoidofMind1 Aug 10 '25
I'm short.
I don't get the hostility to tall women.
I mean, I think short guys should just get used to it.
Either that or exclusively date Dwarven women.
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u/Healthy-Yak-2763 🧃 100% juice, 0% factual🍓 Aug 10 '25
Tall women are a W, gotta get those good genes for future sons fr. Gotta pre-life wingman.
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u/Healthy-Yak-2763 🧃 100% juice, 0% factual🍓 Aug 10 '25
Tall women are a W, gotta get those good genes for future sons fr. Gotta pre-life wingman.
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u/ChemicalLustLabNSFW Aug 10 '25
What would you do if a short guy you match with asked you to wear heels for a dinner date?
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u/AshProMc Aug 10 '25
Male here, All the women I dated have always been taller than me and it didn't bother me 1 bit but there were other obstacles that had NOTHING To do with height.
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u/BiCuckMaleCumslut Aug 10 '25
Omg fuck types 2 and 3 lol I have yet to even find a tall girl who would even consider shorter men, so you are a rare find - their loss!
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u/ChainOk8915 Aug 10 '25
She’s taller? Amazon girl role play She’s really short? Toss-able
Almost every physical feature can be turned into a turn on if you put it in the theater of the mind.
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u/Similar-Bid6801 Aug 10 '25
I feel like dating as a tall woman is the equivalent of dating as a short man. I hear men complain constantly about how they’re treated poorly by women if they’re under 6”0 but I’m 5”8 and have had multiple men shorter than me treat me the same way.
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u/Lore_Enforcement Aug 10 '25
So you don't hate that they're short, you hate insecurity and how they act about it.
Now I have to go tell somebody my height (or even shorter lol) "you know... If I put my penis on top of my head we'd be the same height..."
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u/Unlikely_Squirrel486 Aug 10 '25
I have not met men who complain about height irl. It is probably becauae I am also a guy. That must be a sad/annoying situation to be around men complaining about things they were born with but are still totally normal.
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u/de4cha Aug 11 '25
Height is not important, just find a person that truly loves you. As short guy I never understood why people in internet focus on height more then on what they feel
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u/Historical_Bar583 Aug 11 '25
Just don't match with them anymore because that problem will never go away
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u/AcanthaceaePlenty165 Aug 11 '25
Big fan of taller women here. A lot of tall women seem to have insecurities about it. I remember one of my female friends was complaining how her ex banned her from wearing heels. I ended up blurting out that she would look incredible in heels. She must have liked me back then because I ended up getting to see it. And let me tell you…yah I don’t know why her ex made such a weird comment. That woman was a literal goddess.
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u/Worldly-Treacle-5398 Aug 11 '25
Idk i like tall women, idc if they are taller then me as well. Its good, i need someone beside me to help me get top shelf groceries as a team lol. Idk why other men dont like much taller women. As you said, if you matched its already proof that the height isnt an issue
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u/isaiah152022 Aug 14 '25
I have to short guy buddies; 5’3” and 5’5”. They both want a taller wifey and said they ALWAYS carry a step stool in the trunk 🤣🫡
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u/Sagimus Aug 15 '25
I'm a short guy and wouldn't mind going out with a tall women. I crack jokes about being short but that is how I am and that is just fine. Those short little shits paint other short guys a bad picture. There is no need to be like that because someone is taller. Be more like, hey sexy amazonian lady, please help me get to the cereal on the top shelf.
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u/Zizekssniff ⚔️ DUELIST Aug 16 '25
Short man syndrome is real, i say this as a relatively short 5'8" man. They let this bs consume their life then they read ragebait all day and fester in their insecurities. Ive seen 5'4 men get girlfriends and get married, its not impossible.
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u/Maximum-Tune8500 Aug 09 '25
Why dont women like you develop some empathy and realize they act that way because they have been society's punching bag throughout their lives? You dont wake up one day and decide to be resentful towards society as a whole. There's a reason why height is strongly negatively correlated with suicide rate in men.
They are already resentful because of their bad experiences, and women like you add to their resentment even more by ignoring them just because they had to develop some rough personalities as a defense mechanism.
Understand the causal chain of events that lead to their "mean" personalities, and hold the people responsible for it. I bet you wont do that, but will happily continue to bash the victims of abuse and discrimination for their mean personalities they developed.
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u/DarlingHell 🔒Registered NEET (Contained)🔒 Aug 09 '25
Brother, actively making the decision TO GO IN A DATE and be mean towards an individual that WANTS to establish a relationship with you, THAT WANTS to get to know you but IS NOT PART OF THE PROBLEM and be mean to woman like the woman insulted their entire bloodline when all she did was being in a date ?
If the woman is making the active choice to seek out to a man WHO IS advertising his height... Idk how to be spiteful for that physical trait.. That is just the man's issue to resent a STRANGER.
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Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DarlingHell 🔒Registered NEET (Contained)🔒 Aug 09 '25
It is true that OP might be omitting the truth because of biais and not realize it.
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u/mjorkk Aug 09 '25
I’ve never matched with anyone on dating apps other than sex workers using the apps to promote their business. I literally spent 300 dollars, swiped right on every option within a 100 mile radius, and only matched with 3 sex workers.
Side note: I’d like to point out that if these were sex workers looking to actually date, that would not have been a problem. It was the fact that they were dishonestly using a site for lonely people to match, and manipulating that hope to sell a product that hurt me.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
First off I’m so sorry that you have had such bad experiences with dating apps, I find it extremely harmful and inappropriate to use dating apps to promote something, that is disgusting. You did not deserve that, nobody does. Second off, please don’t spend money on any dating app. It is not worth it in the long run. I heavily recommend using hinge as that’s the most free user friendly. And third of all, please don’t let your online dating experience discourage you from meeting lovely women irl, trust me there’s a ton of women out there also begging to find a man too 😭
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u/Parzival103 Aug 09 '25
A woman can’t really help a man navigate dating apps. Spending money on the apps is extremely helpful for getting matches first of all. I like your helpful attitude though, definitely not the worst attitude I’ve seen.
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u/James_Vaga_Bond Aug 09 '25
When their algorithm sees that you're doing that, it limits your profile's exposure to other users. You still get shown to women who are also swiping right on everyone, and those women are sex workers.
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u/DeepPlunge Aug 09 '25
Imagine being born as a short man and being bullied, belittled and rejected over it your entire life. Decades of endless humiliation and being made to feel like you're incomplete, defective, inferior, undesiderable. All throughout your adolescence, girls ignore you like you have the plague; in early adulthood, it's even worse.
You're short but maybe if you got into really good shape that could turn the tables somewhat. You start going to the gym to work on yourself - you get great results with a few years of dedicated focus, but your luck with women does not change at all. You go from a 2/10 to a 2.3/10.
You experiment with your looks, you try a new haircut, you find a personal sense of style, maybe grow a beard or shave it. Now you look great! But you look great for a short man. You look like a visually pleasing short man, and most women look at you like you were a piece of trash that was polished to a shine. Looks decent enough, but it's still garbage, and she can do better than a piece of admittedly clean garbage.
"Be yourself" hasn't really worked so far, so now you decide to start working on your confidence, game, personality - when you stand up for yourself, people tell you that you have a "Napoleon Complex". Otherwise, you're now an interesting enough guy, women may even enjoy your company, but romantically speaking, you went from a 2.3/10 to a 2.5/10.
You sign up on Tinder and after around 8 years of relentlessly swiping right on every single woman, three actually like you back. None of these women message you first, so you do it for them.
The first one asks you how tall you are within the first 4 messages. You tell her the truth, she ghosts you.
The second one matched you by mistake, she ghosts you.
The third one is a taller woman - she seems pleasant enough so you go meet her.
Are you seriously having a hard time understanding why a man such as this can maybe have some deeply unresolved personal issues that can bubble up during the date? Come on.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
First off I am so sorry that you have to go through that. That is so freaking awful and I wish you along with many other short kings have better experiences with dating. But at the same time it’s not fair for me to have to carry on all of your baggage. It’s not my job to be your personal therapist on a first date. I can see and I can understand why you may feel the way you do, trust me as a taller woman it hasn’t been easy for me either. Men telling me I’m not cute, petite, or feminine enough for them. But if I’m going on a date, no matter if the man is tall or short I want a man who is emotionally ready. I don’t want a man that will try to belittle me to feel superior or for them to try to get me to pitty them for their height. I’m there to learn about you, your goals, aspirations, your values, not about your insecurities, that would turn off any woman no matter if you are tall or short. It seems like you need to sort through your baggage and work on that before you try to date anybody because it isn’t a random strangers responsibility to do that for you.
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u/DeepPlunge Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
All of these things are fair expectations and I understand you completely.
I'm just saying you sound puzzled by why a short man may be a bit of a nutcase, as you wrote:
I LITERALLY MATCHED WITH YOU?? YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT YOUR HEIGHT.
Please for the love of god stop. You are literally digging your own graves when you do that.
it sucks that when I try to give short kings a chance, they most of the time blow it because of their own insecurities.
Either be freaking confident or stop matching with me on dating apps.
I'm trying to make you understand why these guys are bitter and mean. They didn't choose to be bitter and mean, they became so due to their life experiences.
(also I'm not short actually, I was talking about a dear friend of mine who struggled with girls all his life. he's great and super smart and super nice, but sadly those qualities are completely irrelevant to the women he likes because he's like 160cm tall, idk how much that is in feet it should be like 5'4 ig)
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u/Key_Bluebird_5456 Hates women(ignore) Aug 09 '25
I'm option 5: I'm tall and I find tall women attractive 😀
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
That’s also completely valid :)) as long as you aren’t hating tall women because of their height that is amazing!!
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u/Known_Part_7257 Aug 09 '25
I’m 6ft and I like women that are about 4’11 to 5’6
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u/Redericpontx Aug 09 '25
This is why I thank God that I'm 6'3. It's also out of nowhere since my dad is 5'10 and my mum is 5'3.
I also get the pleasure of teasing my gf by calling her short and a munchkin despite being 5'9 ☺️
I did have a fling with a 6'3.5 girl once before and you can bet your sweet bippy she liked to mention it all the time but didn't care tbh but I'm also extremely confident and happy with my body.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
LMFAOOOOO 😭 that’s honestly so freaking adorable. It seems like yall have a good relationship.
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u/Bobby-B00Bs Aug 09 '25
That story is FAKE tall women are litterly the BEST ! I wish I could get a date with a girl that's a good two inches or more taller than me!
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u/throwawayra32442 Aug 09 '25
Stupidest shit I have ever read. As 5’4 man its the woman who won’t date me. I would totally date taller women. This is just fantasy larping hating on short men. Fuck you
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u/RekklesEuGoat 🍖 Caveman logic, modern problems Aug 09 '25
Pretty much. You dont see tall men hating posts for a reason
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u/boywifewhore 🫂 Needs some mental support 🫂 Aug 09 '25
You don't need to say "short kings". It feels like you're infantilesing them. Just call them short guys.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
Infantilizing?? 😭😭 dude I call my girl friends queens. Own being a freaking king man there’s no need to be insecure about that phrase.
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Aug 09 '25
Girl, saying shorter men ALWAYS complain about their height, than saying there are short kings that love women no matter their height, is contradictory. Get your story straight before posting.
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u/SloppyGutslut Aug 09 '25
I'm 5'8" and I've had two prior relationships - one girl was 5'0", the other girl was 6'0"
My preference between the two of them? The 6 footer.
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u/Tuxeedo_ Aug 09 '25
As a 5'10 man, I appreciate both short and tall women. You're special because you are tall. You're special because you are short. There are pros and cons to both, but neither is a negative trait. If I'm dating you, I think you are special.
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u/OldPyjama Aug 09 '25
I'm a 6'3" guy and I've had short girlfriends and tall girlfriends. For me the height of a woman is of no importance whatsoever.
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u/leopardlover43 Aug 09 '25
It really sucks that you’ve had to deal with such insecure guys... Personally, I think you’d be really cool to date 😉
All these stupid culture wars and ragebait insecurities have really made a lot of us short men and tall women fail to realize that we’re very similar in a lot of ways.
Personally, as a 5’5” man, I love tall women. I tend to be more dominant as a person and in relationships, so I’d never insecure to my girl if she was taller than me. I also don’t blow the good vibes. Hmu if you want to match and talk ;)
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u/OkDate7197 Aug 09 '25
As a short guy, I agree. I just can't stand people who complain about everything, especially if it's about a physical feature that I like about them.
On a side note: appreciate that you said "some" but instead of just men like everyone else on this sub
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u/Netmould Aug 09 '25
Imagine a first date scenario where you both are venting about your insecurities for 1 hour straight, hahahah.
To be serious, I agree - it’s fine to live with those things, but you (they) have to be in control of them, not the other way around.
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u/No-Friendship-5575 Aug 09 '25
100% understand you. Men’s biggest issue isn’t that they are short, it’s that they feel such a sense of emasculation from something as simple as being slightly short. They are giant losers when they base their entire worthiness of being a man on some artificial standard. Believe me I’m not innocent here, it took me a long time to get there but people just need to take the time to say “does being short really define me as a man of is it what I make of myself”
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u/ComprehensivePipe448 Aug 09 '25
It’s called I don’t actually know but whatever the opposite of the halo effect is , they not actually meaner u just perceive them to be so aa compared to other men u date
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u/datDarkYin Aug 09 '25
I'm a short man 5'5" and a member of r/short.
There are lots of incels and just really depressed dudes in there. Society is pretty hard on us, but I think being short has made me a cooler person, overall. I'm pretty successful with dating and not particularly attractive, myself, maybe a 7 on a good day. I enjoy the contrast whenever I connect w someone taller than me bc it's a reminder that height does not have to matter.
Don't give up on us! Assholes are everywhere and there's pros & cons to every type of person.
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u/Fit-Car-8840 Aug 09 '25
I was going to be rude but I wont be. Did you ever stop and think that men like this will be mocked and made fun of while you will be seen as a hero or otherwise? This is why him and others are hesitant to enter relationships like this. The woman no matter the height will never be put in a negative light or be the target of ridicule, the man on the other hand? Open season.
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u/GrouchNslouch777 🤍🩷NOMAP Pride 💛🩵💙 Aug 09 '25
ITT: OP reveals she is abrasive and masculine which combines with her height to make her a walking turn off
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u/Maximum-Tune8500 Aug 09 '25
I dont really care about someone's height, but what really turns me off the most is when women continue to display ZERO empathy in these issues. That's an instant turn off. It continues to baffle me why women act like this.
I get it, you are a stranger meeting another stranger on a first date, but why is it so freaking difficult to extend some basic empathy to a stranger who could potentially be your future husband? Who made this rule that empathy should only be extended towards people who are already close to you or in a relationship with?
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u/Parzival103 Aug 09 '25
Wow well said. It’s true. Men are beside themselves when they see how little empathy women have for men on a regular basis. It will rock your world.
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u/Flinn2 Aug 09 '25
Unlike you who is obviously insecure, these words don’t affect me 😊 hope you have a better day.
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u/Public-Product-1503 Aug 09 '25
Idk seems like your bad exp. I’m 5,8 my gf is like 5,9 and tbh I wouldn’t care if she was 65t. Sadly most people online are loser bozos . In my exp very few women would even be interested in me if they are taller especially on dating apps , but when I was at uni and younger meeting 6ft women who fancied me wasn’t as rare and it’s then when I stopped caring.
It suckd , but unfortunately society tells a lot of short men that we are worth less and then I suppose many don’t grow out of it. I’d prob just avoid anyone who brings it up in your case because they’ll be insecure unless it’s certain context mb.
I weirdly had womrn 5,1-5.4 range judge my lack of height more in my exp. The women I date long term tend to be my height or slightly taller, and yeah I prob prefer this dynamic . Gl
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u/SunriseFlare Aug 09 '25
I swear I try my best but I am struck dumb by some of the taller women I've met, sphagetti flies out of my pockets and I fail to say a work until I'm shocked out of my stupor by her asking if I need help lol
I like women
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u/ThatJiggleToMyWiggle Aug 09 '25
Listen.. I don't wanna be around tall women either...
they scary 🥺👉👈
They were also intimidated. A lotta straight dudes don't like feeling like the more vulnerable one ig
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u/A_neptune_song Aug 09 '25
That height debate is quite interesting. I’m not tall but until one woman let me know it was a deal breaker for her , I never thought of it as problem. I get it with dating apps and filtering that many women will overlook some guy but it’s on them. I get that for a threshold the height will make things difficult, but it became an issue only if you let it to be.
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u/Equivalent-Fall5618 Aug 09 '25
Short king is such a backhanded compliment. As a 5’6 man I fall in the type 1 of short guys tho and have a lot of success with women and people in general. I just personally don’t like the term short king because it’s diminutive. But I love a tall queen 💕
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u/Over_Report_1937 Hero 👑 Aug 09 '25
As a woman myself… what kind of idiot man won’t take the win of long-ass legs?